//------------------------------// // 1 - This is not my bed // Story: Janon - The Resident "Wise" Guy // by Starmarine61321600 //------------------------------// I wake up flat on my back. The ground is cold against my back much different from the warm embrace of my sleeping. The sun beats down on my face between the leaves of an overhead as I slowly open my eyes. The sky is a purplish color with not a cloud in sight. I rise to my feet and I look around at my surroundings. “Okay, this is not where I went to sleep,” the forest is thick and full of weeping trees with low-hanging branches and thick spiked vines hanging off them. In the distance, I can barely make out a cave that blends almost perfectly with the surroundings. It only seems to be a few miles away. I glance down at my self, “At least I have my clothing, that’s always a plus,” I pat myself down to check what all I have in the pockets of my coat. Some people have a signature shirt or hat but I have my jacket. I lay eyes upon something in the distance that makes my heart drop. On the top of a large mountain lays Canterlot. The realization dawns on me. “Well, shit.” I’ve been transported to Equestria with all my memories. Not only that but I have a full timeline of Equestira’s history in my pocket. It was an orange folder I referred to as ‘the sacred text’. It was meant as a joke I would start reading it when people were being rude or disrespectful, which was rare simply due to me being unconditionally nice to people. I begin talking to myself, “Okay I see three possibilities, maybe more for how this ends. One, I die trying to reach that cave, it looks like it’s night and a manticore or pack of timberwolves would end my life quickly. Two I survive reaching the cave and make contact with the ponies which could in any number of possibilities. Imprisonment, being seen as a future-knowing Messiah, or just as a weird bipedal dude. The Princesses could also capture me and fearing for the safety of their ponies lock me away in the dungeons to rot away. Hell, they could send me to Tartarus.” I shake my head knowing now is not the time to worry about that. “Not, now before anything I need to find shelter, and currently that cave is the only shelter I see. It’s only a few miles, time for me to put the 5k training to good use. This is going to be no different from my other runs.” I quickly take off toward the cave jumping over logs, dodging low-hanging branches and vines as the caves slowly gets closer. Now at the cave, I finally get a good look at its entrance. It almost perfectly blends into the surroundings as if someone put it here. It almost looks like the entrance to a mine. Spooky, but it’s still better than sleeping outside plus it’s not like anything bigger than a human could fit in it. I walk into the cave, and a long corridor greets my eyes. Definitely not natural. It’s a solid 3 meters wide and equally tall. As I continue down the corridor it ends at a sharp corner leading to a large open chamber. A chamber which conveniently contains all my lifely possessions. I look around the room in the middle of the chamber is a desk with my PC and laptop resting on it. Near the rear left wall is my bed a sleeping bag on it. Opposite it is a bookshelf filled to the brim with books, a vast collection of encyclopedias mostly on technology with a focus on weapons of war and history. In the closest corner to my right lay my collection of axes, swords, and sticks cause every man needs a good collection of sticks. “Okay, what the fuck.” I quickly connect the dots in my mind as to who did this, the only being capable of doing this and the only being shortsighted enough to do it. With all my annoyance I shout his name loud enough it echoes off the chamber walls, “DISCORD!” I hear a pop to my left followed by a whoosh of air, “Yes?” I quickly turn to the face voice. The Draconequus in question floating beside me on his back. A pair of sunglasses rest on his eyes and in his paw is an umbrella drink. His expression is that of someone who sees no wrongdoing. My hands rest on my waist and my face is that of annoyance, “Why in the fuuck, did you teleport both me and my lifely possession to Equus?” Discord floats right in front of me, a large Cheshire cat-like smile on his face, a smile that goes all the way to his eyes. “simmple my friend, it’s too peaceful in Equestria right no. It’s in diirre need of some chaos.” At this point, I’m pissed my face morphs into that of great annoyance, “So you bring me to Equestria. Dropping me smack right into the Everfree Forest to make things more interesting.” Discord lets out an ‘Aha’ summoning some fireworks as he falls back with a clap of his hands. “Now you’re getting it.” Yeah, no that’s not going to work.” I say with a deadpan not amused in the slightest. “Please send me back.” “About that…” Discord chuckles nervously shrinking into a smaller him, “I can’t” My head snaps to the smaller Discord, “The hell you mean you can’t” I look at him with a glare able to stop a manticore dead, “You bring me someone who has enough knowledge of Equestria to make the Royal Sisters seem uninformed and more knowledge on world-changing tech than even the top scientists on this planet and expect me to have any desire to stay.” My hands move as I speak conveying my emotions in ways words fail to. “They could have me killed or lock me in a dungeon for future insight only visiting when they need knowledge of future events. Even if I hide in this cave and its surrounding forest I could end up dying from any of the hundreds of dangerous creatures and flora.” Discord lets out a sigh. “I can’t send you back, even If I wanted. I simply summoned a random human.” He pauses putting a claw to his face. “The only way you can get home is to either make contact with the princesses or Cosmos Chronicles,” Discord says with an unexpectedly regretful gaze. A gaze that’s focused on the floor him seeming to second guess his actions. It takes me a second to process the information my face shooting to his as I register the name ‘Cosmos Chronicles’. “Hold up, Cosmos, as in Cosmos of the Bayhillian Commonwealth?” “Yes, that Cosmos, not the Draconequus.” Discord summons a map of Equus and points to the Ignis Islands roughly 300km off the coast of Seaddle, West of Canterlot and Ponyville. “Okay, that means that isn’t the Mlp from the show but the Mlp from the Keeper, that fanfic I was going to write.” My voice is filled with uncertainty. I run all the possibilities through my head, trying to account for as many variables as I can. “Has the Commonwealth revealed itself yet?” “No, the Commonwealth is still watching from the shadows, quietly observing the planet. It’ll be a while before they reveal themselves as the Storm King hasn’t conquered the Hippogriffs yet.” Discord opens a tiny window to Bayhill, the Commonwealth’s capital. The walled city is bustling with life creatures of all types roaming the sideways as automobiles drive on the roads. Both ships and airships are docked at the city harbor. Neoclassical buildings line the streets alongside trees and street lights. The city itself is surrounded by a massive heavily defended wall that’d make Shiganishina jealous. The equally massive coastal guns that dot the wall would make Batmunkh Gompa jealous, turrets filling in the gaps between coastal guns. “Okay, so that makes my life slightly less stressful.” I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding. Knowing I’m not in an Equestria currently on its way to a triple whammy. You see, an Equestria in its Industrial Age is very different from an Equestria in its Technological Revolution. One is trying to figure out steam engines and the other has spaceships. “Okay, has Tirek attacked yet?” “Tirek is going to attack?” Discord says unaware of this. “I’ll take that as a no. Here’s the plan: it’s something like 1000 km from here to the Commonwealth and 60 km to Canterlot. So since you brought me here, against my will, while I was sleeping, you, my friend, are going to help me.” I say making it very clear he was going to help me. Discord waves his arms defensively “What! That’s absurd” the mere mention of helping me seems to offend him. “Think of how much chaos my journey will cause. I think it would be a mutually beneficial agreement. I get protection and you get a healthy increase of chaos.” I know it’s an offer he can’t refuse after all who is the lord of chaos to refuse such a chaotic offer? Discord grows back to his original size and looks to be thinking over my offer placing his lion paw to his chin thoughtfully. “What would this arrangement entail?” “Nothing much, you just make a weaker clone of yourself in the form of an inanimate object to assist me with my plan.” I pause for a moment to think about what object it would take the form of. “A watch would work. It wouldn’t draw much attention plus having a watch would be useful. It’d be neuro-linked to me so I don’t have to say my requests out loud simply think about it and it appears.” Discord lets out a sigh accepting the deal. “Fine, that seems fair enough. This will also allow for me to keep tabs on you as well.” he snaps his eagle claw and summons a metal watch, nothing too fancy but still classy. The watch in question floats to my wrist locking with a click. “For simplicity’s sake, I’ll refer to this as Datch.” Even in this weakened state, I can feel its power, It feels as if I can warp anything I want. “I’m going to set up the fort. Once I’m settled in I’ll wait for the natives to stumble upon me before making contact. Let them find me not the other way around.” I reach down, adjusting the watch to a more comfortable position and tightness. Discord raises an eyebrow, “I feel like I should clarify a few things. Datch does not possess its own consciousness it’s simply a small amount of my power. It can have about 5 reality-bending rules active at once. Additionally, it can only make a dozen summons summons each day. These summons can be one thing or batches of things.” “Okay, that makes sense. I plan on using Datch quite a lot it’ll be very help being able to literally will things into existence and it’s the easiest way to get more complex things.” I say as I glance down at the watch. Discord nods slowly, “Just remember power corrupts but absolute power corrupts absolutely.” “Trust me, I’ll use the power responsibly for every action, there is an equal and opposite action.” I walk to my bookshelf glancing at the books. “So this operates like New Order from MHA mixed with a genie?” “Yes, the rules you impose are like that of this New Order. You must know the name of what you’re making a rule on.” Discord says as he summons a pen and writes down all do’s and don’ts. “Should be too difficult to manage.” I quickly come up with a test rule. “So for example, new rule, Janon has peak human strength.” I begin to grow in both height and build. Gone was the tall and lanky man replaced by a ripoff of Senator Armstrong minus the football experience and sense of patriotism. “Yes, as you can see that’s a valid rule, and it’s worked. If the rule isn’t valid it’ll send a slight shock to notify you. Also, that’s the first I’ve heard your name so hello, Janon.” “Oh, right my bad,” I say as I reach my hand out and scratch the back of my head. “I forgot to mention it, sorry.” “It’s fine, didn’t expect you to tell me at all, at least not today.” Discord shrugs, “I’m sorry for displacing you. Especially here.” “Hey, you’re making good on it. I’m honestly surprised you agreed to this. Fluttershy must be rubbing off on you.” Discord chuckles and glances at an invisible clock. “Speaking of Fluttershy I should probably get going I don’t want to be late for my tea time with her.” “Yeah, see you around, Discord. Come back in a few days to check up on me. Make sure I’m not dead.” I say my hand outstretched for a handshake. “See you around, Janon,” Discord says as he grabs my hand in his eagle claw and shakes it before teleporting away. I walk outside the cave and face the entrance “New rule, the entrance to this cave and all subsequent entrances are hidden to all except those I deem worthy.” A faint shimmer of light engulfs the entrance as if a forcefield now blocks it. With the entrance now hidden I walk back down to the chamber, “Now let’s get to business,” I summon a few books, Vault Dweller's Survival Guide Fallout One, The Hunger Games, History of the United States, and a few others. “Step one, begin construction of the Ark.”