Another Little Ramble · 9:21pm Feb 16th, 2023
I stayed with my parents this weekend, and took Monday off to watch the Super Bowl with them. It’s the one and only sporting event I watch regularly and without being put up to it by someone else. It’s sort of a family tradition at this point. I’ve never been “into” sports so I don’t watch 99% of the season, but I I enjoy watching football (sorry, “American Football”) quite a bit.
Some interesting things came to mind while I was there, particularly regarding my grandmother, or “Mawmaw” as I’ve always known her. Mawmaw is… an interesting individual. She’s got a reputation for being grouchy and standoffish, and she does not like children. It’s frequently joked that it’s a miracle my dad and his three siblings survived childhood under her stern gaze. When she first moved in with my parents due to her poor health, it was a bit of a shock for my mother because Mawmaw lacks social skills. She never said “please” or “thank you”, barely spoke unless she needed something, and generally refused to do anything unless it was her idea in the first place.
Can we blame her? My Pawpaw died when I was too young to remember him, and she’s mostly lived alone that entire time. My dad made it a point to visit with her weekly, but the rest of the kids just sort of ignored her. She was already a loner by nature, and a homebody to boot. Her interactions with the rest of humanity were limited to going to the store and the casino, and even then she barely talks to anyone. Mawmaw hasn’t lived a life in which she could develop social skills. It makes me wonder how my social butterfly of a father ever came out of her loins.
In many ways, going to live with my parents was as much a culture shock to Mawmaw as it was to them. She’s gotten better. Her tone has shifted to something more polite, she remembers her “please”s and “thank you”s. It was slow going and nearly drove my mom nuts once or twice, but things are certainly improving.
What struck me in particular was how I always got along with Mawmaw. I guess it’s because we’re alike in a lot of ways. I don’t understand her ability to literally sit there and do nothing for hours on end, but when she finds something worth talking about you discover her mind is as sharp as it ever was. Well, for a particular definition of “sharp”; she’s a remarkably gullible woman, the type who watches reality shows about hunting Bigfoot and catching ghosts for reasons other than a lark. Come to think of it, maybe she’s also where I got my love for the strange and macabre.
Going back to her social skills and our limited relationship: I never saw the problems that a lot of people have with Mawmaw. Maybe it’s because I’m so hard to offend, unlike my mother who, for all her blessings, was not gifted with either patience or a forgiving nature. In all my 38 years, I can’t recall a single moment in which Mawmaw was angry or mean to me, including those rare moments when she babysat me as a kid. Upon reflection, I realize I’m the only one of her many grandchildren for whom she ever did that.
Maybe there’s a reason for that. Maybe we just ‘click’.
Mawmaw is well into her 70’s at this point, and she makes no attempt to take care of herself. I keep waiting to get “the call”. She’s my last surviving “grand” relative, and sometimes I feel like I haven’t spent enough time with her. Yet she’s a loner, and I know for sure that she’d scoff and tell me to let her be. I respect that. Far be it for me to tell someone else to hang out more.
As is often the case, there’s no point to this. I just felt like talking about my grandmother for a bit. Reflecting on things that came to mind while we sat there watching a bunch of burly guys slam into one another over an oblong ball. Making jokes about how the ref’s calls against our team were signs of ol’ fashioned communism (a common unironic statement by Pawpaw, or so I’m told), how my dad claimed that he and our dachshund Buster could have made that last play (“he’d chew on their ankles while I ran away!”), or debating over how not making that touchdown was actually a smart move (my dad insisted it was stupid whereas I thought it was brilliant). Just a typical Super Bowl Sunday.
Save that Mawmaw was there. And it got me to thinking.
Just wanted to say that I found all this lovely to read, and whatever she certainly comes across as an unusual individual, and certainly a hard one to read, she sounds still pleasurable and nice in her own, offbeat way, once you click with her, as you have. And it shows that, most of the time, a hard rock isn't that un-moveable.
Certainly gave me more to read that the Super Bowl anecdotes; I may be even less into sport than yourself, and other then what I pick up from my brother watching the Super Bowl and NFL leadup (more common an activity these days on this side of the pond than you might expect), I know diddly squat about it.
This. I've gotten to the point that I no longer surprised when a senior is still as sharp as ever, but it's always pleasant when it happens. Lovely touching sentiment. Even if it includes watching Bigfoot hunting shows.
Yes, it's not many steps from there to Paul's love for macabre, not at all… 
Probably not the first time you've disclosed this info, but the first time I've seen it. Now, what to do with this info…
I had my brief stint of interest in sports when I was little (baseball primarily), I actively joke that my "knowledge" applies to the shape of the various balls and not much more. Joking aside, I do kinda know the barest bones basics (I can imitate throwing a football or shooting a hoop) but if you paired me up with someone who was on the teams, I'd flounder before the first whistle.
I only have a couple of grands left in my family, a great-aunt from my grandma's side of the family, and a "step" grandma. My blood-grandparents died at 1, 18, and 29 IIRC.
Very thoughtful little ramble. I love that you have an appreciation for someone so easy to dismiss based on superficialities.