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Yours Truly


User ID: 13,942
Registered: 14th Feb 2012
Last Seen: 13h, 51m ago
Story views: 6,352

Just a bully from the East.

Non-native English speaker here. Feel free to correct my mistakes!

I'm the guy who puts stuff in his mouth and speaks aloud trying to imitate earth ponies talking, to hear how it sounds.

Meanwhile, in an alternative universe, where the internet wasn't anonymous, nobody posted revolting and disgusting stuff.

Sometimes I just look into the mirror and wonder who this handsome rascal is.


...Story of my life.


I'm eating ice cream to increase my manliness level!

"When you are in the right, you can afford to keep your temper, and when you are in the wrong, you cannot afford to lose it." (Mahatma Gandhi)

Keep this in mind and always remain polite. Showing your anger will not win you any debate, but will destroy your dignity.

No, throwing in a smiling emoticon after a thinly veiled personal insult does not make it polite (but at least shows your hypocrisy).

My checklist as a pony writer:

[x]Write an acceptable Comedy fic

[x]Write an acceptable Slice of Life fic

[  ]Write an acceptable Dark fic

[  ]Write an acceptable Adventure fic

[  ]Write an acceptable fic of another genre

[  ]Write a fic with lovable OCs

[  ]Get featured on FIMFic

[x]Get featured on EqD

[  ]Get a life

And yes, I'm high.

High on friendship. Friendship and magic.

P.S.: If you happen to be Hungarian, here's a short fic I wrote, featuring Princess Celestia and Luna.

Anything you say can and will be held against you

#548069 · 3d, 12h ago · · ·
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You just had a fake notification

#545590 · 4d, 20h ago · · ·
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>>544606

If you do that, we no longer know each other.

Also I would then have to kill your mother.

#544606 · 5d, 12h ago · · ·
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What the shit you changed your avatar without telling me WHY DID YOU CHANGE YOUR AVATAR WITHOUT TELLING ME.

YOU SHOULD HAVE ASKED FOR PERMISSION.

I'M GONNA CHANGE MINE AND TAKE A TWIXIE AVATAR SO YOU'LL HAVE A TWIXIE PICTURE IN YOUR USER'S PAGE I HOPE YOU LIKE THAT THAT WILL TEACH YOU.

#492409 · 4w, 4d ago · · ·
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>>492012

Your curiosity is flattering, but I'm afraid my answer is 'no'. I wrote that story specifically to show that a millennium of solitude is rather heavy, and that Celestia, who's a good person, would feel rather guilty for banishing her sister. The international community has a lot of these kind of stories, however, so I feel mine is less than needed.

#492012 · 4w, 4d ago · · ·
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Out of curiosity, will there ever be an English translation of that story you wrote in Hungarian?

#253102 · 24w, 4d ago · · ·
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>>252832

But at least everyone who sees this comment or blog post will lose too, so it's a tie for last.

#252832 · 24w, 5d ago · · ·
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You, or I should say, I, just lost the game.

#252161 · 24w, 5d ago · · ·
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#252160 · 24w, 5d ago · · ·
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>>252159

Same here, same here...

#252159 · 24w, 5d ago · · ·
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>>252156 Shut up me. The only reason I'm dealing with you is because you're me.

5 13942

Would you like to read something from me?

[Comedy] [Random] [Alternate Universe]
Ponies are cool. Motorbikes are cool. Ponies riding motorbikes IN SPACE should be extra cool, right?
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[Slice of Life]
What happened at the Canterlot garden party when it came to light that Rainbow Dash is not, in fact, the Wonderbolts' trainer? And just why did Fancy Pants favour Rarity? Why haven't we seen her high society friends since the Garden Party?
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[Adventure]
If mind is the perfect labyrinth, how does one escape? The case of Twilight meeting a unicorn called Even.
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Evergreens

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Adventures and exploits of Sir Spike de Draco, the legendary dragon warrior.
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[Comedy] [Slice of Life]
Twilight slowly loses her mind as preparations for the Summer Sun Celebration go horribly wrong.
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[Comedy] [Crossover]
What ho! Big doin's on the night of the Grand Galloping Gala!
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[Comedy]
Twilight volunteers to manage Rarity's shop. Hijinks ensue. What else could happen?
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[Comedy] [Crossover] [Alternate Universe]
1984 pony style!
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All crimes I've committed against literature


The Day Twilight Sparkle Turned Into a Diamond Dog

The following memoir is our most credible and reliable document regarding Twilight Sparkle's transformation. Please note that, while it is possible that not all dialogue has been reproduced verbatim, the actual events happened exactly as put down here, up to and including Twilight Sparkle's eventual fate.

//Rated Everyone for absolutely no objectionable content.//

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4,167 words · 269 views  ·  8  ·  6  · 

Vignettes

Two short sketches which aren't long enough to deserve their own posts.

In At High Noon (genre: comedy), you witness an epic western showdown between Twilight 'Six-Shooter' Sparkle and 'El Bandito' Rarity.

In Not Much (genre: slice of life), you glimpse into the life of Carrot Top, a pony who has never had to make a world-changing decision.

//Many thanks to Starfall for proofreading and Zorbitas for the cover image!//

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1,319 words ( 2 chapters ) · 115 views  ·  8  ·  0  · 

Evenfall

If mind is the perfect labyrinth, how does one escape? The case of Twilight meeting a unicorn called Even.

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4,487 words · 2,105 views  ·  120  ·  3  · 

Sweat and Edit

Have you ever wondered what happened at the Canterlot garden party when it came to light that Rainbow Dash is not, in fact, the Wonderbolts' trainer? And just why did Fancy Pants favour Rarity? Why haven't we seen her high society friends since the episode Sweet and Elite?

Never fear, dear readers, your sleepless nights are over, for here's the light-hearted tale exactly as it happened!

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5,817 words · 565 views  ·  28  ·  0  · 

Daring Do and the Shiny Crystal

"Daring Do leaned forward as she accelerated to a breakneck pace. There were those who said driving a motorbike inside a spaceship made no sense, but after the third robotic gorilla attack Daring knew better..."

Prepare for space-shattering kabooms, dramatic pew pews, and copious amounts of raw AWESOMENESS, because the chase for the generic nondescript artifact has begun!

//Special thanks to McNeil, my proofreader. He rocks!//

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3,508 words · 2,835 views  ·  88  ·  4  · 

On the fly · 7:06pm

A fly was sitting on the window. The term ‘sit’ might not be entirely correct, given how windows are vertical surfaces, but it captures the essence of the act, so let’s keep it. So, he was sitting and sitting, rubbing his front pair of legs from time to time as flies are prone to do. Fly thoughts swirled through his head lazily, and all in all he just enjoyed all the virtues of being a fly.

At some point he saw another fly landing beside him. Since it’s generally known that flies have no names, let’s just call them ‘first fly’ and ‘second fly’.

“Howdy!” the second fly would’ve said, if flies had been able to talk –  which is, of course, an absurdity. “What are you doing here?”

“Nothing, nothing, I just withdrew here,” the first fly would’ve answered apologetically.

“Withdrawing here? Why so glum? It’s a beautiful day! Come, take wing, leave this boring old window behind you! Start living a little!” so the second one would’ve encouraged the first.

“Oh, I wouldn’t want to make a ruckus, you know. I’d rather not call attention to myself if I can avoid it. I lead a quiet life, not sticking my nose into others’ business: in these trying days, the safest is not to ask for trouble, you know. Maybe this way I won’t catch the eyes of the big shots.”

“Such cowardice!” the second fly would’ve snorted, had he not lacked the necessary articulating organs. “With this submissiveness, you will only make things worse than they already are! Be braver, stand up for yourself and your rights! If you do nothing but sheepishly let the power shear your wool, no one will notice if you disappear!”

With this insult (for flies have very low opinions of sheeps), the second fly took wing, shot up, and started to circle around in the room with a loud buzz, proudly, valiantly preaching his uncompromising beliefs.

Shortly after, however, the voice of a man could be heard.

“Hey, there’re flies in this room! Get the swatter!”

It didn’t take long for the large flyswatter to appear. Slowly, menacingly, it drew on the first fly, and no matter how small he tried to make himself, his standstill only made him all the easier target. The swatter struck, and memories of the first fly soon faded into a faint smear on the window’s glass.

However, as the flyswatter tried to stalk the second fly, it missed. It struck for a second, then a third time, but all in vain: the fly’s quick moves and nimble maneuvers proved to be too much for it. The errant strikes smacked barren walls and furniture.

The second (and by now, only) fly soared into prideful heights, and the human’s voice spoke again.

“Hey, Lousie, this one keeps dodging the swatter! Give me the bug spray!”

And the second fly was sprayed, and he descended into the depths, dead.

Lucky Roll · 14 views