The last two chapters have been... sort of rough. The writing doesn't quite flow in some places, and some scenes weren't quite there, or missing something to tie their place in the story together, and I apologize for it.

The reason for it is mostly the fact that I published a pair of first drafts.

After all the grueling hours of self editing spent on FHFH revisions, doing as much as 10 hours in a single day sometimes, I now get repulsed by the idea of doing any more self editing. I've also been stuck without a proper editor or proof reader for a while (though I've recently picked one up).

I'm looking for anyone who feels they have a decent grasp on grammar/writing mechanics and feels they have a likewise decent grasp on storytelling/story analysis. I'm going to bite the bullet and begin editing my own work again, going over those two chapters today, and afterwards I'll send a gdocs link with commenting to anyone who volunteers. Simply PM, or leave a comment saying you'd like to help.

And I'm sorry again about the dip in quality. I try to hold myself to an updating schedule, and this time I let the integrity of my work suffer for it.

If you do a reasonably well job proof reading these chapters and want to edit future chapters, let me know and I'll start sending them out to you as I complete them.

Thought I'd make a new post with an update about my next story.

[Slice-of-life][Sad]

Title: Chrysalis is a Changeling

Summary: Chrysalis has a terrible secret. One she has never told any of her hive. Sneaking around behind their backs and living a double life as their leader, Chrysalis has to somehow hide the fact that she's a changeling, lest the rest of the hive find out what she is.

Notes: I wanted to write this because after seeing other similar stories with other characters, I felt they all missed the mark. The idea had potential, but the characters people chose for it were usually very bad for the idea.

So, I started thinking about who it would make the most sense to have as a changeling, and well, I'm surprised no one thought of this earlier. Chrysalis is a character who rules with an iron hoof, and the impact if the rest of her hive ever found out she was a changeling would be devestating. Her world would be shattered.

It never felt like the big reveal had any lasting or real consequences in other fics I've read of this nature. My goal is to reinvent the idea by creating a story where such a secret really holds an impact.

So, let me know what you think. I've been thinking this idea through for a while now and am really eager for some thoughts/want to gauge interest in it.

When Rainbow Dash crashes into the library one too many times, Twilight ends up becoming her coach for the upcoming Best Young Flier Competition. As they train together, Rainbow Dash's thoughts begin to drift to the librarian, and her feelings towards her change. After coming to terms with these feelings, she decides to tell Twilight, and plans a special night of stargazing for the occasion.

But when she comes out and haphazardly kisses Twilight on the lips, Twilight shoves her away, yells at Dash for stealing her first kiss, and storms back to the library. Rainbow follows her back to the library outside the front door, and tells Twilight she's not leaving until she lets her properly apologize to her. Twilight tells her to go home, and leaves the door closed.

The next morning, Twilight gets up and finds Rainbow Dash still outside the library door, a shivering mess from staying out in the cold. Despite still being mad at her for the out-of-the-blue kiss the night before, she takes her inside. The first thing Dash does when she brings her inside is apologize to her.

After a few days spent nursing Rainbow Dash back to health at her bedside, Twilight begins to think about what her friend means to her, and what the kiss meant. Although she hadn't ever really thought about being in a relationship, Dash was her friend, and it couldn't hurt to see how things went after a date or two.

A few nights later after Dash recovers, the two go on a date, and it goes wonderfully.

But the Best Young Flier Competition still lies on the horizon. Dash continues training in the days leading up to it, but after still failing in practice to do a sonic rainboom, her confidence falters, and she asks if Twilight could come to cheer her on.

The two of them go up to Cloudsdale, where Twilight quickly begins to panic about them being seen in public together. Her paranoia about what other ponies think, and the chances of running into somepony they know, cause her to distance herself from Dash, causing a rift in their relationship. After seeing Twilight act like this all day, Dash lets it out at her, to which Twilight admits she's still uncertain about their relationship.

Dash tells Twilight that she has to make a firm decision, just before leaving for the competition.

Twilight lies down and thinks about it in their hotel room, playing over the events of the past couple weeks in her head. Eventually, she realizes that this is what she wants, and chases down Dash to the coliseum, kissing her in front of everypony. Dash goes on to perform a sonic rainboom and win the contest, scoring a day with the Wonderbolts.

When Celestia presents Rainbow Dash with her award, she asks the pegasus if she'll tell her student to send her a letter about what she's learned from their relationship so far.

On the night spent with the Wonderbolts, Dash gets to meet the whole team, along with Spitfire, whom she met already at the marketplace before the competition. The night goes well, and they all have a great time, but eventually the restaurant closes and they have to call it a night.

However, after all the other Wonderbolts leave, Spitfire takes Dash out to the restaurant's balcony: settled high in the clouds of Cloudsdale. The two of them go flying, where Rainbow Dash makes a lasting impression on Spitfire with her skill and ease in the air.

Late that night, the two of them fly back down to Ponyville and fall asleep together at the library. The next morning Dash confronts Twilight about telling their friends, and gathers their friends later that evening to give them the news that they're a couple now. When Dash is about to tell them, though, Twilight runs away, disappearing somewhere in Ponyville. Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Applejack, and Fluttershy search until dark, looking for her. They're about to call it a night, when Dash figures out where Twilight is, and finds her lying on the field where they first kissed, soul searching.

During the time that she ran away, Twilight's resolve solidified, and she herself breaks the news to their friends by telling them about her and Dash's first kiss.

The news is taken well by Pinkie Pie and Rarity, but Fluttershy and Applejack are hesitant, having grown up with certain values. They wish well for their friends, but admit that seeing two mares that they know together is strange.

Rainbow Dash can't believe that her two oldest friends in Ponyville would feel that way, and gets upset with them. She winds up storming off, leaving Twilight to comfort her. She doesn't speak to Fluttershy or Applejack for some time afterwards.

Twilight spends the time while Rainbow Dash is working on researching a spell she almost forgotten about: a spell to create a permanent pair of pegasus wings.

Meanwhile, Spitfire begins to develop a crush on Rainbow Dash, which distracts her to the point of being unable to stay focused in practice. In order to solve it, she takes her vacation time and goes to Ponyville, seeking to resolve the problem in some way or another. After a few days in the new town, she manages to meet up with Rainbow Dash after work, and the two go for another evening flight, which ends with Spitfire offering for Dash to join the Wonderbolts.

Despite it being her dream, Dash turns it down. She explains that she isn't quite ready to leave Ponyville yet, but is grateful for the offer. Spitfire lets her know that she can always contact her if she changes her mind.

Ever since they came back from Cloudsdale, Rainbow Dash has felt a little smothered by Twilight's affections, used to being on her own for so long. When the two of them go to spend the night at Rainbow Dash's place for a change, Dash stumbles over her words, making Twilight think she was breaking up with her.

In tears, Twilight wants to leave, and Dash, feeling guilty, takes her down from her cloud home up in the sky. Twilight just asks to be set down right on the ground below, and once there, kicks off of Dash's back and runs away into the dark and stormy night.

After having a moment to collect her thoughts, Dash goes after her, determined to make things right.

Twilight stumbles through the dark, lost, eventually stumbling across the home Spitfire's staying at. The Wonderbolt takes her in and offers her a shower and a bed to sleep in as Twilight tells her what happened. But less than an hour later, while Twilight is in the shower, Spitfire spots a silhouette out in the storm that she figures has to be Dash, looking for Twilight. She grabs a lantern and brings Rainbow Dash out of the storm, not telling her that Twilight was also there.

As they talk, it slips out that she has a crush on Dash. Rainbow doesn't believe her, so, thinking that Dash and Twilight had broken up, Spitfire lies on the couch on top of Rainbow Dash, and leans down to kiss her.

But before she can, they hear the door open then slam shut.

The gears in Dash's head turn, and she sits Spitfire back up and asks her in a dark tone,

Finding out that it was Twilight, Dash gets up and yells at Spitfire, where she finds out how she had accidentally broken up with Twilight. she chases Twilight down to the library, where Twilight has the door locked shut. Eventually, not wanting Dash to stay outside her door in the storm all night, she lets her in. The two of them talk very little, neither quite knowing what to say about what happened.

The next morning Dash leaves to ask for advice on what to do, while both of them are left wondering what the state of their relationship is.

Spitfire also goes out to seek advice, on how she can regain Dash's trust. She eventually finds Twilight at the Carousel Boutique, being comforted by Rarity. Peeping in through a window, she sees Twilight with her head buried in her hooves, crying, and decides that first she needs to apologize to her.

She goes inside and explains the events of the night to her. How she'd been the one to put Dash in that position, what Dash had really meant, and how broken up Dash had been over Twilight running away. Then, she tells Twilight that she's leaving Ponyville and going back to Canterlot, having done enough damage here.

Twilight goes to Dash's home and waits for her to come back from work. She tackles Dash in a hug and pours her heart out, telling Dash how she felt that she had screwed up their relationship, and how she thought Dash was ending it because of that.

The two of them reconcile over past misunderstandings, and make up.

Dash asks where Spitfire is, and finds out from Twilight that she's catching a train that night back to Canterlot.

The two of them rush to the train station, seeing if they can catch her in time and thank her for bringing them back together, but they arrive right as the train's leaving, and having been up for almost 48 hours, neither was in any shape to catch up to it as it pulled away from the station.

They buy tickets and catch the next train to Canterlot.

Once they finally catch up to Spitfire, though, they find her broken down in her apartment, crying. Dash asks for Twilight to stand outside while she talks to her. Dash tries apologizing and explaining herself, but all Spitfire can do is yell at her for following her.

Dash interrupts her with an impulse driven kiss to her lips.

Both of them are shocked at her doing such a thing, and Spitfire asks why she did it.

Spitfire tells Rainbow Dash to get out of her apartment.

Dash walks outside to find Twilight, sitting by the door. She heard everything.

They talk things over.

Twilight tells her that she needs some time to think. As she leaves, Dash desperately catches up to her and kisses her, trying to elicit some emotion from her, but Twilight isn't receptive to it. After the kiss ends, Twilight rests her hoof on Dash's cheek.

Twilight goes to leave again, and this time Dash doesn't stop her.

Instead, she flies to Canterlot Palace to seek help from Princess Celestia: the only pony she can think of to go to help for. The Princess gives her some advice, and asks that whatever Dash decides to do, that she keeps her student's feelings in mind. She writes a letter for Twilight and tells Dash to give it to her, and that it would mean more coming from her.

Twilight goes to visit Spike, and talk to her old professor that he's staying with, seeking permission to access the restricted section of the Magic University's library. She tells him about her research into her spell, but he tells her that he can't condone research on such a taboo spell.

Meanwhile, Spitfire winds up finding Rainbow Dash atop a roof, watching the sunset. She apologizes for the way she acted back at the apartment, and they talk on a rooftop for a while about what happened, and then Spitfire asks what Dash feels for her. Dash can't answer. Spitfire kisses her, one last time, and then flies away.

Twilight's forced to sneak into the restricted section. Defensive magic countermeasures don't stand up to a student of the Princess, and she discovers some of Star Swirl the Bearded's early research that is closely linked to the spell she's working on now. Stealing it from the library, she disappears before she's discovered and makes it away in time to meet up with Dash.

When the two of them talk, they both admit how much of a disaster their relationship has been. Despite it though, Dash says she wouldn't give it up for anything in the world, and that she still wants to be together. Twilight is hesitant, but eventually Rainbow Dash manages to convince her that: although it will be hard, they can mend their broken relationship.

They kiss, and the kiss reminds Twilight of everything she feels when she's around Dash. The two of them leave, and catch a train back to Ponyville that very same night.

Now Dash still holds the Princess' letter, and is trying to regain Twilight's trust as Twilight heads home with a bounty of new research material for her spell.

^basically what the title says.

I've established a study schedule (ugh) that includes 2 hours of writing per day. This means that a chapter will probably be uploaded once per week to one of my stories.

I said that I wasn't going to start anything until I finished either Flying High, Falling Hard, or Equestria from Dust, and I'm going to stick to that.

Kind of.

I wrote what was supposed to be a one shot for a write-off (I won a IDW comic for it, too) but it turned into something that I'd like to expand upon and make a small series out of. The first chapter is 9k, and there will most likely be 3 chapters after that followed by an epilogue/5th chapter (it's going to be short). The genre is adventure/comedy, and outside of that, I don't want to say anything about it at this time. For readers of the above two stories: I'm not going to work on this new one during scheduled writing hours, only on my free time, if I have any

Flying High, Falling Hard has officially caught up to where it was!

That being said, I'd like to reassure previous readers that the plot hasn't really changed through the rewrite. The rewrite added more detail to the narration and dialogue, and altered/cut a few unimportant scenes in order to make them better, while added one or two minor scenes. The only really changed chapters are the first 4, which start the story with a significantly altered hook (which isn't really necessary to know). You shouldn't really lose anything from having read the old version and not the new one, is basically what I'm saying.

I've had the next two chapters written for it for quite some time, but they were written months ago, and I'd like to retype them out to make sure everything's in order with them. That being said, I'm going to be going back and forth between Equestria from Dust and Flying High, Falling Hard until they're both complete (maaaaaybe stopping for a one-shot along the way). So... party hard!

I just recently moved into the place I'm staying for university, and until the 7th I'm not writing or editing any of my fics. I'm studying to challenge two courses in the coming week so that I'm not stuck with only 2 or 3 summer classes, and my writing is taking a backseat to that. The next chapter of Flying High, Falling Hard has sort of been frozen halfway through its rewrite for the past week, and I'll probably finish the other half all in one day next weekend, or possibly a bit before.

[Shipping][Slice of Life]

Left only with a promise to keep in touch, Rainbow Dash struggles to convey her feelings, and to figure out what the words were that she couldn't say on that one last snowy night at the train station before Twilight left. As everyone slowly drifts apart, Dash will have to put in the effort if she wants to keep her friends together.

Current word count: 8,927

This story has a light Hearth's Warming Eve touch to it, and as such it's sort of my Christmas present to you guys. With it more or less done, I'm going to start working on chapter 11 of Equestria from Dust. Chapter 23 of Flying High, Falling Hard should be edited up soon and subsequently posted thereafter, and then I'm going to try getting around to that Let's Find You a Date! epilogue (or I might try posting it as a semi-standalone sequel) and the Nightmare's Night revisions.

It was dark out and Twilight had snuck away from the library, a pair of pillows under the sheets in her place as she went to meet her forbidden love. The others would never understand how true and how deep their love for each other ran.

She glanced up at the moon; she was late, late for a very important date. With no time to lose, she sprinted to the willow tree by the pond they had agreed to meet at.

She galloped over the hill, freezing as she saw him standing under the willow tree, waiting for her. Fireflies danced like candlelight over the pond, the soft melody of frogs and crickets filled the air. His coat was white and regal as ever as his ears stood pointed, listening for her.

“Oh, Angel-bunny!” Twilight shouted, galloping down the hill towards the willow tree. Angel’s head swiveled around to the sound of her voice, but as she neared to sweep him up in a hug, he held his paw out to stop her.

Twilight’s brow knitted together in concern. “Angel-bunny? What’s wrong?”

He looked up at her, his eyes holding a sad expression that seemed to say, “Twilight, darling, we’ll never be together. Not the way you deserve. I’m no good for ya, hun, we had our time, but I think it’s been and passed.”

Tears began to pool at the corner of Twilight’s eyes. “Angel-bunny… no…” She bit back a sob, clenching her eyes shut and hanging her head. “I thought we would always be together. I thought nothing would stand in the way of our love.”

Angel averted his eyes from hers in a way that almost seemed to say, “I did, too.”

Twilight sniffled, reaching up and wiping away her tears. “W-we could run away together! The Princess taught me a spell, I could—”

Twilight was silenced by a paw pressing to her lips. Angel looked up at her with a determined look, as if to say, “I’ve made up my mind, hun. This will be the last time we’re together.”

A sob escaped Twilight. She scooped up Angel in her hooves, holding him close to her heart—where he always was—and burying her muzzle in his soft white fur. Angel closed his eyes and returned the embrace, patting her back.

Pushing on Twilight’s chest to meet her eyes, Angel looked up at her with a look that said, “These few, precious moments have been the best of my life. And no other gal I meet will quite live up to you, Sweetcheeks.”

Twilight blinked away her tears. “But what will you do? All the rabbits got forced out of Ponyville when the beavers blocked off their drinking water.”

Angel’s ears tensed, his face holding a grim look that conveyed the message, “Then I’ll grow old as a lonely man with only a framed picture of that night we shared by the cabbage field, your mane softly glowing in a moonlight serenade.”

Twilight felt Angel trying to wriggle out of her grasp, and let him go. He landed on the ground on all fours. Standing up, he dusted himself off with his front paws and walked away from Twilight to the willow tree, stopping at it and turning, his eyes holding a look that said, “And as for the beavers? Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a dam.”

He picked up his fedora lying by the willow tree, placing it on his head and tipping it down over his eyes as he walked off into the moonlit hills, never to be seen by Twilight again.

In summary: it echoed the comments section.

"We have most enjoyed time spent with thou, and ask permission to court thee,", "'My answer is yes,' Twilight said, 'I’m not sure if it’s the right answer, but it’s the one my heart is telling me to go with, so... yes.'" / Now that's questionable. First, I guess I am to assume that both Luna and Twilight are lesbians from the get-go as neither of them is phased by the prospect of being together, at least not in regards to their sexuality. Second, a lot of this feels forced, and not just because Luna wants Twilight's answer by midnight. Twilight says her heart is telling her to say yes but in reality she only waited a couple hours at most before telling Luna, in that time they conversed a bit, realized they share a few interests/traits/etc., and then Twilight takes the plunge. Both Twilight and Luna appear rather shallow because of this, Twilight because she actually knows very little about Luna, and Luna is because of the same reason as Twilight but also because we don't know enough from her point-of-view. Third, neither of them appear sincere in regards to the proposal, Luna poses it out of the blue but seems alright with Twilight saying no, and Twilight is perfectly okay with the prospect of just being Luna's friend. All in all, does it seem believable?

Hmm... it's alright, but it could certainly be better. Problems with punctuation (use/misuse/lack of commas, lack of hyphens where needed), capitalization, character dialogue/action redundancies, lack of depth in characters, lack of closure, questionable portrayal of characters, and show versus tell (character actions/reactions/expressions, expression of emotion, place and time, general descriptions, "character said this, character said that" style of writing) are present within the story and should be addressed during the editing process. Mechanically, there's not much wrong with the story, it's the plot and how the story is conveyed that falls flat. The writing is rather tell-y and despite the story nearly reaching six thousand words, it feels like it barely scratches the surface on the story it could be telling. This isn't to say that it needs to be a long, multi-part story, one-shots do come with certain constraints (especially when it comes to shipping) and I do understand that, but Luna's proposal is surprising not only to Twilight but in how it doesn't leave a lasting impact on the story. Simply put, it needs to be fleshed out more. This is the first strike of three and I'd advise you to put as much effort as possible into the story before resubmitting. Please take your time and don't rush.

In all honesty, I was rushed in writing this story. I wrote it in 2 days and came up with it as I went along to get it out for Nightmare Night. Arguably I should have taken my time and released it in November (but where's the fun in that?)

I'm going to flesh out and add dialogue to the pumpkin scene, since I feel it's the main offender, but also I'll be adding some more content leading up to that to show that Twilight has been thinking about Luna's question.