Alright so, I have the worst luck of anyone I know. In the past when I have posted chapters fimfiction goes down immediately and nobody can read my shit. It seems that this sort of 'intentional fucking of Razorbeam' has now followed me to new corners of the internet.

As of 3:06 am server time, June 2nd, EVE took all of its web services down because of a DDoS attack. Yes, seriously. Why, for the love of Christ, this had to happen three hours after I invited you all to come join me, I don't know. Maybe there's some kind of cosmic force I don't know about that hates me... who can say?

Anyways, for now their systems appear to be back online. For anyone who was interested in the previous blog, but got screwed because of this, the link once again works and you may log into the servers at long fucking last.

Fuck those jerk-ass hackers,

        Razorbeam.

Spaceships. Some of you will know exactly what this picture is about, others not so much. This is a video-game blog, so if that doesn't interest you then you have been warned in advance. If you don't want to hear my speech in its entirety, and just want to skip to the point, scroll down until you hit bold text and a link. I'm not going to make it any easier than that for you, lol.

I have recently picked back up a remarkable game called EVE Online, which I am sure plenty of people have heard of. If you've heard of it, but never played it, you're probably thinking about closing this blog right now and ignoring me, because people say a lot of terrible shit about this game. They don't know what they're talking about, but sadly the majority of people like to stick to more conventional MMO's and badmouth it without ever giving it the old college try.

The only reason I'm mentioning it isn't to sing the game's praises. It's to ask around and see if anyone else is interested in playing it, and joining me in my great star crusade. If one thing is true about what all the haters say, it's that this game can be very difficult, especially for new players. But the most difficult thing of all about this game is that space is a very, very big place, and it gets lonely. I can't conquer the universe myself, you know?

This game requires friendship, loyalty, teamwork, and determination. Something that most MMO's these days can't say for themselves, and something no single player game can say. This game is so based on the ideals of player interaction and cooperation, in fact, that it's not even worth playing without people in your corner. That is the one, absolute negative thing I can say about it, and it is the position I find myself in now.

I recently joined up with a few of the other bronies in the community who already play the game, and have formed a small 'corporation', the EVE version of a guild. The problem is that it's small, and small groups are limited in their opportunites in EVE. I would like to offer anyone who is interested a chance to try the game for free, and see if it's something you consider to be worth your time. If you like it, we bronies in space could really, really use your help.

I can offer anyone who's ever wanted to try the game an opportunity to do so. If you've played before, gotten dicked by the game community, and decided it was boring, change your mind and click this link. I think you'll like my offer.

This link will give you 21 free days of game time on a new account. That's a pretty big step up from the shitty 14 days they give you on their own.

Now, let me explain why you should click that link and consider this game offer seriously:

1) I will personally teach you everything you need to know to get started, and won't let you struggle through it on your own.

2) I will help to fund you in-game. If you want to do something, I will pay for you to do it.

3) I will run missions with you, mine with you, PvP with you. Even if it means I make no money doing it, as long as you aren't bored. I will keep you entertained, and busy.

4) I will turn you into a fucking space billionaire, whose ship is so spectacular people piss their pants and drool simultaneously when they behold it.

5) Most of these kinds of game offers give the person who supplies the link something when people register. This does too, except here's the thing... it will give me an in-game item that gives a full free month of game time when used. As in, you can buy it with in game money, and pay for your subscription that way. Every person who registers will give me one of these thingies.

Rather than selling it, or using it myself, I will hold on to it, and use it for you, if you register. That means that I will give you that free month for yourself.

Notice that means I don't get shit out of you subscribing, not in the traditional sense. I'm much more interested in playing with all of you than in catering to self-interest, and I'm not going to lose sleep over it. So, really, I'm offering you the chance to play this game with a great group of people (you know who they are, you're one of them here) in space. And you can play for just shy of three months for the cost of one. That's a pretty freaking good deal.

What I want from you in return, if you decide to play, is pretty simple:

1) I want you to enjoy yourself. If you take the trial and don't like the game, tell me.

2) I want you to actually play. A lot of people sign in, can't figure out what to do, and sign back out. I won't let that happen to you, but you have to make an effort to be active.

3) I want you to listen to me in the game. I'm not going to boss you around, but respect your effing elders. It will only help you.

4) Be willing to learn. This game is so dynamic, there is a ton to learn, teach, and do. I can help you with it all, without exception, as long as you have the drive to learn.

That's all I want from you. Don't join me in space if all you want to do is talk to me. If you want to do that, send me PMs or add me on skype, I'm a pretty sociable guy. I love chatting as much as the next guy, but in game I don't need social butterflies, I need pilots. That's not to say we won't talk a shit-ton in game, but you get the picture. Make an effort, don't just float around because antigravity is cool and run your mouth about it.

Disclaimer:

This game is not easy. It is difficult, and it will not coddle you like WoW, or Rift, or Terra, or whatever else you have tried to play before. This game takes time and effort, like video games used to for consoles in the nineties. It will challenge you, enlighten you, and sometimes piss you off. Sometimes it will bore you, sometimes you will sweat bullets. Sometimes you will profit, and sometimes you will lose out. This is not a game for the casual player. This is a game where the bonds you make with the people in your guild, your corporation, will define your gaming experience, for good or for ill.

So, if you are even remotely interested, and your computer can handle it, click that link, download the game, and play for free for a few weeks. Send me a PM if you decide to try it. If you're not sure, and want more information, send me a PM anyways. I'll chatter about this all day if I have to.

It's a great game, but you get out of it what you put into it. Here's hoping some of you will get yourself a pair of wings and help me shoot haters in space. They're out there, putting bounties on us daily just because we're bronies, and I'm not kidding. Bring some guns, and shoot them in the face, like you always wanted to.

This is your chance to be a galactic force for pony. Don't fuck it up.

Fly safe,

        Razorbeam.

I'm making a few changes to how I do things on FIMFiction going forward. Most of it isn't anything major, but I figure I'll just lay it all out and collect what you guys think.

Storymaking changes:

It's been a little bit since I did anything with my stories, which seems to be a growing trend lately. Truth be told I have no real reason for it, since work has actually gotten easier recently. However, I have also not been drinking hardly at all since January or so, so I like to think that the charts of my story activity and drinking activity are directly proportional. The more I drink the more I write, I guess.

To make a long story short (ha, story puns) I really just need to actively motivate myself or something. I think. I don't really know how this works, as normally I actually feel driven to write stuff, but lately the drive has been lackluster. I hope that by simply getting back into writing frequently, I will recover that sensation of wanting to write all the time. I have no problem slipping into that excited and ready mood once I start a chapter, but once it's finished it just goes away for some reason. I know it's there, waiting to be recovered, but I've just sort of buried it in everything else that's happened since fall of last year.

Anyways, rather than saying that I'll have chapters done by certain times or whatever, I'll just start trying to do one a week. More if I feel the urge to write them, but I think that's reasonable enough.

On an only slightly related note, I think I just don't want Tinkermane to be over, yet it's obviously in my way when it comes to other stories. So, despite not wanting the story to end, I have to just get over it and get it done so I can move on to finish WoC and write the HoaD sequel. After that I'll just cruise through the universe willy-nilly until I end up at Dustmarch, which is going to take forever to write. If Dustmarch doesn't end up being at least 200k words, I'll eat some bricks just for the sake of shitting them.

Blogging changes:

It probably does not need mentioning that I blog a lot, and that when I do I say a lot. I like to think that it's entertaining or informative for the most part, and sometimes it's even both. However, I know a lot of people see blog notifications on their feed page or whatever and just sort of shrug and move on. I know, because I do it too.

We're all readers here, but we're really here to read stories, not blogs. I think on a weird sort of base level we all realize that, so the blogs just don't draw us. With read later lists two miles long, sometimes there's just not time to read anything that isn't in the list, right?

No, I'm not gearing up to say I will blog less. That would be silly, and if any of you think I want to talk less you're kidding yourselves. Actually, I intend to transition to using audio blogs, sort of like podcasts I guess.

It's still just an idea I'm juggling around, but I think it would be simpler and more effective. The spoken word and the written word are a lot alike, but also very different. It's no secret that the spoken word is more efficient, and can speak volumes through tone and inflection alone. Things that the written word sometimes requires whole paragraphs to achieve.

I think it will be easier for people who would enjoy "reading" my blog, but who don't really want to "read" it. With the audio blog you can open it up, hit play, and then go about your business elsewhere on the internet while you just listen to what I have to say. Or don't, I don't care. Anyways, this was something I've been wanting to do for a while, and now that I have a mic decent enough for the job I wouldn't mind making that leap.

Userpage stuff:

The most minor thing of all, I think. I changed my userpage up again, adding some banners and removing the blog section because it takes up too much space and there's a better page for that. I rewrote my bio into a story format for shits and giggles, and all in all I'm satisfied. Check it out if you like, offer feedback and all that jazz. If anyone has ideas for how I could improve upon it, I'm happy to hear them.

That's all. Lots and lots of words and pagebreaks, bringing you the latest Razor News that nobody needed to know since it affected absolutely no one personally.

Hope you all have a pleasant however long it is before I write something again and make you all laugh, cry, or just generally confused,

        Razorbeam.

Yeah, me too. I have some trouble believing it myself, but it's finally happening.

Some programming to illustrate. I even commented it for you:

bool weekend = true;

while(weekend)

{    //If Razorbeam is writing

      if (writing)

      {    //Drink. Pass in motivation to complete final chapter, epilogue, and  author's notes

           //Stop writing, end weekend.

           this.drink(whiskey);

           this.completeStory(motivation);

           this.drink(whiskey);

           this.completeEpilogue(finalChapter);

           this.drink(whiskey);

           this.lolWut(authorNotes);

           this.drink(whiskey);

           writing = false;

           weekend = false;

      }

      else

      {//If Razorbeam is not writing

           this.drink(whiskey);

           this.sepuku(tanto);

           weekend = false;

      }

}

Yay code. This is my life now.

This weekend I will be writing the final chapter of Tinkermane, as well as the much awaited (by me) epilogue. I can promise only 3 things:

1) It will be exactly as mediocre as you have all come to expect of me. [Zero mediocrity is an acceptable value]

2) Chapter XIII will be the most epic (and lengthy) chapter so far.

3) I will be drunk. A lot. In fact, as often as I am able to be.

If these three items are satisfactory to you, then get as uncomfortable as possible on the raggedy edge of your computer seat and fucking wait. Don't read this on your smart-phone / hipster-tablet devices, that's just disrespectful to the amount of drunken labor I will be putting into this weekend. Read the words in full HD. Buy a 1080p monitor or TV for that if you have to.

I have good feels about this finale. I hope you're all as excited as I am! Even I don't completely know what's going to happen.

To the liquor store!

       Razorbeam.

Edit: The validity of my drinking has been challenged. I welcome it.

The best kind of secret.... the kind that I have no obligation to keep, and may therefore discuss most vaguely.

While at work today, a very usual occurrence... occurred. I became bored, and then set off on a glorious adventure through the hallways of my workplace in search of "work". For those of you who are unfamiliar with this tactic, or who are too young to work a full-time job, it means that I ran around and made conversation with many, many people. So many, in fact, that my boss thought that I was busy.

As I was making these conversations with various other employees who were also looking for "work", I was gifted with the knowledge of the great secret. One of my co-workers, and only one, is aware of my identity as Razorbeam. All others are blissfully ignorant for the following reasons:

1) They don't work in my department.

B) I frankly don't imagine they'd care.

?) They're not in my relative age-group.

However, today I discovered that 'B' is not always true, despite the state of '1' and '?'. I found out from my co-worker that there are actually a couple people at my workplace who have been reading my stuff, at work. I was able to verify this, as I can check how many times a website is visited in a day as one of my work privileges. Again, this makes it look like I'm doing work, so gold star for me.

I struggled deeply with my habits on Monday this week and did not visit FimFiction at all from work. However, the firewall logged plenty of activity to FimFiction even without my... generous use of the website. And, what was more, several of the pages linked out to Tinkermane and Visionary.

So, with abuse of power, I was able to determine that there is, in fact, someone(z) at my workplace who is(be) reading my stuff.

To the incredible majority of you, this is probably not a big deal. However, to those of you who work full time jobs for any company with an IT department, this is a warning.

Start locking your car. Start logging your computer off when you go home. Be careful when and where you discuss brony things, and never send emails without at least one carbon copy recipient. I could be anyone. I could be anywhere. I am the guy you never met, who knows you haven't met me. I could find you with ease comparable to that which any man experiences when crushing an ant.

But I won't. Not yet.

Because every page you read without my interference will solidify in your mind that I am not real in your world. That I reside on the internet, and not in your IT department. The sudden and utter paranoia that I know what you are doing and who you are will begin to fade as I continue to behave as if I had never seen anything. Yet all the while I will be watching you more closely than ever.

When you least expect it, and when you are fully convinced that I am not here, you and I will meet face to face. Until then: take care, oh Razor-reader.

Stay away from the water-coolers. They're mine.

Razorbeam.

Yes, it's true. I am releasing the first chapter of a new story sometime today or tomorrow (pending the approval queue).

Before anyone complains, this is something I wrote quite a long while back and had simply withheld because reasons. But, since I have nothing better to do today at work I decided to touch it up a bit and put it through moderation finally. We'll see how it turns out.

First off, it's a crossover fic. Now, granted, I am not a huge fan of crossovers personally. Yet for some reason beyond my comprehension I felt compelled to write this one, and the ideas for it quite literally kept me up all night at one point, so I had no choice but to write the first (and currently only) chapter of it in order to silence the craziness in my head and get some sleep.

Secondly, it's got nothing to do with Visionary. Eternal sadness, I know.

Thirdly, it's a League of Legends crossover, so that should be fun.

The first chapter is just setup, like first chapters are supposed to be, so it's probably not paced very well. Still, I hope it conveys what it needs to and appropriately establishes the circumstances and setting. I may edit it further at a later date to feel less 'rushed' if enough people agree with me that it's a little fast-paced. But if nobody has issues with it, then we're golden. As it stands there's only so much editing work I can do while at my job (slow day or not) so any tweaks of that nature will just have to wait until later.

The crossover will not be getting frequent updates. It will not interfere with my Visionary work. It's just there for me to goof off with and have some fun when I get overloaded with the Visionary Universe stuff, because that happens sometimes.

It will be comedic at times. It will be tragic at times. It will be epic at all times.

Bored at work, and the internet will suffer for it,

        Razorbeam.

EDIT: Holy hell, that went through approval fast. ACADEMY RECORD!

Now that you have been amused by my shameless Photoshopping of otherwise perfectly good artwork and are hopefully reading this blog like the title says to, I will explain why this image is relevant and funny.

SocraticBrony, a good friend of mine (and probably of anyone who's had the privilege of meeting him) is in need of a little community assistance. Financially. [Continue reading before going "nope". I'm not a telemarketer or an infomercial spokesman, so keep reading, damn it.]

It's not anything dire or urgent, mind you. He's not starving in the cold, unforgiving reaches of Scotland or anything like that. However, this is very much a noble cause, in my opinion, so I respectfully request you give this blog a complete read-through and some good, solid thought at the very least. Anyways, with that little "just stick around and read it please" plug out of the way, on to business.

SocraticBrony is a community contributor whose main focus is music, as many of you know. I admit bias, however I will happily say that he is easily one of the best classical and orchestral composers that I have come across in our community. However, even the greatest of artists can find their growth limited by the tools they have available. Thought Socratic's work is absolutely spectacular, he is capable of much more.

If you find my clearly-skewed review of his work to be unacceptable, I challenge you to try his music for yourself and call me a liar. I'll put money that nobody PMs me to tell me they disagree.

That music is what he's been able to accomplish with the tools at his disposal. However, he is looking to upgrade the software he composes with to greatly improve his works and grant him the ability to fully pursue the compositions he hears in his head daily. The issue is that this software is expensive, and likely many of you have heard of the EastWest group, whose software is top-of-its-class.

Paying for it out of pocket is just beyond his means at the moment, but the software is currently on sale for, I believe, a quarter of its usual cost. I have no idea how long this sale on it lasts, and so here we are.

I (and Socratic) am asking for your help. This is his best opportunity to get the upgrade and let him move to the next level in his music making career, a passion very near and dear to his heart. I do not know about the rest of you, but I consider the pursuit of one's passions to be paramount. Our world is nothing without creativity, and creativity is nothing without mastery. Our community knows this better than any other.

You can donate to his quest for musical superiority here. If you don't like my rendition of the donation request, you can find Socratic's own heartfelt request on his blog.

I'm all out of links at long last. If you can't donate, don't worry. If you can only donate a dollar, you're a saint. Every little bit you put in this donation account puts him one step closer to symphonic enlightenment, and I can promise with absolute confidence that it would be money well spent on your behalf. After all, he will never stop composing, and you will be able to literally hear your investment in his talents.

Think on it. At the absolute least, share this blog, or Socratic's blog, with people you know [preferably rich ones]: doing that is free, and it would only take you like ten seconds... thirty if your internet sucks.

Blog post is long, I regret nothing,

      Razorbeam.

No announcement site-blog, no reasoning, and no logic to be found in the changes made to the site recently.

Please put it back the way it was. Orange was a terrible choice, and I want my notification icon to be somewhere that I can notice it. Stop pretending to be Facebook by cramming everything useful in the upper left-hand corner, and return to the use of your previous layout. There was nothing wrong with it, and I fail to see how moving everything and adding new buttons will make things easier on the users, or improve site functionality.

Kind of running out of reasons to continue using FimFiction, and losing all faith in its design team,

       Razorbeam.

Edit: Yes, I now know the site bar changes, but when I got home from a very trying day it was stuck on orange and I did not care for it.

First of all, it's been a long time since I blogged anything besides the tournament, but it's time. I finally got off my lazy ass and finished the map to my entire Visionary universe. Personally I don't think it's too bad, and apparently neither does reddit, because Socratic put it up on the /r/mlp board for everyone to see, and it was in like... 7th on the front page or something, last I checked. Which I think is pretty damned cool.

Disclaimer:

I realize a lot of places don't seem like they are where they're supposed to be. A lot of people think that, since Hasbro ripped off a bunch of American city names to make their jobs easier, the Equestrian cities should be placed similarly to where they would be placed in America. I disagree, and would like to point out that if I wanted to make shit that easy on myself too, I would probably just use the US map. So, don't stress too much about what shit isn't where it "should be".

In other news, I will be releasing the next Chapter of Tinkermane by Friday. That includes editing and such, so really it will be done by like... Friday morning.

I say next because I had initially thought there was only one chapter left before the epilogue. But, when I got to thinking about it, I realized there are actually two. So, there are still three chapters left. After the insane and unannounced hiatus I took with the story, I'm not sure how many of you are still into Tinkermane at this point, but for those of you I haven't lost to the flow of time, hopefully this is exciting news. I know it is for me, it's been good to be working on my writings again.

Enjoy,

       Razorbeam.

The above is a dramatization of SocraticBrony's reaction, when he won the Unity Games in a most impressive final match by knockout.

Yes, Socratic, it really is over. Don't cry.

First and foremost, I would like to state that the fight was phenomenal. SocraticBrony and Nathan Traveler both put their all into it, and it is a thrilling read, as if anything less would be fitting for such a monumental occasion. I encourage anyone who participated in the games, and even those who did not, to read it, as it is just as much a literary art as any story I have read, or any other battle I've ever seen written out. Considering that I have twelve years of forum roleplay-battle experience (long enough to say that without feeling sorry for myself) I think my recommendation of what should be considered a stellar literary fight carries some weight.

Go read, go comment, go congratulate. Don't congratulate them here, I'm the only one who gets notifications about that, and I'm not Nathan or Socratic. They have earned your attention, believe me.

Next, but no less true, I would like to say that I am amazed. I had said from the beginning of this tournament that it was anyone's game, but that in reality it would be a challenge and a very real test of skill, tenacity, and creativity, not to be taken lightly. Socratic and Nathan exemplified all three of those necessary traits in each of their duels, and even outside of that when simply roleplaying in the threads. Their dedication to more than the tournament... to their characters, the stories woven into them, and the goals they strove for, is to be applauded. They did not just compete in the games... they lived through them. Survived them.

Socratic didn't even think he would make it through round one. Now and then he would explain to me how certain he was he would lose, sooner or later. No matter his wins as they piled up, he remained steadfast in his belief that if he won it would be nothing short of a miracle. He was not a writer by trade, and had only ever published a single chapter of work for the community. Yet here he stands, at the top of the ladder. Proof that he is more a writer than he believed, and far more capable than he would have imagined.

Nathan, by contrast, came into this tournament a writer. Perhaps not certain of victory, but not unwilling to reach for it, and pursue it. He stood as the ultimate challenger in these games, pressing all he faced to improve themselves, to write harder and think faster. As a writer of renown and clear skill, it does not surprise me in the least that he was the contender that the other end of the bracket was made to stand against in the finals. Tenacious, clever, and quick, Nathan's skill and effort are not diminished in the least by his defeat. In the end, win or lose, he was the only other to have tested his mettle against all who sought to rise against him.

Both fought well, neither one better than the other but in title. Better than none, for all who fought in these games fought knowing that only one would emerge victorious, and took that gamble with their time, their patience, their skill, and their drive.

Though congratulations for Socratic and Nathan are loudest tonight, understand that all sixty-four of you who fought were a part of their success, and the success of the games as a whole. Congratulations are in order for all of you who put your talents out there on the field for all to see. Even in defeat, that is a most worthy endeavor, and you, each and every one, have my praise for making these games what they have been.

Though the ladder is empty, the tournament is not complete. One exhibition match remains, as well as the long-awaited resolution of Virgil's RP arc, a story forged over the course of the entire tournament, and very much deserving of it's ending... or beginning.

I'd cry, but I'd rather drink. I have never been more proud in my life to have been a part of something so powerful. Hard to believe we're standing here, almost three months later. I may have started these games, but you all carried them through on your backs, with your efforts. These games are what you made them to be, and I wouldn't have them any other way.

If you've got a drink, lift it. I'm lifting mine to you right the hell now.

Congratulations. You've earned it.

Remember well,

        Razorbeam.