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User ID: 26,765
Registered: 16th Apr 2012
Last Seen: 11w, 18h ago
Story views: 0

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Hey you! Yeah, you! Go away from this page! There's plenty of interesting authors that you can probably look at. I'm just a reader! Do you see any released stories? How did you even get here? I make it a point to not be very traceable. I've probably given less then twenty comments, so how did you find me? Jeez, you're really going to read this thing? Well stop it! Go read an interesting story, and stop reading my rambling!

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I'll count to three, and if you're not gone by the time I finish, I... I'll... well... I'll do something, okay?!

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1

2

3

Are you gone?

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What will it take for you to leave?

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I suppose I could try to persuade you to leave using logic, but that hasn't worked for over 9/10ths of the internet, and I don't suppose it would work now. I also suppose

I could try to bribe you, but I don't even know who you are.

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Who are you, internet person? You read this far, so you are slightly dedicated to this shockingly boring writing. I just can't believe that you haven't left yet! I have been typing for over ten minutes, and I'm even starting to get bored of this. Well fine. I hope you're happy, because you finally outlasted me. I'm tired of typing, and you're still reading this. Do you feel proud of yourself now? You just made me type all that out in the hopes that no one will ever read the whole thing, and you just did. Congratulations, you just shattered my hopes and dreams of  obscurity and being hidden. Well fine. I quit! You win, I will stop writing now. I will just stop writing, leave the keyboard, and end this long winded page of words.

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Must... leave... keyboard...

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I can't do it! My hands are just glued to the keyboard! Figuratively, of course. If it was literally I don't think I could be pressing all the keys like I have been. Actually, I don't think I've used z and x yet, so I haven't pressed all the keys. I'll have to incorporate them at some pointzx. What other letters have I not used? I think I haven't used q, but I don't know if that would be too quirky to use all the letters like this.

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Where was I?

Oh yes, I was talking about my fingers being glued to the keys. I probably think that would be bad for the computer, depending on the type of glue. Superglue would probably stick my fingers to the keys by so much that I would accidentally rip off a couple keys. Stick glue would just be messy, and it would get in all the cracks and jam them. The liquid glue would probably get between the keys and maybe short circuit them, which would be really bad.

Can keys even be short circuited? I don't know if they can, maybe someone should experiment with that another day.

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That reminds me, I have to make sure to check my calender for upcoming doctor visits. The last time I visited the doctor was-

Not that Doctor!

Anyway, the last time I visited the doctor was a while ago, so I will probably get a check-up sometime soon. I hope no needles are involved with it. Needles are very sharp and kind of scare me. I mean, really! Who thought of the idea of delivering medicine into the body through the use of sharp things? Should we just stick a knife in our arm to cure our colds? And don't even get me started on the waiting room! Who's idea was it to not include at least decent music while we are waiting? I get so tired of waiting in there that sometimes I just want to leave, but I can't! I have to wait for that one moment where they bring you in. It almost takes as long as the actual appointment in the waiting room! There are magazines in there, but I don't even like half the stuff in them! I enjoy reading, especially a good book by a fire, with warm hot cocoa, and marshmallows, with good food and company, while the weather outside is nasty, and the roads are icy, but...

but...

What was I talking about again?

The winter?

Oh yes, the winter is very enjoyable. I enjoy making snow forts in the winter, and having epic fights of snow to celebrate it. I usually get snow in all of my clothes, however many layers I wear, but that makes it all the more enjoyable to get inside and get into something warm...

That reminds me of summer, when the hot air is beating down on me... when I always wish that it was winter during that time, mostly because I am more fond of cold than heat. Seriously, who does enjoy heat over cold? The best time for me is actually in October, when it is cool enough that I feel comfortable, but it is warm enough that I am not freezing.

Ahh, the wonderful days of October...

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Whoa, sorry, I zoned out a bit there.

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Oh wow, look at the time. Time has just been flying by, hasn't it? I think I will stop this madness here, so this is goodbye...

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For those of you still reading, you are now the best person in the world to me. You have all my heartfelt affection and thanks, and you have my heart.

Literally.