I updated Fear a few days ago, and I let it sit for a little bit so the people who read it would have chance to do so. Now, I usually do a blog post accompanying chapter updates for Fear, but I didn't do it straight away this time. And the reason for this is, believe it or not, the same reason I update so slowly on the main story. Here it is:
Fear is bloody exhausting.
Now before you're all 'boo hoo cry me a river', I'd like to point out that I enjoy writing Fear, for the most part. In terms of reading, yeah, it's just a silly little shipfic where colourful ponies get in kerfuffles. For me, in terms of writing it? It's an exploration. It's a story that's constantly seeking to define itself. Part of me honestly believes that it's a legitimate trollfic, because it has all the fixtures, fittings and plot of a shipfic but has contained approximately 1% shipping and 99% let's crack jokes all over the narration and generally frustrate the commenters. Another part of me is trying to figure out to just what extremes I can take it -- I mean, I've already done time travel which is pretty much the biggest plot BS I can think of, and there was no general outcry of 'you, sir, are a cad and a cop-out'. I actually, for all intents and purposes, got away with it. Where do I even go from there? What possible levels of shenanigans could exceed it? The question is strange and exciting to me. I also love the audience interaction. One of the most common things said about Fear (apart from 'what the hell is going on') is that it manages to be unpredictable, and I really like that it achieves that.
However, there is no denying that, in comparison to my other stories, Fear is very effort intensive to write. To put things in perspective: I try and get a chapter of Fear out roughly once every month. That's not very impressive, but here's the thing: it legitimately takes that month, a month of solidly focusing on the task at hand, to get that chapter out. And even then, I'm not always happy with it. This morning, I started a new chapter of Limits (chapter four, for those of you not keeping up) and comfortably did 1500 words, no problem, all of which I'm perfectly satisfied with. Given chapter lengths, that's a turnaround of about two days of work compared to Fear's thirty. Music was largely the same. I don't know why that is -- maybe I just take longer to write comedy. Maybe the jokes just need a few days or weeks to form in my head before I put them down on digital paper. But for that month, I work, and at the end of that month, I tend to be pretty sick and tired of working on it because it never comes easy, so I take a break for a week or two, and then I fall behind. That's how the cycle goes.
So, yeah. That's the reason Fear takes a while. Up until now my excuse has basically been "I'm lazy, lol", but eh. Don't get me wrong, my sloth truly knows no bounds, but there is a legitimate reason. Also, this blog post signifies that I am still alive, so that's good too. I've already written a tiny, tiny bit of the next chapter of Fear (since I don't have to worry about the stupid party arc or arranging the plot too hard) so yeah. Also, I notice that I've gotten a few fic recs recently; I won't say from whom, since I feel that's almost... against the rules, somehow? (It's weird. It's also the reason I don't add my stuff to groups -- it feels weird to shill my own work.) However, the people who did doubtlessly know who they are, and I'd like to thank them for that. I'm pleased that my stories are, on rare occasions, good enough to bear recommendation.