Creative Outlets · 10:14pm Nov 24th, 2024
*peeks in*
Well, howdy folks!
Anyone here? No? Well, uh, not surprised, I guess. It has been a while! Wanna talk for old time’s sake, though?
So first off…hi. :)
I know it’s been a while, and frankly it’s because oh boy, busy life. For a quick recap since last I spoke in…February of 2023 where I promised a writing thing that I failed to deliver on…*tugs at shirt collar* Ahem. Yes, so current state of affairs for the life of bats, in the quick (ha, me quick, funny) play by play:
Numero uno: Not super recent news at this point, but I came out as trans! I’ve been living as my correct gender and sexuality (she/her lesbian, and why it took me as long as it did to figure that out is frankly embarrassing) for like five years now, all the legal changes are long since taken care of, and I have surgery scheduled for January 28th! This hasn’t taken up too much of my time in the daily life, but I am much happier as a person, and also will have some rich, delicious free time coming up as I recover from surgery over February.
Numero dos: I have met, started dating, moved in with, and got engaged to Krickis, who is a friend, a partner, a confidant, and a love I didn’t know was possible to find in a single person. I’m a sappy bitch, yeah, but y’all know that, you’ve read my fuckin writing. This development has altered a lot of how I use my free time, though. When you’re single and in an unhappy spot in your life, time outside of work is something “to fill,” and I found it easier to find lots of time to write in that situation. Living with a fiancée, that time to fill tends to dwindle. She doesn’t monopolize my time or anything, but we do tend to just hang out together, playing video games or talking, for most days.
Numero tres: I’ve been working full time and going to school full time! In 2019, after drifting for a while and doing freelance stuff, when I decided to transition, I made the choice to get a Big Girl job so I could get good health insurance. I got a job at a 401k recordkeeper because I applied on a whim to a posting, and in working there got promoted a few times and changed departments, about tripling my starting salary and finding myself suddenly a real adult with an actual career in front of her. I’m endlessly grateful for that, as it’s made so much of my life easier, but it’s made it harder, too, because I’m an introvert and autistic, and it’s phone work, so I’m constantly exhausted. I went back to school to pursue a degree in finance to give myself a better out into the higher up positions, where I can hopefully be less customer facing, which means in addition to the full time job, I’m going to college part time as nights and weekends online work. School comes natural to me, but it’s still a pretty big chunk of work for me to deal with on a weekly basis, which eats up even more free time.
Numero cuatro: We moved! This is the most recent of stuff, but has a bit of background. So my parents are on the older side, having me in their mid thirties, and this old bitch is pushing 40, so my parents are both in their seventies. My dad is doing pretty well, but my mom, who has always had some health problems, had a couple of nasty falls over the past year and a half. It became clearer and clearer that staying on her own (my parents be divorced, yo) wasn’t something she could manage much longer. So, Krickis and I got things set up and paid for part of her house to be renovated to where we could move in. The house is in her name, but it’s coming to me after she passes anyway, and paying off the construction cost is cheaper than rent, so it’s a winning situation for me, and she also now has us here to help manage the house for her and help her more and more as she ages. This is in the settling in stage, but we’re still unpacking odds and ends thanks to some projects we waited to do until post-move, like a DIY closet system. This means up until recently, most spare time has been unpacking stuff.
So then!
Tl;dr: bats is a busy bee. Or is she more of a busy bee-atch?
What I’m getting at here, is holy shit, I haven’t written, drawn, or done anything artistic in so fucking long, you guys.
Last post, I teased a project of editing up a definitive edition of Spellbound Fireflies for the 10 year anniversary, which came and went, and I had two or three edited chapters and then didn’t touch it again due to coursework and everything else. I have 12k words of an original fiction novel I’m very happy with that I haven’t touched in a year, and last poked at for like 1k words that I didn’t gain momentum from. I have a finished 90k word trunked novel that just needs one last real edit before it’s publishable that I’ve taken out and looked at a couple times and have been trying to read through to determine how much actual editing is needed.
And I have a number of art projects I’d like to get off the ground that I just…can’t. I want to make some art for myself and for a couple projects, and it just hasn’t happened. I want to learn to play the guitar, but haven’t picked it up. I want to create something, but all I do when I’m not working or doing school work is scroll my phone or play video games.
It’s a different situation for me now than it has been at other times of lack of creative work, I am, as you can see, understandably busy as fuck, but it doesn’t make it better as far as having a creative outlet goes.
Which is, I think, something that needs to change. I’m fast approaching surgery, which is going to change the dynamic on things soon, as I’m going to be on leave from work during recovery for 6-12 weeks, which needs to be filled somehow. For some of it, I’m sure I’ll be feeling, y’know, fucked up and recovering from surgery, but there’s a decent stretch of time there where I’m going to be feeling okay for stuff. I’m hoping to get back in the swing of something artistic then, but at the same time, might be better to get back in the swing of something artistic now. What, though, I’m not sure of.
I don’t have much to announce here or anything, in a way I’m shouting into a void, the void just happens to be a fanfiction site where people sorter Used to Know Me, and maybe doing that regularly will be a way to keep me on track for actually being creative. I think I’m going to try for real to do something actually creative aside from writing a blog today. Maybe some of y’all would like to join me in doing so, too.
That’s it I got for now, I think. Lemme know how y’all are doing in the comments, will ya? TTFN.
I'm doing pretty good! My birthday was a couple days ago and it was pretty good! I'm glad you finally found yourself girl and you're with who you truly love!
Holy hell you have been busy!
First off, congratulations on both transitioning and finding your love! Those are huge changes and definitely sound wonderful.
And I feel you on the aging parents thing, mine are in that range but thankfully still together and supporting each other and doing well. But both me and my sister are aware it's gonna be a thing to deal with down the line.
And honestly, I'm not surprised you haven't had time for creative stuff with everything you've been doing. i'm amazed you have time to breathe, even. Glad you're getting lotsa downtime with the fiancee it sounds like. n_n
As for me? I'm still trucking along. Still recovering from my life exploding longer ago than I like to consider. I've got an incredible therapist and support network thank goodness.
Always happy to hear from farflung folks though, especially when it's such great news on almost every front. n_n
Hope surgery goes smoothly and recovery is easy and quick. Definitely it'd be nice to hear more from you, but don't push yourself too hard eh?
Sounds kinda gay tbh
I have little I can say here that I haven't said to you in person, but I know you can get that traction and get to doing creative stuff again!
5817789
I'm kinda gay tbh
5817786
I'm trying not to, and I do my best to give myself grace over it, considering I know I'm busy as shit, but I also know that I'm always in my best mental health when creating. I am overall happy at this point in time, but like, my job is also killing me and the constant amount of non-fulfillment in creative work has me lowkey depressed a lot of the time. Being depressed a bit while also happy in my personal life is much better than when I was depressed and also miserable, but it's still not the best. I'd rather be fulfilled and creating stuff, even if it makes me busier, if I can manage it. Haven't so far, maybe I can, though.
5817784
Good to hear! And happy birthday!
i.ytimg.com/vi/cSCgvcSioOA/maxresdefault.jpg
Really good to hear from you, and even better that it's a bunch of personal progress! Hope you have a smooth recovery.
Ey!!! Congrats on coming out
I'm glad that things are going alright in your end, even if a bit on the busy side hehe ^c^"
Sounds like you (and Krickis) have been getting a lot of positive changes done! Congratulations!
Hiya Bats. Nice to hear from you.
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Nice to hear from you, too! Hope it's going well.
5817825
Indeed, though I'm ready to stop with the changes for a while.
5817822
Thanks! It's been an entirely positive experience for me, which I know is something I'm very lucky to say.
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Thanks! I hope so, too, I'd like to enjoy my time on leave from work, at least a little.
Ho-lee hell!
You and Krickis, huh? Small world.
Every bit of that was good news, even the bits about not having enough time to do all the things you suddenly want to do.
Opportunities opening to you is a good thing!
And real-life stories of success are even better. I'm glad you both are in such a secure, happy place in your lives.
With good news seeming harder to come by these days, thanks for sharing some with us and for the update in general.
Life is good! And kudos on finding love, work, identity, and education!
We're in this together, so don't sweat it if you feel like chatting with your Internet reader fans over here!
Onwards, and no matter what the world throws at us, love, creativity and Pony remains here!
5817867
I am trying to take to heart that engaging with the site and fandom without having any new writing isn't in fact me coming "empty handed," it's just me hanging out. Doesn't emotionally feel like that though, y'know?
5817864
We did meet in fandom circles, so the small world at least is sensible. I appreciate the well wishes, and I do wish that the rest of the world had good news for everyone too. World's straight fucked as of late tbh.
It's lovely to hear things are going well for you! At the end of the day that's far more important than any creative project.
gee, this sounds familiar D:
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Thanks! I'd like for maybe both, though, being creative is such a boon to my mental health it really sucks to go without it.
5817915
If you write something, I'll write something.
5817941
have fun never writing again D:
Dang! We've missed you, and I wish you the best of luck this holiday
5817966
I've missed y'all! I'll try to not be a stranger around here.
Long time no see, eh Bats? It's good to hear from you, and I'm happy to hear you're doing well! Congrats on the engagement (and please extend the congrats to Krickis as well!) and on having surgery lined up! I hope to catch up to you on the whole 'getting to live as your correct gender' bit soon enough, but I still have a few hurdles to get through.
As far as creative endeavors, I haven't written anything here in a while, but I have been running a D&D campaign
that my players don't realize is reflavored ponieswith a bunch of homebrew stuff, and writing some little vignettes (which I'd gladly share a couple via PMs if asked) featuring characters of mine from a fantasy RP setting.Anyway, congrats again on the wonderful life stuff you've got going on, and I wish you luck finding that creative outlet. And if that creative outlet happens to once again reside here, I shall be here eager to see it~.
<3 GjallarFox
5818179
Great to hear from you! Glad things seem pretty good for you, too, been ages since I DM'd anything, but always enjoyed doing that. Hope transitioning stuff is smooth for me.
Congratulations on everything! Keep finding and doing what makes you happy. Dopamine is a hell of a drug, and it’s the best way to get through that crazy thing called life!
5818327
I'm certainly trying. I managed to draw for the first time in ages a couple of times this week, which is a good start. Maybe writing can fit into the rotation! Please, lol.
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Eh don’t force it or it’ll become a chore ya know. Art is cool, I couldn’t draw to save the world so thats awesome! You outta post pictures of your work, I’m sure people would love to see it.
5818375
The thing for me with art is that I do better with structured things. I've never been quite as content in myself as I was when writing Dangers in Fiction, an Owl House novel I wrote over the course of three or four months in 2021 by writing about 1200-1500 words every day. It isn't a chore, but rather a habit for me, and having it be a habit centers me in a way that other stuff doesn't. I am generally happy in my life right now, but there's still an aspect that's just draining and miserable for me to get up, go to work, eat lunch, finish work, do homework, relax a little, go to bed, repeat. My job is mostly fine, if exhausting, and my relax a little time is great, but the lack of anything else just leads to feelings of 'is this all I'm doing?' that gives me feelings of melancholy that go soul-deep. When there's art, I feel like I'm creating, and that's a much better feeling.
And since you asked, here's a Death Cab for Cutie little guy I drew the other day, with and without a background depending on if you're using a dark mode:
cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/435754133736390656/1311227832072142870/DeathcabBG.png?ex=67496914&is=67481794&hm=7cc3f278c2bf6523b61bc9dad89fbccf3f930d3632676a50bd896df5e861147c&
cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/435754133736390656/1311224003058204712/Deathcab.png?ex=674a0e43&is=6748bcc3&hm=8d87c9f3124690e8338dc5d5dd6268927bcc2d21ada27dfc99d7e06347548254&
Perhaps if drawn art keeps up as a thing I do regularly, I'll post a monthly art roundup blog or something. I dunno, something to think about.
5818438
Ooh love me some death can for cutie, very cool piece. Sounds like you need some regularly scheduled free time for art related stuffs like this. Happy Thanksgiving btw
Congrats and hope all is going well now.
Hope January 28th goes smoothly.
Hear that sort of surgery has improved a lot.
But yeah, we all know how life can happen and just take all the time in the world.
What matters is being happy.
Anyway. Good luck with everything.
5824773
Thanks! I have been counting the days, lol.