Yeah...I'm Purposefully Trying To Be Non Existent. · 7:16am Dec 22nd, 2022
I just noticed, I don't really chat with my peeps like I used too here. I apologize really, just life has been a series of unfortunate events. And nothing like a cloud of depress to sap the creativity from your soul. So I hear you ask, Forgetful, what have you been doing with your life?
The short answer nothing.
The longer answer, adulting.
Turns out being an adult is basically just routine, and my routine is to bury myself in workloads I know will basically destroy me. Why!? Well, I'm using my job as escapism. I think if I keep myself busy with work, I can sort of bypass life?
Sounds weird, but all my life I've had this thing about the backrooms.
And not the paradoxically creepy dimension between dimensions.
More like I really, really believe the saying " Out of sight, out of mind."
That if I'm out of visual contact, I can become this ethereal being. You know, I don't really exist therefore people cease to mess with me, that I'm in this odd little bubble of me, myself, and I.
I feel safe in this bubble, I feel as if the wickedness of the world can't find me. So I do everything in my power to be invisible, from taking massive workloads to where my bosses think I'm some sort of robot, who runs on pure caffeine. To missing out on a movie night with my sister, because two people I didn't know, were going to be there.
Is this healthy? Hell no!
Then why do I do this, why am I trying desperately to fast forward my life to the ultimate end screen?
Well I have three ideas to why.
And I'll be sharing them soon.
But for now, I just want you all to be safe. Just know to keep yourselves safe, you all do matter.
And above all, just groove to your own beat.
We all are on crazy journeys and sometimes we just need to take it slow. Sometimes talking it out is the best thing, I just want Y'all to know, that on this journey, I'm not sorry to have met all my friends here.
Even though I'm ghosting myself into non existence, I'm happy I came here. And wouldn't trade that for the world.
Poor baby 🥺
You always have my love and support!
You know me, I'm too simple to give the best advice. All I can offer is my heart to you and the sunshine you deserve. ❤️🌞
I may not entirely understand the motivation, but I do understand a thing about escapism. But I find myself very busy with large workloads mostly to serve as my own escape of 'boredom'. I get restless when I find myself having so much freetime, that I feel the need to just do something even when folks tell me I should be relaxing more. In your case, I can tell it's just as serious. I hope you'll at least be okay.
*Boops your snoot*
Take as long as you need to get through this rough patch, but please do come back to us, the fandom needs you, and your stories, and journal entries on this website.
Jesus christ that is not good. Maybe not the healthiest option, but do you have anyone who can force you to go out and get out of your comfort zone? When my wife is feeling sort of like this, I'm the one who forces her out of her comfort zone. And it's usually the kick she needs to feel better afterward.