He lives! · 1:25am
Though, to be perfectly honest, it's a zombie-like state of living. I haven't been writing, only reading, and my oh my have I found some sub-par stuff.
That's not to say it's bad. I've just been cynical about it all. "Oh, that doesn't flow well. Oh, that could have been worded to make more sense. Wow, that's a lot of telling. Man, can't this guy figure out how to use a comma? Would it kill the guy to put some description in his story? This is all dialogue! Jeez, this dialogue is bland."
And you know what I've been doing with all this? Nothing! See, if I was being critical, I would leave comments on what they can do or how to improve, but I don't want to talk. I just want to stare at a screen, occasionally reading words, maybe thinking at some point about those words, and generally be somewhat entertained so I don't have to worry about my lack of funds that I'm going to need in two weeks to pay my student loan that I can no longer put off because it's been in 3 years of forbearance. Yay!
But hey, you don't want to hear me talk; you want stories! Well, I can't promise anything, because every time I think of something I realize it's a stupid idea, or just can't think of something... Here, let me show you!
A: Sweetie Belle and/or Spike fic: I don't see too many on here that I have enjoyed and that's a shame. I want to write something with one of them, or maybe both of them if I'm feeling extra insane, but I can't think of any good plot. All I know is I want a Sweetie-awesome story or a Spike-isn't-an-idiot story.
B: Pascal's Twiangle: I was thinking up this one for a bit and thought, "Oh man, what a pun!" Then I realized I couldn't possibly pull it off because Twilight would find out any number within the triangle using the formula and I don't see her as one to write it out as a mental exercise. I mean, she knows the square root of 546 of the top of her head! I don't think she'd have difficulty computing the triangle until she hit, oh I don't know, row 1552345?
C: Equestrian Knight: You remember that trilogy I wrote? I've been thinking of rewriting it. I really have. I mean, I've learned a lot about writing since then, and I think I can definitely fix up some of the issues. Lord knows the opening of Equestrian Life was a crawl! But at the same time, do I even have the drive to go through all that again? If I did, it would get over 100k words, because I'd be combining them and including some slice of life moments (you know, like a proper novel). If I did have the drive, could I really be sure I was improving it and not just readjusting it to some random standards I have created? If I was to do this, it would have to be a complete overhaul that, when done, will make me smile like I did when I first made it and go, "Yeah, that'll do pig. That'll do," and then break into a dance and song with how happy I am.
D: Count the Shadows: Man, I don't know what to do with this thing! I know, but it's crap. I mean, I WANT to at some later date do something with it, but I know that it's a stupid idea. There's about four ideas I have for it and every one of them just seems flat. I mean, what am I going to say about what was in the basement of Sugar Cube Corner? I can't do blood, because it doesn't fit with what I want to do later on. What could she have done down there that would scare the Cakes into calling for the orderlies? I just don't know.
See? Lost. It's a mix of writer's block and self-critic that's holding me back. But hey, I'll give you something I wrote up on a whim! Would that be okay? Cool, here:
The library was silent, save for the occasional shuffling of a page being turned, as lone man sat next to a window, using the sun to illuminate the literature in his hands. With the evening rays, the town had begun turning in, so he knew there would be no patrons arriving to disturb him or the books resting on the shelves.
He sighed when a particular passage wore at his patience in the author. Didn't he know how to let the words flow on a page? How did this even get published? the man thought. Shaking his head, he snapped the story closed and threw it on his ever-growing pile of discarded literature.
"Just once I'd like to find a story with some decent writing," he said to the empty room. Of the fifteen thousand, two hundred and thirty six books gracing the library, only twelve of the four thousand and three novels held any merit in his mind so far. To say he had memorized them would be an understatement.
Glancing out the window, his gaze followed men and women rushing home in the small town, as if their lives were so important they couldn't idle and enjoy life blooming before them. The tree's budding leaves had begun bringing green back into the world after a harsh winter and the clouds had decided not to block the oranges and reds of the setting sun on the atmosphere for once.
A melancholy sigh escaped him as he vented the window to let the dry air out. "Maybe I should follow my own advice and go out there myself." He wouldn't, of course. For the past few months he had said similar things, and never once did he act on them, too afraid to leave the building and get chatted up.
The occasional customer would attempt conversation when they checked out a book, but would only be answered with simple 'yes' and 'no's. It was not that he had nothing to say, but that he felt no one would listen to him in sincerity. So on he went, day after day, having conversations with himself, if only so he wouldn't forget how to speak.
"H-hello?" came a meek voice from the library's door. He hadn't heard the hinges creek."Are you still open?"
"Yeah, but not for much longer," he replied, getting up from his chair and shuffling around the bookshelf hiding him. "Are you lo--" He voice cut off when his eyes beheld the visitor.
Her rich auburn hair fluttered about beneath her shoulders as she turned to and fro, viewing the array of knowledge before her. The grey jacket she wore bore an emblem of the Librarian's Order on the left breast and the matching dress pants had a simple red stripe running along the vertical seams.
"Oh, sorry. I didn't know I'd be visited by a member of the Order today," the librarian said when he found his voice again, moving into the foyer. "What are you here for?"
The girl jumped at his voice and turned toward him. "S-sorry if I'm disturbing you," she began, pulling a letter out of her jacket. "T-the Order wanted me to give you this."
He glared at the envelope for a moment before ripping it from her grasp. What do those idiots want this time? he wondered. Upon ripping the edge and unfolding the letter within, he soon found his answer, buried beneath legal jargon and useless fluff.
"They want me to apprentice you? What gave them any idea I would accept this?"
"I-I don't know. They sent me here with the letter, saying I should pack up for an extended stay. P-please don't be mad," she replied, a small tremble running through short body.
"Why would I be mad? If anything, I'm irritated at the lack of communication. I have no accommodations or plans for an apprentice, and I certainly don't have the time." The last part was a lie. He had more time on his hands than any other citizen of the town.
"W-well, I... um..." her voice trailed off as she turned away, unsure of what to do. Once again, the library was silent. The visitor could only stare at the floor or shelves of books as a contemplating look took over the librarian. His thoughts bounced between accepting, denying, and outright refusing the request with a few choice words.
A heavy, almost defeated, sigh broke the quietude. "Fine, I'll figure something out." He turned and started for the stairs opposite the entrance. "There goes whatever reading time I had left," he muttered. "Come on."
Wasn't that nice? I'm thinking I could do something with that! Maybe I can ponify it and make the librarian Twilight, or maybe I can go back in time and make Twilight the apprentice so she can learn how to library? But I can't do that second one, because she isn't old enough and I was kinda going for a romance (it would also completely destroy canon).
So, in the end, I have no idea what I'm doing and I hope you haven't forgotten about me (not that I can blame you if you did). I just figured you'd like an update on what I've been doing. Heh... yeah, sure... let me keep thinking that you were curious about that.
Not that I'm being depressive, or that I'm insinuating you don't care! I just have no idea what I'm doing (how many times have I said that now?) and it's wearing on me a bit.