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22 KM To Nerdiness

You know I'm super fly...🪰 | 22 | Straight/Black/Nerd 🐢 | Ask For Ko-Fi | Twitter

More Blog Posts916

  • 1 week
    First Viewing #101

    A Haunting in Venice (2023): 7.5/10
    Another engaging mystery film. FYI: yes, this is a sequel to Murder on the Orient Express, and Death on the Nile.

    Sinister: 6/10
    I'm not a fan of the ending and it's a little slow, but... I guess it has its moments.

    Inside (2023): 7/10

    Read More

    13 comments · 97 views
  • 1 week
    First Viewings Rebooted

    For those who didn't know, I used to leave posts sharing 3-5 movies that I've seen for the first time with a X/10 rating and little short notes underneath. I stopped after post #100.
    Yes, I watch a lot of movies...

    Lately, I've been thinking of bringing that back, so maybe expect those at certain times.

    Maybe leave some possible recommendations?

    9 comments · 80 views
  • 3 weeks
    Num ;3

    "I'm not sharing, mate!"

    Art by BrowserPowder

    5 comments · 77 views
  • 3 weeks
    Mind Mane

    Art by @oOmnixX

    Read More

    11 comments · 65 views
  • 4 weeks
    HeartWood Discord Server

    For anyone who wants to join the adventure.

    6 comments · 73 views

Kyle & Lucy — Chapter 9 [Rewrite] 🐱😈 · 9:09pm May 24th

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8

“Wonderful to see you’ve settled, Lucy Goosey!”

“I-I… you…”

I’m no expert in social norms, but I was under the impression that, when one runs into a sibling, they’re usually… happy to see them. Words couldn’t describe the shock in Lucy’s eyes. Out of all the craziness we dealt with that day, it was this teen’s sudden arrival that had her on the edge of fainting. She looked fine for a demon; a wholesome, yet quirky sense of style, and a sunny demeanor warmer than freshly baked bread. However, there was this strange aura of authority to her though—like she was born to be respected. Her presence was both comforting and intimidating. Her kind voice had a tinge of enthusiasm easy to get caught up in, but that right bit of bass that breathed with power and confidence.

A brain teaser of a gal, but it was my civic duty as a boy to mentally note that girls are just plain weird.

“What’s the matter, kid?” Claire creeped over, whipping her braided locks to the side.

“It’s just…” Lucy’s eyes were fixed on her tasteful outfit. “What are you wearing—mmm!"

The adolescent demon taped a pointed claw over my friend’s mouth, lifting her by the head in a firm sisterly embrace. “Oh, no you don’t. Don’t make this about me, Ms. Scorn Trooper. I’m so proud of you, which only makes me miss you more!”

“Is that so?” Gram asked, stroking her saggy chin. “The little one said you had her wearing cement shoes last time you were with her, am I correct?”

“Oh, she did?” the teen hummed, her smooth smile jittering into wavy zigzags. “Silly goose, they were sequin shoes. My sis and her funny imagination. I’m guessing you lost them?”

Lucy nodded, a knowing look in her eyes. “I… slipped in a river with them.”

“No need to worry, what matters is you’re safe. Besides, I have plenty to spare.”

“Interesting,” Gram left her seat, turning the open sign by the exit around. “I’m glad you came by though. Milton and I are heading to the center for bingo night. You wouldn’t mind holding down the fort, would you?”

“Oh, not at all! Gives me more quality time with the little missy here.”

“Fantastic, truly fantastic.”

“Indeed.” Milton stomped in from the hall, a pained smirk on his face.

“Remind me, dear, why are you coming along this time? I thought you were terrified to join me again.”

“I… couldn’t fight destiny anymore,” he forced out. “The thrill is just too great to toss in the bin.”

“Oh? Well, it’s about time you came to your senses, now that you’re on Team Sugar Cane-9! Go prepare yourself, I must give our guest a quick roadmap.”

“Hmm, I am more prepared than you think,” the mole whispered, stopping close beside me. “Salvage whatever you can, lad. That seed of evil is amassing a bloody army. I need to power through this crazy pug’s impending mayhem to get that tedious game’s prize money. I swear to you, we’re getting a bunker. Here, take this. Mind the roaches and be sure to keep my equipment intact, if you will.”

Milton stealthily slid a rusty bronze key into the pocket of my hoodie, giving me a solid pat on the back.

“I’ll try.” I signed.

As the shaken kook made it for the door, I spot a briefcase-shaped bump pushing from within his lab coat.

“Kyle, hon,” Gram emerged from the kitchen with Claire, strapping a knitted green purse over her shoulder. “I left you and Lucy some beet loaf in the kitchen. Claire, there are some leftover metal treats in the stove in case you get the munchies.”

The teen bowed. “Thank you ever so much! I’ll see to it that everything goes swimmingly.”

“Let’s GO!” Milton yelled from outside.

The old pug chuckled. “Goodness, I’ve never seen this side of him… I like it!”

Crouching on all fours, Gram fixed her bonnet and leapt out the front door, drooling across the steps. Milton fumbled through his pockets before slinging out a stringy leash like a lasso. He chased after the hyper canine chanting, “Down, girl, down!” along the road until they were out of sight.

“So,” Claire broke the silence, looking my way as she slowly pushed the door closed. “I’ve been told you were the one who took the squirt in.”

“Mm-hmm,” her sister jumped in, scratching my ears. “Kyle is a sweet kitty.”

“Pleasure to meet you.” I signed.

The teen tilted her head. “What is he doing with his thingies?”

“Oh, kitty can’t speak.”


“Mm, I’ll go fetch us some dinner. I’m starving.”

Lucy skipped into the kitchen, shooting back a quick unsure glance at us. I didn’t understand what the problem was; Claire seemed delightful. The way she swayed idly by while my friend clattered about in the back just radiated with charm. If one told me she was Lucy from the future, I would believe it. The same hopeful, innocent eyes that overflowed with wonder. The same infectiously upbeat attitude able to liven up a room…

“Hi there.”

Even the same inability to understand the concept of personal space. She was practically leaning on me. I didn’t even hear her move.

“I’m glad the ankle-biter found you,” she cooed, cupping my cheeks and swishing them around. “Such a cute little thing. I could just eat. You. Up.”

The corners of her grin suddenly stretched up to her eyebrows, making my fur quake. Her grip on my face eased into borderline strangling as she lifted me over her. The bright, welcoming whiteness in her eyes was bled over by a sinister yellow. Her pupils shrank to dark pinpricks until no color could be found. That hungry stare peeking directly into my soul made it clear that her taste buds fancied my chewy hide when she unhinged her bear trap jaws. Beyond those monstrous choppers was the stuff of nightmares, which I was almost certain spawned from them. It was like staring down at a fleshy portal of spinning teeth and endless flames. The tough, sweltering odor of burnt rubber blasting from her ghastly gullet gave me no room to breathe. I couldn’t scream even if I had a voice—it was that strong.

I couldn’t fight back though. I just became Lucy’s soul buddy, and unleashing Vyle on her sister—her blood—was the last thing I wanted to do as such. Plus, Gram taught me better. It’s never okay to put your paws on a girl. Claire could just be playing around for all I knew. A rather carnivorous play, but still. I figured she’d pull back eventually, and we’d all laugh about it.

Yep. Any moment.

I entered dangerously close territory, but her arms must have tired out. I admired her dedication to the bit; the addition of her snake tongue choking my windpipe was a neat touch. She almost convinced me that she genuinely wanted to bite my head off. It was fine. Everything was fine…

Then, she paused. Her attention was drawn to my marked wrist. “Squirt!” she shouted, pointed ears twitching.

A few seconds passed until Lucy flew back out with a sizzling bread pan between her bare claws. In it was a piping hot serving of Gram’s beet loaf. Its savory, reddish-purple goodness—with the signature beet stems sticking out—radiated in the light.

“Yes, sis?” she uttered.

Claire pointed at the mark. “Is that a—”


“This guy?”



“Yes, and it would be great if you don’t eat him, silly.”

“You are no fun.” The teen dropped me on my face. “Fine, keep the weirdo snack.”

“Ooh, the ‘snack’ label. That means she likes you, kitty!” Lucy approached me, holding a butter knife over the dish. “I didn’t know how many pieces to cut up. How much do you want?”

I got up and waved it off.

“Not hungry?”

“Lost my appetite.” I signed with a gulp.

“Okie dokie, but I’m saving you some for later.”

If “some” equaled portions so thin that you could almost see through it, I’d say my buddy was the proud symbol of generosity. Meanwhile, I had to watch her scarf the rest of the meal like it was nothing, leaving a mess of crumbs all over the white wood floors.

As I swept it up in my paws, Claire pushed past me toward the widest space in the room. She popped her broad shoulders. “Now to get out of this eyesore.”

Pure anticipation leaked from every pore in the demon’s crazed glare. The tips of her claws rose to a fine point, reaching for the red ribbons holding her pigtails together. One tiny snip sent her pink strands pouring down her waist into a long, wavy length that mirrored a column of unruly flames. She started slashing away at her lovely dress with delirious glee like it was a Kitschmas present. Any resemblance she had to her caring sibling faded away in the clothing carnage. A silver tee peeked out beneath the violet fabric, along with a dark leather jacket that had seen better days. With a wave of her hands, Claire shuddered in delight as spiked metallic bands slid from sleeves to wrists. Behind the collapsed remains of her outfit stood torn black jeans and two knee-high black boots equipped with more clippers, zippers, straps and traps than climbing gear. The teen's large, edged red wings flapped open, raising her in a gusty twirl. The ensemble was completed by a frayed black plaid skirt that spun into view.

I had a gut feeling she didn’t care much for brighter colors.

None of it seemed real. I was still processing this punk princess nightmare of a transformation while Lucy looked on with starry eyes. Her sister blissfully landed like a great weight was lifted off her. “Much better.” She sighed peacefully.

“Glad to see you back to normal,” Lucy giggled, clinging to the beast’s torso. “I was afraid you lost your marbles… not in the fun way.”

Normal? I thought.

Claire scoffed, swiping the girl off. “It’s called deception, Squirt.”

The creature ate a strip of lime-green gum from her jacket pocket, tossing the wrapper aside.

“Ooh!” Lucy gasped. “Is that soul gum? Can I have some?”

“Nah, you’re not ready for that, kid.”

“Aww, come on!”

I picked up the crinkled wrapper.

Live Gum: TRENT, it says on the emerald label. On the other side were highly detailed lists of ridiculous crimes, hobbies and personality traits, along with an alarmingly high dose of sodium. Whoever this “Trent” fellow was, they sure couldn’t handle the idea of differing opinions.

While I was appreciating how so much information was crammed on a small pack of gum, I picked up what sounded like faint, eerie moans. Looking back, the muffled cries seemed to be coming from Claire’s grinding jaws. The green wad of gum tossing and turning between her thorny teeth oozed into view. A ghostly face with an expression of fear and anguish in its hollowed eyes stretched in and out with every cruel chew.

“Can you at least tell me what flavor it is?” Lucy asked.

“Hmm,” Claire hummed with a pondering nod. “Salty. Not bad for a weasel.”


“Aren’t I always?”

“True, you are the ultimate evil. Fortune favors the cold, right?”


“By the way, what brings you here?”


“Wait! First, let me show you around. You’re going to love it!”

I will admit, it moved me with how eager Lucy was to show off my home. Knead to Know wasn’t the grandest place in the world, of course, but it meant the world to me; simple, wholesome, everything I could ask for. Seeing my friend struggle to find which room to drag her sister to first filled me with pride. I always thought the bakery was special, but her beaming smile and speedy babbling told me that maybe we were part of something truly unique. I couldn’t help but smile at her pointing to every room like a manic tourist.

It was a shame that Claire couldn’t care less.

Throughout the tour, she barely reacted beyond the occasional subtle gag at Gram’s humble décor, pup-themed treats, and charming antiques. She looked like she wanted to rip someone’s face off the further we went. The frequent glances she gave me while chomping her groaning gum to a pulp was very… comforting. Lucy was happy, that was all that mattered.

“Oh, how could I forget?” the girl smacked her forehead, pulling her sister back to the hallway. “You’ve got to meet my new pet, Li’l—”

At the bathroom, Lucy gasped. I caught up to peek through the opened door. Inside, the pitcher I put the piranha in was still in its place on the sink. Bumping about within it were nothing but fish bones.

“Li’l Precious!” she wailed. “Nooooo!”

Next to the pitcher sat Cliff with his usual blank, janky stare.

“Bad Cliff! Bad!”

“Pffft.” The rock said.

We had the funeral later that week. Lovely service, just beautiful.

“Yes, this is all very amusing,” Claire rolled her eyes. “But we’re wasting time here.”

“What do you mean?” my friend sniffled, hugging the fishy glass.

“I came all the way here, to the land of these gross surfies, to tell you something super important.”

“What’s that?”

“You’re terrible.”

“Aww, thank you.”

“Not in the fun devil sense. You’re sloppy, you’re soft, and you’re in no way prepared for this assignment.”


“But I’m going to help you.”

“Really?! I’m so… wait, isn’t that cheating?”

“We’re demons. Cheating is our specialty, remember?”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

“Even then, you never had to work to get your chance. That’s, like, the ultimate cheat.”

“That is weird. I must have gotten lucky.”

Claire clenched her fists. “Yep… but I can’t let you take that luck for granted. You need a kick-starter, a tutor.”

“Torture tutor?”

“Torture tutor.”


“This is a one-night only lesson, so we’ll have to get going.”

“Where to?”

“It’s a surprise.”

“Sweet! Kyle, I’m going to be super focused here, so I’ll need you to do the note-taking for me—”

“Whoa, whoa,” the teen cut her off. “No way. This is a non-surfie trip, and I’m trying to cut back on midnight snacks.”

“I can’t go without kitty. He’s my fri-end.”

“Eww, do you bite dad with that mouth?”

“No, I give cheek kissies. Why you ask?”

“Double eww.”

“Come on, I promise I’ll look after him! He’s unbreakable, watch!”

The girl shattered the glass pitcher over my head, dousing me in cold, smelly fish water.

“That’s disappointing,” Claire muttered, watching me wring my hoodie dry. “But it’s still no.”

Lucy stuck her lip out. “I just created a new lesson though!”

“Not this garbage again.”

“It’s not garbage! Lucy Lesson #80: Evil Petting. I might be the first demon to have a kitty to stroke menacingly in my lair. Do you have a kitty to stroke?”

“That is a grown-up discussion, and it’s none of your business.”

“Kitty’s coming along!”

Hefty, throbbing veins branched out the corners of Claire’s tensed forehead. The sisters shot dirty glares at each other, exchanging dramatic snorts that overlapped one another in the awkward silence.

“Ugh, fine!” Claire roared, yanking her fluorescent locks. “Bring the little pincushion, I don’t care anymore.”

“Yes!” Lucy clapped her wings together. “This is going to be fun, right, Kyle?”

I shook my head.

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m not supposed to be out this late.” I signed.

“No worries, kitty. I’m sure we’ll be back before Gram comes back. This can only end brilliantly!”

“I don’t know.”


Why was a simple, quiet night indoors so impossible for the universe to comprehend? Everything about this plan screamed ‘trouble,’ but the fact that trouble was the entire purpose of this trip made it scary. Stuck in the spotlight between two opposing pairs of eyes—one innocent and pleading, the other angry and craving—I was lost. I hated letting others down, and I couldn’t risk ruining what could’ve been a perfect opportunity for my friend. That, and her desperate eyes creeped me out. They were so… black.

Shame on me for wanting to be a good kitty.

“Okay.” I signed.

“Great!” Lucy hugged me tight, drying my damp hoodie under puffs of steam. “I needed to follow Lesson #20: Don’t Try This At Home. You try it somewhere else instead!”

“I’m still not sure about this.”

“If everything fails, we should apparently commit… Sudoku, I think is the word. I need to brush up on my reading.”

Claire rubbed her temple with a defeated sigh. “This is going to be a long night. Get everything you need.”

My friend pulled out her infinity box. “Done!”

“Good, let’s go.”

I patted Cliff’s head, told him to look after the house, and followed the skipping demon.

“Hey, got a moment?” The teen leaned against the door, blocking my way with a boot. That unsettling smile returned to her bent brows as she gradually hunched over me. “It took a lot of will for me to come up here. For the life of me, I don’t know what Squirt sees in you surfies, but I’ll consider sparing this hideous place if you stay cute, quiet, and out of the way. If we have any problems, I will pull your liver out from your ear and mash it into paste. I will tie your eyes to your tail so you can watch me kick your butt, then I will reach into your chest, pull out your heart, and eat every last molecule. Shall I continue?”

I shook my head, my tail curling between my legs.

“Good.” The demon turned heel and left, her feisty tail harshly whipping my nose on the way out.

“Move your paws, kitty!” Lucy shouted. “The fun has just begun!”

At least Claire and I had one thing to agree upon:

It was going to be a very, very long night…

Report 22 KM To Nerdiness · 87 views ·
Comments ( 1 )

Ouch, poor Kyle, with Claire threatening him every five minutes

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