Theme and plot: A Canterlot Carol · 6:37am Dec 28th, 2012
When you read GhostOfHeraclitus' new story, "A Canterlot Carol", you might imagine that he wrote it in a mad dash of inspiration, like Coleridge writing the opening to "Kubla Khan". He did in fact write almost all of "Twilight Sparkle Makes a Cup of Tea" that way, only (I assume) under the influence of some particularly-aromatic tea rather than of opium. But I have an inside line on ACC, so I can point out some of the deliberate story choices made in order to get the theme across.
Let's look at an outline of the story. SPOILERS EVERYWHERE.
Scene 1: Dotted's office.
Humorous opening with Santa Claus
Scene 2: Spinning Top's office.
Continuation of Santa Claus humor
Introduction of Zebra / Blueblood subplot
Dotted insists that Spinning goes home for Hearthwarming with her family
Dotted has plans for Hearthwarming
Scene 3: Zebrican embassy.
Heightening of tension over meeting Mkali
Discussion of the meaning of Hearthwarming
Vital discussion of the economics of Zebrica-Equestria trade relations
Dotted has plans for Hearthwarming
Scene 4: Dotted's office.
Dotted insists Leafy goes home for Hearthwarming
Dotted has plans for Hearthwarming
Scene 5: Dotted's office.
Dotted's plans for Hearthwarming are to work at his desk so everypony else can go home
Dotted is lonely and sad even though he won't admit it to himself
Scene 6: Celestia's study.
Celestia also missed Hearthwarming because she was doing Dotted's work for him just as he was doing that work for the other ponies
Dotted puts a blanket over her, takes the paperwork, and returns to his office, re-invigorated by the Princess' example, its proof of his importance to her, its vindication of his own actions, and his ability to be useful and repay her love
Nice Christmas colors, Bad Horse!
They are nice, aren't they? They are about Christmas, because the story is about one meaning of Christmas. But they're also color-coding the story. Elements that address the story's theme are green. Elements that grab the reader and string her along between the green bits are red.
Neither of us were able to think of a subplot introducing the theme that was short and funny enough to open with, so he came up with the Sandy Claws opener, which is funny, short, and doesn't set up any distracting expectations. After that hook, almost everything in the story derives from the theme, which is told in scene 3, discussion of the meaning of Hearthwarming, and shown in scene 6. GOH came up with a "plot" revolving around the Zebra ambassador because she, an outsider, can ask what the meaning of Hearthwarming is. GOH threw out some earlier plots because they didn't directly contribute to the theme, and because they set up a conflict and an expectation for a confrontation with the antagonist and a resolution of that conflict, which would have derailed the story. (Also, they were largely about paperwork.)
Dotted's original "meaning of Hearthwarming" explanation was more in line with standard Christmas theory:
“To be kind and generous and forgiving. To possess and exhibit good will. It gives ponies an excuse to be better than they would normally be.”
GOH changed it to what it is now so that it made his story's theme clear:
"I guess you could say it is about being thoughtful. A reminder to not only love, but to be mindful of that love, and to be grateful for having somepony to share it with."
The scene with Mkali is just long enough to create some tension and drag the reader along through a flat-out telling of the story's theme, then be defused before the reader's forgotten about the true conflict driving the story, which was planted in scene 2: Dotted wants to make sure everypony else gets home for Hearthswarming. We immediately return to that in scene 4 with Leafy, and from there on it's all theme, all the time, until the clincher at the end, which is the final repetition of Dotted's refrain. It's appeared as the coda to almost every scene, tying them all together. This repetition draws the reader's attention. It points the reader towards the theme, and the mood it conveys on each separate repetition highlights the mood of the story at that point. It was optimistic when first introduced, then tragic (when it comprises scene 5 instead of being explicitly repeated), and now, at the end, is triumphant.
THIS IS (part of) WHY I LOVE THIS STORY.
(Bonus meta-rant: See, analyzing something doesn't ruin it by taking away the mystery! It makes it better.)
Two things I noted about the story and appreciated for the attention to detail they displayed:
1) Mkali's failure to rhyme was justified. Zecora's insistence on rhyming was justified in the same swoop. Neither explanation was intrusive.
2) Mkali didn't just use a gimme 'I do not understand Hearth'swarming, tell me what this strange day means' line like so many stories written on this theme. She called out the existence of competing Solstice celebrations and justified why the pony version should be notably anomalous. The way the question was asked had a broad swathe of worldbuilding implications. It was one of those moments that implies a great setting just a little too far away to touch in the story.
655937 OH NO! Don't admire GOH's worldbuilding! You have no idea what you may unleash!
Seriously, he's got a Tolkien-level backstory for everything he writes.
Well, he is at three stories now, so i think I can safely say GOH is my top favorite author on the site.
655947>>655937
Now, now, don't you listen to him none, PrettyPartyPony! Instead, stay a while, and listen as I tell you about camel theology, and the way the grand schism caused social strife in Dromedaria as The Dancer on the Edge was abandoned as a deity, and left alone in a ruined desert temple. Instead he was replaced by the divine siblings The Veiled God, and The Counting Goddess, you see, which represent a willing acceptance of the limitations of things knowable, because, y'see, The Dancer was lord of truth and lies, his domain anything that can be known. The thing is, that lead to uncertainty and mysticism, knowledge you couldn't trust for all its potency, for you never knew which side of the largely imaginary line in the sand the Dancer was, hah, dancing on. So the proud Dromedarians worshipped instead his son and daughter. The son was the Veiled God and he could do naught but lie, but his lies were in the open, and could be used to reveal truth. The daughter was the Counting Goddess and could do naught but tell the plain truth. Thus separated, truth and lies became easier to control, but the Dromedarians lost the edge, the ever-shifting terminus where things go from being true to untrue. They gave up universality for control. This is still a debated topic among the camels. The divine siblings did make it to Equestria where they were known as largely metaphorical entities: Rhyme and Reason, and are frequently referenced in allegorical works of art, though usually as hippomorphic personalizations (a pegasus and an unicorn, respectively) and accompanied by Enlightenment (earth pony).
Right. Ahem. Would you like to know about the political system in Zebrica? It so transpires that--ow--the merchant class--ow!--split off from the--please stop hitting me, Bad Horse--original groups of--OW! Okay, okay, I'll stop.
656217
I like you. No, I admire you. I love Tolkien-level backstories.
Someday I'll even accomplish one of my own writing projects. I tend to spend more time writing backstory than story. Having decided that "Luna" and "Celestia" aren't their real names, I look forward to the day when I can convince a reader that Tyranny and Pride can be sympathetic characters too. (Celestia is Pride.) Alas, whenever I try to actually write a story, it lasts four times too long while coming out two thirds too short.
I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong, but I'm quite confident I've been correct to publish nothing so far.
Hm. This conversation gives me an idea. I'm going to go reread "Whom the Princesses Would Destroy" and pick it apart into my notebook. Perhaps I can turn my admiration of you into knowledge for me.
656277 I'm going to go reread "Whom the Princesses Would Destroy" and pick it apart into my notebook.
Beware! For that is the path leading to footnotes. [1]
1. Such as--DAMMIT, GOH!
656217
So much backstory. So when are we going to see the camel ambassador then?
656679
I don't have any plans for that, just now. I did have plans to send Twilight to Dromedaria at one point as part of my plans for my Grand Adventure Duology. But that's on an indefinite hiatus, as I try to invent a way to make it suck less. It's...not going well.
656217
So is Georg Canter the camel version of Epicurus?
I picked up on most of this in reading the story, but it is nonetheless awesome to see it plotted out so exactly.
Yes, you guys are making me DEFINITELY feel the need to step up my game. Hrm.
(Incidentally, if it wasn't already clear, I think both you and GOH are awesome.)
ETA: I think I've also been writing too much Rainbow Dash lately. I'm losing a lot of my vocabulary in favor of 'awesome', it seems.
661320 Is this still a thing that is happening?
....I find it intersting that there is only ONE scene in the entire story that's even close to filler. (Namely, the 'trade relations' thing...)...and it serves an important point, as previously seen.