• Member Since 4th Apr, 2012
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Journeyman


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Dec
24th
2012

At the End Commentary: Chapter 16 · 9:41pm Dec 24th, 2012

This entry contains spoilers for its corresponding chapter of At the End. Be warned...

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<--Previous Chapter Commentary *-* Next Chapter Commentary -->
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As stated in the last commentary, this chapter was supposed to be the second half of the last chapter. This chapter contained the “meat” of the scenes, which was why I was disappointed that I needed to cut the chapter where it was. Fate was against me.

My first draft of the story had the Crafter enter Ponyville and leave immediately after he obtained the wheat necessary to grow food. His first real meeting with the ponies would be with Rarity after he saves her from some Diamond Dogs. Do you recall the scratch marks he found underground as he rose to the surface? That was going to be my lead in to him meeting the Dogs and saving Rarity. Plus, I wanted to make a very special Minecraft reference and that scene would give me the perfect opportunity to do so.

Alas, I cut that and rewrote it so that he gets caught. Why? Well, why wouldn’t he? I He had already escaped capture once, and that was by the skin of his teeth. Doing so again, and while he was in their territory and they knew he was out and about, was pushing the suspension of disbelief a little too far.

Judging as a very, very biased person, I’m rather pleased at how the cultural clash between the two is progressing. For instance, do you know why the Crafter kept pointing at Barricade and holding up his hand? He was holding his hand lower to the ground to indicate a smaller Barricade. Fluttershy; he was talking about Fluttershy. To him, a small Barricade was Fluttershy. When he opened up his journal, he was going to make a very poor drawing of her, like my ascii art. Frankly, my ascii art is as poor as my sense of direction in Minecraft, which is why I made the Crafter have the same problem. I get lost easily in Minecraft.

The rain also gave me the chance to foreshadow the Crafter’s biology and abilities. The guy just strolls through the rain like it’s nothing. Have you ever run through the blistering desert heat, the frozen tundra, or torrential rain forest deluges? It’s fun. It’s a fun game, and it’s fun finding those small nuggets of information and be able to transfer them to a fun story. I even included another scene where physics don’t work the same; the rain was washing away the ink in his book. I’m not doing a “some guy in Equestria” story, I’m actually going through, step by step, the radical differences in biology and ecology. Oh, this is going to be fun to do.

Frankly, I admire Barricade’s courage and fortitude. My favorite written character so far is Lieutenant Chaser, but I’m growing fond of her. It takes a lot of guts to not follow one’s instincts and attack against an alien so radically different than oneself. Thankfully, she did the right thing and gave him a chance.

But now, it’s time for the running to stop. These two different creatures are finally side by side and going to have to deal with it. Put on your galoshes we got us some researching to do!

Oh, and for the pony that asked, I’ll get those sketches of Lyra’s piano up when I find a scanner that works. I’m missing a cord for mine, and can’t find it.

And now that I read the comments, I’m surprised that nopony’s picked up the clue I lodged in this chapter. You think Barricade getting potentially lethally injured is bad? No. It’s not. Something far worse has just occurred in this chapter. See if you can find it. :)

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Comments ( 3 )

Can you give us any hints as to where we can find it?
Yeoman, out

645926
Not without giving spoilers, no.

Oh, and for the pony that asked, I’ll get those sketches of Lyra’s piano up when I find a scanner that works. I’m missing a cord for mine, and can’t find it.

Yes, thank you!

I'm eagerly waiting for the next chapter!

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