//------------------------------// // Sunset, what are the pros and cons? // Story: Sunset, what do you want? // by DapperLilArts //------------------------------// Yeah. If my Twi was here, that’s what she’d do. Sort out the pros and cons. Unfortunately, she’s not, and I feel like I’m dead. How can I be so exhausted and yet have lost this much sleep. How can I want to immediately tell my friends about all of this, and yet, have the need to hide. How can I receive the best news of my life, and yet, feel horrible. Okay I shouldn’t waste my time moping. Even if moping sounds pretty damn good right now. I stayed in bed for what felt like hours, and honestly it might as well have been; When I turned on my phone and checked it, I was surprised to see it was only midday. Surprised, here, because I expected to stay in bed for 24 hours. And another surprise, one I first noticed through my back pain and sore joints– I never made it to my bed, I just collapsed on the couch and called it a night. Great job, past me. At the very least past me had the decency to hug plushie Philomena in her sleep. Suddenly, a jolt of adrenaline coursed through me– I sat up, hastingly grabbed my phone, and called my Twilight. Those quiet phone beeps had never felt so fucking ominous– I stared at nothing, as I waited for my girlfriend to pick up– And realized I had no idea what I would say when she did. The seconds passed like an infinity, my eyes were dry, so was my throat, and WOW I felt like I needed a proper breakfast, despite my stomach twisting in on itself– But I sat, utterly still, waiting. And waiting. “Hi, this is Twilight Sparkle, I can’t come to the ph– ACK” This was followed by the unmistakable sound of my girlfriend dropping her phone and scurrying to get it. “Ow ow, Oh gosh– Ok. It’s not broken. Um, uh, leave a message after the thingy!” I immediately turned off the call– And let out a sigh of relief. What the hell was I thinking?? What was I even going to say?! The fact she didn’t pick up was some sort of divine gift and I should NOT waste it. I patted myself– Noticing I was still fully wearing my party clothes, and all my accessories. letting out several groans of disappointment, I started removing several of those spiked bands and other things, and then, had a realization. What if all the events of last night were just a messed up dream?? Oh that would be wonderful. Of course, no pony would EVER see me fit to rule Equestria, Princess Twilight would never be that afraid or even attracted to me, Celestia would never so enthusiastically want to take me in again, it was just a dream! Totally! A really messed up dream. I didn’t have to worry about it. I worried about it. With the same twisted knot in my gut and jolt of adrenaline, I scurried over to my living room table and hastingly opened the book that Princess Twilight used to contact me. I’m so sorry to already be messaging you, but I needed to check on you, I’m really worried. I’m so sorry if it felt like I was pushing a massive weight on you last night. I wanted to tell you before we even crossed the mirror– I should have been able to put a hoof down and make sure you understood what I meant and I just Whatever happens, whatever you prefer, just know that I'm sorry. I hoped that my offer would be more good than bad. Please just know that I’ll be here for whatever help you need deciding. And that you can say no… If you don’t want to do this, you can say no. Oh no. It wasn’t a dream. How can I be so fucking twisted over this, and yet be so relieved that the offer is there. I almost rushed to grab a pen, then immediately stopped. Think, for once, think. Princess Twilight was out there beating herself up for offering me all my wildest dreams on a silver platter. That just didn’t fucking feel right to me. She deserved to know that she was literally just… Casually, and lovingly handing me the possibility of having everything I ever wanted; Including her, mind you. I didn’t blame her– I didn’t blame her OR Celestia, for thinking that my human problems and relationships didn’t matter as much as the issues that happened in Equestria. I’m from Equestria, those problems should be mine too– And what’s more, Earth, apart from the occasional Equestrian magic attack, is not threatened by anything more than global warming. And you can’t use friendship laser blasts on global warming. And honestly, think. Imagine if you walked up to a human guy on the street and said “Hey there’s magical ponies in another dimension to ours that are fighting to save their world right now!” Like, you’d be lucky, if that person gave an iota of a shit about a world that isn’t theirs, provided they even believed you. Now try doing that to a Princess, a Queen, or a god. The problems in Equestria mattered a lot more to me than Earth’s problems. I was genuinely concerned everytime Twilight mentioned another villain, another monster, another crisis. And a big concern was because I couldn’t do anything to help a girl I really, really cared about. But I always defaulted to the excuse that it wasn’t my world, so it wasn’t my problem… But it could be. Now it could be. Fuck, did I want it to be. And also, I was the fucking idiot that didn’t notice that she was trying to tell me she loved me before I crossed that mirror; Though to be fair, how could I have ever GUESSED that the  Princess of FRIENDSHIP was in love with me?! She’s never been in love with anypony; Why would she be into a girl that’s a world away?? …That’s kind of really close to what happened with my Twilight, isn’t it. Goddamnit. Yeah, I was way too dense to realize that’s what the Princess was trying to tell me at the time– Not that I would have said no or yes then– But at least it would have just been me and her, and not— Half of Canterlot, and Celestia… Celestia… She personally offered to have me back. Celestia wants me back. Before I noticed I was biting the skin off the sides of my fingers in anxiety, fidgeting with my skin, I was crawling into myself. Where I a pony right now, I would likely be bucking things. I missed being able to sprint in four legs in any grassland to relieve stress. I tried breathing deeply, I tried centering myself, but… I grabbed my phone and checked my dms. Specifically, Twilight. “Cadance is taking me to get hair makeovers before lunch– And no, I don’t have a choice, and yes, I will send embarrassing pictures when I can. :P Love you! I hope the party was fine. If I miss a call, it’s because deranged things are being done to my hair!” I couldn’t help but let out a weary chuckle– Twilight has that effect on me– And I almost immediately shuddered with the implications of what might happen between me and her in the following days, if not the following hours. Quickly glancing at my dms, I could see a handful of curious and concerned messages from Pinkie. I really appreciated them-- But honestly, if I started a conversation with her now, it wouldn't end-- And I might end up spilling my guts about this whole deranged debacle. No way. I went to the group chat of all my friends, hoping to have some good news– not that any could possibly change my current fucking circumstances. One message from Applejack. “Howdy, y’all! How about we do rehearsals this afternoon, then go out to celebrate our admissions into CCC? My barn, of course; Hopin y’all are free!” It seemed that most of my friends had confirmed they were interested already; Twilight was not one of them, likely stuck in a hair salon with Cadance. I grimaced; The last thing I needed was to be surrounded by six curious friendly adorable incredible people, wondering how my super cool party from another dimension went. I didn’t want to, but I had to say something. And then I had to figure out what the fuck I was going to do. And then, and then, and then… One step at a time. Breathe. I’m so fucked. “Sorry, everyone, I’m feeling under the weather after the party, might be something I ate in Equestria. I’ll pass on rehearsal today if that’s okay!” There, that sounded normal, right? It didn’t sound suspicious, or…  I stopped. My stress caught up to me. I put my phone on the table and stood up. And rushed to the kitchen sink; thinking if I was about to puke. Lucky for me, my shitty apartment is basically only one room, so it was a short trip. And I have good news, probably the best news, since I was offered to enter a literal godly position in a magical world that was my home– the good news is I DIDN'T puke! Wow! Sunset Shimmer just can’t stop winning! Water. I rushed and grabbed some cold water from the fridge and drank desperately– And then scoured my fridge or anything at all for any sort of snack. Any sort of sustenance that wouldn’t require me to cook at a time like this. Out of cereal, fuck. Granola bars would have to do. I walked– nearly a sprint, really, back to the couch, as I munched desperately, and breathed deeply, attempting to stave off the anxious nausea. It’s ironic. The last time I felt this nervous was before the battle of the bands with the Dazzlings, those weeks where I tried being a good person for the first time, and knew that there was nothing I could say or do to convince people I was better. It was almost a nostalgic anxiety– Here I was, once again, incredibly unsure of my future, and incredibly unsure of who I was… The irony was not lost on me. And with the quiet munching of that granola bar, I successfully managed to stall from having to make a decision and/or breaking the hearts of the people I love by telling them I’d like to leave them forever! Wow!! Go me! I leaned back on the couch, frankly, I could have just gone back to sleep. But I struggle to imagine my stress would let me.  The phone buzzed, and I grabbed it hastingly. A message from AJ in the groupchat. “That’s a bummer, Sunset!! Do you need us to come over? Me and Rares are together right now, we could bring some snacks and medical supplies or somethin.” I couldn’t risk my incredibly caring friends barging in here. “No thanks, I'll ride it out, but keep you girls posted. Thanks for worrying about me!” I felt… disgusting. For pretending that what was happening wasn’t happening. With a huge exhale, I grabbed a pen, and brought the book closer to me. Studying the messages the Princess sent me, and I tried formulating a proper answer, or at least the most proper I could, under the circumstances. Twilight, it’s okay. Look, about last night, you didn’t do anything wrong, okay? I was the idiot that didn’t notice what you were trying to tell me before I crossed that mirror. And besides, what you’re offering me is literally everything I've ever wanted since I was a filly. You knew that, I knew that, but… I need time to think. I don’t even know if or how I could even talk to my friends about this, or even how I could make this decision. My brain is working overdrive right now– I don’t want to worry about yours too, okay? Just… give me time to sort this out. I exhaled, Realizing I was maybe being too nice to her. But honestly, the day I start being mean and bitter to Twilight Sparkle, ANY Twilight Sparkle, is the day I shove my head through the mouth of a Chimera. ‘Sort this out’... what a joke. Like I knew what the fuck I would even do. I took a pensive bite out of my granola bar, trying to almost pretend like I was figuring out a solution to this. Then I thought. What would my Twilight do? Think objectively. Pros and cons. What is the good side of staying on earth, vs what is the good side of staying in Equestria? Okay, let’s do this. Holding the pen in one hand, granola bar in the other, I stood up– And looked for a piece of paper to write on. I found one, and winced when I saw what it was. The unfinished portrait of my girlfriend. Fuck. No, no time to mope or feel like the worst piece of shit in the entire world– It’s time to think objectively. What are the pros and cons? Ironically, one world’s pros, are the other’s cons… I flipped the page, and wrote on the back. STAYING IN THE HUMAN WORLD, PROS - I don’t have to break Twilight’s heart. Well, this one was obvious. The most important piece in this incredibly messed up puzzle. I can’t choose to go to Equestria without hurting Twilight– And I love her so fucking much. How the fuck would I even tell her? There’s absolutely no way that it’d end well, no matter what. And I couldn’t bear to hurt her. - College with friends I've had for years will be great. I certainly was looking forward to the good times I’d have with them, but I couldn’t help but think about the fact that I had no clue what career I wanted, and how I just… Didn’t like the monetary System here on earth. It felt like I was always in danger of losing an already shitty apartment, and we had so much homework– So many classes about lame things– ugh… And what’s more, I would MUCH rather have lessons on being a Princess/becoming an Alicorn. Now that’s a future. No. don’t get sidetracked. Positives. Positives. I, uh… - After college, University, just me and Twilight, would be a dream. If I even passed… Gosh, she’s so intelligent, she’s a shoo in. Man, I really want to see what she would do with her life… I guess that would be a positive, right? Getting to see what amazing thing this Twilight would become? And generally, being able to be side by side as she grows? I froze. The only reason Twilight didn’t go to Everton University was because of me. Because I offered that we went to Canterlot Community College just so everyone stayed together. Shit. If I left for Equestria, I would have robbed her of that chance at her dream University for nothing at all. - My friends know me fully, and I know them, and they love me. In Equestria, I’d have to make those friendships all over again– That wasn’t just a chore– I'd feel BAD whenever I heard their voices and thought of the friends I left behind. And not just that, I’d feel weird, considering that Princess twilight would just be like “Hey. You have to be friends with my future wife” Like. is that friendship nepotism? Is that a thing? I don’t know. All I know is that these human girls picked me up at my worst, and stayed with me all the way to my best. I owe them everything. I love them. - I like having fingers. This one's self explanatory. Fingers are agile, and useful, but I will admit, the only thing I'd miss them for in Equestria is playing guitar. Playing it with hooves is nuts. Oh. And, uh, other skills, significantly more unchaste, that I learned to use fingers for here in the human world. Though I will say, magic is even more practical than fingers, and has a multitude of applications– And oh man, if I had Alicorn powers, fuck that would be so awesome. Goddamnit, positives of the human world, focus on that. - Living a human lifespan with Twilight wouldn’t be bad. Sure, living for 1000 years is something, but a single lifespan with someone you love isn’t bad… Shit, I guess 1000 years with someone you love is better. I won’t scratch this out, though. Because no matter what, it’d be a lifetime with someone I love. Positives in both ways, aging with someone, versus not aging with someone, because you don’t age. - My friends might need my help to fight Equestrian magic Actually, scratch this one. They really don’t need my help. Sure they like to say I'm their leader, but it’s always a team effort, and the six of them are incredibly capable. It does fit as something I like about this world, but it’s dwindling– and besides, what I wouldn’t GIVE to fight some of the bad guys Princess Twilight keeps talking about. - I would miss gaming if I left. I’m really scratching the bottom of the barrel now. I’ve gotta admit, videogames are pretty incredible, one of the most impressive human inventions. It's such a “Hey, what if we made crazy shit that literally only passes the time and entertains” And then some of the games are just. Sweeping incredible works of art, or just amazingly engaging tests of your reflexes. I considered, for a moment, if I could, as a princess, introduce video games to Equestria, like they exist here. But damnit, without fingers, it’d be tough. Huge human win. - I would miss movies and TV– especially enjoying it with friends. Okay I've got to admit, these kinds of things are pretty mundane, but I’ve watched plenty of shows and movies with my friends, especially with my girlfriend, and it’s just– cozy to do. I started spinning the pen in between my fingers, lost in thought. Was this really all I liked about living here? All I was looking forward to? I considered adding something about traveling, but frankly, from what I had seen, nothing in this world would impress me more than the vistas in Equestria, not to mention, I only enjoyed traveling here because it’s with my friends. Hell, that first Everfree camping trip we had was unforgettable– And not just because we got powers from it. Just… My friends. I love them. And here I am, considering leaving them. What kind of person or pony does that even make me? And it certainly doesn’t inspire much confidence that all I can think of is barely TEN positive things about Earth. Only a handful of reasons for me to stay. I kept fidgeting with the pen, for a little while longer. And I came to a disheartening realization. I don’t like Earth as much as I thought. It’s a smelly, loud world, with few regards for nature and no magic. I hate my small, cramped apartment, not because I can’t make a life here– But because I know I could have better in Equestria, with less worry. It’s a world with few adventures of its own– In fact, almost all of the adventures I had here were caused by magic from my homeworld. I came to the realization that I was only so content in spending the rest of my days here, because of my friends, and because of Twilight. …And because I thought I had nothing to go back to. …But now I do. …Inherently… Human Sunset Shimmer is inferior to Princess Sunset Shimmer. Now staying in the human world felt like being complacent. It felt like settling for less. I hate this feeling. I grabbed my plushie phoenix and held her tightly. Oh Philomena, we’re really in it now… No. No time for moping. My decision hasn't been made yet, and I still need to think about every angle possible. RETURNING TO EQUESTRIA, PROS - I really, really want to be an Alicorn.  I want to fly. I have wanted this since I was a foal. Since the first time I saw Celestia demonstrate her power and her elegance, I thought to myself. That’s what I want to be. Hell– It was when I got my cutie mark, when I first saw her demonstrate her might, fighting a monster that was attacking my town. She made it look effortless, wasn’t even touched, and she remained incredibly composed. I would have given everything to be like her. And I guess I tried to. I tried so hard, I convinced myself I was worthy, that it was my destiny, but it wasn’t. I was just a hard headed, stubborn Unicorn, a selfish, bitter, entitled pupil that couldn’t see past my muzzle and my desire for power. …But I changed. …And now… Celestia herself offered me another chance at it. And it might sound weird, but… I know I wouldn’t screw it up this time. I’ve been humbled enough. And what’s more, I know now, how much stronger I can be, when I have friendship and love. I want to fly… I want wings. I want to have the strongest kind of magic– And I want to use it right, with humility. I want to be an Alicorn. - I really want to be a Princess. Fuck, do I want to be a Princess. I want to be known– To be respected and loved– But I also want it to be for the right reasons. I want pointless parties that I have to learn etiquette for. I want pointless galas that I can dance with Twilight on. I want… I want to one day be Celestia’s equal. I want to inherit the sun. God, do I want that... I want Rarity to push me to wear fancy poofy dresses– I want to pretend I don’t like it. I want… I want, above everything, to discover what kind of Princess I would be. If not of Friendship, then what? I don’t know.  But I want to know. - I miss Celestia so much. I never thought I deserved to see her again, or to walk by her side, and yet, she asked me to. The Princess of the Sun forgave me, and wants me back, and I miss being her pupil so fucking much. Those weren’t even the best years of my life– But they were the most hopeful. And I want them back, and I want to do it right. This time, I’d do it right. Because I’d do it with Twilight. - I get to see my parents again– On good terms, no less. I never considered going back to see them again– but one thing’s for sure. If I was a Princess, if I had the good news that Everything was okay, and that I was trying again, a changed pony… Nothing would hold me back anymore. I could see them again, with no weight of failure on my shoulders. With good news. Hey mom, hey dad… I’m a princess now. And I’m with another Princess. Sorry for being gone all these years, but these news will be enough to earn your forgiveness! Honestly, that doesn’t even sound absurd. - I miss magic so much. This one is self explanatory– As a Unicorn, magic is a part of you, you feel it in your breathing, in your heartbeat, in your skin. That sensation is unmatched, and what’s more, being an Alicorn… I have no clue how it’d feel, but I want to find out. - I miss being a pony, galloping, feeling the breeze. I’m not going to lie. Humans don’t have that much over ponies– If not for fingers, boobs, and maybe six-packs, I’d say ponies are superior. We get to sprint easily, we aren’t prude over clothes, we’re incredibly fast, and generally, no matter what, sitting, standing, laying down, we’re always comfortable. And it’s not just that, we’re just– We’re more connected to nature. Feeling the breeze, feeling the grass, just… being, it’s different in Equestria. Very different from being a human. Ugh, I hate how one-sided this is feeling. - Equestria is beautiful, and it’s serene. I covered this on the other list already, but… Equestria is just prettier. Anything is possible, all sorts of vistas and horizons. It’s like the sky has more color– as if every home, every city, is with more life. There’s adventures out there to be had– And if I was with Twilight, even in training, i’d get some wild fucking adventures, I just know it. Meanwhile, here on earth… - I get to make new friends. I will say, as much as I’d hate leaving my friends here, I am really curious about the kinds of ponies I’d meet, as a new pupil of Celestia… And not just that. Making the same friends again, there's something really interesting with that. Even in casual visits, I liked observing Twilight’s friends, and seeing the little ways in which they diverge from mine. It’d be an interesting experiment, observing that from closer! - I get to live somewhere better. Maybe Ponyville? Twilight’s told me a lot about Ponyville. And honestly… I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy every visit. There’s a certain magic there, I don't know how to explain it… Wait. Would Twilight want me to live with her in her castle? Oh man… - Living a 1000 years with Twilight would be really, really good. Okay. I know I said I don’t want to unpack how I feel about the princess- and I don’t, not now, but… Gosh. 1000 years with her… man. That would be… - Exploring more of Equestria as a princess would be incredible. As a Princess, I’d get to visit so many places, see so many sights… oh man, I wonder if Celestia would want us to go to the Hall of Unity!!! Oh, man… - I want to be a legend. Okay. This is thinking WAY far ahead, and WAY too hopeful, but like… The first pupil of Celestia, a dejected failure, rising from the ashes, but then returning incredibly better, earning a place alongside her and one day a place in her throne, side by side with her other pupil– Oh man, if me and Twilight ruled together, I’m CERTAIN we’d bring about a golden age in Equestria– Okay. I’m getting way far ahead of myself. Let’s just put “I want a statue or two of me” here and call it. - Equestria might really need me. Speaking of ruling Equestria– I will say, through everything that Twilight’s said, it seems pretty clear that Equestria is often in peril, and it’s just her and her friends in the front lines. Celestia and Luna won't be there forever– What’s more, her friends won't be there forever. Having a second Alicorn sharing a throne to help– Especially one that isn’t afraid to kick ass– Could be just what Equestria needs! I could genuinely, not only be wanted, but be needed, too. - Twilight might really need me. She… She said she needed me. And although I have unending faith in the Princess of Friendship, I can’t help but feel like she might be right. Ruling for a thousand years alone… I didn’t want her to go through with that. I didn’t want anyone at all to, really– And my mind raced with thoughts of being there for her. And I hated it. But I loved it. I dropped my pen, and covered my face, feeling my exhaustion, feeling my fluster. Goddamnit, this list feels biased. I hate that it feels like I already know what I want here. I feel like I could keep writing reasons for staying in Equestria endlessly– And that was bad… Considering who I’d have to hurt to do that. What the hell am I going to do…? Here I was, stuck. I had no idea how to make this decision. Alone in my tiny apartment, crawling out of my skin, what the hell would I do? I’m not sure I’m qualified to make this call– I’m completely biased. I nearly jumped as I was snapped out of my trance, by seeing the book from Princess Twilight glow. With a concerned and weary exhale, I picked up the book. I’m happy to know you’re not doing bad, at least, and thank you, thank you for not saying no immediately. If you need any help deciding, I’m here for you; But I do have a suggestion. I know it sounds nuts, but whenever I have a Princess problem, I usually delegate! Asking my friends is a surefire way to get a less biased opinion. Maybe that could work for you? Sorry, I’m just a bit nervous. I hope you’re okay. Princess Twilight, you adorable genius. The answer was right in front of me– I HAVE to tell my friends, yes, but better yet, I need their opinion. I could make it almost like a vote– Their opinion matters WAY more than mine, since they’re the ones I’d be leaving! They deserve to know– And frankly, I deserve to be smacked around, If that’s what they think is right. Honestly this might sound a bit masochist– But having them be mad at me– Seeing their negative reactions– it’s just what I need to erase this bias. Yeah. I don’t care if it hurts. I’ll tell them. I need their opinion. But first… Twilight, you’re a genius– Thank you. You’re right. My friends are just what I need right now. I’ll tell them about this– before I've made a decision, and maybe that’ll help me make it! And also. Thank you. Really. For giving me this chance. I know you know I want it– but you might not be able to understand just how much I really want it. It means everything. Thank you. You’re everything. I stopped myself for a moment– Because I almost wrote “I love you” in there. No. I shouldn’t do this. Not through texting, no less. In fact… I shouldn't be talking through her like this with a barrier between us. Not her, and not my Twilight. I kind of shuddered, realizing I wanted both Twilight’s with me right now. Forever, actually. A conflict of interest there… I’m really glad to hear it! And I hope to hear from you soon. Celestia has not changed her opinion in the slightest– She still would love to have you back as a pupil, and what’s more, I’d be there to tutor you too! We could both live in Ponyville! I could show you around my favorite places, my friends could too– Heck I’d love to show you the school of friendship! I bet Starlight would love to give you a tour I’m getting ahead of myself, sorry, sorry! It’s just… I know that if we ruled together, just… Together, we would never be afraid of the dark. …You know? ...Yeah. I know. I’ll take the excitement as a compliment, don’t worry. Thanks for everything– I'll message you again later. I have to figure out which of my friends to talk to first. See you! And again, thanks for everything. Okay, okay, now I have sort of a plan. Sort of. I sat there, fidgeting, wondering what exactly I should do next. Then I flinched– My phone rang, and it wasn’t just any ringtone, it was Twilights. I sat there, for a moment, hearing her angelic voice sing to me. “Come away with me, be the legend you were meant to be, you will always be, Everfree!!” That put a smile on my face, even as I exhaled, even as I felt exhausted. It was like she held me up, and I smiled like an idiot, sitting there, just hearing her sing. I blinked, snapped out of it, and answered the phone– it was so strange now, hearing her voice through the phone, when I wanted to be near her so badly. “Heya sleepyhead!” She was so cheerful, so happy to hear from me. “Hi, Twilight!” I tried my best to keep a good energy, and not show stress, but lucky for me, it was easy, hearing her voice. “You sound a bit tired, but I’m not surprised. That party must have been a rager! How was sleeping in a castle?” “Oh, I didn’t sleep there after all, I came home, I was pretty exhausted.” She could tell. She could tell that something happened. “Gosh, what happened? Is everything okay?” I hesitated a bit. How much should I tell her- Considering I absolutely didn’t want to share the news over the phone…? “...Yeah. Something pretty big and messy happened. It was… It was a weird night.” “Do you wanna talk about it? I saw that you said you were under the weather, maybe I could come over, we could binge watch something, have some quiet fun?” That sounded fucking incredible right now– But no, I couldn’t. I couldn’t pretend nothing had happened, and not just that, I didn’t deserve to have a nice time with her and to act like everything was fine between us. “No, that’s okay Twi. Actually… I want to tell you something, but I need to run it by our friends first, okay?” “Oooohhh is it a surprise? Or a secret?” “S-something like that” My voice failed me. She couldn’t, in a hundred years, predict what I wanted to say, and that just made me feel worse. “I just need a couple second opinions on this before I run it by you, okay?” “Of course! I’m excited, heheh. By the way, did you see my pictures?” “Uh, no, what pictures?” “Oh you check the dms when you can. Let’s just say my hair has been pilfered thoroughly, like an ancient tomb.” That got a chuckle out of me, but I needed to stay focussed. “I’ll definitely check it asap!” “Yeah! Oh and we have to decide with the girls what’s the proper date to celebrate getting into college, all of them are super excited to be together, and honestly, I am too!!” “Y-yeah, me too.” “So how was the grand galloping gala, anyways?” I loved hearing her voice, but every second we spoke was another chance of me slipping up– I had to be pragmatic. “I’ll tell you later– Listen, I’ve gotta go, I’ll let you know when we can meet and run that thing by you, okay?” “Oh, okay…” She sounded a bit disappointed, and I can’t blame her. “Well, I’ll see you later. I love you, Sunsun!” “I-I love you, Twilight.” That was hard to say. Not because I didn’t mean it. But because it felt like I didn’t deserve to say it. Not after all of this. Not after I was considering doing this. I turned off the call, and exhaled, shaking my head. Focus. One step at a time. Still looking at my phone, I scrolled on my dms, and went to Applejack directly. “Hey AJ. Is it just you and Rarity together in Apple Acres right now?” I fidgeted a bit more, gathering myself. The response took a little bit, and I wasn’t surprised, Applejack had a certain tunnel vision when she was with Rarity. I quickly looked at Twilight’s dms, and was bombarded with adorable pictures of her hair being made in a handful of absurd ways– but honestly? She could pull them off incredibly. Cadence was clearly snickering as she took those pictures, while Twilight had a mix of amusement and disdain– But I’ll be honest, that little nerd is beautiful. She really could pull off any look. I could see her descriptions of the pics, and she specifically went “I can’t believe I agreed to this” in the end. Smirking, I was quick to text “I thought Rarity was the one that could pull off any look, but you’re putting her to shame, Sparkles.” I yelled a curse word out, fuck, this was NOT the time for flirting, it was NOT the time for oogling over my adorable girlfriend, I needed to FOCUS!!! My phone buzzed, and I saw a response from Applejack. It involuntarily made me stand up. “No partner, we’re at her place right now, but it’s just us, why?” I breathed deeply. This was it. “I’m coming over. I need to talk to you two about something, and it’s big.”