Preview and update: Shining Armour's Checklist. · 4:38pm Dec 12th, 2022
Hey, all. Just popping in to say I'll be trying to stick to some better habits in the future. I'm cutting down on all the sites that are distracting or otherwise leading to bad and unhealthy behaviour on my end. As such, I'll only be logging in when I have something to publish from now on. I'll also keep communication while I'm logged in to a minimum, just to avoid any unpleasantness. Hopefully this'll help get more productive things done.
I've got a decent enough sample size from my experiment with disabling comments and ratings, and since there won't be an immediate need to continue that, they are now enabled on all the stories.
Anyway, first thing to finish is a oneshot, then I've got some big ideas for multi-parter stories that might take a while to get done, hopefully I can salvage the Brass Tack stories after that awful start, and beyond that, who knows? I've got a bucket full of things that need doing, and a long list of reasons why they're not getting done.
But here's a little snippet of what I'm working on. Think of it as a spiritual precursor to Power Word: Weak.
Shining Armour's Checklist.
Part 1: The Royal Jelly Bakery, or Why Crystal Ponies need to learn public planning.
In the darker times of Equestria, before the arrival of the pilgrims of the Frozen Continent and before the rule of King Sombra, the Crystal Empire had a little bakery. Within this bakery, grandmasters of the craft produced a particular roll made with jam and cream, following a recipe older than magic itself, according to some sources. The bakery was famous within the Empire, so much so that it was considered a place of learning for any who wished to make the Crystal Empire’s signature rolls, and that even the royal family would come to them for any banquet orders. Many legends and faerie tales of old would mention it in one way or another: Ponocchio, the wooden colt, famously evaded capture by the slavers of the Black Coast because a kind baker with a sparkling coat put him in a giant cake. Ali Baabaa, the Wooly Prince of Thieves, gained access to the Cave of 40 Swindlers by offering a guard dog a sesame seed bun purchased from a glittering pony. Most famously Aerielle, the Little Seapony (whose clearly air-themed name still caused arguments among scholars), regained her voice after sampling the wares of a pony with a diamond-like coat, only recently confirmed to have probably been a Crystal Pony baker.
It was only natural, then, for the newly minted Prince of the Crystal Empire (even after a night's sleep, that title felt weird) to want to visit this legendary bakery and see about getting the royal supplies back in order. Shining Armour had expected some difficulty, seeing as the Empire itself was the stuff of legends and the baking was really only thing that had survived all the history rewrites.
Problem one was that in all the legends, whether they featured apprentices or the actual bakery, no one ever mentioned where said bakery was supposed to be in the Crystal Empire.
Problem two was Crystal Ponies apparently didn’t believe in labelling their streets, or painting numbers on houses.
In hindsight, crystals and paint didn’t mix all that well, so he couldn’t blame them.
Undaunted, Shining Armour went to the Crystal Heart and pondered his Royal Guard training for any clue as to what to do. And after standing around and doing nothing for five minutes, as per protocol, he headed out in a random direction. He went past Unnamed Crystal Street number one, took a left, found himself at the library, took a right, went straight ahead, then followed that street for as long as it ran, figuring that the bakery would at least be close to the palace.
He found himself back at the Crystal Heart. He’d gotten turned around somehow.
“Okay, that’s weird.”
Scratching his head, he decided to change tactics. The chimneys, that would be a good way to tell. Bakeries were open early, he knew, and the Empire had its own magic-powered microclimate, so the only chimneys smoking would have to be the ones with baking going on.
He took a step in another random direction and looked up.
Nothing but smoke plumes on every single residence.
He grunted. “I guess Sombra must have brought the cold with him.”
Finally giving up, he decided to ask a passerby.
“Excuse me, I’m trying to find the bakery. The one that makes the cakes for the royal family?”
“Oh, of course. It’s right that way,” the mare, a Crystal Unicorn, pointed down the way he’d gone first. He wasn’t far off, at least. “Just follow the street for about five minutes, you can’t miss it.”
“Thank you.” With a nod, he walked on. He followed the street, kept his head on a swivel, he even sniffed the air a few times just in case.
He found himself walking back towards the Crystal Heart again.
“Did I get turned around?”
He retraced his steps, now stomping audibly. He followed the street, passing by house after house, but no bakery. Crystal Empire architecture was weird, but surely it couldn’t lead him in circles? Not with Sombra gone.
Still, he arrived back at the Crystal Heart.
“Are you lost, Your Highness?”
“No,” he replied in a reflex. Turning around, he found himself face to face with a pair of Crystal Guards: one Earth pony and one Pegasus.
“You seem to be going in circles,” said the Pegasus.
“I am not going in circles: I’m patrolling. Military term.” Shining gritted his teeth. He hated having to lie, but he wasn’t about to lose his authority over the guards on his first day.
Idea's rough around the edges, but it's in progress.
Edit 17/12: first draft is roughly done, so refining the whole thing now. Hoping to publish late January or February.
