Well...suppose I have some apologizing to get to. I...may have over-exaggerated the content of my previous blog post. I wrote it off as a rant, but I made it sound more like a great big vent that I directed towards my innocent readerbase than any old mindless line of banter. You guys shouldn't have to take the full brunt of my troubles, if any part of it. I should feel both lucky and grateful to have all of you by my side, reading and listening to what I have to tell. I've come a long way since I first joined the site, but now I just feel like a complete dick piston for having unrightfully implanted yet another heated, mindless post onto the site. We get plenty of those every day.
And for that, I'm sorry. Deeply so.
I've...learned and re-learned a few things the days following my posting of said blog post. I'm...not entirely sure of what else to say here, but...
You guys deserve better than this. A simple, thoughtless apology followed by a quick take of leave with hopes of forgiveness is worth much, much less than the jewel-encrusted monolith that is your time.
I think I'll do this in a different way. A better, more interesting way.
Dear Princess Celestia-
Over the past few weeks, I, Hivemind, have come to learn from my mistakes and remember who I truly am. Not in body, but in spirit and will. I remember once telling myself to write only when I am most comfortable. While I may still hold this to some degree, I've found that if I continue to write under the stress of simply getting stuff done AND to a degree that outmatches everypony else is not only wrong, but an extremely bad idea. The proof is right in front of me...
I remember a time when I would always start off my day with the saying, "Patience, and the reward will be all the sweeter." As time went on and as new challenges arose, I have slowly forgotten this saying and its meaning, which sent me on an inevitable course towards a deep, troubling downfall into the pit of my own mind. I could never free myself from...well, myself. My ambitions became constrained by my doubts and the need to impress everyone I ever knew (yes, even my own cat). Of course, such a feat is impossible, but this belief stayed with me for an absurdly long amount of time, and thus, a new hate unknowingly grew from it; a hate for all competition, my own, personal pit of insatiable, mental hubris.
But, as the days went one, I learned that winning, in any form, counts for nothing! Sure, there's a sense of achievement involved, but it won't last forever. I don't have to impress everypony. Just make them happy by delivering the next act in the line of the many grand, mysterious stories that I craft from the ground up! I need to ignore the mistakes of the past and the achievements of those around me and just keep succeeding on in what I do best, and with the help of my friends, my readers, at my side, there is nothing I can't overcome by willpower alone.
Phew. That took longer than I thought to put together, though I do hope you enjoy my most modest of apologetic workings. I suppose now I can get back to finishing this next chapter for Butterflies in her Tummy, start writing out part two of this new chapter for Monster or Mother, and then just kick back with what little time I have left and enjoy a nice, long game of--
*Faint, rushed whispers are heard in the background.*
Wait, my birthday is tomorrow? Well then...there goes my free time. T_T