Sorry. · 7:38am
Good evening, my chi-
Fuck this is harder than it looks...
Ok lets start all over..
Hi! Yah, I'll do that for now.
Well it's been awhile since I posted something on the blogs, so I might as well say something.
I'm not doing so hot right now.
Well, both writing and personal wise.
For this whole hiatus, I could never get myself to write even a few simple words, let alone go on chat and say Hi to a few friends. It's even hard to get my brain together to think of something for this stupid blog. I've had ideas of, when I get out of this hiatus, I'll have loads and loads of chapters for you guys, maybe some new stories, or just continuing the bastard child of which I call "Komodo".
I can't even get into the same mindset I usually do to start writing. I can't even get myself to read some of the fanfics I've come to know and love. I don't know if I'm just sick of everything right now or I'm just going through a long ass phase, but it's getting on my nerves.
Hell, I've been arguing with a mirror these past few days, staring into it and always asking what the fuck I'm doing! I'm not a writer! So why do I insist on writing something that probably won't even benefit me in the long haul?
"You could learn more about different writing skills. You meet new people, new friends! You can write down what you imagine onto writing for others to enjoy!"
No, that is partly bullshit. First off, learning different writing styles from people that barely are any older than me on writing, which is not even the major I'm going for, just so I can be a better writer for your entertainment? Sure, I'll play monkey some more! Maybe play to a tune while dancing in a red vest!
Second, meet new friends? HAH. Half the people I met barely care about anything but themselves. I even try and get help, but I'm just ignored. I try and be human, talking about my problems, but again, just ignored and the only reply is "Well that sucks. Now about my story of...." It's true that they're a few diamond in a coal mine, where I met some fantastic people, but their barely on anymore themselves. So now I'm alone and ignored. I wouldn't mind meeting some new people, but how fucking long will that last? Not long I bet....
Third, Write down what I imagine? HAHAHAHA
*has a mini stroke*
Right, hehe... well there's a problem with that. Da- fucking- rulez.
Sure you can write what you want, as long as it follows the multiple rules and guidlines that are fanfics.
True, I get that you have to write about ponies, it's in the f-ing mlp fanfic site of all god damn...
Right, well other than that, there are even more rules set by the damn auidence.
Follow the way we want it or else!! Downvotes!
Downvoting me so I won't be able to...what? Get into feature? Other people to read my stories? Yah great fucking job. You did a good job and deserve the fucking internet...
I don't know what I'm really trying to say here...
Maybe it's just something I need to vent since I'm so fucking lonely or something.
I'm not thinking straight and my mind is warped a little.
then again, it has been warped for a long fucking time now.
And not in the funny way where people can laugh at you or laugh with you. More in the "Get a fucking hold of yourself." I don't know if it's me or Jason talking now, but I just had to vent a little. I have no idea if this offended a few of you, but for fucks sakes, it's the internet and get a hold of yourselves.
Then again, what am I saying. I keep losing to the fucking mirror everytime I argue with it. Stupid Jason and his logics.
*Facepalms* What am I doing with my life...
I guess what I'm saying in the short run that isn't any surprise or big deal to anyone is...
I'm done with the chessverse.
I'm canceling the story-line and out of the group.
I have no idea if this will affect anything if I go into the chat, but I hope not.
Well, that's all I have to really say. Maybe I'll see you guys later or something. Hell maybe bronycon or some shit like that. But yah, that's it for me.
Plus if you were here this whole time reading me rant/ make an ass of myself/ be a drama queen.
I'll...I don't know, catch you guys on the flip side if anything.
Right then....back to the mirror.