• Member Since 28th May, 2012
  • offline last seen 11 hours ago

Peridork


Sometimes you lose yourself in your own narcissism. That's when you find out you might be the bad guy.

More Blog Posts936

  • 3 weeks
    2024 in review

    Had a very odd 2024 and its definitely shown in my release schedule. My life has been an absolute mess.

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    0 comments · 31 views
  • 13 weeks
    Still writing the stories I have been planning

    Probably a fifth of the way through the next Sprout chapter and I dunno like a tenth of the way through Misty chapter 4.

    So progress.

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    0 comments · 41 views
  • 20 weeks
    Coin Flip

    I have ideas for both my stories

    And a zootopia fic idea since I finally got onto AO3 so I don’t always have to do MLP crossovers for any idea that wouldn’t work here otherwise

    Did a coin flip out of twenty to cut my normal sense of overthinking out of the equation and for now I’m going every other chapter-

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    0 comments · 60 views
  • 22 weeks
    Released my newest story now I'm going to sleep

    Would have released it sooner but stuff came up. Hence way tired.

    Hope you enjoy.

    If not, that's perfectly fine and understandable.

    I'm going to crash now.

    0 comments · 58 views
  • 22 weeks
    Three chapters into my Misty and Zipp story

    Would have been done with the latter half of chapters 2 and 3 of this but I had like two weeks off in August due to my mom needing help to prepare for her new wedding.

    That was mid August- super stressful for a lot of reasons- and I finished chapter 3 soon after. Finishing the editing and think of releasing the first three chapters soon.

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    0 comments · 66 views
Jan
22nd
2025

2024 in review · 9:20am January 22nd

Had a very odd 2024 and its definitely shown in my release schedule. My life has been an absolute mess.

I mean I don't like RL posting but late 2023- early 2024 started out absolutely terrible in my personal life in that my apartment flooded off and on for like four months straight. Turned out that a pipe had broken in the wall and, with me living on the bottom floor- and therefore having multiple apartments worth of water come into my apartment for four months straight- starting as a leak and turning into a veritable flood of water that even with two fans going for a week never dried- I spent like four months feeling absolutely gaslit by my landlord that it couldn't be that bad. cue coughing and smelling the beginning of mold.

I pretty much kept saying that having standing water and probable mold spores all over my stuff was unlivable and pretty much threatened to either move out or push the state accessors for landlords and the like. I was livid and, without my family offering me a place to crash, I would have literally been homeless while my apartment was cleaned- it took nearly two months for that to be fully resolved.

In short, my time with this apartment I'm currently in is going to be one day limited because while I like the location and the people- the months of fighting back and forth made me realize that this isn't where I want to live for forever. If rent and the cost of living here wasn't such a pain I'd have planned to move out sooner.

I would move out but due to another factor in that somehow I'm paying my mom's life insurance of nearly 500 bucks for who knows how long makes me realize that, while I do love my mom, she's absolutely terrible with money and secondly has been using our joint account- due to me being disabled and all- to pay for stuff and I wouldn't have noticed if I didn't really start trying to budget heavily so I live generally within my means. Knowing each bill and things coming out and in made me realize there was a major payment I both didn't recognize and was a massive bill compared to everything but my rent payment. Found that out in February and I still have been paying it until today because every time I try bringing it up my mom either dodges the question or acts like she's completely unsure of how to cancel the payment. It's infuriating and its pushing me to either call and cancel the payment because that's the final option or just say screw it and open a separate account apart from my mom which would be a massive change but then it would make me feel like I don't have a massive albatross on my neck. Because I would love to have 6000 dollars of wiggle room in my budget. I mean I honestly try to spend as little as possible on myself- not that I have some issue with self worth but something like I usually like paying for my needed items and by the time I pay those I have maybe 100 dollars of fun money to spend on myself monthly right now.

I mean my mom just got remarried to a guy no one in my family likes pretty much out of oppositional spite or whatever- long story, not getting into that cause its a mess and a half.

But back to me, I got back into the swing of things and right when I thought things were going good, I woke up in a ball on my bathroom floor completely unsure of what happened or how I got in that position. That was the last day of June and I woke up with my eye swollen shut and I was worried that I broke my eye socket with how I couldn't open my eye for an entire month because it was such a terrible black eye.

The good thing was that it forced me to get a new doctor since I had honestly had my doctor visits lapse the moment COVID hit. Yest I know that was four years ago and all but it really was "Well I don't want to go outside unless I have to because I might get COVID and die"- honestly a fair point because every time I got the stuff I got destroyed by it just because I guess I don't have the best immune system at times. And well one thing led to another and I woke up current day with not crippling anxiety but not great anxiety and I knew that the moment I would get a doctor they'd be disappointed or scold me for letting my medicine and stuff lapse. So I never pushed it until I couldn't anymore- and that's saying something because even with me having a black eye and being sore enough to make getting around difficult- it took me a week to bring it up to my family that I fell in the bathroom because I didn't want to impose on anyone. And that was only because we were getting together on July 4 for Independence Day festivities.

Being a people pleaser and trying to focus on others has its downsides.

Still trying to get back to pre Covid feels where I didn't have to have a panic attack when I got out of my comfort zone or on the bus cause that's new.

So got a new doctor. Cool.

Not cool was that it took me six months to finally see them due to scheduling and all that jazz. The American healthcare system is such a pain to access even when you need it that I now get why some people sadly use the ER as a primary care kind of thing even though that's a completely terrible idea.

So you'd think that would be the end of it. Medication acquired and all that.

Nope, turns out my blood tests were odd and even with a few attempts we still aren't sure why. Though getting constant fatigue and getting sick easily sucks hard.

Current possible idea is that there's something up with my kidneys but that's just a possibility- would be ironic though since after college I cut out both smoking any kind of substance and drinking so that would come out of nowhere. That or dehydration which is odd cause I drink water religiously. Could be a few other things but yeah for the last few months its draw blood, stuff looks funky, no I haven't messed with my diet why'd you ask, and draw more blood.

Still haven't figured out what's wrong. So if I've had a bit of a wacky or distant feel when it comes to releases- that's why. Cause with how honestly depressing my year has been sometimes I needed to let off steam by writing really stupid stories. Doesn't always happen but I know when I need to let my mind do something else and that's often when I make the really silly or honestly a bit dumb stories.

These are just the major things and the minor things are a bit more numerous and more just "average worries and stressors" in comparison so as to not bore you to tears lets just say that- in short- this is probably the worst overall year I've had since moving out into my apartment and honestly there's at least nowhere to go but up I guess.

If I didn't have writing to get my mind off real life worries I would have been losing my mind this year so in a roundabout way I guess thanks for reading cause having a readership base, no matter how small, made me focus outside of my own worries this year.

So from the bottom of my heart, thank you.

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