Ghost Mike's Ponyfic Review Monday Musings #126 · 5:00pm September 30th
In the last two months, animatics of four Season Two FiM episodes have been posted online by a storyboard artist who worked on them, Raven Molisee (as one of two or four board artists). Presumably it’s a mixture of being for her showreel, though the uploads lack any edits to point out what parts she boarded, even if one can spot when the drawing style shifts. Regardless, it’s pretty cool, I think, to have production history legally available like this.
I will say, watching FiM episodes in animatic form is an interesting experience, and probably not of interest for everyone: unlike deleted scenes on DVD and such, they’re only meant for internal review, so on top of a constant minute-second-frame timer at the top, plus board filenames in the corner (though the latter is sometimes in special features deleted scenes), they tend to totally lack sound effects, and temp music is usually only added for lengthy non-dialogue moments at most (whereas released deleted scenes usually splice and repurpose parts of the film's score to make it hold the attention of a casual viewer). That, coupled with it being a bunch of still frames changing only to show the key points of action, can leave them feeling slow and barren relative to the episodes as we know them. At least, if using them purely as a watching experience and substitute for the episode.
Of course, there are many other ways to look at them. One of the chief delights is seeing our loveable ponies being drawn by hand, and thus being far more expressive and squishy. The work gotten out of Flash on this show remains a miracle, and is plenty immersive in isolation, but it cannot help but feel rigid when looked at side-by-side (one need only compare many of the facial expressions and movements in the animatic of "Apples to the Core" previewed at San Diego Comic Con 2013 to the final animation). Obviously the shift in board artist styles scene-by-scene means an episode could never just slavishly copy them (the switch to Toon Boom certainly led to many off facial expression of Season Nine…), but it is one of the first thing likely to leap out to anyone watching these. There is also the matter of seeing moments later changed, presumably off feedback, though that will generally only hold interest of those with a working memory of the final episode, or comparing them side-by-side.
The other is seeing cut moments that didn't make the final episode, always a point of interest (I still plan to publish my notes on cut bits from the Season Four/Five scripts sometime, folks – well, the highlights, anyway ). Three years ago, one of the board artists on "To Where and Back Again - Part 2" (who has worked up as high as feature films like Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs) published an animatic over four minutes longer than the final episode (EqD article, his website, the pdf panel-by-panel breakdown of his scenes – very informative for those wanting to work in the field, and this one has an extension of the ending past where the animatic and episode cut off, plus a scene from Part 1 – and the animatic itself). Possibly I might publish my notes from three years on that sometime, but alongside lots of extra visual and dialogue bits throughout that got snipped, it includes a whole cut scene outside the hive, shortened to the quartet sneaking past some guards silently in the final cut.
Now, that animatic is what's known as a Slug Polish; itself a complex term for those not in the industry, but simplified, 'slugging' is the technical process of putting the board files together with the dialogue and timing them so it can actually be watched. As far as I can tell, this is the initial version Hasbro, Discovery Family and S&P look at to give feedback and notes – possibly this gets trimmed down even before that, to get closer to the required 22-minute runtime (some animatic feedback docs have had "you cut this? Please put it back in" moments).
These new ones, on the other hand, are Locked Cuts, three of them are not even a minute longer than the raw 22:15 time of a finished episode (given to the tv networks, these leave 5-second gaps at each ad break for easiness of editing, while home media & streaming shorten these to get the 22:05 time we know far better). Having watched them casually, I can stress there are virtually no cut moments, just slacker pacing snugged up in the animation process (even for professionals, it's not always easy to gauge the timing required for a movement until you're animating it). So while the animatics for "Lesson Zero" (EqD, direct video), "A Canterlot Wedding - Part 1" (EqD, direct video) and "Secret of My Excess" (EqD, direct video) are a fun watch (if nothing else, they show how sturdy a base the voice performances of the cast give the artists to work from), they are, once you account for some slower beats, basically dead matches to the final episode.
The fourth one, for "A Canterlot Wedding - Part 2" (EqD, video is on Vimeo for this one and directly viewable there) intrigued me, because it was over 2-and-a-quarter minutes longer. Surely it would have some interesting nuggets (yes, I've read the script, but it's always cooler to see what such cuts would have looked like, not just read them). So, as opposed to just watching in isolation, I queued up the official MLP YouTube channel upload of the episode, and watched them side-by-side, pausing and taking notes.
…In the end, it wasn't a very productive five hours of my life. After checking frame-by-frame in the first scene in the caves, and finding the dialogue parts were identical and only some visual beats were longer (on a schedule this short, if they don't need to, the animators have little reason to not adhere to the provided timing), I quickly decided it was taking too long, and decided to only check in thirty-second chunks, going back to look proper only if I noticed a cut moment of interest, and if not, just chalking it up to "tightening up the pace via frame trimming". Being able to skip by the songs, as they are already timed to music and can't be muddled with easily, was a mild bonus.
So, I'll settle with sharing every moment of interest once you ignore barely-noticeable frame trimming. It seems this animatic, totally lacking in any dialogue not in the final episode (indeed, two lines are missing), was longer than the others only because of the pronounced focus on action, what with the changelings and all. Timestamps for the animatic, if you want to see any of these moments yourself, refer to the onscreen timer which starts 20 seconds in, not the video timer.
[Incidentally, frame trimming is a very delicate process – to those not versed in an animation workflow, it's easy to assume something is slow before music and full movement is added, thus cutting some frames, only to make it look jumpy in the final cut. Indeed, I noticed this slip happening twice, first in removing Twilight's pause before she responds "A likely story!" (final episode; 03:53:11 in animatic), second in Cadance backing off at Chrysalis threatening to send her back to the caves (final episode, 09:46:08 in animatic). Being able to judge from an animatic how it will look when animated is a specialised skill, after all, even though, as we know these episodes in their final form, it's easy for us to mentally fill in the blanks.]
- The recap is 19 seconds longer, mostly from Applejack congratulating Twilight and her brushing it off, a snip of her frustration with the others not noticing Cadance's behaviour at the outdoor café, and shortening her spying on Shining being put under a spell.
- Twilight blasting crystals in desperation is shortened by 4:21 off the beam ricocheting for less and shortening a pan of her blasting consecutive crystals. 3:13-3:16
- Fake-Cadance, after saying “why does she have to ruin my special day?” peeks out from her foreleg shielding her eyes to see if her plea is being bought. 7:47
- Chrysalis revealing herself is longer in the animatic by nearly 11 seconds. She grimaces before hunching over, Shining gets a dazed but notable reaction, her wings flex in before reverting to membrane, we see the horn changing, many shots are longer for dramatic tension, etc. Personally, some of these beats do seem a bit protracted, though it was obviously only shortened so much for the episode being overlong. This is also where the first use of temp music happens, this being from The Dark Knight 8:35-9:07
- Chrysalis' voice does not yet have any echo or filter effects applied. Possibly Hasbro feedback to make her Otherness more obviously for the kids in their eyes?
- Celestia and Chrysalis' beam battle is shortened up by 8 seconds, mostly by having the beam close in on Celestia much faster (so, she didn't lose so easily in the animatic). Also, Celestia smirks when it looks like she was about to win, while in the final episode she has her usual determined frown. Possibly a Hasbro or S&P content concern, to not make her look 'mean'? Obviously we would have for sure kept such a beat! 10:50-11:11
- In the animatic, the Mane 5 rush to the fallen Celestia before Twilight. The final episode swaps the shots. 11:18-11:22
- The Mane 5 shouting "Rarity!" when she stops to catch their dresses isn't in the animatic. Pickup, or an earlier cut restored off notes? 11:43-11:50
- The changeling breaching Canterlot was tightened up via several deleted shots as well as faster pacing. Extra ones of them bashing the shield, though we get a longer hold on them burning up as they hone in, plus the one near Twilight gathering its bearing before it snarls at her. Temp music from Pirates of the Caribbean also starts here and continued through the changeling brawl. 11:59-12:39
- The brawl against changelings loses extra shots of them becoming duplicates, but otherwise, it's just a lot of tightened beats, including making the flash frames at the end faster – surprised S&P were okay with that. The Applejack 'lings Twilight blasts at one point scream in the animatic when blasted too – safe to say that's a S&P cut! 12:43-14:50
- The final dash to the Elements loses a panning shot of the Mane 6 running across a bridge. 15:00-15:03
- A 1:04 shot of the changelings carrying Dash dropping her when Chrysalis instructs her hive to go and feed was cut. 15:53-15:55
- The scene of Cadance and Shining combining their love to blast the changelings away lasts about 9 seconds longer, half of that from the shot where they begin to rise. I raise this as it uses music very similar to that in the final episode, almost like an early demo (more likely William Anderson was just told "make it similar"), and I honestly think it works better; the final equivalent starts off with multiple instruments and a rising harmony that makes it clear its going to work right away, while that in the animatic starts off low and uncertain before rising to a melody that is less American Awesome Badass Moment then it is Heavenly Miracle. 17:56-18:59, final episode equivalent.
- Celestia’s line “You have a real wedding to put together” is missing from the animatic, she is silent as Twilight helps her up. 19:07-19:10
- Celestia’s praise of Twilight sticking to her instincts has a longer pause, in the episode after panning over from the royal couple, adding 1:13; it started too jarringly in the animatic. Rare instance of lengthening something! 21:28
- Luna is absent altogether from the episode! This was also the case in the animatic for Part 1, where her bit of taking over night watch from Celestia wasn't seen as we panned down to the café. Here, though, the timing is the same, as the camera just lingers on the Mane 6. Likely these beats were added when someone either as Hasbro or DHX pointed out her absence, thus giving rise to numerous head canons of her being asleep during the day of the invasion. 22:18
- Background cameos we're meant to notice are usually in the animatic, but the photo montage during "Love Is In Bloom" has Dash next to a snobby Canterlot background pony rather than Soarin, and Rarity was with one of the male stallion singers from "At the Gala". Guessing whoever storyboarded this part didn’t work on “Sweet and Elite”, and someone suggested putting Fancy Pants in instead for a little continuity nod. Probably director Jayson Theissen, he did add in Peewee being returned in photo montage in "Just for Sidekicks". 22:59
- "Love Is In Bloom", unlike most songs, was tightened up slightly from animatic to final, possible as much of the middle is a repeating beat anyway. The vocals don't resume over the final stretch either. The ending shot also played out slightly longer, finishing on the note from the album version, rather than, in the final episode, it fading into credit music using the show’s take on “Here Comes the Bride” (which earlier, in the animatic, was a simpler stock organ rendition). 23:05-24:12
Honestly, I'll bet Luna's absence is the most interesting thing there for all you, though the different mood for the love spell that banished the changelings off different music is my favourite. Regardless, this does show the work that can be done in tightening up an episode even when you seemingly can't cut any "beats". Personally, the final episode does feel rushed still (like many two-parters, it would be ideal if Part 1 could be slightly shorter and Part 2 slightly longer), and a few visual moments excepted, it's not down to any of the cuts here, but the writing being cramped down from the get go. "A Canterlot Wedding" was when newer characters and/or Twilight started to take over the two-parters (sure, without the collective "Rarity!" missing from the animatic, Fluttershy has no lines at all), so it's illuminating for sure.
Oh yeah, you're all technically here for Ponyfic, aren't you? Very quiet, short lot today: the first three fics are from before the series stopped nearly two months ago, and only the last two are newer. Just been the odd short fic when I feel up to it so far, so don't take this as a sign of a proper return – as mentioned, the aim now is for me to never feel pressure or obligation for this, so I will neither be doing them either semi-regularly or keeping folks updated of when they'll happen (which is every fortnight if at least five eligible fics are reviewed and ready).
Besides, I think me spending more words on the animatic discussion than the fics today is a clear sign of where my priorities lie.
This Week’s Spectral Stories:
Friendship is Magic: The Reunion by brokenimage321
Meatballs Keep Falling On My Head by Goodbye
A Tale of Two Dragons by The Blue EM2
Tearek by RainbowBob
Flank-ology by Fire Gazer the Alchemist
Weekly Word Count: 22,789 Words
Friendship is Magic: The Reunion by brokenimage321
Genre: Comedy/Drama
Mane 6, Derpy
9,499 Words
June 2021
Twenty years after the hit tv show Friendship Is Magic concluded, in anticipation of the much rumoured reboot finally getting traction and having a release date locked, the original cast are gathered for a two-hour reunion special. Here, for the first time since the show wrapped, the mares who played the Mane Six give their thoughts on it all, reveal what it was like in the set, share gossip, and disclose just what the show did for them.
Heavily influenced by the then-much-ballyhooed Friends reunion special, this fic is, tonally, rather within the wheelhouse of a lot of brokenimage321’s fics. That being, it’s very affable and friendly and light, not without drama or troubles, but very much an optimistic fic. Certainly, the nihilistic cynicism of GapJaxie’s Dressing Room series, the most well-known incarnation of the “FiM is a tv show, here’s the actual lives of the actors who play it” concept (where really, only two of the Mane Six’s actors aren’t frankly horrible ponies), is nowhere to be found in this fic. But like brokenimage’s other fics, he manages to wrangle this sunny, light, breezy outlook to feel not insubstantial, but feel like the right choice.
Indeed, it’s quite uncanny how well the fic hits the tone of these retrospective documentaries/reunions, which may not be a bonus for most folks, but it hits the good, worthwhile type. Helped by this being one real-time chat with the actors (or, at least, any “editing” isn’t obvious the way this is written), so it doesn’t feel like the “only be self-congratulatory” trap such things typically fall into either.
That means we can just delight in the details here, and there’s a bevy of unique ones. With the real-life world here lacking magic, unicorns, pegasi or fantasy creatures altogether, except lots of jabs at working around the budget and digital effects (unlike most fics of this concept, here FiM still seems to be a cult hit on a minor network rather than a ratings juggernaut), as well as some things being harder to fake then others. More surprise comes when this Applejack here is the creator and head-writer of the show, which leads to somewhat different twists on how the show was conceptualised. There are tough things this Rarity and Fluttershy especially had to deal with, and then you have more standard goofiness from this Pinkie and her two identical twins (all in showbusiness).
This is also one of those fics where the characters themselves truly, utterly believe in the show’s moral values, which comes out not just at the end and when the topic turns to the reboot, but in how some of the cast trumped over their demons and difficulties during the years of production, how they banded together, and where they all are now. With the effort brokenimage321 went to, assembling images with the actors on the rebuilt Sugarcube Corner set off recoloured vectors, it makes for quite a delightful, warm and often surprising take on the concept.
Rating: Pretty Good
Meatballs Keep Falling On My Head by Goodbye
Genre: Random
Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Twilight
1,594 Words
February 2013Listened to via Scribbler's reading
Applejack is very glad for this drought’s imminent end. Less so when instead of rain, red smudges of food normally only enjoyed by the likes of griffons fall from the skies instead, splattering the ground wherever it touches. Convinced this is some cruel prank by her “friend” Rainbow Dash, Applejack braves the food pelting outdoors to find her and give her what’s coming.
A short length like this doesn’t necessarily mean the resulting fic won’t have much to it. Theoretically, all that’s needed is a killer punchline with escalating amusing moments along the way. We do get that, structurally speaking, but it’s all rather diluted, both in the punchline (which lacks much beyond it not being Dash’s fault) and the bits along the way, with only one comment from Pinkie truly ribbing me good.
Otherwise, there’s some solid and consistent voicing from Applejack in that early-but-not-super-early show/fandom way, and that’s always worth appreciating, but this never rose about mild diversion.
Rating: Passable
A Tale of Two Dragons by The Blue EM2
Genre: Slice of Life
Smolder, Spike
1,641 Words
December 2020Reread
When Smolder’s train home for the holidays is cancelled owing to a rockslide in the badlands, it looks like she’s stranded in Ponyville for the holidays. Fortunately, she has one friend beyond her immediate group of students more than willing to keep her company.
For all the actual episodes showing Spike and Smolder together (like nearly all of the last two seasons) do bugger all for me, I do find their relationship reasonably well shown and quite sweet. So a fic of Spike being a good sport and warming Smolder up to the nicer pony ways that bit more when she’s stuck has plenty of potential to be, if very safe, still a heartwarming, probing time.
This does conceptually manage that, though it falls emotionally flat for two reasons. The short length doesn’t help, forcing it to either be a one scene affair or to basically summarise the actions and thoughts more often than not, and the latter is what this goes for. Very typical symptom of a short Jinglemas story, where the author may be strapped for the inspiration to properly flesh it out, but that doesn’t make it any more compelling.
The bigger problem is the barbaric telly style and sloppy perspective, pervasive enough that even the character dialogue feels inauthentic, to the point whether Smolder is being snarky or sincere, she doesn’t feel right, and Spike is little better.
Little bad here, but totally unremarkable fluff unless this period of the show or these characters are a soft spot.
Rating: Weak
Tearek by RainbowBob
Genre: Comedy/Random
Twilight, Tired, Spike
3,449 Words
April 2015
Twilight is aghast to find that the latest tea shop in Ponyville is owned and being run by none other than Tirek. Surely he’s up to some nefarious scheme after getting out of Tartarus? Yet he seems pleasantly nonchalant about it all, shrugging that he turned over a new leaf and got out on good behaviour. Plus the quality of his tea, as the long line will attest to. Though it does take bearing up his loud judging of his customers’ choice in tea…
I’ve barely read RainbowBob before (only one story of his in my old pre-review bookshelves that I have no recollection of reading, so I won’t trust fully the Weak rating I gave it), but I understand he was a prolific and very-highly-read author of mostly comedy one-shots from 2012-2015 (he hasn’t logged in since April 2016). If this fic is any indication, I may need to change that: this is never not obvious, but still manages to make the random bits it goes for have enough grounding that they feel right. Tirek knowing what tea everypony will most like above what they ask for is one thing: him yelling the affront of their choice in their face while swearing vengeance is another, but apparently ponies will do a lot for quality tea (there’s even a great jab at Celestia tea fics).
Along the way, we have a hilarious reason for why Tirek went evil way back when given this is his true passion, some pretty good Spike & Twilight comedic chemistry in the early going, and a nice rhythm to the bits of Twilight’s frustration throughout, all culminating in the delight of Tirek still being totally evil with the prices he charges (I’m reminded of Him working as a flapjack baker in that one Poweruff Girls episode). So, you know, there’s enough for the length, more or less, and it ends on a killer punchline too.
For what is questionably an “eh, why not?” random comedy fic, there’s enough thoughtful craft to make its bits work rather than feeling forced, which leads it to lingering longer than most of its ilk.
Rating: Pretty Good
Flank-ology by Fire Gazer the Alchemist
Genre: Comedy/Romance
Applejack, Twilight
6,606 Words
November 2015Listened to via Scribbler's reading
Applejack is woken at not even the crack of dawn to a strange request from Twilight. Seems she’s been asked to do a study on how farmwork tones ponies, and for her data gathering, she wants Applejack to be her first field subject. Which means Applejack allowing Twilight to stare at her butt. While she works. In the name of science.
For better or for worse, there are virtually no surprises in this fic (and the one big one is in such a tossed-off moment it reads as a phoney attempt to defy being totally clichéd; it could have worked given more room): Applejack is clueless as to why Twilight is blushing and so red until literal evidence is left behind, so outside of shippers, the appeal comes purely for the implications of the scenario and the potential awkwardness it promises.
I confess, I felt like I would be promised more actual humour. It’s all played straight, or as straight as this premise can be, anyway. And for better or for worse, it’s all rather tame, with the butt-staring played totally PG, so there’s little in the way of a flare up. None of this makes it bad, but coupled with circular stammering and blushing whenever Twi and Applejack interact throughout, it makes for a fic that is rather draggy when it should be filled with energy.
The depiction of Applejack, if naturally a bit dense as to Twilight’s intentions, is quite solid, neither too hard nor too soft, and especially well handled come the end. And said end also wins points for not being a “I had the same feeling too” sort of deal. Still, for all the merits, though this will satisfy its target audience (it certainly has so far), I think it falls short of its potential.
Rating: Decent
Spooky Summary of Scores:
Excellent: 0
Really Good: 0
Pretty Good: 2
Decent: 1
Passable: 1
Weak: 1
Bad: 0
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The bit begins at 2:57 (time stamping links doesn't seem to work when embedding). Prior context: The girls have spent nearly the whole half-hour episode solving Him's riddles in time or else "The Professor will pay." This starts just as they fail the final riddle. It's actually one of the better half-hour episodes in the show's fourth season which was mostly compromised of them (a longform exercise for the then-upcoming movie, no doubt), with far less obvious padding and tons of great jokes along the way. Along with a hilarious butchering of the "truth teller and liar" riddle.
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This amuses me far more than it probably should.
Also, I forgot how His voice radiates. It's a nice touch.
Love that they intended Celestia to look a little more mean/menacing in the animatic. This rendition of the confrontation between C and C truly gives some epic vibes, and I'm all up for that
Great watch. Thanks for your coverage of it, those five hours were not wasted
It strikes me that if you hadn't noticed that, I doubt I'd even have known as it's pretty much never mentioned. I guess it shows how many of the fandom's analysts had gone by 2019. Had something similar happened in 2013 I'd imagine it would have been all over the ponynet in about half an hour!
Not a huge amount to catch my attention in the fics this week, which is a slight shame since now these roundups are less common it's a bit more of an event to see one. The RainbowBob one is probably the story that most appeals, since I find the setup amusing enough that I don't need something exceptional to amuse me, just something solid and good. Possibly the AJ one as a tea-break fic, but since I'd be reading in text I wouldn't be getting the benefit of Scribbler's skills to enhance it.
I didn't catch the capital H first time around and was mightily confused for a moment, thinking you meant Tirek. Interesting crossover that would be!
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It certainly has been discussed and analyzed in places, but you’re correct in that activity was low enough that by then, if one didn’t notice it themselves, they could easily not come across others pointing it out. And even then, some people don’t see the problem: I’ve pointed it out to some with visual examples who respond that, in their opinion, I’m objectively wrong, despite the visual evidence. Which is all kinds of petty, they just need to say they don’t find it to be a problem themselves, but whatever.
Anyway, five years removed and confined to a… well, no one’s favourite season of the show, let’s put it that way (okay, obviously someone’s, but you know what I mean), it’s old hat enough by now that I don’t think on it much these days.
Indeed, yeah. I do wish the first one of these in two months was more exciting, but as fic reading for me is still very firmly locked in “occasional one when I’m free and it strikes me as an okay way to pass the time” mode, nothing lengthy or ambitious has come up yet. Part and parcel of the package, I suppose.
Honestly, I think it might work better without the audio reading, just in text form. The reading was over 50 mins long, which probably made it feel more of an endurance test than in its native format, where reading a 6.6K fic would take a little under half the time, reading speed depending.
Possibly for that reason, the character’s name does seem to be often spelt HIM, though I can’t quite tell if that’s official or just something fans have adopted on their own. It always looks a bit weird to me, but I can’t deny the reasoning.
But yeah, Tirek and Him meeting would be a thing for sure! Him is meant to be the devil, just not called such because of Standards & Practises, and Tirek is very devil-like in design and appearance, so there’s plenty of overlap.
Tirek
Tee-reck
TeareFWEHP(*GN_W(@%&HFANmy god I love it. Puns get better the worse they are, and that one is terrible.