Friendship is Card Games: Moonstuck, Pt. 4 · 11:59am Mar 19th, 2023
This week, we go from one end of the Equestrian timeline to the other as we return to Moonstuck..
Woona returns to her observatory base of operations, only to find that it has been… cleaned. Also, the bat pony brothers followed her home, partly because their mother saw how much they wanted to help and partly because half of Egophiliac’s inbox had been clamoring for their return.
One of the hard-won moon relics was swapped with an egg, presumably by Nighmare Woon, who then tidied up the place in order to keep Woona from noticing. After much silliness, the egg hatches into a moon roc. It may look cute now, but it’s still an apex predator that explodes when startled. And Mama’s somewhere nearby…
After the Asparagus Monster Incident, Woona and the roc go looking for something else to feed it—ideally something that isn’t tender pony flesh—and stumble into the middle of a coup in the moon changeling hive. (Of course there’s a hive of changelings on the moon. Why wouldn’t there be?) The young queen has been declared a traitor by her scheming vizier, and only through a blend of extreme shenanigans does Woona manage to get the former out of the latter’s clutches… for now.
Also, Moonstuck did the “changeling pretending to be someone’s reflection” thing and changelings turning into rocks years before “The Times They Are A Changeling.” Heck, given how the changeling in Moonstuck is a young queen fighting back against a usurping regent, it even kind of foreshadowed Thorax’s future role, to say nothing of positing a self-sustaining cycle of shared love between queen and hive.
In any case, let’s see what I can make of this leg of her journey:
Glimpse of Celestia 1W
Instant
Whenever target creature deals damage this turn, you gain that much life.
Draw a card.
Seeing the face of the princess, even for a moment, is enough to inspire hope in anypony.
Regal Poise 1WW
Instant
You become the monarch. If you were already the monarch, you gain protection from everything until end of turn.
True nobility never falters.
Cycle of Love 2W
Enchantment
Whenever you attack with one or more creatures, you gain that much life.
At the beginning of your end step, if you gained 3 or more life this turn, create a 2/2 blue Shapeshifter creature token with changeling. (It’s every creature type.)
The queen and the hive are one.
Deafening Denial 1UU
Instant
Choose one or both —
• Counter target spell
• All creatures gain shroud until end of turn. (They can’t be the targets of spells or abilities.)
“Did I mention that I’m not a changeling?”
Chalkclaw Instructor 2U
Creature — Shapeshifter Wizard
Whenever a creature you control becomes a copy of another creature or enters the battlefield as a copy of another creature, draw a card.
4U: Another target creature you control becomes a copy of target creature not named Chalkclaw Instructor until end of turn.
2/3
Reflection Gambit 2UU
Instant
Target creature you control becomes a copy of another target creature you control until end of turn. That creature and other creatures you control with the same name as it gain hexproof until end of turn.
A good disguise blends in. A great disguise fades from perception completely.
Enigmatic Sculpture 3U
Artifact
At the beginning of your draw step, draw an additional card.
Daybound (If a player casts no spells during their own turn, it becomes night next turn.)
There’s no question of whether it moves when you’re not looking. The question is what it does.
Sculpted Sphinx
(U) Artifact Creature — Gargoyle Sphinx
Flying
Discard a card: Sculpted Sphinx gains hexproof until end of turn. Tap it.
Whenever Sculpted Sphinx deals combat damage to a player, draw a card.
Nightbound (If a player casts at least two spells during their own turn, it becomes day next turn.)
4/3
Adjust Your Set XU
Instant
Choose up to X target artifacts and/or creatures. Untap the chosen permanents your team controls. Tap the chosen permanents your opponents control.
No amount of repositioning cleared up the psychic interference around the moon, but it was good flying practice.
Pool of Interrogation B
Artifact
Pool of Interrogation enters the battlefield with two oil counters on it.
1B, T, Remove an oil counter from Pool of Interrogation: Target player discards a card. Activate only a sorcery.
Secrets spill from lips desperate for air.
Chiropteron Songshaper 2B
Creature — Bat Pegasus Bard
Flying
Finale — Whenever you sacrifice a Song, each opponent sacrifices an enchantment.
Most ponies who don’t first see their bat-winged kin in Night Guard armor meet them behind turntables.
2/1
Encroaching Swarm 3BB
Instant
Create X 1/1 black Shapeshifter creature tokens, where X is the total amount your opponents have lost this turn.
Without Queen Imogen to keep love circulating, her hive soon became desperate for fresh energy.
Observatory Guards 4B
Creature — Bat Pegasus Soldier
Flying
If it’s neither day nor night, it becomes day as Observatory Guards enters the battlefield.
Whenever day becomes night or night becomes day, each opponent loses 2 life and you gain 2 life.
3/4
Horse Around 1RR
Sorcery
Creatures you control get +2/+0 and gain trample until end of turn.
Hoofcraft — If you control three or more Ponies, Pegasi, and/or Unicorns, whenever a creature you control deals combat damage to a player this turn, exile the top card of your library. You may play that card until the end of your next turn.
Panicked Burst 3R
Sorcery
Panicked Burst deals 3 damage to each creature, player, and planeswalker.
Never startle a roc. Even the ones smaller than you can still have an unpleasant surprise in store.
Interlayer Drop 1G
Instant
Choose one —
• Destroy target creature with flying.
• Search your library for a basic land or Sphere card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.
To truly rule the Moon, Luna had to know it inside and out.
Irrepressible Growth 2G
Sorcery
Return target permanent card from your graveyard to your hand. If that card wasn’t a creature card, untap up to two lands.
Pony manes, like ponies themselves, can never be held back for long.
Skyscraper Stalk 3G
Creature — Plant Mutant
Reach
5G: Monstrosity 3. (If this creature isn’t monstrous, put three +1/+1 counters on it and it becomes monstrous.)
As long as Skyscraper Stalk is monstrous, it has vigilance.
Famine is rarely a concern for ponies.
2/4
Crowned Egg 4
Creature — Egg Noble
Defender
When Crowned Egg dies, you may put a legendary permanent card you own from your hand or the command zone onto the battlefield.
Succession works strangely in the court of Ornithia.
0/4
Fluidic Infiltrator UB
Creature — Elemental Shapeshifter
Fluidic Infiltrator can’t be blocked.
Ward — Pay 3 life. (Whenever this creature becomes the target of a spell or ability an opponent controls, counter it unless that player pays 3 life.)
“You need better weather stripping.”
2/1
Moon Roc Hatchling BR
Creature — Bird
Flying, first strike, haste
Moon Roc Hatchling can’t block.
Whenever a creature dealt damage by Moon Roc Hatchling this turn dies, put a +1/+1 counter on Moon Roc Hatchling.
1BR: Moon Roc Hatchling deals 1 damage to target creature.
1/1
Twisted Machinations WUB
Sorcery
Exchange control of target nonland permanent you control and target permanent another player controls that share a card type. That player sacrifices a permanent of that type.
The dark filly grinned. Two problems would solve each other in short order.
Frolicking Phobia 2BR
Creature — Nightmare Clown
Menace
Delirium — As long as there are four or more card types among cards in your graveyard, Frolicking Phobia gets +3/+2, has trample and reach, and is a Spider in addition to its other types.
Every performance is dinner and a show.
3/3
The Jam Layer
Land — Sphere
The Jam Layer enters the battlefield tapped.
T: Add B.
2B, T: Scry 1.
Though sweet, the filling resonates best with nightmarish energies.
The Moonflower Gardens
Land — Sphere
The Moonflower Gardens enters the battlefield tapped.
T: Add G.
2G, T: Scry 1.
Plant life is scarce on the Moon, and all the more precious for it.
The Moon Maze
Land — Sphere
The Moon Maze enters the battlefield tapped.
T: Add R.
2R, T: Scry 1.
Some twists formed naturally. Others were carved by generations of moonitaurs.
The Regolith Expanse
Land — Sphere
The Regolith Expanse enters the battlefield tapped.
T: Add W.
2W, T: Scry 1.
Austere beauty stretches out under the quiet stars.
The Sea of Equinity
Land — Sphere
The Sea of Equinity enters the battlefield tapped.
T: Add U.
2U, T: Scry 1.
The Moon’s core is home to its greatest treasures and dangers.
Stupid Complicated Game Alert: Yes, it is theoretically possible for a nonland permanent you control to share a card type with a land an opponent controls. Combining two cards that don't do anything of relevance individually is allowed to outright win, so this isn't an issue.
Moonstuck really was brilliant. A perfect combination of cute, funny, and heartfelt, with a dash of big adventure and silly puns.