Well, let's face it. · 4:15am
Yeah. Let's face it. I've taken an overly long break from writing my fiction, and I've re-read the beginning. Well, I can say this story had some serious flaws from the start, and I payed the price by not doing actual research on the Marines, nor other good fictions.
Bad things you say?
-Romance is overly rushed in the beginning, but compensated for the lie it actually became later in the story. Ben's affection was overly rushed and is unforgivable in the name of fiction writing. This was probably the biggest flaw of the story.
-Horrible misconception of The Marine Core. Did you know that Ben's original weapon was supposed to be a G36C? And he was still in the American Marines? Yeah. I know.
-Ben receives his wings. This pretty much does turn him into a machine that can literally tear Equestria to pieces. And of course, this is a massive turn-off to real readers who read fictions for quality. But on the other hand, did you really think that Ben was gonna gun down Eclipse with his M4 Rifle? Yeah, me neither.
-About 24 years old and STILL likes Pokemon? Well, that must be a new academy record! (Insert image here)
-Everypony seems to warm up to him pretty damn quickly, although he's about 6 foot creature with fingers and the mind that replays over horrible thoughts.
-Claims South Side of Chicago is filled with crime. Hey, it's not as bad as Detroit. Then again...what isn't?
-"Tortured Past" and other cliched crud.
After reviewing all of these flaws...I really don't know if I should waste anymore time with this fiction. I just don't have the time, which has been preoccupied by school, Pokemon X (Xerneas FTW), Battlefield 4 (Coming Soon), and spending time with friends and a very special somepony. It's just too much, and I don';t have anymore motivation. But, I know that there are still people who overlook the flaws of this story and enjoy it, which really makes my day when my story is actually capable of cranking out a fairly positive comment. I thank you all for your support, and I had a lot of fun writing this fiction. It was my first, so of course it was gonna be all sorts of crap. XD So, if any of you see the big ol' "canceled" sign over "status", I'm really sorry for all of you, and I thank you all for your support. Maybe I could get back into at least finishing this fiction to get it over with, end it by bloging the ending in a nutshell, or just canceling the thing. Besides, I had a massive story brewing in my head involving my Science Fiction Universe that I developed over four years: T.E.C.X. (Technologically Enhanced Combat Xenos). It has a mixture of Halo, Mass Effect, Planetside, and many other fictions combined and revamped into one original universe. But...i just can't find a way to get it out of my head and into the format of a story, nor do I have the time.
For any other information about my future ideas, or for my Science Fiction Universe, message me, or comment below. As always, read on everypony.