We Were Born to Step into the Storm · 10:41am Oct 11th, 2024
My father, now retired, was a veterinarian for most of his life, but he didn't run a private clinic. He was a government worker -- a civil servant -- working within the government of Aragón's Ministry of Animal Husbandry and Agriculture.
That was pretty cool! My father was a health inspector, making sure that the food that makes it to store shelves is up to code, on top of treating animals and all that stuff that veterinarians do. Getting that job means that he, like me, had to study and pass special exams to qualify for his job; part of why he agreed to finance my judge studies for so many fucking years is because he went through the same and, to put it bluntly, Got It. He was like yeah nah do that. Yeah it'll suck but it pays off. Go for it.
That said, my father wasn't the only veterinarian I know; he grew up with two childhood friends that accompanied him through preschool, primary school, highschool, and college. They all studied the same things to follow the same path in life, like some kind of human Cutie Mark Crusaders [1], which means the other two guys also had to go through the fucking wringer and study for the Government Veterinarian exam.
[1] If you're wondering, my dad is Sweetie Belle.
I'm telling you this because through all my life, right, my father has been complaining about his friends, in that way that friends complain about each other. One of his buddies -- Scootaloo, if you're wondering again -- would not shut the fuck up once he passed the big exams. "I'm a Veterinarian, actually," is how he started and ended every goddamn conversation, regardless of context. "I work for the Government, you know? So I'm in the right and you're in the wrong. I'm smarter." Every single time.
Pissed off my dad so much, man. Like, Scoots, why the fuck do you keep bringing it up. We're veterinarians. You cannot appeal to your own authority when you're a fucking veterinarian. What the fuck you gonna do? Castrate their cat? Euthanize their dog? Man. Shut your mouth. Oh my God.
In other words: I have been preparing for this moment all my life. I have one mission, and one mission only, and that is to not bring up that I'm a judge, ever. I cannot be like that. The moment I go "um, actually, I'm a Ju-" I will be shot with tranquilizers by a team of hidden snipers and dragged off to sea. If you see me bring this shit up in Fimfic, unless context absolutely demands I say it (for example, if I'm directly asked what I do for a living, or if I'm specifically blogging about my experiences in Judge School), call me the FUCK out.
Anyway, hi, y'all, I'm back. Did you miss me? I missed you. I've sorta recovered from the exams! It's taken a couple weeks, which is insane to me. Once I passed I didn't immediately relax -- rather, the neuroticism shifted focus. I spent easily ten days obsessing over the idea that they wouldn't let me into Judge School because of some obscure bureaucratic mishap.
I never picked up my university degree after graduating. Like, the big piece of paper signed by the king that says I graduated from uni. Is that going to be an issue? Oh my God, what if they demand that and they don't admit any other proof that I'm a law graduate? What if they kick me out. What if I'm not a law graduate anymore? Can they do that? Can they just take away my degree? Oh God. Oh God.
I'm shitting you not: I got so paranoid I phoned my university, and then I phoned the highest judicial authority in the country -- the General Council of the Judiciary -- to be like. Hi hey hello. Are you angry at me? Please don't be angry at me.
A couple pleasant conversations later (and once I picked up my degree after this many years) it finally settled in, little by little, that I had made it. That's when I finally started relaxing, started sleeping, and all that. I feel much more human now, and looking back, what the utter fuck was I thinking, right? Like. No, if you go to the classes and do the exams and pay tuition and get the scholarships, they cannot take your degree away, Ara. That's not how that works. But, whatever -- anxiety turns you into an idiot, you kinda gotta live with that.
The current situation I'm in is, essentially, some long vacation. The judge exams are still going on (I got summoned on the literal first possible day) and they will go on till november 27th. This means that until the start of December I can't do anything regarding Judge School [2], and even then, it's likely classes won't start till January. Then I'll have to go to Judge School and that'll be a whole lot of wacky adventures, and I'll have work to do and I'll get a Master's and I'll be busy again.
[2] Can we stop here a moment and, once again, contemplate Judge School together? It's an entire school where every teacher and student is a judge. They give us the black robes and everything. It's situated in the City of Justice, within Barcelona, and it's just. It's so delightful. It's so animesque. We go to our lil judge classes and then halfway through the morning they stop so we have judge recess, and we play judge football. I love it.
Incidentally, by becoming a judge, I'm supposed to be completely independent from politics (other than like, voting and shit). Judges are traditionally apolitical. This means I'm going to stick out like a sore thumb, cause ninety nine percent of apolitical rich folks are just so right wing they don't even see politics anymore, and oh hoh hoh. Hoh hoh hoh. Oh I'm going to get into so many Situations.
Until then, though!!! Hi!!! I'm back!!!!! I've got free time!!!!! That's mostly what this blog is actually about; everything up till now was just me having fun. I'm such a rascal.
Anyway -- I'm drawing comics again! The new one is already started, and I went through the exact same process I go through every time ("Man yeah this has a couple good jokes but I don't know if there's enough plot to fill up an entire comic. I might have to add a third storyline to make it so it reaches 100 panels. Oh wait i'm 20 panels in and I'm just halfway through the intro. Whoops. 150 panels minimum, looks like. Lol.") so look forward to that!
Incidentally, if you want a shoutout for next comic, Patreon's right here. I have completely emptied my savings with the trip to Madrid to take the exams, and I won't start earning money till Judge School starts, so uh. Like don't feel FORCED or anything, but y'know, if you feel like it, that's where the patreon is. Ko-fi blahblahblah. Seriously, check the shoutouts at the end of my comics and if you want one, it's 10 to 20 bucks a pop, it's a good deal.
So, that's a thing to look forward to! I have high hopes in this next comic; see if it's the best I've done yet. It's very ambitious, at least.
On top of that -- I'm reading again, which is the thing I missed the most when the studies ate me alive and I couldn't afford doing it anymore. I finished The Road by Cormac McCarthy, and I loved it so much I'm now reading Blood Meridian. Fucking incredible. Trascendental literature, Jesus Christ. So idiosyncratic you might fucking hate it or you might fucking love it; there's no middle ground. Thoroughly recommend at least giving it a try. Start with The Road.
I also finished The Name of the Rose, by Umberto Eco. Again, one of the best books ever, though probably not the best by Eco, because it's his best-selling one, and authors like him get better the less mainstream they get. Mind: Name of the Rose is about the politics within the Catholic Church in the early 1300, and this is, I cannot stress this enough, a mainstream book by Eco standards. This is a best-seller. Motherfucker wrote about the bullshit the Franciscans went through that year, and it is so readable that you come out of the book going, "God, I want him to try something obscure next." Umberto Eco was a proper erudite. Place him next to William of Ockham in the annals of history.
Another glowing recommendation then! I keep thinking that I need to do like, a big blog where I talk about all these classics I'm reading and loving, but I have no clue if that's appealing in the slightest. Ultimately, people follow me for my humor, not for my opinions on literature. Also, while these books are undeniably incredible, none have quite reconfigured my brain chemistry the same way Moby Dick did, so I don't know. We'll see, we'll see.
That ain't all I've been reading, though. Horizon wrote a whole ass book I had to stop reading cause the exams swallowed me whole; it's next in the list after Blood Meridian. Just the intro sucked me in, cause Horizon knows how to bloody structure a story, and jesus does it show. I cannot stress this enough: holistically, intrisically, I do not care about Ember or Thorax. Horizon wrote a book about them both and I got hooked. I don't even read fanfic anymore, man. Give this one a look.
While we're at it; In the Latent Space, by Altruist Artist, is what happens when a high concept meets esoteric execution. Good stories are propped up by a great idea or excellent writing; this one is a rare case where both are so brilliant they fight to eclipse each other.
"There's writing in every word", was the only way I could describe it, after giving it ample thought. This story is the brainchild of massive talent and directed, concentrated, superb effort. For fuck's sake, it's less than 3k words, because Fimfic's word counter is borked in that story. Stop reading this stupid blog and check it out, then leave a comment. Let's reward quality for once.
And, while we're talking of rewarding quality -- John Keats was called the Poet's poet (in English; in Spanish, I'd say that'd be Pablo Neruda) because like. Yeah, the wider public might not be super super familiar with him, but the ones that are into poetry to an almost obsessive, dangerous degree, tend to consider him the GOAT. Within Fimfic there's a couple writers like that, but in my personal ranking, like, man. Botched Lobotomy. Ough.
Anyway, they published Luna Luna Luna Luna recently. It's so experimental a story that it got unpublished from the site by the mods, and had to be republished as a blog series. This is pushing storytelling to elevate the art form past its own formatting; it's a mixture of a caligram and a textual song, if that makes sense?
It's wild and you gotta pay attention to it. I spent a while trying to analyze what I had taken from it in the comments, after reading it twice, and you know what? Rewarding as hell.
I don't usually recommend fanfics, as y'all already know; this is mostly because I don't read many fics. I'm a bad reader! These three don't feel quite like fanfics to me, though, which is why I went ah fuck it I'm just bloggin'. I'm just talking about stuff I like. I'm going to randomly link shit without telling anyone. Here's hoping the three authors I linked aren't creeped out by me bringing them up, I guess. Lol. Lmao even.
Anyway -- modern art is not "easy" to consume, in that it isn't mindless. For the record, no art should be mindless -- there is thought behind every element of every artwork, even if the artist is doing it subconsciously. I'm a firm believer in thinking and talking about art after consuming it, so you can sort out your own thoughts, and discover what you undertsand from it.
That said, some pieces of art -- the ones that are more traditional, or at least the ones that conform to a more orthodox form -- can be appreciated in multiple levels. To give an already-cited example: The Name of the Rose can be read as just a murder mystery with some fun lil political elements. Blood Meridian uses obscurity and density as a means to build atmosphere. You can enjoy the former more lightly, or put your entire attention and focus into it, and what you get from it will be proportional to the effort. But the latter, that one does not accept this kind of reading. You either spend your entire brainpower in experiencing Blood Meridian, or you straight up will not like it.
Some pieces of art do not meet you halfway. You need to put in the legwork, because any degree of compromise from the author will destroy the vision. This doesn't make it better or worse than more mainstream art; it just neccessitates a more experience reader. Blood Meridian is like that. So is Luna Luna Luna Luna. Since the latter is so short -- just 1000 words -- I recommend reading it, trying to understand what it's doing, reading the comments (check out mine in the blog I posted! It's one of many, but I'm the writer of this blog, and also an egotist!) and then reading Luna Luna Luna Luna again.
You might not get it; that's fine. You might not understand cubism the first time you look at it; that's also fine. But there's a certain beauty in modern art, in understanding that which is at first inscrutable -- it is a form of democratization of the artistic vision, a way to enjoy life and make art evolve past the obvious. People keep saying "it's not for everybody"; I heartily disagree. I think it's just a skill that needs to be nurtured a little, and often we lack the tools to properly do it.
With age, I'm becoming more and more pedantic; I'm aware. I try not to! I get that it can be annoying to have someone namedrop Kapuściński in conversation and then feign surprise when you go "wait, who?" [3]. It's so needlessly smug. It's so condescending. I hate it. "Oh, by the way, I'm a juuuuudge, you know?"
[3] When I was in university, a guy transferred in halfway through our second year, and I couldn't stand it. He was very very pedantic, and constantly acted like he was smarter than anyone else. I tried to befriend him and dude shot me down, assuming I was his inferior. Insufferable old money kinda guy, right?
Anyway, one day he brought a book to class and looked at it in between lectures. I saw that, and, trying to be nice, I asked what he was reading -- and he, hoity toity motherfucker, went "You've probably never heard of it."
So I looked at the cover, and read the title aloud. "Christ with a Rifle on his Shoulder." Oh, that's just Kapuściński. Yeah he's pretty good!
Christ, the look on his face. He got angry. Was like, "You know him?" all offended. I went, dude. It's Kapuściński. Who the fuck doesn't know Kapuściński. He's the last great journalist. I liked The Shadow of the Sun better, by the way.
Let me make this clear: nobody knows who Kapuściński is. I only know of him because my father loves the guy and owns every book. I had never read The Shadow of the Sun, still haven't -- though I've read other books by him and he's GREAT -- and I just acted that way because I hated this idiot guy. Fuck him. Do read Kapuściński though.
But I do enjoy art a lot, and I want other people to enjoy it. I'm very self conscious about it; I don't like coming off as a snob, but there's an inherent snobbery in recommending stuff to people. It's doubly bad when I know that I'm not actually that knowledgeable; if any actual erudite reads what I write, they'll rightfully call out the fact I exclusively talk mainstream bullshit then act like it's obscure. Like, dude, it's Keats. Keats. You study Keats in highschool. Get off your high horse lol.
Fair! I agree. I am not trying to be obscure though, so you get off your high horse, imaginary critic. Art is art; good art is good art. This blog is a plea to try new things, even if they're intimidating, because they're intimidating. There's no need for you to just, dedicate your entire personality to consume a book, of course; not everything is Moby Dick. But what the hell. Give Cormac McCarthy a read. Check out Luna Luna Luna Luna. Live a little! Grow! Join me in the dark side!!!
And join my Patreon! It helps with the motivation. I hope I get the next comic done asap, but it's gonna take a lil bit of time. I finished panel 20 yesterday, at time of writing; here's to the other uhh 130 panels. Wooo. Wooo hooo.
I never replied to the comments that congratulated me on passing my judge exam, because there were so many, and I didn' t know what to say? But just know, I read them all, and they were incredibly sweet. Thanks, y'all. For real.
And now you have me wondering if you have an incredibly fashionable uncle.
In any case, while I knew you've been easing back into the concept of having free time, it's great to see some of the tangible results in blog form (i.e. you having enough free time and mental energy to write one in greater depth.) Best of luck in Judge School. I will choose to believe there's a Judge Sorting Hat that has actually been there for centuries and the Spanish judicial system hasn't sued Rowling simply because they don't want that information getting out to the public.
And yes, I am now ready to respond to "I'm a judge by the way" with "But are you a veterinarian?"
As good a read as ever, bud! Info I already mostly knew, but it gains a new light from this after-the-fact reflection. And the split between works that can be appreciated at different levels of focus and depth, versus those that are an all-or-nothing proposition… well, that's very true. Your mention again of The Road is tempting me to dig up my secondary school copy for another read too.
AltruistArtist has been on an absolute roll since joining the site last Autumn; mostly writing for contests, placing in nearly all of them, and maintaining a ridiculously high bar of quality.
Regarding Luna Luna Luna Luna, while I could get some of it, most of it still slips me by after several readings. At least, beyond absorbing what others saying in the comments and being able to spot that, I can do that no problem. But I can at least see that there's a lot to it, even if it mostly just makes my head spin.
Can't wait to hear about all the right wing feathers you inevitably ruffle.
Noted. It would be an excellent opportunity to add that you're also a judge who thought that raspberries were unripe blackberries.
In my mind, this guy looks like Draco Malfoy and I can't be convinced otherwise.
would not have it any other way :D
I mean, I'm pretty sure you weren't anxious when you tried to fistfight a lamppost.
(A disapproving look from your father probably matters)
I'm pretty sure I stole the joke about his (ponysona's) special talent being winning writing contestsand I definitely stole the punchline about him being legally an undisguised changeling because he fools approximately nobody at this point.
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My preference is the time he got into a fistfight with an inanimate, fist-not-having object and lost, but you do you.
Scott Pilgrim, because he's clearly a hipster. (Or split the difference and go Gideon Graves)
ok, but we get to call you "your honor". Deal?
I really needed a “try art” exhortation today. Thank you.
OMFG!!! You're reading Blood Meridian because THE JUDGE aren't you?! Remember, he is NOT A ROLE MODEL!!!
But seriously, I love most McCarthy's stuff and adored his border trilogy. I grew up on the border (in another age) and he gets the "vibe" better than any other writer. The Road was incredibly well written but made me want to slit my own throat (or somebody else's; I'm not picky), so it's not one I recommend to people.
Foucault's Pendulum is my favorite of Eco's. But Name is a banger of a read. Hey... have you read Arturo Pérez-Reverte's stuff? I think he's who Dan Brown wants to be when he grows up. So... yeah, I find your thoughts on the books you're reading to be not the reason I follow you, but fascinating anyway.
I like your Speak Not of the Judge vow. I have a friend who was an aspiring writer (now a much published one) who constantly ran into some variation of the "Oh? What have you published?" phrase from pros before she sold her first book. She vowed never to do that to anyone, and has kept that vow after several interminable series, as far as I know.
Same. First time I was totally hooked by a chapter title: Werewolf Mafia. Bought the book! Am eagerly awaiting his continuation of Hard Reset 2: Reset Harder.
I am falling farther and farther behind on fanfic I want to read because of real-world stuff, and when I collapse after work, I go for stuff I know is rewarding. But every once in a while, I will grab a short story and... Luna Luna Luna Luna was fascinating. It held my attention in a way that a lot of the 1000 Words fics failed to do. Before reading it, if someone had described it to me, I would have rolled my eyes. Now, I've read through it a couple of times.
I'd never heard of Kapuściński. But now I have, and I'm going to go read The Shadow of the Sun, just so that I can say I've read something that Aragon hasn't. Please continue to recommend good reads or flavors of ice cream, or whatever.
EDIT: Oh carp, I had to buy Travels with Herodotus too, because Herodotus was my first travel writer crush, and using him as a mirror to the author's own experiences seems like a magnificent idea.
Judge Aragon... and the City of Justice? I feel like that's the title and subtitle of a Judge Dredd spin-off. Now, I don't believe Barcelona has a Mega City or a post-apocalyptic population, but stranger things have happened and I admit to not following every bit of news. Are you familiar with Judge Dredd?
GAVDEAMVS FVCKING IGITVR! Woohoo, congratulations! May you always have the strength and wisdom to cause the good kind of trouble!
And thanks for this story! It's great but also weird 'cause it seems your family is a lot like mine: my dad and my grandpa had like six college degrees between them and my dad said they joked that they'd just toss them all in a cardboard box in the closet.
My dad also said "the higher up you go, the less attention you pay." By this he meant that he went to his graduation ceremony to get his Bachelor's degree, but he picked up his Master's at the records office because he was already knee-deep in his doctoral program. Then he just had them mail him his PhD because he already was on his way across the country to take a job.
And don't get me started on my mom because she was the most unassuming badass you ever met.
But again: congratulations! May you always love the good fight and may you always find people you love to fight alongside you.
Congradulations for going to judge school.
I've read the Rode, and I can't "picture it" in my head with out grey tones or sepia color.
All that work to pass extremely hard exams and you still have to go to school? That sucks, hopefully the hard part is over. I am curious if judges in Spain are like, allowed to have Patreons and make and publish comics in their free time, hope you're still allowed to do all that fun stuff once you're a full-time judge.
Twilighting.
I look forward to it.
If you actually read the Harry Potter books, you'll realize this is what happened to Rowling. Like, godsdamn is that a series about uncritically maintaining a status quo that is clearly terrible if you thought about it for ten seconds.
Definitely going to have to check out Luna Luna Luna Luna. I love Modernist and avant garde work, even trying my hand at writing a bit.
I somehow missed that you'd passed your exams, so a belated Congratulations!
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Dude, Herodotus was the first book of his I read and it's to this day my favorite; one hundred percent start with that one. It is genuinely so good it barely feels real. if you've read Herodotus yourself, this is double the recommendation!
Re: Arturo Pérez Reverte, the curse of being Spanish is knowing the man's personality -- and in fact he did multiple symposiums at my sister's university degree, so my family has a surprisingly "close" relationship with him. I own a lot of his books, I've mostly read his Alatriste novels, and while he absolutely writes super super well, he's such an asshole I can't enjoy him properly nowadays. In a couple decades, when he dies, I'll probably read his oeuvre and feel less annoyed. Seriously he's such a sexist piece of shit IRL, it's insane.
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Yeah, nah, Judge School is famously way easier than the exams to get there in the first place. They give you a very easy time cause by passing the first exams you show you have it in you already, so in comparison, it's a walk in the park. Lil bit of work, sure, but far less than before, and on top of that they pay me while I go there, so it's all upsides.
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That's a shame about Reverte, but not too surprising. Golden idols with feet of clay are all too common nowadays.
Herodotus is now cued up for my next read!
Proof that Aragon is the anti-Bad Horse.