(I was going to give you my eighth reason, but I think "Apple Family Reunion" speaks for itself.)
The following is a non-profit, fan-based parody made solely for entertainment purposes. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is owned by Lauren Faust, Hasbro, Studio B, dhx Media, and the Hub. Please support the official release.
Twilight Sparkle: Ready for my favorite song, Spike?
Twilight: One, two, three, four.
~One dozen books in the stack I must read.
One dozen books in the stack
Pull one over
Read from cover to cover...~
*Twilight starts reading the pages intently.*
Spike: I forgot that she takes forever between the last two lines of each verse. Oh well, might as well get some things on my list done. *pulls out a long list* Let's see, play patty-cake with my stomach.
*cut to Spike patting his stomach*
Next, go borrow the town balloon.
*scene transitions to Spike running into the pole and the rope coming loose*
Spike: Oh, no you don't! *makes a daring leap and grabs the rope* Gotcha!
*balloon floats over and into the forest*
*CGI timberwolves step into view*
Spike: Augh! I'm so frightened that my special fire-breathing lung just collapsed on itself.
*a rock hits one wolf and the scene cuts to all of them in pieces*
Applejack: Applejack used Rock Throw. It's super effective.
*Give Applejack a nickname? >Yes No
*"AJ" was added to your team*
~We’re in a balloon
Flying over clouds
HD lens flare~
~(Rainbow Dash flies by)
Spike and I jump
The train goes to the right
(CMC in back)
Pan to the left and I see all you girls~
Rainbow: ~Fly to the right~
Pinkie: ~Pop balloon~
Rarity: ~Don’t I look pretty~
Applejack: ~I kick a tree~
Fluttershy: ~Give Angel food and he devours it~
Twilight: ~I teleport to the center of the group~
~(Spike sends a letter)
Celestia already has this picture~
Spike: AJ, let me help.
Applejack: Gosh darn it, Spike. You know my family pride doesn't allow anyone else to help.
Spike: But you don't understand. I want to help you.
*saxophone solo from Careless Whisper plays while a flashback clip of Spike almost kissing Applejack from Pony and Dog Show briefly shows on screen*
*clip and music abruptly end*
Applejack: Well, I guess if you really want to. Why don't you go see if Apple Bloom needs help cleaning Piggington.
*scene transitions to a sparkling clean pig*
Apple Bloom: Help me, big sister. He's creeping me out.
Applejack: Um, uh... Hey! Don't you have some crusading to do?
Apple Bloom: Crusading! That's it! *gallops away* Come on, water skiing cutie mark!
Applejack: You can go home too, Spike.
Spike: No, I really can't.
Applejack: Why not?
Spike: Twilight still isn't done with her song.
*transition to Twilight reading*
Twilight: ~Eleven books in the stack
Pull one over
Read cover to cover...~
*transition back to Applejack*
Applejack: Still? Well okay then. How about you help Granny make some pies?
Spike: Then bring it to Rarity?
Applejack: Um... sure? Why not?
*transition over to the inside of Rarity's house*
*burnt pie sits on the table*
Rarity: Please tell me this isn't one of Pinkie Pie's baked bads.
Applejack: It isn't Pinkie Pie's baked bads.
Rarity: Oh, good. *forks in a nibble*
Applejack: It's Spike's baked bads.
Rarity: *spits out the bite offscreen and levitates a napkin to wipe her mouth*
Spike: I think she likes it!
Rainbow Dash: Hey, guys! What's up?
Rarity: Oh, nothing. Applejack just got the Spike servant episode *added under her breath* that I was supposed to get this season.
Rainbow: That's cool. I'm working on writing a novel about the greatest Captain of the Wonderbolts.
Rarity: You're writing about Spitfire.
Rainbow: Tell no one!
*screen stops shaking*
Hey, where'd Spike go?
*Spike is surrounded by bubbles*
Spike: I accidentally spilled all the shampoo in the kitchen.
Rarity: I don't have any shampoo in the kitchen.
Spike: You do now! *grabs a broom*
Applejack: I... have no idea how to comment on that.
Rainbow: Hey, Spike! AJ wants you to build me a rock tower.
Spike: *zips in* If AJ wants it, then I'll get it for her.
Applejack: We've done that saxophone joke already. Next scene!
*Fine. Be that way. Scene transition.*
Fluttershy: Goodness, did he really build that whole thing?
Spike: Is this enough?
Applejack: Sure is, Spike. You can come on down now.
Rainbow: *gulp* Here goes something.
~Here I am... rock you like a Rainbowcane!~
Spike: Another round? Or are you a one-hit wonder?
Rainbow: *dizzy eyes and stars*
Applejack: I've got to get out of this somehow.
Applejack: Twilight? Twilight!
Twilight: ~Ten books in the stack I must read
Ten books in the stack
Pull one over
Read cover to cover...~
Applejack: *reaches over and taps an inkwell*
Twilight: *Awooga! Awooga! RED ALERT! NEATNESS HAS BEEN DISTURBED!*
Applejack: You're not going to pull a restraining order on me again, are you?
Twilight: *sigh* I'll let it slide this time. Anyway, what do you need?
Applejack: Spike won't leave me alone. You and the others have to help me find a way to get out of his episode.
Twilight: What do you expect me to do?
Applejack: And that's the plan. Any questions?
Rarity: Just one. Are you-?
Pinkie Pie: Loco in the cocoa?
Rarity: *Ahem* Quite right, darling.
Applejack: Ow! *rock trapped her hoof* Get out of here, Spike! Run!
*suspiciously familiar music*
*~Go go, Mega Timber!~
~Go go, Mega Timber!~
Spike: Grenade! *tosses a small round object into the giant timberwolf's mouth* *manages to free AJ and they both run*
Mega Timber: Ruh-roh.
*explosion from within blows him to smithereens*
Applejack: *breathing heavily* All in favor of never doing that again?
Spike: I learned my lesson.
Applejack: What's that, Spike?
Spike: I should never star in another episode again.
*Pinkie's hoof shoves an episode schedule in his face showing "Just For Sidekicks"*
Spike: Mother of Luna.
*black screen ending with the last instrumental section of Careless Whisper*A Hedgehog Dragonoid Production
A/N: The tenth reason I'll never make an abridged series is because no matter how hard I try, I can never out-Discord John De Lancie.