I was checking over my folders while starting Chapter 16 and I found this passage I had cut from Chapter 14. It's deleted for a reason, but I thought some people might get a kick out of it anyway. Mostly because it contains more Bob and everyone seems to love him. This never made it to the editing table so you are forewarned about the many typos it abounds with.

.........

I was surprised we weren’t attracting more attention, but it looked like we’d planned the route well. Galloping had proven difficult to say the least so I’d changed the pace to a trot. Even then the short Royal Guard following me was having a hard time. We stopped for a second so I could check our whereabouts when my companion spoke in an incongruously feminine voice. “Please tell me we’re almost done. I don’t believe I can hold this spell another minute.”

I glanced back and forth, but there was nopony around to hear one of Celestia’s guards talk like an aristocratic woman. Of course, for all I knew that wasn’t an uncommon occurrence, but there’s no sense taking chances. “Let’s duck into the alley, then you can let it drop.”

“Thank Celestia,” she said with more sincerity than a preacher in church. The next alley was small and shadowed, but it contained little of the nastier garbage that I would have been expected in Chicago. The only litter I saw in the tight passage was some old posters and an empty cup.

The moment we were out of sight the illusion began to dissolve, replacing a pair of royal guards with Rarity and me. As the final touch the ‘spear’ Rarity had been carrying faded into my familiar staff. The white unicorn looked more than a little disheveled, but she had just run half a mile wearing armor and enough padding to make it fit. Which given the girth of that unicorn had meant most of Twilight’s sheets and her bedspread. Luckily I had fit my guard’s suit better, but my coat and various tools had made things hot for me as well.

We both stripped off the heavy armor then tied all of it into bundles with the sheets. I shoved them into the nearest trashcan, hoping that nopony got curious about the clanking noise they were making. Rarity was examining herself with obvious distaste and asked me fervently, “We are going to get a chance to freshen up at Bon-bon’s, aren’t we?”

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. “I’m sure we’ll have time for you to fix yourself up.”

Rarity gave a skeptical glance but let the matter drop. “You go ahead then. I’ll wait fifteen minutes before following. Their house is only a block away, correct?”

I frowned. “Why wait?”

Rarity stared at me for a second before she realized I wasn’t kidding. Upon seeing that I wasn’t picking up on whatever it was, she cleared her throat and explained. “Because if we exited together then anypony who saw us would see a mare and stallion sneaking out of a very private alleyway, looking very disheveled and worn out. It would appear that we had been engaged in a heart-to-heart. If you understand my meaning.”

I almost, almost, told her I still didn’t get it, but Bob started chuckling and that give me a big enough hint. Sorry for being slow, but that was not the first thing that came to mind when I think about ponies. Especially not where it would involve me. I felt my cheeks start heating up and I coughed awkwardly, for lack anything to say. Unfortunately Bob wasn’t so constrained.

“I don’t think your heart would be the body part getting worn out. Not if you’re doing it right,” he ended with a leer that transcended both his immobile features and the black bag covering them. I began kneading one of my temples hoping to stave off the inevitable headache.

“Ugh,” Rarity complained. “Must you make everything so vulgar?”

“Sorry,” he replied without an ounce of sincerity or regret. “But it’s hard not to around a pony as beautiful as you. All of your friends are hot, but you’re still the best.”

The unexpected compliment rocked the seamstress back on her heels, and raised my level of discomfort at least two notches. I took a sidelong glance out of the alleyway, but there was a group of ponies passing by. I needed to wait until they were gone.

“Thank you,” Rarity offered cautiously. “That’s kind of you, but I’d have to disagree. Fluttershy was model after all and if Applejack actually cared about her appearance I couldn’t compare.”

Bob let out a short bark of laughter. “Yeah right. Sure, Fluttershy is cute and Applejack looks like she’d be a hellcat in bed, but you’ve got elegance, a charisma that neither of them can match. I bet you’ve got stallions at your beck and call anywhere you go.”

Rarity smiled at that. Not a huge smile, or even a warm one, but it still made my jaw drop like an anvil. She rolled her eyes indulgently, and waved a hoof in a little ‘go on’ gesture. “I don’t know about ‘beck and call’ but, yes, gentlecolts do notice when I enter the room.”

“Then, consider me another fan. I−”

The street was finally clear and you couldn’t have paid me to stick around any longer. I tried to move casually but doubted that anypony’s normal walking pace was that fast. I had timed my movement well. There was nopony near me on the street, which was good since Bob was still running his mouth.

“Really, sahib?” He said in a sotto whisper. “I was finally getting somewhere and you just had to drag me away. Just because you don’t have an open mind−”

“Shut up.” I hissed. “We’re in public and you’re insane if you think a couple of compliments would make her do more than tolerate you.” Bob went through some petulant muttering, but he kept it low enough that even I could barely hear it. I almost missed his typical condescension and arrogance compared to single track his mind had been on since we arrived. Still, I’d rather him with me, than worry about what kind of trouble he could get into on his own. He was loyal to whoever owned the skull and in his eyes possession was ten-tenths of the law. The thought of the Order getting their hands on some of his knowledge made me shudder.

In no time flat I arrived at the back door of Bon-bon and Lyra’s house. I had my staff out and ready, just in case. I didn’t think candy-maker had turned on me, but like the man said ‘trust everybody, but cut the cards’.

This door had an eye slit too, but the amber orbs on the other side barely gave me a glance before throwing the door open. “Hurry up and get in here.” Lyra hissed.

Well, as many ... okay most ... fine, almost all of you gathered I am not stopping production on False Masks or leaving the site. Apparently, mine was not the most original of April Fool's jokes, but I'd like to think it was convincingly written at least. Besides the bit about being low on time was no joke yeesh sometimes my deadlines are a pain. Anyway, I'm afraid you lot are stuck with me so here's to many more stories about candy colored ponies based on a children's card game TV show.

Oh, and the next chapter of False Masks should be out in about a week.

I've got some bad news to share and I wish there was an easier way to do it, but really there isn't. My agent, bless her stressed soul, finally found out about my 'personal project'. Suffice to say she wasn't happy. We had a conversation which involved a lot of teeth gritting on her part and some half-hearted defense on mine. Frankly, Dresden Fillies and everything else I've done on here with you crazy people has been a guilty pleasure, but now that I'm writing two series concurrently (and way too many short stories among other odds and ends) it's a drain on my time I can't really afford. Which doesn't even begin to get into the legal ramifications if Hasbro discovered I'm doing this; though, trust me, she covered those at length as well.

Long story short, I'm afraid I can't finish False Masks or even get started on any of my proposed stories. I'm leaving up everything I've done, but don't expect anything new from me. Dropping Harry into a sugar-coated wonderland and watching him go nuts was a special kind of fun, but nothing lasts forever. I'm sorry to do this to you guys especially after all the loyalty, kindness, laughter, generosity and friendship you all have shown me. I left out honesty because you all give me a hell of a lot more praise than I deserve, but I thank you for it all the same. This is one of the best fandoms on the web and I'm not saying that just because I'm a part of it.

Signing off,

Psychicscubadiver, one long shot of an author.

Hello. I'm not sure how many of you own a Wii U, but I have obtained one recently and I'm liking the look of the Miiverse. I'm not entirely certain of to add friends, but my user name is Psychicscubadivr (just to warn you it's missing the 'e'. Damn name limits) so add me if you'd like.

In an unrelated note I'm still working on the next Dresden Fillies chapter after finally getting through a difficult bit of writer's block. It should be out in a week if everything goes as planned.

...

...

...

Which means now that I've said so, it won't.

Merry Christmas to everyone. Or whatever holiday you happen to enjoy (except Anti-christmas, you darn satanists). I hope everybody is having a good time however they celebrate. In our household it mostly involves eating and alternating caustic sarcasm with terrible puns. Hopefully, y'all set the bar a little higher.

I bought a copy of Cold Days, the latest Dresden Files novel, this morning and did nothing but read today.

And holy shit was it worth it.

I'm not going to spoil anything, but damn man. Butcher is at the top of his game. Chessmasters at play, friends and enemies revisited, and most of all Truth. Yes, capital 'T' truth about things Harry has never even imagined.

Somehow this book both changes the game and beautifully resets the pieces for the series to continue.

Suffice to say, I enjoyed it.

Well, you guys were certainly decisive in what you wanted. Option One won in a landslide. False Masks still has about 6-8 chapters to go, so this story'll probably show up in spring.

Also, somebody did a reading of the Prologue and First Chapter of Strange Friends. I've had several people ask permission for similar projects but this guy is the first to do it. If y'all are into to that kind of thing check him out.

Prologue

First Chapter

Hello everyone, it's your friendly neighborhood psychicscubadiver again.

Chapter Nine is in the process of being edited, but in the meantime I got to thinking about my next story. False Masks isn't going to end anytime soon, but I'd like to get your input on what I do afterwards. And yes before anyone asks there will be a third installment of the Dresden Fillies, but I'd like to write something different in between the two of them. This blog is to get your opinions on my ideas, because I don't have anywhere near enough time to explore them all.

Option One

Fantasy Human in Equestria. There exists a hidden society of humans deep within the northern mountains in place where nopony can reach. However, one explorer manages to survive the trip and shares his tale as a storyteller. But nothing is ever so simple. Not when something seems to have followed him all the way to Ponyville. This one would feature a world in which humans not only existed in Equestria, but also have their own magic system. It will not feature the 'humans are the real monsters' trope nor genocide at the hooves of the ponies. It's an adventure fic not a dark one.

Option Two

Sci-fi Human in Equestria. After a war ruins Earth most of the remaining population flees into space. Three hundred years later a small exploratory ship makes an emergency landing on a strange planet as its electrical systems begin failing. Take a wild guess where in Equestria they show up. This one isn't the most original of premises but after all of the 'military spaceship finds Equestria' stories I wanted to do something with a small scientific contingent. One trained for the possibility of first contact and prepared to analyze foreign environments. And yes there will be a stronger plot than 'scientists screwing around'. Especially once the Princesses find out they are there...

Option Three

A beta-crossover of MLP and Firefly. Meaning that it would be MLP characters in a Firefly world, i.e. Rainbow Dash is the captain of Sunrise a Firefly class transport. This one would probably be the biggest project, probably cosisting of multiple stories much like the Dresden Fillies. This is actually the route I scripted out the least, but I like some of the idea's I've come up. The first 'episode' would follow the show for the most part, but beyond that it would involve different plots, I'd introduce some different villains and different heists. I'll probably follow some of the same plot lines (especially some stuff from Serenity) and steal some jokes, but really I'd like to explore the characters of the mane six after growing up in that 'verse.

Wow, long post. Anyway just tell me what you all think. As always I make no promises, but I do value your input.

So, what would you like to see?

Well, ten points to Gryffindor because I actually managed to keep my promise. Not bad. I also typed up a scene, which, though I loved writing, didn't have any place in the actual story. Not to mention that it's humor of a raunchy variety and I didn't want to put too much of that in there. So I figured I'd go ahead, stick it in a blog post and here we are.

Caution: The following scene, is non-canonical, non-coherent, and non-sensical. You have been warned.

“Oh my goodness! It’s so big.”

Twilight paused just before knocking on the door to her guest room. That had been Rarity’s voice, muffing slightly thanks to the thick door between them, but Twilight had no trouble identifying it as her friend’s. A friend who had shown open interest in Blackstone and was now alone with him in his room.

Twilight shook her head. She’d already jumped to the wrong conclusion after that scene with Pinkie. Rarity was probably talking about his coat or some other object. It was ridiculous to assume that whatever was happening in there was improper.

Blackstone chuckled. “Yeah the size is impressive, but how you use it is what’s important. Want a demonstration?”

Obviously talking about an object, maybe a new staff or some other magical item. Absolutely nothing wrong with this. Twilight told herself. If her mind weren’t so adamant about remaining in the gutter she wouldn’t have imagined a faint rumble of arousal in Blackstone’s voice.

“Oh, yes!” Rarity replied in a voice more sultry than Twilight had ever heard from her. Creaking bed springs soon followed the reply, and the purple unicorn was finding it harder and harder to justify what she was hearing.

“Oh sweet mother of Celestia that feels amazing!” Rarity cried less than a minute into … their activity. Twilight reached for her last excuse, the only possible thing that might explain this other than the obvious conclusion.

Maybe he’s giving her a massage?

Blackstone gave a wordless grunt, the same sound any health virile stallion would give when he was …

Giving a really deep tissue massage?

“Oh, Blackstone!” Rarity screamed. “This is the best sex I’ve ever had!”

Twilight’s jaw dropped open, and a crimson flush spread across her face. For a moment she considered running away from that terrible door and never mentioning this to anypony, but then the anger came. This time there was no denying what had happened. This time Pinkie was not going to save him from the fate he so richly deserved.

A burst of magic tore itself from her horn and the door slammed open, leaving a huge dent and a spider web of cracks in the wall behind it. Twilight levitated into the room her eyes on fire, ready to deliver her righteous judgment and wrath upon the lecherous stallion.

Only to find the room, and bed, empty. The sole occupant of the room and the one apparently responsible for the sounds she’d been hearing grinned at her from the dresser.

“So,” Bob leered, “how’d you like the show?”

His screams echoed throughout the library for the next hour, and it would be an understatement to call them ‘soul-chilling’.

Apparently hell is enjoying the frosty weather and pigs are preparing for lift off because the fifth chapter of Dresden Fillies: False Masks is finally out. I regret how long it took, but to be fair I had some pretty good reasons irl that kept it from happening sooner. Those and working on my other two stories. But those tales are done now, my actual life has calmed down to what passes for normal in my neck of the woods. Anyway, thank y'all for reading and here's hoping you come back for many more. Cheers.