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TundraStanza 1340100

Joined April 2012
31 followers

    TundraStanza's Stories (13)

    May
    18th
    2013

    Alternate Spectrum Aftermath: The Conversion Bureau’s End

    ---

    After learning about the horrifying other reality where ponies were forcibly transforming humans, Celestia decided that enough was enough.  She gathered the allied forces of the neighboring kingdoms in her realm.  Then without hesitation, she freed Discord and asked him to send them all to this other world to put an end to its hegemony.  Surprisingly (or unsurprisingly), he accepted her request.  With a resounding snap, every pony, buffalo, gryphon, dragon, changeling, zebra, and any other sentient life form that was willing and able were taken away in a white light.  Donning the golden armor of a form that she addressed herself as Daymare Sol, Celestia led her forces against the tyrannical empire that the other sun alicorn had created.

    We will rise up, we will fight, and we will BRING. YOU. DOWN!

    ---

    After a rather gruesome war in which nobody hoped to replicate ever again…

    Celestia was on her side.  She wasn’t bleeding.  That was ridiculous.  The ruler of all ponykind didn’t bleed.  That red stuff running down her side was iron-rich rain water.  That had to be what it was.

    She also hadn’t just lost to a very convincing double of herself in nightmarish armor.  Though, she did cough.  She would admit that.  Even powerful rulers like her caught colds sometimes.  This was nothing.

    “I brought… this world… Harmony,” she breathed shallowly, “I gave… humanity… a chance… to save itself.”

    She looked again at her horn.  It most certainly wasn’t broken.  That was just a trick of the dark overcast skies.  It gave her so much of a headache that concentrating her healing magic wasn’t helping.

    “Is that so wrong?” she asked.

    “Even in defeat, you still don’t get it.”

    Hoof steps approached.  She glanced over at the source of the voice.  Anger burned her eyes at what she saw.

    “I was saving lives,” she started.

    “You were murdering souls,” interrupted the intruder.

    “I gave them a chance to experience Harmony,” she continued.  A hoof stomp right on the ground in front of her face interrupted her.

    “If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times,” stated the alicorn in gold armor, “Do not throw that word around so lightly.”

    Celestia coughed again.  She really needed to get rid of that cold.  More iron-rich rain water appeared on the ground in front of her mouth.

    “What you’ve done has nothing in common with Harmony,” ridiculed the other alicorn, “What you’ve done is forcibly taken away the lives of another sentient race.  You focused solely on their worst qualities without giving them a chance to let their best qualities shine.”

    “The barrier…” she whispered.

    “Yeah, I was meaning to ask you about that before you started blasting spells,” the other one interrupted, “Did you honestly care about the humans’ safety?  I mean did you really care?  If you did, you should have focused your magical resources on stopping that barrier’s expansion.  What on the entire planet of Equus made you think that it was easier to waste such a significant portion of time on creating a magic potion that rewrites the genetic code?  Why couldn’t you have focused that time first and foremost on that extraordinary barrier?”

    “I… that’s not…” Celestia stammered.

    “Not what?” spat the other, “Constructive to the number of your potential subjects?  No, I suppose it isn’t.  But that shouldn’t matter!  Your job as a Princess should be to maintain the peace.  But no, instead you decided to create tension and heartaches among another species that you just couldn’t fit into your ‘perfect little world’.”

    “I offered simultaneous family ponyfication,” she responded.

    “I don’t know who you are,” said the other slightly softer than before, “But the name ‘Celestia’ hardly suits one as horribly corrupt and Tartarus-driven as you.”

    Celestia laughed up some more iron-rich water, “What?  You think it suits you?  You let your anger drive you to come to a world that hates your face.  You surrendered yourself to the Nightmare.  You called on the help of a draconequus.  If I’m so horribly corrupt, what does that make you?”

    The other one closed her eyes and sighed, “I’m not perfect.  I never claimed I was.  In fact, I welcome the times where my council members find fault with my ideas and openly counter them.  The point, however, is that I’m willing to try to hold the peace with all of my neighbors.  Not just my subjects of ponykind, but every single man, woman, and child that considers me an ally, friend, acquaintance, or stranger.  I’ll even try to maintain peace with my enemies if I can help it.”

    “Great job there,” commented Celestia while rolling her eyes.

    “You, I find to be a rather incorrigible thing,” the other said with a dark glare, “I’ve even heard of the extreme measures you take when dealing with the new converts that happen to be alicorns.”

    “They threatened my power,” Celestia said bluntly.

    “They were children,” corrected the other, “They were scared and confused and you hunted them like an overgrown timberwolf.”

    “One day, you’ll understand,” scoffed the resting alicorn.

    “No,” retorted the other, “I don’t think I will.  If achieving a state of understanding requires me to become the kind of monster that you are, then I’d rather not understand.”

    Golden armor clanked with the ground as the other alicorn started walking away.

    “What? Aren’t you going to finish the job you started?” called Celestia.  This seemed to stop the other one briefly.

    “I’m no murderer,” answered Daymare Sol, “I don’t intend to become one today.”

    “You’ve come all this way and yet you still cower before me,” chuckled the clearly-not-bleeding one.

    A set of blue horseshoes attached to a set of black hooves stomped in.  They led up to a pony whose horn was crackling like lightning.

    “I’m afraid I can’t speak for my sister,” called out the pony in golden armor, “She never listens to what I tell her to do.”

    The last sound Celestia never heard was a single flap of wings.

    ---

    Daymare Sol appeared in a quick burst of light as she flew over a base camp.  She landed with what sounded like heavy feet.  This earned a gasp from one of the changeling recruits.

    “General Sol!” he acknowledged.

    The addressed alicorn lifted a hoof and removed her helmet.  She gave her head a slow shake as her multi-colored mane flapped in the wind.

    “How goes the progress?” she asked curtly.

    “Squad C-9 has been chipping away.  They’ve already made some large dents along the uppermost surface of the barrier,” he reported, “Their force alone could possibly weaken it within the course of approximately thirty minutes.”

    Celestia the General Sol nodded in understanding, “Good.  It’s almost time then.  Radio Squads U-1 and U-2.  Tell them to get in position.”

    “Understood,” he responded.  As he turned to follow his orders, he stopped as she called him again.

    “Forty-Two!”

    He turned around before replying, “Yes?”

    “Thank you,” she said with a smile.

    The taste of gratitude almost made private Forty-Two cry.  Instead of crying, however, he lifted his right hoof in a salute.

    “Sir!” he called before turning around and continuing on his way.

    ---

    The captain of Squad U-1 stood ready with his formation of unicorns.

    “Aim!” he called.

    ---

    Meanwhile the captain of Squad U-2 was also calling the shots of her group.

    “Charge!” she hollered.

    ---

    The headsets on various units echoed their respective captain’s last orders.

    “FIRE!”

    ---

    As Shining Armor and Twilight Sparkle’s voices echoed, the hundreds of unicorns poured out their continuous streams of magic.  Additionally, all six of the other world’s Elements of Harmony sent forth their magic.  Never before had this particular planet Earth seen so many working together at such an inconceivable action.

    The previously expanding barrier began to shatter and collapse.

    ---

    Mercurio looked at the resulting vapors getting carried away by the wind.

    “Beautiful,” he smirked.

    “It is, isn’t it?” agreed the still mostly armored Celestia.

    Immediately, the man’s smile left his face as he turned to look at her with distrust.

    “Don’t think this changes anything between you and me,” he warned, “I’ll never forgive you.”

    “I’m not asking you to,” she pointed out gently.

    “I’m still convinced that you’re going to become her one day,” he stated, “And when you do, I’ll personally cut your ****ing head off.”

    “You’ll have to get in line,” she said with a small smile, “If I myself ever become so corrupt, there are plenty of sentient beings in my world that would be more than happy to kill me.”

    Mercurio just stared blankly for a while.  Then out of nowhere, he started chuckling.  It soon erupted into a whole-hearted laugh.  Celestia couldn’t control her own fit of giggles.  They laughed for at least a minute.

    “Well,” she finally interjected, “It’s time for us to go home.”

    “Bye, b***h!” he hollered.

    “Sayonara, sociopath!” she shouted as she flew away.

    ---

    “It is time for us to depart, Discord,” declared Luna dressed with all of her armor except her helmet.

    “Aw, already?” Discord sounded hurt, “I feel like we just got here.  Why don’t we take in the sights?  Hang around for a bit?  Ride a daiquiri while drinking a cruise ship?”

    Luna’s response was a silent, deadpan stare.

    “Oh, fine,” he relented before hinting, “But can I at least…?”

    “Very well,” she sighed.

    “Ha ha, yes!” he exclaimed before snapping his fingers.  He then started snapping in a bit more rapid succession, like some kind of fast-paced rhythm.  Each snap sent one of the creatures of Equus back to their home world.

    ~Disco-o-o-o-o-o-ord!~

    The white lights flashed and took completely random ponies, buffalo, dragons, zebras, gryphons, and all the other sentient creatures of Equus.

    ~Discord

    Are we your pray alone?

    Or are we just a stepping stone for taking back the throne?

    Discord

    We won’t take it anymore

    So take your tyranny away

    Disco-o-o-o-o-o-ord!~

    After the last of the other world’s creatures was sent back, he too flashed away.  But first, his laugh echoed across Earth’s northern hemisphere.

    ---

    Blogger's note: Yeah, I don't know what's wrong with me either.

    TundraStanza · 3 views
    May
    9th
    2013

    Time for a follow-up parody to my last parody.

    Cue Maestro!

    ~(Verse 1)

    I’m not a fan of shadow clones

    But I can hear the moans

    Of a stallion turned to a drone

    I see into the room unseen

    And I see flash of green

    That just screams to me, “Unclean!”

    (Bridge)

    I think you’re evil

    You’re hurting my brother

    What’s your excuse?

    Some kind of hive mother?

    (Chorus)

    Chryssy

    You left me to wither

    And stole the form and love life

    Of the greatest foal-sitter

    Chryssy

    Have you thought this through?

    What were you going to do?

    Chryssy

    Destruction is thy name

    When you shapeshift into others

    It just isn’t the same

    Chryssy

    Invasion just won’t do

    Expecto patronum to you!

    Chryssy (repeat)

    (Verse 2)

    The others might not believe me

    But that won’t matter, see?

    I suspected that you were mean.

    Prepare to face my gatling stun

    Pinkie Pie has her fun

    Until all the changelings are done.

    (Bridge 2)

    I can’t sit idly

    No, I won’t let this fly

    You may be strong

    But I can at least try

    (Chorus)

    Chryssy

    You left me to wither

    And stole the form and love life

    Of the greatest foal-sitter

    Chryssy

    Have you thought this through?

    What were you going to do?

    Chryssy

    Destruction is thy name

    When you shapeshift into others

    It just isn’t the same

    Chryssy

    Invasion just won’t do

    Expecto patronum to you!

    Chryssy (repeat)

    TundraStanza · 14 views · Edited 1w, 3d ago
    May
    5th
    2013

    Temporary Fix · 1:58am

    I found a wired connection in my temporary location.  To celebrate, I’ll show you the lyrics to a nonexistent parody song (though I wish someone would get on it).

    Instrumental to set the mood.

    ~(Verse 1)

    I know that I’m a midnight owl

    But I must point out how

    You’re a shadow whose acts are foul

    The stars may have freed you tonight

    And you show off your might

    To bring about eternal night

    (Bridge)

    Why do you hate us?

    Why do you talk us down?

    Your darkness is

    A threat unto the crown

    (Chorus)

    Nightmare

    Moon is the name you took.

    You stole your life from Luna

    And you’re acting like a crook.

    Nightmare!

    Why so maleficent?

    Is this really the life you want?

    Nightmare!

    You’re prophesied to fail

    The Elements of Harmony are six friends that prevail.

    Nightmare!

    Don’t you know that Twilight

    Just leads to a brighter dawn?

    Nightmare (repeat)

    (Verse 2)

    Honesty, Kindness, Laughter, and

    Generosity and Loyalty pave the known way

    To the Magic that rests inside

    And brings the friends all right here

    To shine the shadows away

    (Bridge)

    Why do you hate us?

    Why do you talk us down?

    Your darkness is

    A threat unto the crown

    (Chorus)

    Nightmare

    Moon is the name you took.

    You stole your life from Luna

    And you’re acting like a crook.

    Nightmare!

    Why so maleficent?

    Is this really the life you want?

    Nightmare!

    You’re prophesied to fail

    The Elements of Harmony are six friends that prevail.

    Nightmare!

    Don’t you know that Twilight

    Just leads to a brighter dawn?

    Nightmare (repeat)~

    TundraStanza · 14 views
    May
    3rd
    2013

    Over the course of the weekend, I will be in a location where my internet connection is... practically nonexistent.

    Just letting you know why I'll be offline during that time.

    Good day, all!

    TundraStanza · 4 views
    Apr
    26th
    2013

    While it's probably not what you wanted to hear from me, I'm looking at the deadline I set up for myself and I'm starting to think that it will be difficult if not impossible to upload anything decent by April 30th.  With accounting studying and a research paper in philosophy that are coming up, my mind is going to be drained.

    So at this moment, I'll at least give you a word count of what I've got done on various chapters of stories that I'm working on (currently and hiatus).

    Nothing Probably Goes on Forever Too

    Chapter 29;  Current word count: 6000+

    Fill 'Er Up! Straight!

    Chapter 4; Current word count: 600+

    Executable Mesmer: Return of the Solaris Knights

    Chapter 2; Current word count: 600+

    There is an I in Generosity

    Chapter 7; Current word count: Verification pending

    :(

    A Story Idea I Have In Progress That I Have Yet To Publish

    Chapter 1; Current word count: 2500+

    TundraStanza · 14 views · Edited 3w, 2d ago
    Apr
    13th
    2013

    Because there are some things I hear them say far more often than "I used to be an adventurer".

    #10: "So, you can cast a few spells.  Am I supposed to be impressed?"

    #9: "What is it, Argonian?"

    #8: "You're that one from the College.  Heard about you."

    #7: "I mostly deal with petty thievery and bar fights.  Been a long time since we had a good bandit raid."

    #6: "Hail, Companion."

    #5, "I find your wolfish grin unsettling."

    #4, "Favor the bow, eh?  I'm more of a swordsman myself."

    #3, "My cousin is out fighting dragons and what do I get?  Guard duty."

    #2, "No lollygagging."

    #1, "Hands to yourself, sneak thief."

    Alternate blog title: You know you've been playing too much Skyrim when you remember these phrases.

    TundraStanza · 16 views
    Apr
    10th
    2013

    Face, Meet Desk · 4:34am

    You know in retrospect, I don't know why I thought a philosophy class about critical thinking wouldn't have that much writing to do.

    :facehoof:

    Hopefully, I'll be able to focus more on story writing in a couple of months.  For now though, expect my delays to be a little bit lot later than I first thought.  Sorry.

    :fluttershyouch:

    TundraStanza · 11 views
    Apr
    3rd
    2013

    *Deep Breath*

    Okay, I think it’s safe to get on again...safe being a debatable term.

    To make up for days of silence, here’s a few items that are sort of planned for the near future.

    Nothing Probably Goes on Forever Too

    I fully intend on posting the next chapter by April 30th.  It may be my most disliked fic, but I made a promise to myself that I would finish it.  I don’t make promises unless I know I can keep them.

    Extraterrestrial #51

    I can’t advance the storyline too fast without making it non-canonical to the universe of the group that this fic is based in.  However, expect an update within the next two weeks.

    Fill ‘er Up! Straight!

    If I haven’t uploaded a new chapter by April 30th, I will at least post a blog regarding my progress on that chapter.

    That’s all for now.

    Thank you for your patience.

    TundraStanza · 13 views
    Apr
    2nd
    2013

    Nebula: Well, Tundra said he wasn't going to say anything until April 3rd.  What should we do until then?

    Fifty-one: Perhaps we could engage in some small talk.

    Miles Taru: Great! I'll get the drinks.

    Shirayuki: No, you don't! *chases after him* You'll just empty them all down your throat!

    Fifty-one: I have to wonder something, Nebula.

    Nebula: What's that?

    Fifty-one: How did you escape the Reaper's Death Seal?

    Nebula: Oh, I didn't escape.  I've still got John Doe trapped in here with me.  I just used Bakudo 77 Tenteikura to send a projection of my voice to this channel.

    Fifty-one: Huh... interesting.

    Miles Taru: *in a drunken state* Remain calm, fair ponies! I shall stop the nefarious Berryshine and all her horny evilness! *stumbles off*

    Shirayuki: -_- You go right ahead and do that.  Meanwhile, my other half and I have a real threat to deal with. *trots away*

    Fifty-one: So, um... how's the wife and kids?

    Nebula: Heh heh. You're getting better at your sense of humor, Fifty-one.

    Fifty-one: I wasn't joking.

    Nebula: 0_o

    TundraStanza · 12 views
    Apr
    1st
    2013

    ... · 5:36am

    ...

    TundraStanza · 23 views