With Sunset Shimmer now on Rainbow Dash’s team, Canterlot High School will now have to travel around the world, visit many places, and with a little bit of energy, play soccer against other schools. They’ll defend their winning streak as one of the best high school footballers in the world.
They have their own rules of football: skill, training, strategy, teamwork and, in Sunset’s case, friendship. It’s more than enough to keep in top form and win their way to the championship game.
The question is: how long can they hold on their own?
Update 3/13/2022: The story was renamed. I hope it sounds catchy.
Editor: Arkadios. And we collaborated.
I need more
More I tell you
MOOOOORRRRREEEE
11152497
Relax, okay? I'm getting there but more will be out soon.
I still find it to be bad timing to release a Soccer story called "Football Adventures" a day after the Super Bowl, but I digress. Its an interesting concept for sure
11152508
You mean "Soccer."
And yes, I'm sorry. I never knew the Super Bowl was yesterday.
Flash taught her how to use her hands not feet so that didn't answer the question. Also, shouldn't she already be used to having only two feet. Unless Flash also taught her football, but still why bring up him teaching her guitar.
Then why assign positions if she has to do tryouts?
Didn't they already know that since I assume there was only one space available unless they simply did too poor to make the cut, which I don't buy since they seemed to have done decently well.
Wouldn't that be cheating? Unless the other team has them and if so, wouldn't the school provide them?
Shouldn't the school have provided transportation. I can accpet them going to different countries since it's a story, but to ignore and not have the school itself take part in providing uniforms or at least the ride there is a bit much. Shouldn't the school be the ones behind all this?
Nice that you are not having Sunset be unbeatable and it's a challenge for her, which was one worry I had.
And I'm sure to her the third thing is the worst
Nice start despite my minor issues. Nice to see Sunset not carrying the team and actual teamwork being used, though I hope others have the chance to shine and score the winning goal.
11152516
One, my editor helping rewrite the paragraph where Sunset explains her footy skills. Sure, you can ask all you want, but remember that Arkadios helped me with the editing.
Two, before writing this story, I already discussed this with other MLP fans, even bringing up with Rarity owning a private jet, some of them suggested me to established that her family is pretty rich and whatnot. In the next chapter, I will established that as planned.
Three, the team needs spike grips underneath their shoes so they don't slip on the slippery pitch. Twilight provided them with thermal clothes and Rarity with warmer kits.
And four, just because Sunset has a super spin doesn't mean she's unbeatable. In sports, everyone has a weakness. Keep that in mind.
And I hope you enjoyed reading.
11152521
You seemed to have ignored some my issues.
1: My issue was she didn't answer the question. Answering how she learned guitar and used her hands isn't addressing how she is great using her feet. No offense but that shouldn't have required editing. Just have her say Flash taught her football and since she arrived at that point, she worked hard to get better to the point she can rival and sneak pass Rainbow, like she did in the beginning.
2: My issue wasn't Rarity owning the jet, though I was wondering about that, but you ignoring, even after bringing them up, the school. Shouldn't they be the ones to provide for them to go and be prepared for the games? What if Rarity didn't have the jet? Shit out of luck?
3: Does the other team have them too? If not, it's cheating. Again, why didn't the school provide them instead of Twilight and Rarity having too? Are you actually going to address my issues?
4: Considering you made the move too op in Mane Mothers and even made Sunset too great at practically every aspect during tryouts, even stuff I am sure aren't part of tryouts in real life, which is fine by the way, made it more interesting. She just seemed too op in the beginning that i think my worry was justified. It would help if you actually explored and show a weakness for all, instead of an unbelievably skilled goalie on the opposing team. Maybe a personality flaw for an opponent to capitalize on?
11152523
Ark and I were so focused on getting my story polished. Even when Ark is busy, I was so focused on fixing my tenses in the story. I'm being proactive at that point just to improve my writing without thinking about some of the aspects of my story.
If you want to see Sunset's weakness, then maybe wait for the next few chapters or more. I don't know.
If a high school is in the middle of the snow, why do you think they can play soccer on the snow so easily? And without the spikey grips, they'll lose their balance on the pitch and barely stay on their feet. Sunset and the team will embarrassed themselves.
Do you want to know how Twilight's thermal clothes worked? They helped you handled the worse conditions adding with Rarity's warmer kits.
And about Rarity owning a private jet, yes, you're right. The school should've been behind all of that but again, me and my editor were busy with polishing my story. And I already discussed this with others and one of them suggested the type of private jet and I took it. I know this bothers you but you have to understand.
I'm sorry but I'm just doing what I'm doing. Even with the help of some other people I talked to.
11152526
I didn't complain about them having them. As long as the other team had them too. I understand they needed it, but again them having it period wasn't my issue at all. At the very least have it mentioned the school agreed to use Rarity's jet when she offered to help spare their budget, since that is a huge issue with public schools and the same for the uniforms. Please stop acting like I am arguing something I am not. I don't understand how you could get that from my comments, but whatever.
11152530
Let's stop arguing now, okay?
Again, just wait for a few chapters or more for Sunset's weakness, and also an explanation of Rarity being super rich and the school board is fine with that.
11152534
Seriously? You misinterpret what I said and when I clarified and I had to do it more than once, since you acted like I was arguing something I wasn't and after I made it clear, instead of admitting your mistake, you decided to try to take the moral high ground and suggest we stop "arguing". Come on dude. I wasn't really arguing with you. I was just clarifying for you what I meant since you failed to understand it. I accept your reasoning and will wait to see your answers.
11152538
Okay.... I planned this story for a while now. But what else you want me to do to meet your expectations?
If I'm being blunt, it makes me frustrated a little.
11152548
All I want is a simple apology for misinterpreting what I said. Like I said I accept your decisions with the fic for now and wait to see them addressed in the story. Is that clear enough for you to understand what I mean?
11152550
Okay. I'm so sorry. I don't know what to admit with some issues in my story.
11152552
Like I said I accept your decisions for now.
11152516
The first thing you mentioned was the only bit you brought up where I was actively involved. I figured leaving it in was cool because it was related. "Hey, y'know how I whipped out those fancy shredding skills on you the other week? Yeah, I picked that up when I was trying to get myself settled in, and the same with soccer."
And even if it's a distraction, I don't think it's egregious enough to warrant calling out.
11152521
And I'm not a scapegoat here. I did what I could, but there wasn't much I could do.
11152884
You did what you could. Thank you again.
11152877
How is her learning something that involved using her hands related to answering how she got skilled at using her feet. When I first was reading it, I literally had the thought of "what? did she somehow learned how to play guitar using her feet?", but no it's her bragging about something unrelated. It is worth calling out because how does revealing you learned how to do something using one body part reveal how you got skilled at using a different body part. That is my point. Plain and simple. I don't know how you two missed it and making me have to repeat it multiple times.
11153381
Again, you're nitpicking. It's okay to drop in the occasional detail.
11153386
I mean if you two would have actually included an answer that actually answered the question than yeah you would have a point, but since you didn't, I don't think I am. Thank you for indirectly admitting I have a point, since all you can do is complain about me nitpicking.
11153388
And you're so offended at the idea of an argument.
11153389
Lol no I am not. Maybe if you actually brought up some arguments I would show you, instead of being dismissive and now it seems to me that you are projecting. I made my point. Whatever you or more accurately to say MASTERMIND360 decides to do about it is up to them.
11153388
Okay, we get your issue. And since it's my story, all I want to do is move on and keep moving forward. And hopefully I'll try not to suck when writing my next chapter.
Cool story. Added to my read list.
Soccer? What is soccer?
11153940
It's a footy sport. Try and do some research.
Where is the story image from?
So, is it a inazuma eleven-like story ?
Стоп-стоп-стоп! Грузия "самая холодная страна"?! Вы издеваетесь?
Пожалуйста, откройте учебник географии. Эта страна находиться буквально на юге на побережье Черного моря. Туда отдыхать едут, а вы мне про холода
Извините, если написано с ошибками. Я не говорю на английском, но я знаю географию. Поверьте , есть страны и похолоднее. Возьмите ту же Норвегию или Финляндию
Stop, stop, stop! Georgia is the "coldest country"?! Are you kidding me?
Please open the geography textbook. This country is located literally in the south on the Black Sea coast. People spend vacations there, and you tell me about the cold
Sorry if it is written with errors. I don't speak English, but I know geography. Believe me, there are colder countries. Take the same Norway or Finland
11164122
Noted. I'll do a little bit of research next time.
not bad, not bad at all.
11164122
My country is pretty cold in the winter.
11167224
Why, thank you
11167296
Yep, I can see that.
11167296
Я об этом и говорю
That's what I'm talking about
What does Rarity have to do with this? Weird to bring her up when she isn't even with them.
That line makes no sense as a comeback. If she would have been hypocritical about it, then sure. Have her talk about how beautiful she is before then and had her say.
Lightning dust: You shouldn't make a big deal and brag about it.
If this doesn't lead to human Sunset appearing and her being an agent like in mane mothers that fixes that and allows Sunny to travel without any issues, I will flip. Well, if that gets ignored and doesn't lead to anything, I will flip ten times as hard.
I can when you were a complete brat that went mad with power and control, over the idea of being a princess, that you ruined your relationship with your former mentor and escaped to another world where you laid low for I assume years and despite that time you didn't grow up and ruled the school with fear somehow, until you saw an opportunity to fulfilled your childish bratty evil goal, which in turn brought magic into a world that is supposed to be void of it and caused threats and magic from equestria to pop up from time to time. In short if you would have simply been a better person or even learned much sooner you wouldn't have done all that. So, yes, I do blame you.
No human sunset then
Though you did have a reasonable explanation for it not to leading Sunset getting exposed, but there is one problem.
Her previous statement seems to contradict it. Why didn't she explain that before instead of acting like she just caused a way for them and Sunset to get exposed?
Wait, if she did tryouts last year to get used to having two feet, why wasn't she already on the team and had to join again? Considering it's implied by how many times she won princess of the fall formal it has been three years, so wouldn't she already be used to it by then. Then again, the whole equestria timeline doesn't really line up especially when you compare it to the main series. Still I would appreciate a little clarification on how it is here in this fic.
What does that mean? Was she on the team during her bullying days and could take advantage of her disadvantage, even though again she just joined the team well after, despite doing tryouts last year to practice being on her feet.
So she was being a hypocrite then. Still, would have been nice to make that clear before she did her hypocritical statement. Show don't tell.
I mean what good could Sunset's mind reading powers be even if she uses them on the team captain. Executing moves is still different then playing them out on paper and what is stopping them from adapting and changing their plans, assuming they come up with them before the game and not during it.
Since Sunset isn't the one who spoke the first sentence Start the next sentence, Sunset snapped out of her thoughts and turned to her friend, as a new paragraph. It flows better and not confuse someone into thinking it's Sunset talk to herself. Also, Sunshim? Call it nitpicky but Sunny is an infinitely better nick name for her.
Keep telling yourself that only makes sense if you tell someone to wait for something that happens in the future not something that happened in the past
Needs an extra space.
You were in the lead by two points, so you have no right to bitch.
Has Sunset picked on her after or before the fall formal incident? Again, when did she join the team?
Wait she became mentor after Derpy joined the team and yet it's her mentorship paying off that lead to her joining?
As someone that doesn't know shit about sports, I know and understand every position has its role even if it's not flashy or exciting. It seems to be a bit demeaning to refer to their position as well they are that, but it's ok. Well, no shit. They still have a role to play, and they still help the team win. You bringing that up feels unnecessary.
Arrives in new world in new body.
Despite being in new body tastebuds and digestive system is still the same as when she was a pony.
Totally legit.
Needs another space.
Are the other rainbooms cheerleader joining them? Or at least Rarity, Pinkie, and Twilight?
Another space.
What does that mean. What point did Rarity make? You will hear her despite being too quiet and she has been working on being louder? If so it wasn't that clear.
Every shot is challenging to her
Sunset's special move is the only one she can't block.
Those statements don't connect all that well, unless you mean not many shots are a challenge for her.
Celestia: You try running a school for years with hundreds of human teenagers who at that age tend to be rebellious and that is not even getting into the magical mishaps. You try dealing with that responsibility of running a school before you tell me to lay off on my coffee.
What does that mean? Our bodies always react 100% If you mean she isn't the quickest to act that is a weird way to put it.
Nice chapter though there are a few mistakes and questions I have. In short. When did Sunset join the team exactly? You made me confused about that and seemed to contradict yourself. I await your answer.
11179400
You have a lot of questions which I understand, but I can only answer a few.
Well, some players were already in the Wondercolts long before Sunset's reign of terror ends in the Fall Formal. Targeting everyone including Lightning Dust while she's in the team, and Derpy before and after she joined. And when she joined, Gilda had to defend her from Sunset.
When Lightning says "everyone" she meant "her classmates in CHS".
Looking back in the first chapter, I meant to say that Sunset learnt soccer prior to her early days in the human world. I mean, she has some impressive skills before joining the team. I always have a headcanon that Friendship Games took place a year after Battle of The Bands. She joined the team after beating the Sirens. So there's that.
I was thinking of Lightning Dust kind of a mixture of Rarity and Rainbow Dash? Yes, I know what MLP LD is like but I thought of the mixture personality for human LD would do. Like, Lightning Dust being an egoistic athlete who's tomboyish, selfish, and annoying but she's also concerned of her looks but she doesn't behave exactly like Rarity. Well, you'll see.
11179418
You didn't make that clear until you clarified. Rainbow didn't know either so she should have been clearer from the get go instead of acting like they were exposed on stream.
Ok both of those weren't clear. In fact when I first read the first chapter I assumed it took place after the whole series and the after the battle of bands was just a generic statement of when her life got better and not it establishing that is when the chapter took place. You should be more clear on that kind of thing in the future, especially since the same chapter showed sci twi making something for the team after the tryouts without a clear time skip showing it was a whole year later.
Again she didn't come across as hypocritical so Spitfire's come back makes no sense. You should rework it to actually make her such.
11179431
Welp, I gotta fix those.
11179431
I made some changes. I hope it helps.
You didn't exactly fix my main issue. You really only applied a small band aid fix to a broken arm. Despite, saying followers, the others think she exposed them to the world and still she doesn't clarify until Rainbow, the second person to call her out.
Rainbow: Yeah I don't know either.
Sunset: But you're the captain. You had to have seen it!
Rainbow: Uhhhh... I don't know I just haven't seen it somehow.
I guess present tense is better. Good enough.
I didn't think to ask before, but does she have diarrhea or something?
Not going to address or acknowledged that since her body changed so should have her taste buds and digestive system. No, somehow, she can digest food like that. Ok then
I guess the changes are ok even if they are minor.
Lightning Dust, a livestreamer.
That is simultaneously the most unexpected and most fitting role for her.
Do they have cutie marks in the EQG universe?
11190792
Obviously, yes.
11190793
I didn't think they existed in the show - well, certainly not as cutie marks on their skin at least
It would be more like a tattoo or logo on clothing
11190799
It seems that way in the human world.
Wait, what does that mean? They used the same strategy the home team used before against others against them? that wasn't established. Yeah, that narration makes no sense. Unless it means them outlasting them in the heat, which like I point out should be impossible or it's unbelievable for them to have done so here. I think I better stop if I keep on finding more issues with this. I will wait for the next chapter and hope it's better and actually have things make sense.