... Though this may get a little rambly. Trying to sort out my thoughts for an update.
I know, more than anything else, that Steadfast is not, nor ever will be The Finest of All Fanfictions. It's a light story for a little bit of entertainment. Simple, cute, and most importantly, a good exercise. Steadfast has taught me so much about writing. About long-term plotting, about fixing drafts, about actually sitting down and getting work done. About doing your best, and not expecting everything to be THE MAGNUM OPUS, BEST FIC THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN.
But now I'm reaching a point where I have to sit down and really understand how to tie the loose threads of a huge story together. Write an ending to not just a 6,000 word short story, but a gigantic 200k venture that's been running for an entire year.
And I dont... quite... know how to do that.... Never have done it before, never gotten the practice for it. I mean, how can one practice that? Just thinking up a sweet ending isn't enough. This is something you actually have to write a huge fucking story for, and by that point, it's The Real Deal. Not just a little bit of training, but something you seriously need to invest time into and think real hard about.
It would be one thing if there was a big theme, or one giant knot to be untangled. You know, if this was a focused story with a strict plot that had a clear purpose. An Anti-Steadfast, if you will. There's an ultimate goal to Steadfast, certainly, but the point, purpose, and main thrust of the story hasn't really been 100% devoted to beating the badguy, has it been? The main thrust of the story has been "we're all cool friends, and isnt that just neato?" How does one go about concluding that? Go Old Yeller on their asses and shoot childhood in the head?
Yeah, there's that.
I have events. I know the things that are going to happen, and how each part leads to each other part. But I am having one hell of a time capturing the mood, the flow, and just the friggin spark of the thing. I've written almost 10k words since the Christmas special, and nothing about the next few chapters feels like its clicking. I even tried to go experimental with it, and it was still more or less completely awful.
This is something I've wanted to write, planned for, and was inspired to do a few months ago. Now? Not going anywhere fast. No matter how many times I try to understand, revise, and "fix" things.
So... yeah. This may take a while.