Friendship is Card Games: Classics Reimagined: The Odyssey · 1:08pm November 10th
We return to G4 just in time for the muses to sing of Odysseus. Rather than clever Twilight or boastful Rainbow Dash, the king of Ithaca will be played by Pinkie Pie, who does have her own unique cunning and an artisan’s (or artisanal baker’s) pride. She also has a canonical spouse and child, which will likely be important for some scenes. Let’s see where this goes.
It's especially funny to note that we've actually had acknowledgement of the Odyssey—well, the Ponyssey—in the comics before. We'll see how this version approaches the same subject matter.
We open with Pinkie claiming credit for writing the Odyssey in scribbled pink gel pen, with a chiton-wearing Spike looking at us over his shoulder as he prepares to wipe it off. Also an establishing shot of “Sugarcube Island,” where the buildings sport candy cane pillars to support frosted gingerbread roofs, as an incredibly anachronistic Gustave le Grande exposits on how Pinkie has yet to return from “le Great Trojan Baking Competition.”
Despite Gustave’s insistence that the competition has been over for ten years, we actually haven’t seen him for over twelve. “MMMystery on the Friendship Express" first aired in April 2012. Time truly is merciless.
In any case, the episode’s quite relevant; Mulia Mild and Donut Joe are also here, as Queen Penelope isn’t being played by Cheese. No, the one Pinkie left behind was, I kid you not, “The world’s most perfect-est cupcake,” and all three insist that it is theirs by right of being the best baker still on Sugarcube Island.
I have several questions about Telemachus, son of Odysseus and Penelope, in this version. Also how good even the perfect cupcake could be after it’s been sitting out for ten years.
The three confidently agree that one of them is certainly the best, and no one else will try and claim it… which prompts a full-page reveal of everypony else who wants a literal taste. Including Cozy Glow’s first non-petrified appearance in the comics… saying dialogue that’s clearly meant to be coming from Trixie. It start with “The Great and Powerful Trixie,” after all. (Trixie is present and does have her mouth open, so many they’re going for a ventriloquism routine.) Heck, even Zephyr Breeze is there.
I do appreciate how Sugarcube Temple Corner has a frieze of ponies enjoying assorted baked goods on its roof. Also, Mrs. Cake is serving Penelope’s role of the increasingly hard-pressed hostess stalling the suitors, so at least there’s that.
After a gorgeous page of tracking shots, we come to Pinkie’s galley, with pink sail and her own eyes painted on the bow… and the mare herself going increasingly stir-crazy, naming a random gull Homer and offering refreshments in the form of “salt, salt water, water salt, salt with water, and a single piece of seaweed. At least, I think it’s a piece of seaweed… it might be a sock…”
In any case, Pinkie hasn’t been dealing with the wrath of Poseidon, she’s just really bad at navigating, managed to overshoot all of Greece, and is currently en route to what will become Tunisia. (Yes, there’s a map of Earth’s Mediterranean. Don’t worry about it; the Classics Reimagined series is best thought of as the G4 cast performing in stage adaptations of the original stories.)
Homer spots land, and Pinkie celebrates her arrival in a way that would make Anakin Skywalker choke (someone else) with rage.
Meanwhile, lotus blossoms are clearly visible in the lower right corners of the panels. I’ve played enough Magic to know a lotus when I see one, even if it isn’t black.
Also, Pinkie confirms she won the Trojan Baking Competition. I have to wonder how many died, and how many ate so much that they wish they had. To say nothing of Cassandra predicting the winner and no one believing her, or the whole thing kicking off when Helen got the munchies and went for take-out without telling Agamemnon.
Pinkie meets one of the lotophagi making sand angels next to her and happily rattles off where she’s been—apparently the big prize of the competition was “a hoofshake of the famous Palomino Fillywood!”—a tale the cupcake waiting her, and a request for a shop that sells some combination of navigational equipment and party supplies. The lotus-eater being a lotus-eater, he insists she eat some lotuses. Ideally in macaron form, the local specialty.
As Pinkie considers the memory-wiping snack warily, reminded of chili-ginger cookies she accidentally made “in the heat of battle,” her guide brings up the legend of Atalanta.
”From Georgia?”
“Uh, no. From Arcadia. Or sometimes Boeotia, depending on who you talk to.”
Hee.
Ah, and we have our first artist transition. Jenna Ayoub is providing the bulk of the issue, but she’s not the only one. There are four other artist credits at the start of the issue, carefully named to keep them from spoiling the subject matter: Plates, Loom, Friezes, and Amphora. Plates is for Atalanta, who is played by Rainbow Dash, and there’s a frankly great sequence of plate that have her going so fast, she breaks through at the bottom of the page in a sort of Ceramic Rainboom… much to the dismay of everypony else she breezes by.
Bow Hothoof, here playing the role of either Iasus or Shoeneus depending on the version of the myth, insists that his daughter slow down, which she dismisses. She doesn’t want to bother with friends who are slower than she is, which is everypony. Hence a more family-friendly of the race for her hand in marriage: Whoever can beat her “will henceforth be known as her friend!”
Since this is Bow, he also heaps plenty of praise on her and cheers for her victory even as he hopes to help socialize her. Ah, the ever-raging internal conflict of Dash’s parents, trying to improve upon perfection.
Cue a montage of Atalanta effortlessly defeating all challengers… with a deerstalker-sporting Pinkie looking from outside the plates, certain that she recognizes a racer. Unfortunately, I moved to the next page before she could be sure. Yes, really; she said so. (Thankfully, it doesn’t seem that the losers are getting executed for their troubles.)
Hippomenes makes his her appearance, played by Spitfire. Applejack providing her with golden apples does make sense… but the thing is that the original supplier was Aphrodite, as indicated by the heart-shaped clasp holding Applejack’s gown together. There’s a lot one could read in AJ as the goddess of love meddling in Dash’s affairs.
(As an excellent touch, the flashback plates are ringed with Spitfire’s cutie mark instead of Dash’s.)
Sure enough, the irresistible apples distract Dash long enough for Spitfire to win her friendship. And she’s putting together a team…
But Pinkie cuts off her guide once she realizes that he was one of the racers… just as he takes a bite of a macaron and completely forgets both Atalanta and what they were talking about. He insists it’s better than living with all of one’s embarrassments, but Pinkie refuses, for forgetting one’s failings means forgetting the lessons that came from them. Even “the Trojan Rabbit Incident” and “that giant cakes require giant support dowels!”
Of course, the lotophagi don’t take her tossing a macaron on the ground well and chase her back to her ship… then get distracted by the fireworks one set off. And also the forest fire they caused. (“Should we call the fire brigade?” “Dude, we are the fire brigade.” “Ha, right!”) Pinkie grits her teeth and leaves them to it… but a storm sweeps in just in time for a scene transition.
Homer awakens her to alert her that she’s made landfall again, this time on the island of Circe, played by Zecora and attended by pigs. She is, understandably, in great need of good conversation. Pinkie suffices; through her we get more context on the Trojan Rabbit Incident:
… and then we rolled it up to the judges and it completely collapsed. I was waiting inside it to surprise them with a second, smaller cake, when suddenly I was drowning in frosting. Anyhoof, it turned out all right in the end! We still ended up winning that challenge for our creative use of fondant.
I’m not sure what I expected, but I’m delighted all the same. I kind of want to see the Classics Reimagined version of the Iliad.
In any case, Pinkie mentions once more how the perfect cupcake awaits her return, and Circe asks how she knows it truly is perfect. Pinkie insistence that she just does prompts a telling of the myth of Arachne, and here we come to Loom. Naturally, Rarity plays the proud weaver while Twilight is Athena, complete with hamming up her old woman disguise with excessive coughing based on her research for the role. She reveals herself, not that Rarity didn’t already know, and the competition begins.
Also, there’s a lovely bit where Pinkie and Zecora are watching from a massive herd of sheep that blend together like a fog bank with faces.
In a lovely bit of unsubtle foreshadowing, Twilight’s tapestry depicts her stomping on a spider. And she takes an interesting spin on the original myth (and directly acknowledges the cast are playing roles in this series, which I appreciate.) Instead of tearing Rarity’s work to death and shaming her to suicide and rebirth as a spider, Twilight turns her into a spider directly and challenges her to figure out why she makes such beautiful works. “Is it for you? Or is it so you will be crowned better than everypony else?” Once the spider has answer, they’ll talk on the matter further.
Zecora presents this as a cautionary tale to keep Pinkie from being quite so cocky and glory-seeking. (Presumably she’s already had her run-in with Polyphemus, given that we’ve never seen any other crew with her.) Also, she’s enjoyed Pinkie’s company so much that she hopes her new guest will stay just a little longer.
Naturally, every pig in the room waves signs telling her to refuse. Which prompts a more explicit threat: Stay, or you’ll get turned into a pig and made to stay. Pinkie presents a counterproposal: Everypiggy make a break for it! (Also, turning ponies into pigs isn’t the best way to make friends.)
There’s a completely inexplicable explosion which Pinkie, sporting sunglasses, doesn’t look back at. (Also an inexplicable bugbear.) The pigs launch their own ships as Circe apologizes and reverts them, including the first victim, who she was simply trying to gift with a better sense of smell. It turns out to be Marini, Zecora’s childhood friend from the Season 10 comics, who agrees that they put this behind them and start anew.
That bugbear never stopped being a thing, so Pinkie takes a quick detour to drop it off in Tartarus. (Seriously, it just takes a few hours.) The flashback montage of the good times irritates Discord, playing Hades, with its lazy writing. He shoos Pinkie out of his domain and demands, “This is the Odyssey. Go be on an odyssey!”
Discord wanting to stick to the script may be the strangest part of this entire series.
In any case, Discord provides a map back to Sugarcube Island… which presents two possible paths, one stormy and the other through a seemingly straightforward strait. (Also, Spike is painting over an “Abandon all hope” inscription on the gates of the underworld. I suppose the Divine Comedy would be a bit much for Classics Reimagined.)
Fluttershy as Persephone—and there’s something you could read into—nearly misses her cue, but she shows up just in time to thank Pinkie for returning the bugbear to Tartarus, and to tell her the tale of Helios and Phaethon.
Celestia is Helios, naturally, but Luna is Phaethon, presented here as a sister rather than a son. Interestingly, no mention is made of the moon, but plenty of how Celestia only makes moving the sun across the sky look easy. Also, we're in Friezes, with the smaller panels presented as broken chunks of the bas-relief. It's a very cool style.
“It’s just the sun!” insists Luna. “How much could it weigh! Two pounds!?”
… There’s a banana joke there if you look hard enough.
Cut to Luna’s birthday, with every goddess shown thus far in attendance, including Circe. (Fluttersephone worries that her mane always looks that messy.) She gets one request, and naturally wants to handle the sun for the day. Celestia worries as only an older sister can (and also the solar chariot apparently has a manual transmission going by that comment about the clutch.) Luna insists she’s got this, and as per the myth, she absolutely does not got this, complete with parallelograms in the frieze dedicated to the sound effects of her crashing and skidding after freezing parts of the world and setting others on fire.
Thankfully, Phaethon survives in this version, and the two sisters reconcile, Celestia insisting that she’s gotten this good at managing the sun through a lot of practice and support. And in the end, they find an ideal solution in having Luna handle the moon.
This is all to tell Pinkie that what may look easy isn’t always the case, but storms blow over in time… but unfortunately left/right/wrong shenanigans and an aside about issues with wax wings leave her befuddled on which way to take, and she ends up going through the strait despite Homer’s warnings. It puts her between a literal rock and hard place, followed by a literal one as Scylla and Charybdis emerge. (In a lovely touch, as Pinkie looks at the former, the boat looks at the latter.)
As Homer dons a pirate hat and cutlass to ward off Scylla, Pinkie decides that the moral of the story is to harness the power of the sun and blast through the strait. Or, in lieu of a solar-powered jet engine, fire the party cannon she had belowdecks “from the Great Trojan Baking Competition wrap party.”
Conveniently, the thrust sends her directly to Sugarcube Island, where she joyously tours all the food shops she missed, and also the “statue of a random pony whose name I never bothered to learn!” Despite Spike angrily pointing at the plaque clearly identifying it as Odysseus.
Pinkie despairs upon reaching Sugarcube Corner, seeing yet another baking competition in progress and thinking that it’s too late to reclaim the perfect cupcake. (Also, Gustave le Grande calling Donut Joe “Monsieur Beignet” is delightful.) Pinkie briefly considers picking up a new hobby, but she “can’t imagine writing some sort of long-form poem.”
Enter Maud, who is apparently the least medium-aware character in the entire story, apparently unaware of the performance and insisting that Pinkie’s only been at sea for a week. Hearing how crushed Pinkie is over someone else eating the perfect cupcake, Maud offers to tell her a story.
“Does it have a lot of… sedimental value?”
“Please leave the rock puns to the experts.”
Outstanding.
The story in question is that of Psyche and Eros, here played by Sugar Belle and Big Macintosh, the latter of whom needs a bit of prompting to break out of the Boolean for his lines.
(Also, apparently the whole Apple family is the subpantheon of love. Not sure how to feel about that. Does it make Granny Smith one of the Titans? Gaea herself? Grand Pear as Ouranos, there’s a mental image…)
The amphorae are honestly hilarious. Maud and Pinkie watch as the myth plays out on the assorted vases with no change in their blocking. Maud’s deadpan really adds to the experience.
Appledite’s tasks for Sugar Belle to prove she wants to make amends after betraying Mac’s trust are mostly farm chores… and then she asks for water from the Styx. “It helps kills any parasprites on my trees.” Also to get Fluttersephone’s skin care routine for the livestock so they’ll look good “before the next Olympus Fair.” (Discord is just mildly perturbed that ponies don’t ask anymore before flying a giant eagle into the underworld.)
Inspired by Psyche’s determination, Pinkie goes forth to “decimate the competition!!!”
Yes, that’s a quote, three exclamation points and all. She winks and giggles in the next panel to offset it. Remembering the lesson of Arachne, she also decides to prove her worth rather than simply marching in and demanding the cupcake by virtue of her reputation. Cue a quick trip to Disguises ‘R’ Us, complete with giraffe mascot in a beagle puss.
The competition begins, with all competitors challenged to make an edible display for the perfect cupcake. And Trixie actually getting her lines this time. Even Chrysalis is here, along with Pinkie disguised as… pony Guy Fieri. Yeah, that works. Even her alias is “Fiery.”
… Oh dear. Trixie calls herself “The Great and Powerful Trivia” in one panel during the contestant interview montage.
In any case, after much calculation, Pinkie begins assembling her entry… and triggers a flashback to the Trojan Rabbit Incident. (To my immense disappointment, it seems the rabbit wasn’t actually big enough to contain her.) She also high-fives her past self in gratitude as she applies this lesson and reinforces the support dowels. Homer explains that time remains intact because “The miracles of comic books are such that time can never be broken.” (Translated from Seagull.)
Naturally, Pinkie wins, dramatically reveals her true identity, celebrates (complete with the friendly lotus-eater and Zecora showing up,) and triumphantly holds the perfect cupcake aloft… just in time for Homer to swoop down and snatch it out of her hooves.
After several silent panels of everyone watching him fly off, Pinkie shrugs and delivers the closing lines of the comic: “Oh well! It’s about the journey, after all!”
This was outstanding from start to finish. While I’m surprised at some of the omissions and inclusions—the sirens are especially prominent in their absence, and the gags practically write themselves with Polyphemus—this was still some of the most fun I’ve had with the comics in quite some time. (Plus, the digressions are in keeping with the meandering structure of the original, to say nothing of Homer stealing credit for the whole thing, whether that’s perfect cupcake or long-standing oral tradition. And it's honestly hilarious how much less trouble Pinkie has to deal with when she doesn't have to keep watch over an entire crew of trouble-making idiots.)
Now for the cards. I was a bit worried about finding material when Magic has already had four Greek mythology-themed sets thanks to Theros being a thing, but given this much material, it shouldn’t be a problem. On to the next verse:
Divine Sunscreen W
Instant
Target creature you control gains hexproof from the color of your choice until end of turn. If you chose white, return Divine Sunscreen from its owner’s graveyard to that player’s hand at the beginning of the next end step. Otherwise, scry 1.
Simple miracles are still miraculous.
Swaddling Flock 2W
Instant
Cast this spell only during combat after blockers are declared.
For each creature attacking you or a planewalker you control, create a 0/1 white Sheep creature token that’s blocking that creature. Prevent all combat damage that would be dealt to Sheep this turn.
Circe, Sorcerous Swineherd 2WW
Legendary Creature — Zebra Spellshaper
Vigilance, protection from Boars
XWW, T, Discard two cards: Exile X target creatures. For each creature exiled this way, its controller creates a 2/2 green Boar creature token.
“Welcome, friend. No need to grieve. None who come here wish to leave.”
3/3
Seraph of the Sands 3WW
Creature — Angel
Flash
Flying, vigilance
When this creature enters, exile target creature. Return that creature to the battlefield under its owner’s control at the beginning of the next end step if you control that creature or if you control no Deserts.
3/3
Katabatic Eagle 4W
Creature — Bird
Flying
Whenever this creature attacks, you may cast target creature card with mana value 3 or less from your graveyard this turn.
“At least write ahead. Persephone can barely keep enough unusually sized rodents in the larder to feed the things.”
—Hades, god of the dead
3/3
Anakin, Junkyard Genius 1U
Legendary Creature — Human Artificer Mystic
Each artifact card in your hand has miracle. Its miracle cost is equal to its mana cost reduced by X, where X is Anakin’s power. (You may cast a card for its miracle cost when you draw it if it’s the first card you drew this turn.)
Whenever you cast an artifact spell, put a +1/+1 counter on Anakin.
1/1
Mythology Analyst 2U
Creature — Pony Detective
Whenever a nontoken enchantment enters under your control, investigate. (Create a Clue token. It’s an artifact with “2, Sacrifice this artifact: Draw a card.”)
Activated abilities of artifacts you control cost 2 less to activate as long as the final chapter ability of a Saga resolved this turn. This effect can’t reduce the mana in that cost to less than one mana.
2/2
Epically Lost 3U
Instant
Choose one or both —
• The owner of target creature puts it on the top or bottom of their library.
• The owner of target historic card in a graveyard puts it on the top or bottom of their library. (Artifacts, legendaries, and Sagas are historic.)
Herald of Wisdom 3U
Enchantment Creature — Unicorn Wizard
This creature’s base power and toughness are each equal to the number of cards in your hand.
Disguise 4UU (You may cast this card face down for 3 as a 2/2 creature with ward 2. Turn it face up any time for its disguise cost.)
When this creature is turned face up, draw two cards.
*/*
Sea-Churn Serpent 4U
Creature — Serpent
5UU: Monstrosity 3. (If this creature isn’t monstrous, put three +1/+1 counters on it and it becomes monstrous.)
Monstrous creatures you control have hexproof.
Most storms pass. Some are tended by Zeus himself. A few have far less noble keepers.
4/4
Stygian Draught 1B
Artifact
When this artifact enters or is put into a graveyard from the battlefield, creatures your opponents control get -1/-1 until end of turn.
The waters of the Styx have many uses, none of which are pleasant for those the waters are used on.
Bakery Braggart 2B
Creature — Unicorn Wizard
Magecraft — Whenever you cast or copy an instant or sorcery spell, create a Food token. (It’s an artifact with “2, T, Sacrifice this artifact: You gain 3 life.”)
She’ll make a cake with her eyes closed… after one last glance at the cookbook.
2/2
Impetuous Suitor 2B
Creature — Pegasus Rogue
Flying
This creature can’t block
Sacrifice a Food: Return this card from your graveyard to your hand.
“They’re loud, rude, and won’t go home, but at least they’re paying customers.”
—Cup Cake
3/1
Stewing Jealousy 2B
Enchantment
Flash
Whenever an opponent draws a card except the first card they draw in each of their draw steps, put a grudge counter on this enchantment
2B, Sacrifice this enchantment: You draw X cards and each player loses X life, where X is the number of grudge counters on this enchantment.
Prophet’s Bane 5B
Creature — Horror
Flying, menace
Foretell 2BB (During your turn, you may pay 2 and exile this card from your hand face down. Cast it on a later turn for its foretell cost.)
Every divination showed nothing but darkness in Psyche’s future husband.
5/3
Partillery Drive R
Sorcery
Spree (Choose one or more additional costs.)
+1 — Vehicles target player controls become artifact creatures until end of turn.
+1R — Creatures you control get +2/+0 and gain trample and haste until end of turn.
+2 — Partillery Drive deals 2 damage to each creature target player controls.
Hippomenes Beats Atalanta 1R
Enchantment — Saga
I — Creatures you control gain haste until end of turn.
II, III — This Saga gains “Creatures you control get +1/+0.”
IV — Creatures you control get +2/+0 until end of turn. You choose which creatures block this turn and how those creatures block.
Double Team 2R
Instant
If casting this spell causes a triggered ability of a permanent you control to trigger, that ability triggers an additional time.
Double target creature’s power until end of turn.
Pinkie had always worked best in a group.
Flavortown Emissary 3R
Creature — Pony Advisor
Whenever you cast a multicolored spell, this creature deals 1 damage to each opponent for each of that spell’s colors.
“Let’s really spice this up!”
3/2
Crash the Sun XRR
Sorcery
Crash the Sun deals X damage to each creature. Those creatures lose indestructible until end of turn. If a creature dealt damage this way would die this turn, exile it instead.
“I told you I made it look easy.”
—Helios, god of the sun
Augmented Beetle 1G
Creature — Insect
This creature enters with a +1/+1 counter on it.
Whenever this creature becomes the target of a spell, double the number of +1/+1 counters on it.
Some thrive in the spotlight, others in the magnifying glass.
0/0
Lotus Eater 1G
Creature — Pony
T, Sacrifice a permanent with a mana ability: Put a +1/+1 counter on this creature.
T: Add X mana of any one color, where X is the number of counters on this creature.
Stay long enough in their lands and you’ll forget you’ve been anywhere else.
1/1
Precise Measurements 1G
Instant
You gain 2 life. Create a 0/0 green and blue Fractal creature token, then put X +1/+1 counters on it, where X is the amount of life you gained this turn.
Most bakers don’t use transplanar integrals in their recipes. Most bakers aren’t Pinkie Pie.
Cupcake Spiders 2G
Creature — Spider
Reach
When this creature enters, each player creates a Food token.
Whenever a player gains life, put a +1/+1 counter on this creature.
Mold is far from a baker’s only enemy.
2/3
Psyche’s Labors of Love 2G
Enchantment — Saga
(As this Saga enters and after your draw step, add a lore counter. Sacrifice after III.)
I — Search your library for a basic land card, put it onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle.
II — Distribute three +1/+1 counters among creatures you control.
III — You gain life equal to the greatest power among creatures you control.
Lotus Macaron 0
Artifact — Food
2, T, Exile this artifact: You gain 3 life, then add X mana of any one color, where X is the amount of life you gained this turn.
The temptation of such power and flavor have claimed many desperate souls.
Filcher Gull 1UB
Creature — Bird Pirate
Flying
When this creature enters, look at target opponent’s hand. You may exile an artifact card from that hand until this creature leaves the battlefield. You may play that card for as long as it remains exiled, and mana of any type can be spent to cast it. If you don’t exile a card this way, put a +1/+1 counter on this creature.
2/1
Discord, Surprise Ending 1BR
Legendary Planeswalker — Discord
+1: Mill three cards, then return a creature card at random from your graveyard to your hand.
-2: Flip a coin. If you win the flip, target player sacrifices a creature of your choice. Otherwise, they sacrifice a creature of their choice.
-7: Put all creatures from all graveyards onto the battlefield under your control. They gain haste. Exile them at the beginning of the next end step.
3
Spring-Leashed Bugbear 1BG
Creature — Insect Bear
Flying, deathtouch
Escape — 4BG, Exile four other cards from your graveyard. (You may cast this card from your graveyard for its escape cost.)
This creature escapes with three +1/+1 counters on it.
Persephone lets her menagerie roam freely, knowing they’ll return in time.
2/2
Phaethon’s Wild Ride 2UR
Enchantment — Saga
I — Draw two cards, then discard a card.
II — Tap all creatures target player controls. Put a stun counter on each of those creatures.
III — This Saga deals 4 damage to each tapped creature.
Scylla, Sailors’ Bane 2UR
Legendary Creature — Nymph Horror
Partner with Charybdis, Sea Swallower
Ward 2
At the beginning of each opponent’s end step, if that player didn’t cast a spell this turn, that player mills two cards, then Scylla deals damage to them equal to the number of different mana values among cards in their graveyard.
3/4
Aphrodite, God of Love 2RG
Legendary Enchantment Creature — God
Indestructible
As long as your devotion to red and green is less than seven, Aphrodite isn’t a creature.
At the beginning of combat on your turn, gain control of up to X target creatures until end of turn, where X is one plus the number of opponents who control fewer lands than you. Untap those creatures. They gain haste until end of turn.
5/5
Arachne’s Hubris 3WU
Enchantment — Saga
I — Each player shuffles their hand into their library, then draws seven cards.
II — Each player may put an artifact or enchantment card from their hand onto the battlefield.
III — Destroy all other artifacts and enchantments except those with the greatest mana value.
Charybdis, Sea Swallower 3UB
Legendary Creature — Leviathan
Partner with Scylla, Sailors’ Bane (When this creature enters, target player may put Scylla into their hand from their library, then shuffle.)
Ward 2
Whenever an opponent casts a spell, that player loses life and mills cards equal to that spell’s mana value.
3/5
Particularly the fact that they chose to do that when Equestria has a perfectly good actual analogue for Aphrodite. (There would be a Cadance emote here, but the last time they updated the emotes was before her debut.
)
The Odyssey is so meandering and unhinged that there's nothing he can think of to improve upon it. And yes, Fluttercord is definitely canon to this comic.
Stupid Complicated Game Alert: Trample can get over the Swaddling Flock (the 1 damage is prevented, but the rest still goes to face), but not even full-on "can't be blocked" will stop something from being blocked by something that entered the battlefield blocking it.
Stupid Complicated Game Alert: If you flip over Herald of Wisdom while your hand is empty, which is not unlikely given that 6 mana is on the upper edge of costs people actually bother to pay, she will die as a state-based action before her triggered ability can save her. You'll still draw the cards, but that normally costs 2U so 4UU and a creature isn't it chief.
Inside Baseball Alert: Remember those Theros sets FoME mentioned? Their "Heroic" ability word is a triggered ability that triggers when their controller targets them with a spell. What it actually does from there varies because it's an ability word and not a keyword, but Double Team is clearly meant to be used specifically with them.
Stupid Complicated Game Alert: You can "gain control" of creatures you already control, if you just want to untap them and/or give them haste. Yes, this fact has been used for infinites.
Inside Baseball Alert: As FoME implied in the summary, "between Scylla and Charybdis" is the Greek equivalent of "between a rock and a hard place" in reference to the Odyssey. The fact that they collectively mill and damage opponents no matter what happens is likewise.
I didn't realize this had been released yet, so I had to hunt it down and read it immediately. As a big fan of the classical epics, I can't deny the question of fidelity to the original does irk me a bit. All these stories stand out for being very sanitized from the originals, and for just conflating all of Greek mythology by sticking in stories that weren't even in The Odyssey. But there's no denying that was a very fun read and the art was beautiful.
Not how I would have done it. But very good nonetheless.
I was surprised and delighted by this one. Surprised that I was delighted, I mean. Lots of fun and oddly satisfying.
Not quite, he makes non-speaking cameos in "Equestria Games" and "Princess Spike". But nine years is still a hell of a long time!
The artstyle variety of the tales is probably my personal favourite thing here, but honestly, this was a blast from start to finish. It does make me want to go back to the Odyssey (it's been a while, let's put it that way), but the jokes largely don't feel forced, the narrative doesn't feel cheapened even as it's avoiding the traditional narrative arc in parts (as it should, that's part of the appeal relative to modern myths: the bones of a character arc without forcing it down our throats).
I don't have the energy for more thoughts right now, but whatever I'm moderately enjoyed the odd recent comic, this is the first in at least several years that's actually been consistently entertaining and fun. And the odd weirdness of it makes it all the more magnetic. Considering I've found the prior Classics Reimagined comics to be largely mildly diverting, on either the good or the tedious side, that's much appreciated.
Also, not sure why they opted to publish is as one comic when it's the perfect length for a four-parter (the G5 comics truncating up off the generation ending shouldn't apply to this, no?). Possibly to work out the schedule/pay grades for the guests artists doing their tales around Ayoub's art for the present-day fifty-four, which might prove impossible under IDW schedules were it split at each 20-page mark.
In any case, I think this works better read in one go rather than across four months, despite being based on an episodic story, so this strengths it.
Huh. A Classics Reimagined comic starring Pinkie that doesn't crowbar in shipping with Cheese?! Didn't see that coming, but I'm certainly not complaining! Heck, I think it'd be a breath of fresh air even if I wasn't sick to death, zombification and millennial decay of the pairing.
Admittedly, the lack of that makes the role of Odysseus a very weird fit for Pinkie, but hey, it works damn well, all told.
Also, I kinda think that Rainbow Dash might have, shall we say, made an editorial mandate that, in her story, the Wonderbolts had to race for the privelage of her joining the team rather than vice versa.
Admittedly, some of the other stories' insertion had a whiff of "subpar clip show" about them (obviously, it's not, but it's evocative of that atmosphere) and, while I get Fluttershy and Discord's roles, I... would have preferred it to be made clear they're not actually married*, but overall, definitely a win
*Yes, they could just be friends, but given how forceful the comic was in asserting that for all non-writer-approved pairings, that disclaimer's absence has implications that I'm unsure were accidental. Though I freely admit that's probably just me being paranoid.