Lessons Learned, Moving Forward, Story Updates and Cancellations · 8:46pm August 3rd
Not sure if anyone reads these—hello if you do—I have a few things I'd like to get off my chest. Fair warning: this is mostly a rant and, to a lesser extent, an update for moving forward.
So, a couple years ago I started posting stories (yes, there was one from 2012, but I don't count that). I'm going to be honest, everything I've done up until very recently have been unplanned messes. I've gotten the occasional itch to write since I came back in 2022, but all the stories I wrote were hashed out in a blink with little to no thought, preparation or (heaven forbid) research put into them. Imagine that—research—what a novel concept.
My intention has always been to try and improve and have fun while doing so. The issue is that, because I've done most of it on a whim, and many of the stories had deadlines, I don't believe I've succeeded in either (to an extent).
Let me explain.
I've always wanted to do something... what that something is changes sporadically, but it usually falls back to writing. My mind is a bit of a mess, and it's pretty exhausting trying to keep up with it and what it demands at any given time. Everything I attempt to do, I do so very casually, which has been at odds with my intention to improve in anything I attempt.
Exhausting.
Imagine for a moment you had ten hobbies, and every one of those hobbies demanded your attention at all times. I believe they call this "choice paralysis," but imagine you had this feeling every waking hour of every day for years. You want to do something; you do it for a little bit (if at all), but as you're doing that thing, you have a nagging feeling in the back of your mind saying you shouldn't be doing it, or that you're doing it wrong. This leads to a total collapse into a relapse, where you're sprung back to square one, faced with many choices, so what do you do? You don't. At least, that's how it's been for me.
So, what comes of this? Well, if you let it fester long enough and have an itch you've been meaning to scratch for a while (i.e., a story), you spring forward in frustration, attempting to reconcile with the fact that you haven't done anything. The result is often disastrous and leads to the unplanned messes that are works of fiction. I can't tell you how many times I've had the urge delete the stories I wrote, but I know attempting to erase the past will only lead to a repeat in history, and I don't want that.
Every story, except the last that is.
You see, everything I'd done up until now I'd done almost completely alone. Isolation tends to lead to an echo chamber, and negative thoughts are likely to run rampant and lead to constant paralysis.
A good friend of mine, Dewdrops on the Grass, has helped kept me motivated and she has been nothing short of wonderful.
My latest story, Walking the Moonlit Path, wouldn't have seen the light of day without her help. I had many doubts and fears during the story's development, but she was there to reassure me along the way, and her editorial work has really brought the story to life and to a state I wouldn't have imagined possible.
It's not perfect, but there were several key changes that happened this time around that didn't happen before. I worked at a leisurely pace, I did research, I had fun, and for the first time ever I truly feel happy with the end result, and that wouldn't have been possible without Dew.
This story was inspired by another, one I wholeheartedly wish everyone would read: Balloon To The Moon. If my story does nothing else, I hope it at least leads more people to check out that story, and subsequently, more stories by my wonderful friend who wrote it, The Sleepless Beholder. His stories have reignited a spark in me, one I fully intend to hold onto moving forward.
Speaking of moving forward.
I will not be participating in future contests on a whim to force myself to write something. If I want to join, I will, and I will start asap, not in the last couple remaining weeks. I will continue to write even if a majority of what I write doesn't get uploaded, as although the process has become fun for me recently, I don't believe every story needs to see the light of day. I will put in at least the effort I had in the previous story, and that will be the standard moving forward. There will be plenty of research, they will be done at a leisurely pace, and there will be at least some planning involved so I at least know how they're roughly going to end ahead of time.
Finally, though I don't like doing this, I have decided to put my long-term story, Honorary Crusader, to rest and cancel it. The story started on a rocky foundation, and only worsened over its development, suffering from a lack of planning that lead to having scenes go on a tangent that don't serve to further the main plot of the story. I also don't have any interest at the moment to go back and revise it. I'm really sorry to the few who may've been looking forward to a conclusion for it. I'm disappointed I couldn't finish it, but I must move on.
Regardless of that, I'm feeling very positive moving forward and have friends to be ever thankful for that.
Thank you to anyone who stuck around this long, it means a lot to me. I hope I'm able to bring joy in what I do moving forward.
Good luck out there, dude.