Thibi designed these super cool awesome new business cards for me.  I'll roll into Everfree Northwest looking like a boss with these things.

Also, here's something I'm working on for DustTraveler's Quantum Castaways, which is a completely amazing story that you should go read right now.

I'm making business cards to distribute at Everfree Northwest.  I would appreciate suggestions for improving them.

I stumbled onto the founding fathers as pinup models.  I regretted clicking that link, and you probably will, too.  Have fun!

This is the beginning of a bad idea.

Source

You like the Grateful Dead, don't you?

If you've been reading Roadtrip, you've seen the part about the pickup truck that Sandy's wife drives.  While I love my car, sometimes I just need a truck.  The problem with this is that your friends always want help.  "Hey, I'm moving."  "Hey, I just bought this large, awkward object and need to get it home."  "Hey, my car broke, can you give me a tow?"  Being the person with the truck is a lot of responsibility, however you lend a hand because you aren't a dick, and maybe they'll buy you a case of beer for your trouble.

Okay, I'll be honest that this isn't a very good transition to my actual point, but imagine that the truck is my position within the ponyfiction community and that you are my friends. (You don't have to imagine that, you are my friends.)  In just under a month, I'll be going to Seattle to attend Everfree Northwest.  What can I do for you while I'm there?  Leave a comment.

Ah, but you'd feel bad asking me for something and not giving something in return, right?  As a matter of fact, I do need something from you.  I will be attending various fanfiction panels at Everfree Northwest, and I could use help identifying my own thoughts, strengths, and weaknesses.

The panels will cover a variety of topics.  Please share with me your thoughts on the following items.  Things that you like, don't like, or think a story should have.  What is important about each of these topics?  How does an author go about being good at them?  Please also comment on things that you think I do particularly well or poorly.

Setting

Plot

Characters

Editing and Proofreading

Literary Merit

Symbolism & Literary Devices

Making the Big Time

Community Outreach & Interactions

I'm offering you guys a choice of my next major story.  I have to finish up Millie and Roadtrip first, so a new story will probably start in about mid-July.

Option 1:

While helping to clean up the rubble after the changeling invasion, Twilight is attacked by a creature that embeds itself inside her body.  Scared and confused, she realizes that it's a new form of changeling.  Unable to tell anypony for fear that she'll be considered a freak herself, Twilight must find the land of the changelings and figure out some way to remove the unwanted passenger inside her.  The journey will not be easy, and along the way Twilight discovers an astonishing symbiotic relationship with the creature, granting abilities like flight. Twilight must reluctantly work with the thing inside her while trying to find a way to escape its grip.

Option 2:

Cheerilee has spent a very long time as a vampire.  So long, in fact, that the only thing that scares her is forming a relationship with somepony only to see them slip away.  As the least sociable agent in the employ of the crown, Princess Luna sends her to investigate when one town becomes mysteriously enthusiastic about Hearts and Hooves day.

And here's some unrelated art:

But first a word from our sponsors: There is now a group for Battleships!

I mentioned shaving with a straight razor in Roadtrip.  While that story isn't entirely a biography, I do own a straight razor and have learned to use it reasonably well.  Any man looks more manly when using one mighty blade to clear away their stubble.  While I realize that this blog is primarily geared towards men- ladies, you liked Sweeny Todd, right?

Starting out:

I recommend a cheap kit.  This is not a "real" straight razor; it has replaceable blades.  But for twenty bucks, you get three hundred blades.  Yeah, dirt cheap.  I can vouch that each blade lasts more than one shave, too.  

Your canned shaving cream won't help you here.  Besides, this is all about upgrading, right?  Your local pharmacy might have shave soap or you can buy it online.  It's just a cake of soap that you have to get wet to use.  I prefer soap over cream because it's much thinner and you can see through it - useful when you're using a much sharper straight razor.  In fact, when I get lazy and just use a regular safety razor I still use the soap because I like it so much more.  I also think shave soap is slicker, and lets the razor slide easier.  If you want to get superfancy, get a brush for lathering and applying the soap.  They sell these along with soap in shave kits.

Usage:

Let's get this out of the way to begin with: you will probably cut yourself at first.  Scrape the blade, don't slice it.  Never move the blade sideways.  That's when you get cut.

But now for actual usage tips.  Get your skin warm and moist.  Taking a shower is probably the best way, but you can also use hot water from the sink.  A barber might use hot wet towels.  Afterwards, apply your soap, rubbing it into the hair.  Then, begin to scrape downwards on the hair keeping the blade as parallel to your face as possible.  A straight razor will make a scraping noise unlike a safety razor.  Use your fingers to stretch the skin because a straight razor is wider and doesn't conform to the curves of your face as well.  To get the proper technique, check for straight razor videos on YouTube.  When the razor gets cruddy with hair, rinse with hot water and keep going.

After shaving downwards, wash your face with hot water and reapply soap.  Now shave upwards.  This ensures the closest shave.

Cleanup:

Remember to dry your razor after each use.  Steel blades don't get dull from scraping on your skin, they get dull because of oxidation.  After finishing your shave, you can finally use cold water to wash off your face.  This might help tighten your skin and soothe any razorburn you may have given yourself.  Aftershave is optional; I personally never liked the smell.

Even more manly:

Shaving with an actual knife.

Notice how he uses a regular bar of soap.  Also observe how he stretches the skin with his other hand and sometimes repositions his tongue to help.

The channel, CarterCutlery, has a lot of videos about blades and sharpening, and like he said, this is a knife he usually uses for roofing.  I personally have shaved with my pocket knife (only once; it was a pain to hone it that sharp).

What's even more manly than that?

Watch how he sharpens it, stropping on a piece of leather.  The same principle applies to straight razors - a final strop of fine material to smooth out the edge and polish it.  The edge is sharp enough when you can lay a hair on it and it cuts.  The topic of sharpening is a whole other blog, however.  Have fun!

My parents are in town, taking a vacation to visit me.  I appreciate it; family is family after all.  Take note, however: my writing this weekend will probably not get done on schedule.

My mom liked the Central Intelligence Agency mug I got for her.  My dad liked the trailer wiring adaptor I got for him.  (My parents are a little weird - go figure, right?)

I loved the book they got for me.

They know me so well.

In other news, I'm trying to identify the name of this song and could use some help.  There will be a prize!

Would anyone be interested in seeing a blog from me about shaving with a straight razor?

The things I do every week:

Update Roadtrip, Millie, and The Adventures of Trixie if Her Father Was a Badass Alien. Take over the world. Expect a new chapter of each within a few days.

This will likely be the last update of Roadtrip before July 1, however.  I have something planned, and don't want to bet on the Minnesota Twins to do what I expect.

In other news, I now have a derpibooru account.  Surprise, surprise, Crowley commented on my cover art for Deep.  I've never read any of his stories because most of them are clop, but browsing his images revealed that apparently he likes underwater things.

Here's a picture of Chysalis wearing a hoodie.

Source

Roadtrip is now posted, and while I was planning to sprinkle it with TNaB advice on how to be super duper cool and megaawesome like me, I figured why limit it to just the readers?  If you guys like the idea, I'll do a series of blogs on things that I think could make you - you! - more badass.

I am not actually super duper cool and megaawesome.

Guide to Life part 1 - The Kit

Every time I leave home, I have certain things with me.  Wallet, keys, and phone obviously, but a few other things.  When I was a Boy Scout, they taught me to be prepared.  While true preparedness would involve lugging an entire backpack of stuff around, I've managed to decide on just the essentials.  All the things listed fit in just my hip pockets.

Keys - I have two keyrings.  One for car keys and one for house keys.  They each have different attachments.  For instance, I don't go to the store without my car, so I keep store membership tags on that ring.  Even when I'm not using my car, I'll always need my house keys, so I keep a small LED light on that ring so I'll always have it.

Knife - I carry a Victorinox Tinker, a 10-function "swiss army knife" that I've had for about ten years.  It's relatively small, but has screwdrivers and tweezers, things that come in handy more often than you think.  The downside to a knife is that you have to plan ahead.  Some places won't let you enter with a knife, and some places confiscate them!

Wallet - I try to keep it slim.  Real leather is more durable.  Over a few years, cheaper wallets begin to fall apart.  The surface coloring of fake leather begins to flake off.  In my wallet, I keep a defunct credit card for various purposes which may or may not include opening doors (a knife blade also works well for this).  More importantly, I keep bandaids in my wallet.  They come in handy quite a lot, actually.  Even if someone isn't hurt you can use them to tape things together.

Pen - You always need something to write with.

Phone - It's the 2010's.  This is a given.

Depending on where I am and what I'm doing, this list can and does change.  For instance, when I was a summer camp counselor, I also carried a multitool with pliers and scissors, a watch, a lighter, and didn't usually carry a cell phone.

These are just the things I have on my person.  In my vehicle, I have a lighter, flashlights, a toolkit, two blankets, a cigarette-lighter powered air compressor, several pairs of gloves for various purposes, a tow strap, duct tape, ear plugs, ibuprofen, a first-aid kit, jumper cables, safety glasses, a collapsible shovel, dental floss, and an aluminum baseball bat.  Yes, I have needed all these things before.  Even if you never have to use them, you look like a badass for saving someone who needs them but doesn't have any.

Do I sound paranoid?  Maybe, but I could pack in even more stuff if I wanted.  These are just the things that I find use for every so often.  I typically don't carry things that I know I won't use.  Being prepared means knowing what you are likely to need.  For instance, a lot of people like to carry paracord, but I personally have never found a use for it.

Everyday Carry is a picture blog where you can see what other people carry and come up with ideas.

Comments?  Questions?  What do you carry?

I'm bored.  So I blogged about firearms.  Again.

There are a lot of common misconceptions that come up.  Having worked in the industry and been around a little, I'd like to talk about a few completely unrelated topics.

Glocks

You've heard of a Glock.  Either in the news, a video game, or some gangsta rap.  The Glock is an Austrian design that was one of the first pistols on the market to have a plastic frame.  This makes it lighter and cheaper.  It does not mean it will fool a metal detector. It set the pattern for the multitude of polymer-frame pistols on the market today.

What surprises most people is what the Glock doesn't have.  It doesn't have an external hammer or safety.  This makes it simpler to operate, which is why it is a favorite of both cops and criminals.  It is also less safe, because there's no selectable safety!  This is why police have sturdy holsters that keep the trigger covered and secure when not in use.  Gangstas have baggy pants.

Ammo

There are hundreds of kinds of ammunition out there, and it can be very confusing.  For instance, what's the difference between .380 ACP, .38 Special, .357 Magnum, 9mm Makarov, and 9x19mm Parabellum?  All of them use a bullet that is exactly 9mm in diameter, but they are vastly different cartridges!

Let's break it down into metric vs. inches.  A designation like 9x19 usually specifies diameter x case length.  The case is the shiny brass part.  

Metric designations usually make more sense than inches.  For instance, what's the difference between .357 Magnum and .38 Special?  Not much, except .357 has a case 1/8" longer.  They can use the same bullet.  But wait-  .357" = 9mm!  Then where does .38 come from?  That's the diameter of the case, not the bullet.  Like I said, metric is easier.  For instance, Dirty Harry's famous .44 actually measures .429" !

Going a little deeper, what do the extra suffixes mean?  Well, 9x19mm Parabellum is Latin meaning "For War."  (To further confuse things, it's also sometimes called 9x19 Luger, because it was first used in Luger pistols.  Yeah, 9x19 was the #1 choice of Nazis.)  Most times, the suffix is just a little nickname to differentiate a cartridge from the rest.  Sometimes it actually means something, like .45 ACP, where ACP = "Automatic Colt Pistol"

And what about kinds of bullets?  Let's start with an easy one: full metal jacket (FMJ).  That means the lead bullet is wrapped in a coat of other metal, usually copper.  Jacketed hollow point (JHP) also has the copper, but there is a hole in the front of the bullet.  This is usually intended to make the bullet expand when it hits the target, theoretically causing bigger holes.  Less common types include wadcutter, with a flat nose for punching neat holes in paper targets; and frangible, designed to disintegrate into tiny particles upon impact to minimize their penetration.  Armor-piercing and incendiary are self explanatory.

Leet sniper skilz

Depending on the video games you play, you probably know that long range precision shooting not only requires special weapons, but special techniques.  I was on a target team for a few years, and learned a little about the bodily processes involved.  The technical details would take a whole other blog.

Most people shoot best prone (lying on your stomach), but some things carry over to any position.  First, get into position.  This means getting your rifle on target.  Next, relax completely.  Act like a wet noodle.  Your sights probably moved off target when you relaxed.  Adjust your position until you can relax and the rifle is still on target.  By having no tension on your muscles, you’re less likely to twitch and throw off your aim.

Now we come down to the breathing aspect.  Try a little example.  Take a deep breath and then let it mostly out.  You probably have three or four seconds before you feel like you need to take another breath.  That little pause is when you’re the closest to being completely still.  This is the time you should take the shot.

And finally, trigger control.  Squeeze, don’t pull.  You should move the trigger slowly, so slow that it surprises you when it fires.  In addition, it helps to follow though-that is, keeping the trigger to the rear momentarily until you move your finger forward to reset the trigger.  Jerking your finger forward as soon as the shot goes off can actually disrupt your aim.

All of this is more of an art than a science, but if you practice you get better and faster.  Some people can actually listen to their heart and fire between beats.  From personal experience, I know that meditation helps calm your nerves.

As always, I’m available for questions or clarification.

First off, reading this blog may reveal spoilers for Combat Magic, as well as a story I haven't written yet.  Be advised.

So!  I totally know how Combat Magic is going to end.  It looks amazing in my mind.  I don't know how many chapters it will take to get there or the exact details, but the final battle will be so totally epic.  It will take place inside a volcano.  With magical bitch-slapping.  And gun kata.  Also A-10's standing by for air support.  Awesome.

Also, I wrote this short bit for an upcoming story:

I carefully tucked my napkin in.  I had been on edge ever since sitting down to eat with the Princesses, and I was sure they noticed.  I tried to keep my fingers from shaking.  This was not the time to drop anything.

"How is your school going?" asked Princess Celestia.

"Oh, it's fine."  I paused.  It felt like I should say something else.  "Education is very important to me.  To everyone, I suppose."

"Interesting," commented Celestia.  "I was just talking to Ban Ki-Moon the other day, and he said something of the same thing."

I took a moment to remember who that was.  Oh right.  The Secretary General of the United Nations.  That Ban Ki-Moon.  He was Celestia's pal apparently; no big deal.

Princess Luna was studying me.  "Is everything all right?  You look rather nervous."

"Er...just not used to the attention," I replied, fumbling words.  "I guess I don't make a very good celebrity."

"Do you meet famous people or ponies often?" asked Celestia, shifting the conversation.

I thought for a moment.  "I once saw Neil Armstrong at a science event.  That's about my only brush with fame, though."

"I met him once," recalled Luna.  "The conversation was a bit dull, however.  Neither of us could find more than one thing to talk about."

I almost asked what.  Fortunately, dinner was served before I could make a complete fool out of myself.

And a different kind of snippet from the future:

I will be going to Everfree Northwest this July.  That's the 'Con in Seattle.  I have a few details that I don't know if I'm allowed to share with the general public, but suffice to say that there are other names that you will recognize from FIMFiction in attendance.  Also, Peter New (voice of Big Mac), the Friendship is Witchcraft crew, and a couple of others who will be announced in the time leading up to the event.