• Member Since 11th Jul, 2011
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kits


All my things are horse things!

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Dec
23rd
2012

FARMCORE · 5:07am Dec 23rd, 2012

Remember Applebuck Season? Back when no one really knew anything about Equestria? Remember Blueshift's blog about ignoring canon? Well, yeah? FUCK IT! It happened and if you ignore it I'll probably just make cheap shots about your favorite pony and edit them into this blog when your back is turned.



I'm sure everyone caught the line about how it's been almost 100 moons since the last Applefamily reunion. No? Here.

Now, given that they seem to use the same units of time as us, there are 12.3682662 lunar months to a year. That makes it just a shade over 8 years since the last Apple Family Reunion. We also know AJ doesn't lie. At least she doesn't lie well. It's been 8 years since the first reunion, but when was that? Can we put a date on it? No, that would be silly.


OH SHI–

DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS?

It means these three's special talents are in failing to get cutie marks.

Eight years (or sixteen/twenty-four/etc) and still no cutiemarks? Failmark Cru-failures.

Onto happier things!

That is QUITE obviously Octavia's half-sister. And as everyone knows, Octavia was born one Inkamena Susanne Pie. What many don't know, is that her father got a foal on AJ's mom (yes, he screwed a comet. He's that badass.) The result is Fiddlesticks.

Why is this important?
Hold your goddamn horses.

I'm getting there.
Nicole Oliver, but you're impatient.

Where was I? Oh right, Applejack.

See, this means that Applejack and Pinkie each have a half sister in common. That makes them sisters (1/2 + 1/2 = 1. Shut up. I am a rocket scientist (in that I have a science degree and work on rockets (kinda (yes, you should worry)))). I established a week or so ago that Pinkie Pie was Rainbow Dash's great Aunt (because Fluttershy is her mom. Get it? Okay.) That means that AJ is, by the familial associative theory, also Dash's great Aunt. And since Rarity and AJ have been dating since midway through season 1, in another six months, Dash is going to have Rarity as a great Aunt too. (Three years is a 'proper' amount of time, dears.)

Yes, this is going to become a family portrait. I mean, AJ already predicted it in Cider Squishy 21/12/2012. They are totally family.

(Twilight's adopted. Don't tell her.)

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Comments ( 93 )

See, this means that Applejack and Pinkie each have a half sister in common. That makes them sisters (1/2 + 1/2 = 1. Shut up. I am a rocket scientist (in that I have a science degree and work on rockets (kinda (yes, you should worry)))). I established a week or so ago that Pinkie Pie was Rainbow Dash's great Aunt (because Fluttershy is her mom. Get it? Okay.) That means that AJ is, by the familial associative theory, also Dash's great Aunt. And since Rarity and AJ have been dating since midway through season 1, in another six months, Dash is going to have Rarity as a great Aunt too. (Three years is a 'proper' amount of time, dears.)
Yes, this is going to become a family portrait. I mean, AJ already predicted it in Cider Squishy 21/12/2012. They are totally family.

i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/461/428/a7d.gif

ok, my head REALLY hurts right now:applejackconfused:

What the Magical Fuck have I just taken the time to read :facehoof:

I was thinking along similar lines about the whole family reunion thing.

640487 I have no idea, but worth it.

Go sleep kits, you're drunk :derpytongue2:

I'm pretty sure you mean AJ and Rarity have been dating for something like 7 years, at least.

Apparently. :rainbowhuh:

A lot of people are jumping on this "100 moons" thing. However, during "Return of Harmony", Discord's chaos caused the day/night cycle to last roughly five seconds instead of twenty four hours. Rounding up, that works out to one lunar cycle every two and a half minutes, or twenty four lunar cycles an hour. So if Discord's reign lasted for approximately three hours, then that's seventy two moons in a single day, and then with 12.3 cycles a year... It all works out to a hundred moons in just over two years.

You seem to be operating under the assumption that Equestria's lunar cycle is the same as ours.... we have a giant chunk of rock orbiting around our planet due to gravity, they have a giant chunk of rock orbiting around their world at their goddess-ruler's whim. I think that is a sizable difference, and therefore, time in Equestria is still up to interpretation by authors and readers.

Personally, I can't see it being eight years in show... and the apple family is the perfect example of why that is the case. Granny Smith is old... like one hoof in the grave old, and if in eight years there has been no downward trend in her physical condition, either I need to start eating more apples or she is really chuck norris in disguise. Not the CMC, if they have been held back for eight years and still don't have their cutie marks... well, they probably deserve to get teased.

Who knows if the lunar cycle in equestria normally is even roughly 12 per year? for all we know its once per week or something.

I love it when- oops, sorry. I LOVE IT WHEN THINGS FLY OFF THE HOOK! APPLES!

640561
If that's the only problem you have with this post, you may want to check into the nut house with me.
:pinkiecrazy:

Ummmmm, what if she just means 100 days? I mean she could be talking in the most blunt of terms and it's pretty clear our solar system behaves in very different ways. Not to mention 8 years seems like quite the gap....unless
fc01.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2011/328/4/1/ancient_humans_by_equestria_prevails-d4h7rms.jpg
Aliens....

I think the hundred moons thing is just a poetic figure of speach. It's like when Princess Celestia says some big historical thing happened "a thousand years ago." Sure, she means it happened a long time ago, but she's not exactly holding to a strict standard of measurement.

Every word you typed in your blog and comment posts are exactly why you are my favorite author here. Particularly your chat post log. The most eloquent shit I've seen on this site. Keep up the good work!

:rainbowlaugh: The BUCK are you talking about, Kits?:rainbowlaugh:

640566

Thank you - you can never have too many moons :twilightsmile:

You seem thirsty... for power...

Havn't we seen some pictures of some clocks with the hands in positions that make no sense? I think that disqualifies the "same unit of time" as we use. Also, the potential for Luna to troll the apple family is high with moon based system.

640617 Dash looks a bit annoyed in that pic, though I think you mean flanks or ass:yay:

Go home, kits. You're drunk.

Also, Octavia and Inkie are two different ponies. Just saiyan.

640725
Makeup

Also, I'm not drunk.

I'm stone cold sober

send booze.

Kits, whatever you've been on lately... please give me some! Pretty please? :fluttershysad:

640731 By that logic, Rainbow Dash is also Photo Finish. Launching an elaborate scheme just to get snaps of Fluttershy's plot.

My god. We're about to blow the lid on her entire operation!

640751
Rainbow Dash is apples

Been hittin' the cider a bit hard? :rainbowkiss:

640763
see 640731

I'm at my in-laws. No booze, she's diabetic.

halp

Since the Sun and the Moon are controlled by GODS is it not possible that they have more than 1 full moon in a month? What if she means every time they see the moon in the sky? Huh? That's a reunion like every 3 months! (Which is totally feasible).

Something completely different = Awesome.
And your logic is flawless (your a freaking rocket scientist, how can you be wrong?).

640725
She got a tan and a perm. ~BAM~
You don't get famous without a little make-up!

~Momentai

Comment posted by PhantomKirby deleted Dec 23rd, 2012

Equestrian Lunar cycles aren't the same as Earth's Lunar cycles. Hasn't anybody noticed that Luna keeps her Moon parallel with Celestia's Sun every night? When the Sun goes down, the Moon goes up, and vice versa.

They never share the sky.

No such thing as an eclipse in Equestria.

Moon phases are simply a plothole.

:pinkiecrazy:

I lost it at the family portrait and Twi being adopted part.:rainbowlaugh:

640770
You mean to say you ain't got no cider?

Nopony should EVER be without cider. It's an injustice!

th02.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/i/2012/342/2/4/applejack_angry_by_synthrid-d58ytel.png

640771

Hiiiissss

It is on? Can we do this?

Look. I don't know how long it'll take them to find me. I don't think I can run anymore. If you found this, then stop listening. It will save you trouble. But if you want to know... To know the truth... I hope you've better luck than me. shssshhhhhh

They tell you that Celestia controls the Sun and Luna controls the moon, but that's all a lie. We did the math, we did the science. The World circles the sun, the moon, the world. We don't have a name for it yet, but something binds these objects together, even as they hurl past each other at unimainable spee-

What was that? Check the door... Just kshhhhhh check it!

We don't have much time left. Guards are closing in on us. They got Showers back by the stairs. Pudding and Sauce ain't back yet. I may be all that's left. So here's the secret. Here's what I'm about to die for. It's a number. Just one number. 6.674×10^−11 N m^2 kg^−2. Get it Twilight Sparkle. She'll figure it out.

There. Now it's out of my hooves. Good luck and godspeed kshhhhhh

SSSHHSHSHHSHSHSHHSSHSHHSSHSHS

click

640752 that's a hell of a drug. I'll take two.

640803 What is this... I don't... even... Even your JOKES are captivating pieces of writing.

Who says pony moons are the same as months? Remember, Luna controls the moon. Maybe moons are really more like 2.5 months! :trixieshiftleft::trixieshiftright::eeyup:

thanks, booze is in the mail, Merry Christmas!

A.C. Turnipson - the truest Apple. :rainbowlaugh:
Also, Applejack is the best slave driver.

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