To whom it may concern,

Hello. My name is Rarity, and I believe we have a problem.

So begins a letter: by far the most special letter that's been brought by land, sea and air to Ponyville, or any other town this side of Canterlot. A letter that tells an unnverving story you'd be sure you knew would end badly if there ever was any doubt, if anything because all has already been lost.

Follow Spike's previously unseen cynical and oddly well-versed side as he narrates the exciting adventures he and his friends lived the day a fictional dangerous cannibal was magically brought to Ponyville from the Team Fortress 2 universe, no less! Along his friends Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie and Twilight Sparkle, the baby dragon must face unnecessary violence and fraudulent story titles in order to restore peace to the town and finally enjoy a day where his lunch threatens less lives and he kills boredom instead of it being the other way around.

Rated Y for "Yes, I'm serious".