2512618
I actually like comments, so. You can always edit them, you know.

2512079
Eh, no special reason. It's just I post them too soon, and later I disagree with my message/wording. Not always, anyway.

Why do you delete your comments, actually?

2511836
Ah. There was actually a chapter beforehand, but some people said it wasn't good so I just removed it and put the necessary in the second chapter.

2511833
I'm not educated on the art of writing, I'm mostly operating on hunches, so I'm not really qualified to answer that question. That was just raw personal impressions, not critique. I usually delete my comments later, but this time I didn't have time.
Well, I can't say anything about narration, but I can say one thing: if we make a video game analogy, after he was transported, it felt like a cutscene in first two chapters. Not "interactive" enough, like real gameplay is not yet started, if that make sense? I don't think I make sense. I'll shut up now.