This preview has NOT been approved for all audiences. Haha! Just TRY and stop us! · 8:39am August 8th
Our Life in Heck: True Lives of Righteous Killjoys
This is Justice(3442)
And this is Justice(Helltaker)
And My name is Terezi Pylope.
The Following is true. Names and places have been changed to protect the innocent.. and also avoid this thing called “doxing”.
As many of you know, I’ve just recently got out of a bout of homelessness, punctuated by occasional jail-time, and a stint at the Oregon State Hospital. Additional details: I’m currently not allowed to drive. I’ve been set up so finding employment and other source of income is nigh impossible. And most importantly, I haven’t heard word from my daughter or any information about her state or wearabouts for over two years.
The truth must be told!
This tale will be told over many parts with people, ponies, demons, sirens, etc… who you know and adore. They will not always be happy situations.
This is before the beginning of the journey. The Zero(0) before, or perhaps, after the NU11.
And Away we go.
Sonata Dusk sighed heavily. “I can’t believe they threw us in a holding cell!”
Justice chuckled, “Again!” Grinning deviously she elbowed Sonata slightly. “Nice call adding ‘they rape people here!’”
Sonata threw her hands in front of her. “I had to add something to ‘I asked for a lawyer.’
“Hehe…” Justice looked down at her shorts. “Nice of them to cut that tight draw-string.”
“Hahahaha! They had to hold up your pants!”
“Yep! Just, like, three guys and a gal escorting someone while holding up their pants through holding.”
Justice picked up the golden dragon figure, an Asian dragon with a translucent lilac amethyst and a smokey diamond. “And you get to perch on-top of the Tai-chi on Sunset Shimmer’s sushi wagon.”
Righteousness sighed, “Do you think they’ll take us shopping?”
Justice twerked his lips and thought for a second. “Well… we’re low on a few things and there’s plenty of money on the SNAP card… Let’s ask Buck an Ear instead of Lend Lie.
Righteousness smiled. “Oh yeah, she’ll say ‘yes’ for sure.”
“Hell. We can probably go to-“ turns to face the audience “-Safeway instead of WinCo.”
Righteousness also turned to face the audience. “Yes, that’ll save her gas as we pay for groceries for everyone!”
Nods head up and down, “Indeed. Finally there will be more cans to add some God-oops-G-Damn color to the place.”
Righteousness. “Yep… lets spend the last of the money on some posters so they have more things to steel.”
Nods, “The neighbors will certainly appreciate the unexpected flee market and threats of dog related violence that might befall them.
Jasper Jail-Break Woormwood, his suit crushed velvet and his navy-blue tie well creased, strolled confidently into the courtroom. “My client is a ninny. IT’s not their fault of course. Like so many of you, their brains have been operated on repeatedly since birth.”
Buck An Ear punctuated this statement with a simple, “What?”
Barny Burns, his coat Vanilla, his bunny-like ears upright and leaning forward towards the top, and his teeth, clicked his tongue against a hole in one of his left teeth. “Whoever moved out this apartment left pictures… books… actual boxed up toys.
Trench Whitaker, trench coat, wide-brimmed black-hat-wearing chocolate lab(rador) shook his head back and forth. “I think they got reverse robbed.”
Needle Dryad Sunset, ‘Burn Life’s House Down’ t-shirt donned above red & black trunks wearing, black-jade scaled beetle, waves her-his hand forward. “No way they were in their right mind when they did this! They left posters on the wall.
Justice pointed at the defense attorney. “Alright, you should have called an ‘objection’. Because…”
Bathmat Wall hesitated and looked nervously from side to side.
Terezi groaned. “Because they’re clearly leading the witness.”
Saul Goodman threw his hands in front of him, “ ‘Leading the Witness’?!’ They were basically asking them to confess!”
Terezi grinned widely, “Confess! Confess!”
Justice added a wicked smile, “Yes! Then we can all get out of here so I can arrange for more overpriced cases were I flees my clients!”
“Huh…” Justice uttered. “Looks like Cadence arranged to have my Chrysalis story-” Looks at the audience. “-you know the one. The Mature story were Chrysalis, Shining Armor, and Cadence are having sex. – removed from FimFiction.
Google Drive
Microsoft Onedrive
And, oh look! She worked with Sollux Capacitor to take out one of my computers.
Welp! Looks like I’ll have to write more Chrysalis porn.”
“Oh Good, my EBT balance is lower than it should be.”
“I wish I could steel more things…”
“Oh Great! My EBT balance is twenty-dollars short.”
“I know! I’ll ask the government to steel for me and give me the money stolen from my enemies!”
“Diabolical…”
“Nice. My credit card company decided I needed more debt.”
“I can’t wait for that passive income from charging those people more on the credit bill roles in.”
“Oh great! My bank decided they deserved more money.”
“Oh, shit, oh god… The audits are about to hit. We need… okay… we’ll just skim from the top from… uh… everybody! Everybody!”
“Oops! Looks like another hacker stole all these account numbers and names! Better tell the news!”
“Ching ching ching ching ching ching ching!”
“OH hey! My cell phone bill is arbitrarily higher!”
“Deny me MY Monopoly will they?!”
“Huh… That bus should have stopped.”
“…Can’t wait for the police, of which I am one of, to arrest that guy again.”
A Preview of things to come.
No one will be prepared.
Oh, some of us know exactly what is going on.
