• Member Since 7th Feb, 2015
  • offline last seen 3 hours ago

Krickis


I’m like a literary siren, feeding off the negative emotions of fictional characters. Patreon

More Blog Posts320

  • 4 weeks
    Digitized light novels

    Howdy, y'all. A while ago I made a blog that I was working on digitizing some .hack// light novels, and I have the first two of them up on Archive.org now! Get them here, if you want. Read below for some of the process of this.

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    6 comments · 87 views
  • 7 weeks
    "A Girl Like Me", a short Christmas Special sequel to "Tension Points"

    Hey, y'all. For those who don't know, I once wrote a Deltarune novel called "Tension Points". Well, now I am trying to finish a short Christmas special sequel to it, titled "A Girl Like Me". If you're interested in either, take a look! If you're wondering about "Just a Pony" then read on.

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    1 comments · 90 views
  • 11 weeks
    Leaving Tracks: Wanting to Want

    Today's update is brought to you by the letter b for bats, who wrote a blog post that largely pertains to me in many ways as well! Go read that if you want to hear about some sorta lesbian domestic life or whatever (but I'm sure that'd be of no interest to my average reader :raritywink:

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    10 comments · 176 views
  • 21 weeks
    Signal boosting

    Howdy, y'all. Real quick, not much of my situation has changed since last blog post, but I should clarify my blood pressure is doing a little better and I should be able to go back on the med that was working when it's in a better place. Now, the point of this post.

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    0 comments · 241 views
  • 22 weeks
    No clever title, this just sucks

    Guess who got am on a new ADHD med that finally works and was writing again? Guess who also got taken off it because of her blood pressure?

    So if you need me I'll be here crying instead of writing!

    11 comments · 141 views
Nov
24th
2024

Leaving Tracks: Wanting to Want · 11:14pm Nov 24th, 2024

Today's update is brought to you by the letter b for bats, who wrote a blog post that largely pertains to me in many ways as well! Go read that if you want to hear about some sorta lesbian domestic life or whatever (but I'm sure that'd be of no interest to my average reader :raritywink:

So if this post was inspired by that general life update, is that what this is as well? Nah, I'm too much of a spill my guts out kinda gal. I need something more focused to talk to y'all about. So what I've got is me bitching about writing (you know, the only thing I ever do here anymore!)

I've realized something though. I don't exactly want to write my stories anymore. I mean, I want them to be out, I want people to like them, all that jazz. But do I really? No, and not because the stories aren't exciting to me. It's because I don't want anything.

If you need to be told that I struggle with depression, hello and welcome to your first time reading a Krickis blog! Challenge: Write a blog without mentioning I'm depressed. Difficulty: Impossible. I am doing well in that regard, but I don't think I'll ever not be depressed. And the biggest sign of depression is not usually sadness, it's apathy.

So like, this is nothing new. I don't want to write because I'm apathetic. But in the past, I didn't want to write, but I did want to tell my stories. I just didn't want to/couldn't manage to actually write them. Now? I dunno anymore...

No no, I'm not quitting writing. I just need to find that spark again. Because like, what I want, the only think I really have that I want to work for right now is getting the desire to write back. I want to want it. I don't want it, writing is a chore to me and it doesn't really feel the best lately. But I want to want it. I want to feel that excitement again. I haven't in so long. I don't really know where to begin.

That's a lie. I need to write. I need to remind myself what it feels like, I need to make it a priority so I will want it to be a priority.

I have a shorter story planned as a result. Not something lofty and grand, just a little four chapter slice of life shippy thing in the continuity of my Deltarune novel, "Tension Points". It's called "A Girl Like Me", and I'm hoping if I can force my way through it, just four chapters and then publish over a few weeks, then I can get the ball rolling on telling more stories.

I should say that I deeply appreciate those who are still here. I know for most of you, it's just a matter of you being on this site, and me not being obnoxious enough to unfollow. I don't post daily blogs, I don't post shitty opinions, I don't do the sorts of things that get folks to hit the unfollow button. But even if you're just here for love of Fimfiction and I'm just an author you liked enough to follow, the fact that you are still here means a lot to me. I may not do any of that obnoxious stuff, but I also don't exactly write a lot...

I don't know where I'm going with this. Like almost my blog posts, this is just stream of consciousness. I'm talking because I want to, because as I was once told, I need people to hear me.

And maybe that's a start? I grew complacent in silence. I live a comfortable life now, it's not hard to fade into that. But now, well, I want people to hear me. And maybe with that, I'll want people to hear my stories again.

Report Krickis · 176 views · #Leaving Tracks
Comments ( 10 )

I hope we can refind that spark together.

The apathy you mention is very relatable, Krickis :fluttershyouch:

As long as you want your stories to be heard, there will be people eager to listen, especially considering how darn well you write :raritywink:

Please don't burn yourself out, and take care :twilightsmile:

But do I really? No, and not because the stories aren't exciting to me. It's because I don't want anything.

If you need to be told that I struggle with depression, hello and welcome to your first time reading a Krickis blog!

I hope you make good progress on improving that whole depression issue.

If writing helps, I look forward to seeing you do that! :heart:

5817792
I'm sure we can :heart:

5817823
I appreciate the support. Ultimately I am a writer and I will try to continue to be that going forward, regardless of difficulty lol

5817828
I'm certainly trying! Thanks for the support, Birb :twilightsmile:

Well, if you're looking for the spark, that big long-time artist SPark Did came back to our community a while before and is here to stay with us longer...:rainbowwild::trollestia:

Jokes aside, mental diseases sure are tricky. Am on the server of a university trans friend and she talks about how anxiety affects her everyday school life and regularly goes into a meltdown in voicechats.

Life is good and it's good to hear from you again just to know what is up with the authors we know and love.

Stay fresh and let those juices flow, cool as a cucumber! March onwards to the brighter future!

God this was relatable.

I sometimes find talking about my plans for stories helps me get excited for them. My dms are always open if you wanna.

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

I want to hugs for you :c

5817869
Appreciate it! I've pushed a little bit of writing out since making this blog post. It's a long way to go but hopefully I'll get there little by like.

5817881
I appreciate that, and I may go infodump stories at you someday soon lol

5817916
Then do it, coward!

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

5817965
my arms not long enough to reach :B

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