//------------------------------// // Birds of a Feather // Story: Sunshine and Tia // by RunicTreetops //------------------------------// “Alright, I suppose I should be off.” Celestia slings a bag over her shoulder as she stands next to the front door. Her clothing could best be described as “business casual.” She wears a nice, well-tailored shirt and skirt, but they’re not quite fancy enough to be “fit for a princess,” as it were. Her mane is tied back into a ponytail, which only accentuates the vibe she’s going for. If anything, her appearance looks like something you’d expect a businessmare to wear to a casual conference. Which is appropriate, since that is exactly where she’s going. “A whole week, huh? It’s been a while since we’ve been apart that long.” “Since before we got married, I believe. Hmhm.” She narrows her eyes as a sly grin makes its way to her face. “You’ll be okay without me around to take care of you, right~?” Her voice is light and playful as she teases him. He responds with a chuckle of his own as he rubs the back of his head. “I think I’ll manage. Can the same be said of you? You’re not gonna have your big strong man to take care of you all the way out in the Crystal Empire.” “Princess Celestia does not need a ‘big strong man’ to take care of her, thank you very much.” “And what about Regular Celestia, housewife/occasional guest at royal conferences?” “She’s more than capable of protecting herself. And kicking her husband’s ass.” “Hah! Ain’t that the truth.” The two share a laugh before Anon steps forward. His body language makes it clear that he’s about to give her a hug and a kiss, and she smiles as she prepares to do the same. They lean forward, their lips mere inches apart. They grow closer and closer until finally they– “OW OW OW!” The sound of rapid, flapping wings fills the quiet room as a beautiful phoenix with vibrant yellow, orange, and red feathers flies out of seemingly nowhere to land on Celestia’s shoulder, immediately using this position to peck at Anon angrily and force him away from her owner. “Oh, Philomena, stop that!” Anon stumbles back and covers his eye with his hand. It didn’t do any real damage, but it still hurt. He growls as Philomena begins to rub her head against Celestia’s own, causing her to sigh as a warm smile spreads across her face. She brings a hoof to the fiery avian and begins to stroke at her warm, delicate feathers. “I’m gonna toss that darn bird out one of these days, mark my words.” “Now, Sunshine, you will do no such thing! Don’t forget, I’ve had her longer than I’ve had you.” Philomena makes a strange squawk-like noise as she points her head towards Anon. Although he can’t understand her, it’s quite clear that she’s taunting him. How a phoenix can look cocky, he’ll never know. But she is damn good at getting under his skin either way. “Tsk.” “Oh, don’t be like that. Besides, I expect you to take care of her while I’m gone.” “Yeah, yeah.” Anon crosses his arms and pouts as he looks away from his wife and her annoying pet.  “Sunshine, don’t make me put my hoof down.” “I’m gonna, really!” He looks back at her again, though he’s clearly not happy. “I’m not planning on starving your dumb bird.” He lets out a long, drawn-out sigh. “Though it would be nice if the bird showed some respect back.” “Squee!” Philomena puffs out her chest angrily at his remark, but begins to calm down as Celestia nudges her. Slowly, she sets her down on the back of a nearby chair, causing her to sheepishly perch there. “You two will get along while I’m gone. That’s an order.” Anon and Philomena glance at each other, their eyes immediately narrowing. There’s a tense silence for a long moment before they finally speak up again. “...Fine.” “Coo.” “That’s better.” With a satisfied nod, Celestia steps forward and gives her husband a peck on the cheek. Then, she turns to the chair and does the same for her phoenix. “I’ll see you two later! Don’t kill each other, and don’t burn the house down!” “We won’t. Later, Tia.” With a smile, Celestia finally steps outside, gingerly closing the door behind her. Anon and Philomena stay perfectly still as they listen to the sound of her hoofsteps getting further and further away. The moment they’re no longer within audible range, Philomena takes off from her perch directly at Anon. He, in turn, takes up a defensive stance. Their battle has only just begun. Four days later in the heart of the Crystal Empire, Celestia sits at a large table surrounded by Princess Cadance, Prince Shining Armor, Princess Twilight Sparkle, and Queen Novo. They leisurely play a game of cards while making small talk, none bothering with any sort of formality. “Was it really a good idea to take a group vacation and label it a ‘conference?’” Twilight ponders. “Hah! That question is all I need to know that you’re still new to the world of politics, Princess.” Novo laughs as she throws down her hand, earning a few aggravated groans from Cadance and Shining Armor. “If we didn’t make such claims,” Celestia says calmly with her familiar warm smile still plastered across her face, “we’d never get to take any vacations.” “Hm. I suppose that’s true… er, Princess?” “It’s just ‘Celestia’ now, Twilight.” “W-well, ‘Celestia,’ are you okay?” “Hm?” “You look… frightened.” “I do?” Celestia looks down at herself, only to notice her floof standing on end. Suddenly alert, she observes the rest of her body. Sure enough, all of her hair is standing up. A weight begins to settle in her chest. “Hm. Oh dear.” “Is something wrong?” “My wife senses are going off.” “Your… what?” “Hah! Ohh, I know that feeling.” Cadance sits back in her seat, a sly grin on her face. “Sounds like Anon is doing something he’s not supposed to.” “C-Cadance? You know what she’s talking about?” “New to politics AND to families, I see.” Novo snickers as she deals a new hand of cards. “It’s intuition, Twilight. Spouses know when their other half is getting up to something they shouldn’t. It’s like a natural law.” “B-but that doesn’t make any sense!” “Sorry, Twi.” Shining sounds confident, but he fails to maintain his poker face as he sees the hand he was dealt. “They’re right. It’s all intuition.” “So, what do you think it is this time?” Unlike her husband, Cadance looks quite happy with her cards. “I’m not sure. Hrm.” Celestia’s eyes narrow even further as she comes to a realization. “Unless…” “That doesn’t sound good.” “I have a bad feeling I’m going to come home to a mutilated human or a well-cooked bird. Or both.” “Do you want to call this ‘conference’ short?” “...Nah.” Celestia leans back comfortably in her seat, her floof finally settling down. “Right now, it’s not my problem. Besides.” Her horn glows as she throws her cards down onto the table. “Read ‘em and weep.” “Aw, COME ON!” Shining’s head hits the table in frustration, and the space is filled with raucous laughter. “Alright, which one of you is dead?” Celestia calls into her home as she steps through the front door, carefully removing her bag and placing it on a nearby table as she does so. The house is dark and silent, immediately filling her with a sense of unease. “Sunshine? Philomena?” Her ears twitch adorably as she tries to listen for any sign of movement or life in the house. Finally, after several seconds of what she assumes to be silence, a quiet, almost imperceptible sound graces those ears of hers. She raises an eyebrow, unsure of what the sound even is. If she had to guess, she’d say it’s coming from the living room. Carefully creeping through the house as gently as she can, she silently peers around the corner into the sizable living room. She is taken aback by what she sees. Leaning back against the sofa is her husband, his eyes closed and his mouth hanging open as a very, very quiet snore escapes him. His arms are folded over his chest, but he looks quite comfortable.  And there, perched on his shoulder and leaning on his head for support, is Philomena, who is sleeping just as peacefully as he is. “Aww~!” She covers her mouth as she involuntarily vocalizes her thoughts on the sight before her. Unfortunately, it’s enough to cause Philomena to pick her head up, which in turn makes Anon do the same. “Hm? …Tia!” Anon suddenly stands up, a wide grin on his face. While she expects Philomena to take off and beat him to her, she remains perched on his shoulder and allows him to carry her right up to her owner. Without hesitation, Anon throws his arms around his wife, with Philomena repositioning herself onto Celestia’s shoulder in the process. “H-hello, Sunshine. Good day, Philomena.” “Coo!” “Hah, what’s that tone for? You sound surprised.” “I-I sort of am! Just a week ago the two of you were at each other’s throats!” “Hm? Oh, you mean Philomena and I?” Anon pulls away as he looks at the phoenix in question. His confusion quickly turns to amusement as he gives his wife a peck on the cheek. “Nah, we got over it.” “You… got over it?” “Well, yeah. Being mad all the time is exhausting.” “Ca-caw!” “What she said.” “Wh-what did she say?” “Well, I’m not fluent in phoenix quite yet, but I believe she said that constantly fighting when we have the same goal is pointless. It’s a lot easier to just do it together.” “And that goal is?” “Making you happy, duh!” “...Awwwwwww!” Celestia throws her arms around the pair, and the room seems to light up thanks to the joy shared between them. They stay like that for some time before she finally pulls away. “How was the conference?” “It went well, but I think I’m ready to relax for a while.” “Don’t worry, I’ve already got dinner on the stove. It should be ready soon.” “Thank you, Sunshine. If you’ll excuse me, I think I’m gonna rest on the couch for a while.” With a tired grin, she begins to walk past Anon and towards the sofa. To her surprise, however, Philomena steps off of her shoulder and lands on Anon’s own. “O-oh?” “Sorry, Tia. My shoulders are broader than yours. I guess it’s more comfortable this way for her.” Philomena lets out a happy tweet as she nods at his words. “Um… okay?” With a confused shake of her head, she finishes her walk to the sofa and gets comfortable. Meanwhile, Anon gives her a satisfied nod and makes his way into the kitchen, taking Philomena with him. Everything went well. Her family is fine. In fact, they’re better than ever. The ‘conference’ went smoothly. She’s home. She’s comfortable. She really shouldn’t have anything to complain about, and she definitely shouldn’t be harboring any negative feelings in that floofy chest of hers. And yet, as Celestia watches Anon walk away with Philomena perched on his shoulder, she can’t help but to feel a little jealous.