Finished the 1st draft of the 1st chapter my original story. · 4:35am Sep 3rd, 2024
Some people here expressed interest in my comedy about a guy going to live with two mad scientists: I decided to post a link to the first draft of the first chapter. its a little rough and dialogue heavy but that's what the second draft is for.
the second chapter has our hapless protagonist being taken out to breakfast at the local greasy spoon. a restaurant that has advertisements like 'Come and feed your tapeworm today!' and 'Now no more fingernails in the pancakes!'
Thank you very much!
Taking a curious peek, though must admit I don't have the focus at the moment to give it a thorough read, been a long day, will do it tomorrow morning (sorry if rambling)
5802131
its fine. I just want an honest opinion
5802345
Sorry that it took so long, but the past week has crazy workwise for me
I enjoyed the setting and found myself intrigued and wanting to learn more (Why the mail man? No, I wouldn't touch that candy with a 11 foot pole. And Calvin must be really desperate to rent that room... also will the juggling of a live wolverine eventually come up?)
In sum, yeah, I liked it and I'd keep reading that story to see where it goes
5802832
Sponge believes that Mail Man is his sworn super hero nemesis, and in his fractured mind believes that Mail Man has shapeshifting powers which is to explain away that Mail Man looks different after he's 'defeated' (IE they change who's on that mail route.'
But I'm glad you liked it. Sponge is a super fun character to write for. I have almost the entire town and its various weird people fleshed out (Scout Troop 409 who operate like an Italian mafioso but its all little girls, The Maybe Fresh Mart which is like a grocery outlet store so everything is 2 days from expiring, Peaceful Trenches nursing home which is full of militant grandmas, Blue Shale Park which is either full of protesters protesting against protesting, or wannabe witches and the magical creatures that laugh at them depending on the time of day) so I got a lot of fun places for Calvin to go.
But now i go back to my pony stories for now.