More issues · 4:49am
Well...I'm afraid things have gotten worse.
I said a while ago that I wasn't able to get help like I wanted to. For those of you who didn't see why in teh comments section, it more or less boiled down to the fact that I'm in a situation where I have to have someone agree to do this for me. And unfortunately, I realized after a few conversations that she was never going to allow me to have this help like I wanted.
I think that was part of the reason why I grew suicidal. I don't want to name names, but I think I was getting there because I was afraid someone else would take such control over my life that it would no longer be mine but what someone else wanted for me. And we see things much differently. This person keeps telling me that it's OK if I keep writing as long as I do this and this, but I can tell that this person is doing a lot to get me away from it.
That might be why I grew depressed over the years, because my life really wasn't mine for a while. I think it started around July of last year, and while it grew to not be so bad in recent months, it happened again. And...maybe that's why I chose to go all out with the script process like I have. I believe the script I wrote for the show is great enough to gamble it all on.
But man...if things don't get better...I mean, I'm optmistic about things, given that, again, I believe I wrote a script that can hang with the best of the writers, but yeah...