So. If you of my Skype group have noticed, I have been absent for a while with a few odd days of presence for a short while apiece.
The reason being that I'm starting to slip and there's some stuff happening. I just wanted to make sure you all know I hadn't up and died or something.
I've spent the last few days trying to live a little more freely and I let some things slip by. Nothing bad. I just haven't been present for some things that I really should have been there for.
Anyways. It maybe a while until I have the ability to talk to anyone for a while. Like, a really long while... So. I guess I'm here to say " Bye, and hopefully I'll see you all later." I have some stuff to say to my collab and my friends here. So I'll say that and maybe some other things. I dunno. I'm writing on whim with little thought into it. Just speaking through keyboard.
Anyways. Here I go.
Jonah. You have a good, great even, head on your shoulders. You're one of the earliest friends and followers I had on this site. You are a bright and brilliant lad, and you have a lot of potential. Do good. Keep your things on track. Aspire to be the best you can be.
Carlos, that goes double for you. You're a talented writer, a great friend, and a good source of happiness in my life. And even though I act like a dick to you sometimes, I still love you like you were my little brother. My friend. You always held a smile over the roughest moments. Promise me you'll try not to over due with the ponies always. Alright? Get some air once in a while with those ponies. Be a little more outgoing. Experiment with things. Life. Take care of Twi.
Tyler. Keep on trucking and holding out. Being the other tough guy who knows his shit and has a thing for the long arm of death. Drink up and kick ass.
Steph, good luck with things and go with your head and heart. Keep being an awesome son of a bitch, alright, chips?
Ben. Thanks for always being there to talk to me. It feels odd to be the one who's always turned to and now finding myself turning to others because I didn't have the answers. But I'm glad I did. I'm happy to have been such great friends with you and have been able to talk and philosophize with someone about things. Good luck in the world. That wall is high. But you'll make it.
Reuben, like I said to BP, I act like a dick but I still care. I love you man. You're a good man and I wish I was as smart or lucky as you to be so well off and capable. You're like a son in law. I may not be all buddy buddy, but I still think you're a helluva a good guy to know and be able to call family.
Hana, I'm sorry for all the shit I have said and done and for being so melodramatic all the time. I have a habit of being a little overkill with things and I'm sorry for all that. I love you. I love you so much...When the shit was hitting the fan, I had spent my nights worrying and my days on edge for news, only to be relieved that everything was fine. You kept saying it would be fine and I just...I hesitated. I wasn't sure if I could accept that. I just couldn't be sure. What I'm trying to say is, I think about you and worry and care so much. And if things ever happen like that again, I'll listen. I've been a shitty person, a shitty friend, a shitty father like figure. I know I could've done better, but I'll try again sometime. I'm proud of how far you've gone and well you've done with things. I'll miss you, Chaya.
I'll miss you all. Every one of you. You're some of my closest friends. I want you to know that. I love you all and you'll always be the greatest group of friends I've had.
So wherever I wind up after a while, back here, or elsewhere, I guess...I'll still be thinking about how you guys are such good friends.
Whatever happens, make it something worthwhile. Live, breath, feel. Know what it means to be alive and happy. And try to remember me as not some dick whose never had the greatest outlook, or some psycho fuck who had a thing for creepy shit, or some perv who liked to share his porn with you guys. Try to remember me as a friend. A human. Like anyone else.