It's been a year that I've been on this site, and I... well, I'm here to say goodbye.

Sorry, but I'm done with this site. I can't be on here for hours on end anymore, and I need time to get my life in check.

The only reason why I'm even on the site in the first place was MPPT3K, and that fell right through.

I'm just going to be blunt: this site sucks ass. Major ass, and I'm too much of a pussy wimp to take it (as anyone who riffed and PM'ed me knows). The fics that get attention seldom deserve it, all the while the stories that have a modicum of care, love, and attention gets thrown to the way side for repugnant, deplorable, stupid fics.

There's no reason I'm even on the site. I haven't read any new fics in months, I don't write, my blog post aren't riveting, funny, or mind bogglingly awesome/stupid, so what's the point?

But, there's a real reason why I'm not coming back here. It's my mom. She's going to Puerto Rico for two weeks to visit Grandma, and she doesn't look like she has much time. We can only afford one person to go, so it was decided for it to be my mother. On top of that, my mom has thyroid cancer. Turns out my parents were around when Chernobyl blew up (not on top of it, mind you, but close enough), sending massive amounts of radiation to her, my dad, my two year old older brother (don't worry, he's still alive and well. for now), and me while I was still in the womb. Anyway, her health and memory isn't what it used to be (like the rest of the family), and it turns out there's several things wrong with us because of the radiation (but no super powers. what a rip off), but it's nothing to serious. Well, it turns out that not only do we have mental problems because of incident, but our bodies kinda suck as well. I've been told I've got the insides of someone twice my age. Neat, huh? So, on top of my hernia and my spine about to be figuratively ripped out, my body is slowly killing itself. Neat, huh? My brother has more or less the same problems, but he greats them in stride, chuckling at them like their nothing (I guess that happens when you've got a family to feed of your own). Me, on the other hand... if I don't find other work, I'll be in a wheel chair before I'm 30. And that's the tip of the iceberg, but I know that everyone is dealing with just as bad shit (or even worse) so I wont bore you with all that.

Anyway, what I'm saying is that I'm being super emo right now, but I'm totally serious when I say that this is the last time you're going to hear from me. I know it's sad, stupid and cliche of me, but I've got bigger problems in my life that I can't be spending time on a website that I don't even like... except the people I've meet are really awesome...

I can't tell you how difficult it is to describe how sad I'm leaving. When I got here a year ago, I would never have realized how connected I would be to such a warm community of people.

Many times I have been humbled by the kindness of your hearts. When I look at what I've done here, the people I've meet, the stories we've read, I will always remember the good times we shared, even the times where we disagreed and I was an overly emotional baby.

Tomorrow I will wake up in my new life, full of yet-to-be realised opportunities, and empty of your company... I will be in a strange limbo.

You’ve helped me through some difficult times, and shared the joyous times in yours. Some people judge their lives on what they do, others on who they are. I want my life judged on the friends I keep, and how enriched I am from just knowing you.

To out a couple of people:

You might remember a time when I was maddeningly depressed and angry. Well I know it might not seem much to people but Atlas Nebula stepped in to lend a hand, even if he himself doesn't know it. I don't think he knows how much that meant to me. It was a kindness that I now try to return to newcomers. Just being around the guy made me happy, and he even took my whiny bullshit in stride. I'm sorry I got mad at him for helping a clop fic writer and being friends with... a few people I don't really like. I really enjoyed our riffs together - that was easy the most fun I had while riffing, and with you to work off, the riffs just kept coming (even if they weren't that great. I'm talking about mine, of course) Oh, and if need him or whatever, feel free to use Anon in anyway you wish. Just because I'm leaving doesn't mean that guy needs to die with me.

I also want to mention Typewriterpony. Always with a joke and a smile, and no matter what kind of a day I had, I was always welcome to relax and unwind with Typewriterpony's company, even if it was just from a computer screen. It was like a refuge and it's another example of generosity and tolerance that I would like to emulate. He always, always found a way to make me laugh, and I can't begin to tell you how much that means to me. Thank you, Type, and I'm sorry that I wont be able to finish our riff together.

I would like to thank Thorax for being the very first person to add me to their watch list. He's a very cool guy with a very awesome sense of humor, and his fics reflect that a lot. If there's one thing you can take from this, check the guy out. He deserves some good attention. His blogs are hilarious as well.

There's also DPV111, who's not only an awesome person, his blog is all about showing the best/underrated fics on the site. Not only that, he's the first person to offer his help towards my riffs, and his input was and always will be most appreciated. He makes great points and has logic to back it up. That's rare nowadays. Thank you.

Dragon Emperor Geon. Man, I miss that guy. I first came across him when I was reviewing a terri-bad Mary Sue HiE fic, and he asked me to judge his OC. We talked for a bit, and it was revealed to me what a great guy he is. He even took one of my ideas and wrote a fic about it! But, the thing that I'll miss the most about him will be his blogs. Back when he was an active member, his blogs where always informative (and sometimes crazy), no matter the subject at hand. And he's really funny as well.

I remember a guy called Reasonandrhyme. While he didn't agree with my views on one of his favorite fics, it's always pleasant to talk to him. He even let me proofread a fic of his! It's awesome, by the way. I wish we had more time to get attenuated better, but...

TheGentlemanCreeper, Coffeebean, Crowley, and TimeBomb0 for being the reason why I even came to this site in the first place. (did you know that TimeBomb0 actually added me to his watch list? One of my favorite pony authors ever likes my shit enough to warrant that response - he even likes my riff! can you believe it?), and AnonAuthor for writing my favorite Mature fic ever. Atlas knows the one.

RatherHomely for writing up the awesome MPPT3K ( I liked him even before he wrote that, and his Choose Your Own Adventure fic was hilarious), but for allowing the likes of me to have guest riffs, no matter how bad mine were. It was the first time I've ever written anything that wasn't an assignment (and it showed) but he gave me a chance anyway.

And who could forget about Fallen Prime? No one, that's who. Don't worry, dude, being near the bottom of this list doesn't mean I love you any less than anyone else here. All of the homo. Anyway, I think the first time I meet the guy was during a riff shuffle (one of the first times he got editorial powers, I think. my head is like a thing with very many holes in it), and I would like to think that he and I are friends by this point. I would like to thanks him for his time and patience. Don't worry, he knows what I mean (wink). But seriously, I'm going to miss you, man. Good luck with everything (especial with those riffs you have to do. I saw that list. Yeesh.)

R1NGmasterJ5, for being the "former" riff master and starting the whole FanFic Theater 3000 thing on this site (he is the one that did that, right?) Remember that review you, Fallen and I did on that one Dusk Shine fic? That fic is an abomination, but I was happy that at least it was a reason to meet you. It was an honor, sir.

Hey, I'm looking at you, MrSing. I remember seeing your name all over the place WAY before you made an account here over in that gigantic riffing dock. Even if your time was brief, I'm glad that we had a chance to riff together. I wish we could've interacted a bit more so I would have more things to say about you. I'm sorry that your part is not as pandering sappy as the others.

Hey, it's Super_Big_Mac! I'm still surprised a fellow riffer actually asked me to riff something! It's too bad I'll never get the chance. I'm sorry that I couldn't deliver on my promise.

Muleicous. I've always enjoyed your riffs, and I've always wanted to so a co-riff together. Continue to be awesome, okay?

I really hope you write a fic that gets the attention it deserves, Burraku_Pansa. Seriously, it's a crime that your fics get 5 thumbs ups at best. I know a few people that can relate to that (a few of them I have links to their stories on my front page)

I want to thank everyone that I riffed together with in my time here ( I know I missed on some names, and I'm sorry. even in my goodbyes I'm an incompetent moron), all the ones that I've only meet once for bringing me laughs and enduring my company while we all mock the crap out of a horrible fic. The first one I ever did was that horrible Mykan one, and as terrible as that fic is, it did bring a lot of us together, so there's something good that came out of that.

To see you here in front of me (you know what I mean, right?), the last time all together, is a picture I will treasure for a very long time.

So... until the next time we gather, my very dear friends, farewell for now.

This has been NaturalGlitch.

Goodbye.

Greetings, ladies and gentle-riffers. Atlas Nebula here, and today we’re going to break the rule of “Don’t riff a fic that you like.” because this is a very unique case. Somehow, I found a good Fluttershy clopfic. From darf of all people. Today’s fic is “Feathers” and, despite being a surprisingly pleasant read, it still contains a lot of shit that can be easily taken the wrong way or out of context. So sit back, relax, and let the show begin! I’d also like to thank NaturalGlitch for helping me on this.

The riff is here! Comments are enabled as well.

This fic... let's just say that it, uh, surprised me. Hope you all enjoy, and I would like to thank Atlas for inviting me to riff with him again.

This is the part where I complain about MPPT3K getting shut down. It sucks the big one. Hard.

How does it feel to get that fanon crushed by the official comic that's licensed by Hasbro?

What part of "changeling" and "eating love" escapes you people?

Atlas Nebula here, and after the massive success that was the “My Second Life” collaboration, I figured I’d do something very special for you all. You could say that Fallen Prime inspired me to do this, but I feel like going on a bit of a marathon. Sort of a riffing adventure, if you will. Four fanfics, all clop, from some famous/infamous authors on FiMFiction. Now that may not sound like much, but these fics that I’ve chosen are rather long for one shots. They’re also rather . . .  strange. Strange in that they have much more upvotes than downvotes, among other reasons.

In order of appearance, here are the specimens:

Soaking Wet Takes A Shower by castortroy, a second person one sided dialog clopfic.

One Tight Knight by Bronystories, a ganbang rapefic starring Fluttershy.

The Weak and Useless Trixie by RapeTrain-Express, a rapefic starring Trixie and Discord.

rainbow / Dash by darf, a second person human x Rainbow Dash clopfic.

I’d also like to thank NaturalGlitch for collaborating with me on this marathon of misery. Allons-y!

Riff is here, and the comments are enabled. Onwards, you magnificent people!

Phew! Now that was one hell of a marathon! I would like to thanks Atlas for inviting me on this almost literal train of misery. I think this is the biggest riff I've ever done, and I think this is Atlas' first riff in the MPPT3K canon.

Hope we made you laugh one way or another!

MrSing: Welcome, one and all, to the sequel that should not be. Perhaps you’ve heard that a couple of us have been riffing the first ten chapters of the bad HiE fic “My Second Life”, but what you probably don’t know is that there is a small sequel that has been recently added to the site. This is why we are here, say hello to all the nice people, Glitch.

NaturalGlitch: Hello, one and all, to the greatest show on earth! Wait, what do you mean it’s been canceled?! Well, I guess I’ll just riff a dumb little fic, then.

MrSing: That’s the spirit! Well, without further ado, here is the riff of “His Second Life.” May God have mercy on our souls.

The riff is here, and the comments are enabled! Have fun, and, hopefully, you'll have a laugh as well!

And don't worry - this is a very short riff.

This pretty much sums up what I've always felt about King Sombra, but now I have the words! Ha ha!!

You've heard 'em all, my fellow Bronies. From "He has little to no dialogue" to "he barely has a personality." But here I am where I go against popular opinion and explain my stance on it.

The thing is that Sombra was intended to be different than previous villains. He doesn't waste precious time with hammy monologues or underestimating his foe. That and he's pretty much an unstoppable force of nature like Michael Myers or Jason but for kids. I think the problem is that we were expecting him to be the same old, same old but when the episode was different than the past two parters, it threw us for a real loop. It did for me but I got to thinking and I actually found myself appreciating the writers doing something different for what it's worth.

As to why he "didn't do anything, to quote TV Tropes (and save myself from aimlessly babble on):

"Some people were complaining that King Sombra didn't do much. The thing is, he DID, one thousand years ago. Unlike Discord and Nightmare Moon, he had no magical relic to deal with that would be capable of stopping him, because he already did a pretty dang thorough job of it a thousand years ago. He emotionally broke the Crystal Ponies into near depression (meaning they COULDN'T power the Crystal Heart unless they were cheered up) and hid it in his castle in a way that could only be accessed by someone capable of using his magic, protected by a door that not only moved by itself but trapped whoever entered it in their worse fear. And on top of that, finding it would allow him to trigger a trap that not only traps the one going after it but would let him spread his corruption inside the castle without him even having to get through. And the only one keeping him out anyway was slowly weakening and would eventually give out. Whereas the other villains needed to disable their Achilles Heel themselves, Sombra already did. And because of it, he only lost because Spike decided to tag along with Twilight. There was no need for him to actively attack and try to make Cadence's spell give out sooner, because no matter what the heroes did, it'd ultimately benefit him.

The layers of traps are even more impressive when you realize that all the Crystal ponies are Earth ponies, and getting by his traps all but requires the use of magic. A non-unicorn couldn't get through the passageway in the first place, and if they did they'd have to be able to get through the enchanted door (which would delay most ponies long enough for Sombra to notice the intrusion and lay down some whoopass), or up the stairs. And even then the heart is warded against magic anyway. He basically had the foresight to hide the heart in a location that none of the Crystal ponies could get to, and then cover the thing in spells that the most powerful unicorn in Equestria couldn't figure her way out of. And that's just the stuff that's still working a thousand years later; who knows how much security he'd have had up if he were still actually living in the castle.

Furthermore, the traps are deliberately designed to prevent unpowered Earth Ponies from bypassing them, as they require magic and flight.

Another major complaint some fans have about King Sombra is the fact that he barely talks or says anything to anybody. What he DOES do though is continuously act to reclaim the Crystal Empire. King Sombra was already established to be Dangerously Genre Savvy enough to hide the one thing that could defeat him, and then demoralize and eliminate the very power-source for that object. Him barely talking and instead acting shows that he knows the less time his enemies have to think when fighting him, the less chance they have of defeating him."

And this guy hits the nail on the head even more:

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He did nothing besides roar, scream and snarl, and he barely talked. He hardly showed any personality or clear motivations. He didn't actively plot against the heroes. And he didn't live past two episodes.

But did he really have to?

You see, King Sombra has more of what many MLP villains thus far lack: presence. It was his presence alone that made sure the Crystal Ponies remained miserable. It was his presence that kept them from remembering where the Crystal Heart was, or going to the one place it was hidden because they were too scared of him. Just by being there, Princess Cadance was left to suffer for days on end, even with her beloved Shining Armor by her side.

And even then, he still tried to make sure the heroes didn't have their way. He took away Shining Armor's powers, causing Princess Cadance to suffer even more. He left traps that those without the courage and wits to stand up to them could not pass. And even though he wasn't always physically present, his influence remained, and it left a very heavy impact on everyone who dared to stand against him. He also managed to do what no other villain on the show has done before: make Twilight swallow her own pride as a means to defeat him.

From everywhere he went to everywhere his name was merely mentioned, he caused nothing but pain and suffering. And not a single one of us knows why.

And yet there are those who have called him "wasted potential", just because he barely talked or took action, had no clear characterization, and didn't live up to any of your lofty expectations. But I'll be fair; even I expected him to be Sauron as he was before he was slain by Isildur, not Sauron as he appeared in the whole "Lord of the Rings" trilogy.

Sometimes, less really is more. That is why he is, to me, a far greater villain than any of us could have ever anticipated.

Now that I think about it, each of the major villains thus far represents a different "element to writing a good villain" and, in a way, makes up for what the others lack in those regards:

Nightmare Moon: Good back story, makes her more sympathetic

Discord: Good personality, makes him more fun to watch

Queen Chrysalis: Good motivation, makes her actions mesh better with the plot

King Sombra: Good presence, makes his threat more apparent."

You don't have to like Sombra but I suggest you reconsider your reasons for disliking him. Not every evil force has be like Discord and not every two parter has to center around it entirely.

Hope this half-assed attempted at a defense was worth your time. G'bye.

And now, to rip off Typewriterpony. Here's something completely different:

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American version:

Japanese version:

Atlas: Oh no . . . This chapter. The chapter where the story finally starts and the author tries to make a legitimate plot out of this.  No clop this time so all we’re gonna see is people/ponies talking. About what? Nothing interesting, that’s for sure. Please tell me this will end soon, because my sanity can’t take much more of this torture session.

NaturalGlitch: Hi everyone! Guess what?!? I found my meds! Yay! I didn’t remember which ones were mine, so I took them all! So get to be so happy and... happy! Too bad they don’t last long! And from what I hear, this chapter is so bad and boring that you’d wish there was clop! Hurray!!

Read the riff here! Comments enabled, as always.

Also, I updated the first chapter of the Xenophilia riff. Read it here!

I'm a bit shocked that no one left a comment on the last blog, and barely anyone made a comment in the actual doc. Well, maybe "shocked" is the wrong word - I guess "sadden" would make more sense.

Well, I'm sure you guys were all busy, or couldn't think of anything to say. Trust me, this fic definitely has that affect on Atlas and I. We hope we made you laugh one way or another!

Atlas: The first chapter was originally supposed to be a one-shot, but due to popular demand the author continued this “story”. Now because of a few comments from last chapter, I’m going to challenge myself with this one. If I go through the whole chapter without raging or attacking the author even once, I get to rage to my heart’s content next chapter. This can only end well, right?

NaturalGlitch: Well, here we are again, doing this riffing thing. Let’s just get this over with. Really, go read Crowley's Her Whole Darn Heart or something. This seriously should have been a one-shot. There're not enough words that can describe how much I hate everything right now.

Atlas: Don’t worry, cuz we hate you too. Allons-y!

The riff is here. Comments enabled. We took what you guys said into consideration, so it wont be so much "author attacking." I'm bad cop, and Atlas is...not so bad cop. Don't worry, most of the riff isn't directed at the author, so we wont be hurting his feelings or whatever the fuck. I hope we made this bore-fest just a bit more entertaining.

I need my meds.

Atlas: Yes, it seems that mediocre HiE clopfics can make it into the featured box. I tried to point this out but over 700 cloppers tried to kick my face in, so for now we’ll just mock it from a distance. Oh, and the author’s a virgin, and he said that he’s a virgin, and it definitely shows here. *sigh*

NaturalGlitch: Hi again, fair reader and riffers alike! I’m goin in on this blind, just like last time. From what I hear, this is a bland, cliche ridden HiE that got featured. FimFiction is slowly becoming the new TV Tropes (the forums, anyway) with bared idiocy and it’s unbridled joy of jumping into cesspools of mediocrity and stupidity. Well, enough about that, let’s dive in, shall we? Oh, and once again, Try reading these with Fallen’s Riffing drinking game.

Bet you didn't expect another riff so quickly, huh? Well, I never thought I could get another one done either. It helps to have someone else to work off of, and the fic itself is terri-bad, so it was easy to riff. Hope you guy's enjoy!

Read the full riff here! Comments are enabled, as always.