Pitch Meeting: My Little Pony · 9:13pm Dec 13th, 2022
So sorry, this was stuck in my head and I had to write it down.
So anyway...
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Producer Guy: "So you have a children's show for me?"
Writer Guy: "Yes sir I do. I was thinking we could reboot the My Little Pony franchise, and this time give it great stories and characters that will allow parents to tolerate it and maybe watch it with their kids."
PG: "Well more people watching does mean more money, so what's it about?"
WG: "Well it starts with voice over from a random character we don't know anything about telling us a story about two royal pony sisters that ruled together and raised the sun and moon, but the one who raised the moon got jealous because she wasn't getting enough attention, so she turned evil."
PG: "Oh no!"
WG: "Yeah, so the older sister used something called the Elements of Harmony to banish the younger sister permanently in the moon, thereby making her the sole ruler of everything!"
PG: "So what does banish in the moon even mean?"
WG: "What are you talking about?"
PG: "So is the sister literally stuck in the moon, like her legs are trapped in there, or is it kind of her spirit that's trapped in the moon?"
WG: "Unclear, but a symbol of her will appear on the moon that the ponies call the Mare in the Moon."
PG: "Okay."
WG: "Anyway, we find out that this is all part of a story being read by the main character of the show, Twilight Sparkle, and she's the personal student of Princess Celestia, the princess who isn't stuck in the moon. Twilight is a unicorn, so she can do magic."
PG: "Well, okay, then."
WG: "And I was thinking we could get arguably the greatest voice actress of all time to play her."
PG: "That works!"
WG: "Oh good. So reading this story gets Twilight all nervous, since she knows about a prophecy that says that the younger sister will return from the moon when the stars align."
PG: "Wait, I though that you said Celestia banished her permanently."
WG: "Yeah."
PG: "Permanently means forever, right?"
WG: "It does, yes."
PG: "So why is there this prophecy about her escaping? Did Celestia intend to banish her permanently, or did she always plan on her sister coming back? Who wrote the prophecy? If Celestia banished her forever, did she have somebody tell her about the stars and she went 'whoops, that didn't work.' What about--"
WG: "Listen sir, I'm gonna need you to get aaaalll the way off my back about this prophecy thing."
PG: "Okay, let me off of that thing, then!"
WG: "Thanks. So Twilight wants to talk to Celestia about this whole prophecy thing, but Celestia won't talk to her about that, saying that her and her dragon friend/son/servant... something... named Spike go to this place called Ponyville to set up the Summer Sun Celebration."
PG: "Well the whole evil pony who wants to take over all of the world sounds like a more important issue."
WG: "Yeah, but Princess Celestia sends her to Ponyville to set up the celebration and make friends, because Twilight is basically a hermit who spends all of her time reading books."
PG: "It still sounds like Celestia is ignoring the bigger issue. Is she one of those characters that knows what's going to happen, but manipulates the events and people around her while being vague and cryptic so that everything will turn out how she wants?"
WG: "You have no idea, sir. Sometimes she hits Dumbledore levels. Anyway, Twilight and Spike go to Ponyville, and it's just a quiet little town where nothing bad happens."
PG: "Okay."
WG: "For now. So the first pony that Twilight runs into is all pink and is just kind of walking down the street. Twilight says hi, but then the pink pony gasps and jumps twelve feet in the air before dashing off like a cartoon character."
PG: "Well, I mean she is--"
WG: "So she goes around Ponyville and meets the other ponies who are setting up the Summer Sun Celebration. There's Applejack, who's a gun away from being a Texan, there's Rainbow Dash who is fast and cocky, there's Rarity who Spike instantly falls in love with..."
PG: "Wait, how old is Spike?"
WG: "Unclear, but he's probably about eight to ten years younger than Rarity."
PG: "That's... kind of an odd thing to put--"
WG: "And we also meet Fluttershy, who is shy and quiet."
PG: "So I assume we'll get more in depth with these characters as the show goes on."
WG: "Oh, of course. This show will be going for a long time."
PG: "Well, we haven't even made the pilot yet, so we're not sure if--"
WG: "A loooooonnggg time. Anyway, Twilight and Spike go with Fluttershy to the local library, which is in a tree."
PG: "A tree? That's kind of an odd place to put a library."
WG: "It is a cartoon. So Twilight and Spike go into the library where all of the lights are off, and Twilight says that she wants to go home because this entire town is crazy."
PG: "Kind of rude, but okay."
WG: "Then the lights turn on and it turns out that that pink cartoon pony named Pinkie Pie threw Twilight and Spike a welcome party and invited the whole town!"
PG: "Wait, so when everybody was waiting to surprise her, they heard her say that everybody was crazy, and they're okay with that?"
WG: "I guess Ponyville is hard to offend."
PG: "I guess. So the whole town is there?"
WG: "Pretty much."
PG: "Well, we'll have to make sure that there aren't any background ponies who are animation errors. We want this show to look good.
WG: "If we do have an animation error with one of the ponies, I'm sure nobody is going to notice. Anyway, eventually they go to town hall where it's time to raise the sun."
PG: "Wait, inside? Wouldn't it be better for them to be outside to see her raise the sun since, you know, that's how they could see it? Even if they were going to go outside to see it later, why bother being inside in the first place?"
WG: "Maybe because town hall is easier to decorate. Anyway, the curtains get pulled back to reveal Celestia, but she's not there!"
PG: "Oh no!"
WG: "Instead it's the evil sister, Nightmare Moon, and she says that she's going to make the night last forever! She blasts some guards out of the air to show that she's powerful!"
PG: "Wait, guards? Why weren't they with Princess Celestia?"
WG: "To show how powerful Nightmare Moon is! We wouldn't get it otherwise."
PG: "And when did Nightmare Moon beat Celestia? You'd think that someone would hear some kind of struggle when Nightmare Moon took over, or did Celestia just let herself get defeated because she has plans, or something? Wouldn't she at least put up a little fight so that Nightmare Moon didn't catch on that Celestia was planning something?"
WG: "Hey shut up. Then Twilight goes back to the tree library with the other ponies, and they start trying to figure out how to beat Nightmare Moon so the night doesn't last forever."
PG: "Hey, wouldn't the night lasting forever be a bad thing beyond the sun being gone? I mean, after a few weeks or so everybody would freeze to death, and since Nightmare Moon has been in the moon for a thousand years, I'm guessing she's immortal, or something, so if she was jealous that nobody enjoyed her night, it would be worse if she was living along on a frozen planet with nothing to do and nobody to talk to."
WG: "Well, I'm sure she'd think of something to do. So Twilight and the rest of them find out that Nightmare Moon might be defeated by something called the Elements of Harmony, which have been missing for a thousand years. Laughter, Honesty, Loyalty, Kindness, Generosity and a sixth one that they don't know. The reference guide that they have says that they're probably in a place called the Everfree Forest, which is really dangerous!"
PG: "So they're missing, but it says that they might be in this dangerous forest that just happens to border Ponyville."
WG: "Pretty convenient, right? So the six of them go to the forest and start blindly walking around. At one point they almost fall off a cliff, but Applejack catches Twilight just before she falls off of the cliff, then says that Twilight needs to let go and everything will be okay and she's telling her the honest truth. Twilight does, and Rainbow and Fluttershy catch her before she hits the ground, just like they did with Pinkie Pie and Rarity ten seconds earlier."
PG: "So why was Applejack being so vague? I mean, she could have just said 'hey, Rainbow and Fluttershy are ready to catch you.'"
WG: "So that we could showcase her honesty."
PG: "I mean, I guess. What else happens?"
WG: "Then they keep going through the forest to find the castle where the Elements might be. Along the way they calm a manticore down by taking a thorn out of its paw, laugh at some trees..."
PG: "Wait, they--"
WG: "Rarity gives her tail to make a sea serpent have a full mustache again..."
PG: "Hang on, why did they need to--"
WG: "And then Rainbow Dash goes to fix the bridge to the castle, but she's stopped when three random evil looking ponies who kind of sound like Nightmare Moon come out of the trees claiming to be a great flying group who needs a captain."
PG: "And this doesn't set off any alarm bells for Rainbow Dash?"
WG: "Not a one, so she fixes the bridge and they all finally make it to the castle. They get inside and it starts collapsing, and Twilight runs deeper into the castle to find the Elements while the rest try not to die. She luckily walks into the exact room she needs to, and finds the Elements! Then Nightmare Moon shows up and smashes the Elements to pieces!
PG: "Oh no! It's going to be hard for Twilight to beat Nightmare Moon all alone and without the Elements!"
WG: "Actually it's going to be super easy! Barely an inconvenience!"
"PG: "Oh really?!"
WG: "Yes, because the other five are fine and they start looking for Twilight. When she hears them, her eyes spark, and she realizes that everything they've been through has made them friends! She tells Nightmare Moon that she didn't really destroy the Elements, since the spirit of the Elements were her friends, and they all make an epic pose!"
PG: "Did they practice that pose beforehand? How did the other five know to do that?"
"WG: "Doesn't matter. Then Twilight describes how each of her fiends showcased one of the Elements, and when she does, the broken Element shards begin swirling around that pony."
PG: "So what does Nightmare Moon do? Things are clearly starting to go bad. Does she try to escape or fight them before Twilight can finish telling her why the Elements aren't destroyed?"
WG: "She doesn't. She just kind of stands there, because this is a cartoon, and Nightmare Moon defending herself by blasting the six of them to bloody pieces wouldn't be very child friendly."
PG: "Fair point. So do they find the sixth Element?"
WG: "Yeah, because it turns out that the six Element was magic all along!"
PG: "Guess it's good that Twilight is a unicorn, then. If she wasn't would she still be able to channel the magic?"
WG: "Irrelevant. So yeah, they blast Nightmare Moon with the Elements, and she turns good. Princess Celestia shows up, and the sun rises and everything is okay now and it also turns out that she was the one doing the narrating in the beginning."
PG: "Wow wow wow.... wow."
WG: "So yeah, the all go back to Ponyville and everybody celebrates the return of the sister, Princess Luna."
PG: "They're not mad or scared that half an hour ago she tried to bring an eternal night that would make them all freeze to death?"
WG: "Nope! Remember that they all heard Twilight call them crazy, so they just kind of go with it."
PG: "I guess..."
WG: "So what do you think about it?"
PG: "Well it sounds like it cold be a fun show. It should be a hit with little girls."
WG: "Uh..."
You know, now that I'm hearing it out loud...
Luls, I can just hear this in Ryan George's voice.
5703116
Well good. I was hoping for that.
A remarkable number of people forget that season 1 of FiM was pretty messy in terms of writing and worldbuilding. This captures that perfectly.
Pretty sure they need to cast a woman for the role of Writer "Guy" since we all know that Lauren Faust made the pitch.
5703119 The writers and animators absolutely *nailed* the first sixty seconds of the first episode. They defined the world, the main conflict, introduced the hero, let the audience know generally how this was going to go, and let 'er rip. Just like Up, that intro should be taught in every animation class, ever.
For Writer Guy, hear Pinkie Pie?
To be fair this WAS season 1 Dash...
WG: " And so Twilight and her friends shoot Nightmare Moon with a rainbow of harmony."
PG: " Shooting ponies with a rainbow is tight."
5703126
You totally nailed the tone and style of the videos.