That said, it's mostly a vanity list where I can talk about in progress stories and story ideas. Let's go!Leaving Tracks: When failure is not an option · 9:03pm Aug 21st, 2024
Failure really should be an option 
So when I was young, I was good at a lot of stuff. When I wasn't good at something, I had a very simple solution: I didn't do it. This worked because I was good at school, so no one really said anything. Honestly, I doubt anyone even noticed.
Thing is, you need to fail at stuff. Especially when you're young, I think. Because if you only ever do the things you can do easily? Well, you'll find there's a lot you can't do.
Writing had been easy for me for a long time. Now it isn't. I'm struggling, mostly because of ADHD and executive dysfunction, but there's great news! I got on Vyvanse and lemme tell you that shit is the best ADHD med I've ever been on. So I can write again, then? Maybe! I don't know!
See, writing has been hard for a very long time. And now it might be doable, but I never actually learned how to fail at things. And now when I try to do something and I fail at it, I majorly spiral into depression. And this is not an excuse not to try, because if I didn't learn how to fail as a kid, I need to learn as an adult goddamnit.
So how do I do this? Well, the simple reality is I have to force myself to do it. And who knows, it might even be easier now! But it might not be, and I need to accept that. I need it to be okay if I struggle with things. I have so much I want to do and I will never manage if I keep getting anxious every time I pull up the WIP chapter.
And I know, I know. Reframe it so that trying to write and not managing isn't failure. I've tried, it doesn't matter what I call it. Because what I feel when I can't write is 100% failure. And then depression. Always the depression...
So it's just... easier to never try. I might fail if I try, so just sink another day into Diablo IV, it'll be fine. And anyway, I'm productive in other ways! bats and I just moved and I've done a fuck ton of unpacking and shit. Plus I'm getting through school, which I'm in full time now. I've earned some relaxation time and all that.
But I also need to write. You might be thinking I don't need to, but this is a mental health necessity for me. If I don't write then I will not leave this depression funk (and wouldn't you know it, the funk makes it hard to write). And even aside from writing, it is not healthy to play Diablo IV just to be good at something, you know? I need to do things that are hard, I need to accept failure.
"Sucking at something is the first step to being sort of good at something." ~Jake the Dog.
I wrote this blog to motivate myself to try and work on writing, at least a little. We'll see if it works...
I feel a lot of this as well. Best of luck, and I believe in you!
You can do it! I know it!
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Any accusations that I started playing Diablo IV again right after this and am in fact playing it right now are entirely unfounded
Two bits of advice:
1: No writing, no gaming. Use gaming as a reward for writing, to make your brain associate the happy chemicals you get from gaming with writing. Setting goals is helpful. This has helped a lot of people with autism/adhd that I know. That kind of brain just tends to be very reward driven. Checklists can also help with that. Crossing something off a to do list just gives ALL THE HAPPY CHEMICALS.
2: If you do fail, give yourself a little consolation prize, but not the same one you'd do if you actually wrote. Maybe have a little snack, then try writing again. Or hug somebody or something, then try again. Something to get just a liiiittle bit of happy chemicals going, without being distracting or taking up too much time.
Once again, I greet you, dear Krickis. I do not know if this will help you, but I hope it will not be useless. If it seems like everything really sucks, just remember one simple thing - you're still alive. While you're alive, all is not lost and there are prospects. If something seems complicated and you're afraid of it, that's fine. Big and complicated things can sometimes be as scary as winter in the far north. However, as your work shows, it's worth it. A journey of a thousand leagues begins with a single step, and the best novel begins with a prologue. I learned one of my favorite episodes when I got over my doubts and opened the prologue to "Playing House". My heart is full of faith in you, my beloved author!
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You greatly overestimate my self control lmao, i know this is great advice but I am not going to be able to follow it
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I appreciate the support. It's hard to feel that positive about things at the moment but I know where you're coming from and you're correct in this.
Diablo IV? Please love yourself... You're worth so much more than that.
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If you struggle with self control, get a loved one to help hold you to it.
outside the drug name and Diablo edition (well, and the moving, and bats...), I could have written this journal o_o;;;
is there like... a way we can mutually get each other to write/not let failure hold us back? c_c
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I mean, it is one of my all time favorite games lmao, genuinely confused how anyone who likes the genre wouldn't like it.
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Simple: No
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I feel like this is untrue >:V
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I feel like your face is untrue!
(It's too cute, you see. Can't be real)
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gosh, stoooop!
...no, don't stop though :V