So I was wondering what you guys think the best way to tell a war story is. I'm currently writing a story where Twilight is giving a first-hand account of a war through letters sent to Princess Luna (when you read it, you'll understand why it's Luna) and I was wondering what the best way to do this is. I'm mostly concerned with Twilight's characterization being off and descriptions of the battle being to hollow and empty, as in, not accurately conveying the terror of actually fighting a war.

737638

War will always be hard to write if you've never been through it. Read war stories. That's the best advice I can give you.

737638

first we need to feel the emtion trought the word you will writte, and in the third point of view is better

737638
That depends on the theme. If the intent is character growth, first hand accounts are usually best, as they give the deep, personal emotions one feels at a time. If you wish to build worlds, using third-person omniscient instead of first-person or third-person limited would be best.

Keep in mind, one mind is only one point of view. One character does not see all and hear all. Even if their experiences are terrible, that is only a fraction of a whole. A man may kill another man. Objectively, that is morally wrong, but what if he killed his wife? Vengeance is a powerful motivator and a reasonably just one. Different sides have different views. One side of the war may be morally right, but be just as big of a bastard.

Don't be concerned about if they see the whole picture, just make sure they see a complete picture.

737638 No matter what, no matter what, no matter what

Remember that a war story

Is about people. Gardez says, wisely, that stories about ponies are stories about people. That applies doubly to this. Give me a view from the average soldier's perspective, let me identify with normal people. Have them suffer and triumph, and show that like on the ground level.

For yours, I would try and have Twilight attempt to be factual and collected as much as she can be. Twilight, I think, would hide behind facts and formalities as long as she could before it became to much. Luna you can take several approaches too, from the sensitive to the cold.

It depends on the character's point of view. I'm writing a story about Sombra who is going to war with the crystal empire. I have enough information on the character or at least enough to hopefully fit in with the character and enough info on war to know what to expect. Sombra's reaction to something like watching another being blown to chunks in front of him would probably have no affect on him. Twilight on the other hand would be utterly mortified to see something so ghastly. It all depends on the character.

737638 I'd say, if you're trying to get the perfect mix of personal character interaction and the events of the war itself. Do what Call of Duty: Big Red One (The greatest of the franchise IMO) did. Have your characters come together, and get through all the shit that war entails, have them involved in battles. Some exposition right before things go wrong is perfectly fine, so long as the narrative voice is engaging with the reader.

Oh, and because it's a war fic. You're going to have to off someone eventually, because "Nobody get's out alive, doc."

Play Spec Ops: The Line

737638 I'm actually just in middle of writing a warfic set in an alternative universe from first person narration about an unidendified soldier mare or stallion (not specifed in text) in war. I began to write this in mind of discussing pacifism and try to research some kind of equine warfare with refrences to our world's pre and during Great War -era. What I'm trying to do is discuss different moral issues which come upon from killing others and how it can affect one's individuality, like you've done with Twilight's character being little-off.

I disagree with your statement to leave the battle descriptions hollow and empty as they could be done in very rich detail (which I think would actually work in advange for your Twilight; have it start out hollow but then gradually grow more detailed and detailed untill they take more space than other parts) but that's purely my opinion. But the savagery of war should definately be visible in your work one way or another. You could also have her introduce some others to Luna and tell her about their general life in the front.

It's really hard for me to recommend you anything, as my story is build very much upon the unique perspective, but I hope I was helpfull.

737638 Well, there are two groups I would recommend checking out, and maybe even joining. If you're looking to write a war story, these are the groups that will help you the most.

Battlefield: Equestria: Through here, you can observe strategies and situations, and it will hopefully improve your proficiency in creating effective and believable battle scenes. This is also a good place for generally a good read of just pure battle scenes, and generally get ideas for war related stories

Pony Warfare:
If you are looking for a war story, this group is the best library for it. Stories are categorized by weapon era.

737638

You should check out NotSoSubtle's Valor is Magic. I'd say he does pretty good at telling a war story.

737790 I wasn't going to make the descriptions hollow, I was concerned about them being hollow without my intent. Sorry for the misunderstanding .

And thanks to everyone who replied here, you've helped me a great deal . Hopefully, my fic will be something worth reading, though I doubt it.

Some war books I've read start out with multiple POVs from both sides of the war, then have some of the characters (from opposing sides) eventually meet up or even kill each other.
It's a really nifty way of humanizing both sides and showing that battle is merely a case of who survives the longest.

737638

Heart of Darkness is a must read for anyone who wants to depict war stories, it's influenced deptions of war from Apocalype Now to Spec Ops: The Line. The story is about the colonialisation of Africa, and the thing that makes it so effective is that its told mostly after the fact, showing the results of the fighting, the horror... the horror...

But what I consider to be the pinnackle of the war story is "All quiet on the Western front." The descriptions of war in this book are pitch-perfect, very detailed and immersive. And there's asense of hopelessness in this one as well, the protagonist doesnt die in some grand conflict to make a stance, but in a skirmish so minor that it is reported as "quiet on the western front." It's actually hard for me to grasp just how old this book is, because so much of it still holds up today, if anything, things have only gotten worse.

As much as it is possible, find depictions from actual war veterans, cus military supporters is going to give you a glorified, good vs evil view of war, and pacifists... well, since I AM one, I'd like to think we'd be honest enough about the effects of war, but unless that pacifist is also a war vet (serving in a war is a very quick way to become a pacifist, it seems...), he's prolly noy going to be able to give you any insight about the experience of war.

Worth mentioning is the often less than stellar reason countries go to war. It is he WWII formula that's most usually copied,because people know how to handle that, EVUL dictator wants to expand his EBIL empire and the good guys band together to stop him... nevermind that this wasn't how WWII actually played ut, except in propaganda, but that's what stuck it seems.

What we have seen in later years is countries using one atrocity comitted against it as justification to declare war with an abstract concept and attack pretty much whoever they like. People are encouraged to see entire groups of people as an abstract homogenous "other" that its okay to kill, much like orcs, stormtroopers or nazis. Not to mention goverments that's outright lied in order to justify a war, by claiming threats that simply was never there in the first place.

In the end, war is about control, of the own population as much as of other countries. With a war, you can rally people behind a common cause, and any disagreement with official policy, espescially military policy, can be shut down with "not now,we're at war!"

One of the themes in george orwells 1984 is the idea of perpetual war, a country who is ALWAYS at war with some other country, and always will be at war with some other country, simply to give people people something to rally against.

Okay, in case I didn't make it extremely obvious already, I come at this from a bone-hard pacifist POV, so I might not be the best person to ask under these circumstances.

737638
If you want more in-depth advice, find a pre-reader or two to look at your rough drafts (or first chapters, or whatever you already have). Sounds like you're pretty desperate for an outside opinion to give you a bit of constructive criticism. That stuff's incredibly important when you start off and gain some momentum.

Feel free to shoot me a PM, if you'd like. Editing isn't my strong-suit, but I'm certainly enough of a bookworm to pre-read. I'll give you an honest opinion and some suggestions, if necessary. I do enjoy the occasional war story. Though I don't really read Human-in-Equestria stories, luckily it doesn't sound like one of those, but you never know.

Okay, on to the war-fic advice!
First, I'm going to go against what a few of the people here have suggested. If you're doing a 'Letters from the Front' style story, don't get hung up on strategy, tactics or even the technology. You only need to figure out the mechanics you want to the point of being able to describe the horrors of war. For example, if you want a shellshocked Twi to shakily describe the mess of a magical artillery barrage or something. It sounds like you're aiming for emotional resonance here, and there's nothing like a dry treatise on logistics to kill that. (Unless you want to do a section on Twi hiding from her feelings in cold analysis. Then, awesome.)

Second: Always remember that you're writing a bit of pony fiction. Someone already pointed out that it's still writing about people, and that's very true. However, while Equestria is not so idyllic as some fanon would have you believe, it does seem to be pretty free from lethal violence, occasional monster attacks aside. Horses are hardly the most passive creatures, but they aren't predators like we are. A bunch of herbivores from a peaceful nation will probably have a harder time being face-to-face with the idea of killing another sentient creature than we would.

The fact that Twi is a generally sensitive, empathetic and downright benevolent person will only make the whole experience worse. Having to kill will chew her up entirely inside. If I was you, I'd have her making a point of using nonlethal combat as much as possible at the start, until things go badly enough that she's forced to get a bit more... efficient, to save ponies. Then guilt spiral. Also, you should probably come up with a reason as to why Celestia and Luna would risk Equestria's greatest weapon on the battlefield. Don't get me wrong, Twilight would be terrifying as a piece of magical artillery, maybe even enough to singlehoofedly turn a battle around. Yet, the Princesses are risking the soul of the fulcrum of an invaluable artifact that runs on the very most noble parts of human/pony nature. War is... not conductive to many of the virtues the Elements embody.

I know my suspension of disbelief has been strained by several war fics that haven't adequately answered the question as to why the Element Bearers are being used as common soldiers (even in command). You don't generally put your special forces/nuclear option/adorable favored student on the front lines.

738035 I have read "All Quiet on the Western Front," and I agree that it is the pinnacle of what a war story should be. As for your other parts, I also agree. War is a tragedy no matter how you cut it, because there is always a possibility to avoid it if people want it badly enough.

738040 You are right in every aspect, and that is what I'm worried about. I think I have a fairly good idea as to what will start the war and how the Element bearers arrive on the battlefield. I have a few ideas though, so hopefully it'll work.

737639 Just read "Dulce Et Decorum Est" and "The Hand That Signed The Paper." Covers the whole spectrum.

4396782
It's not Christmas anymore. It's almost June.
Take down your damn Christmas Lights of your hat.

Anyway, that's some epic necro. I can't believe I was here for more than 116 weeks. Also, how I used to actually be helpful! Those were the days.

But seriously, don't necro ancient threads. Let them rest in the great beyond.
Yes, it's in the list of important threads. But that doesn't mean the conversation is still continuing. It's a reference. If you want to chat on a topic, make a discussion thread about it. So people who are still around and active can have funsies.

~Locked. Before a million more people start replying to someone asking a question two years ago.