User ID: 42,298
Registered: 21st Jun 2012
Last Seen: 14h, 56m ago
Story views: 0
Good day. I am Nasty Mister Monket, your local British bone-idle bipolar cynical Zen master, fatalist and comedian. I love the unexpectable and the ambivalent.
I will probably merely read the contents of this website rather than contribute. My attempts at writing normally reflect my personality - impossible, insane, inconceivable, inexplicable, incoherent and a complete ripoff.
My favourite flavours of random are flintlocks, Reos, the Four (Five) Horsemen of the Apocalypse, Zen, anything supernatural, eyepatches, self-aware computers, loud suits, disabilities and genetic disorders, sentient inanimate objects, card suits, monochrome and windchimes. If I ever write a story, expect it to contain at least one of those.
No matter how hard you try to conceal it, the world is a deplorable cesspool and we are all destined to a life of pain and misery. And you know what? That's funny. You couldn't make this shit up.
Life is a joke. Everybody laugh. Roll on snare drum. Curtains.
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I'm an open book. Granted, there's no pages in it. But, I'm an open book. 
Have you ever stared at words so long they turn to blood? 
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>>245919
YOU WOULDN'T!
>>245497
TWO of us, and he's the sadist. Lucky for you I'm the one who hates violence.
Don't betray me again, or I may have to offer you brand new spanking deals on your car insurance.
Sponsored by Powergen.
>>245261
That only makes one of us, 'friend'.
>>244903
Well then, I feel very sorry for you. Sponsored by Powergen.
Your bio is pretty funny. I also share some of the same beliefs with you.