1. Member Since 8th Nov, 2011
  2. offline for 10h, 35m

Pte GA, Canadian Forces. Currently stationed at CFG Petawawa. Small time writer, most projects on hold however, due to military training. Always willing to talk via PM, email, or skype.

The stories I have written

  • Flight 19 Flight 19 disappears and ends up in an unfamiliar country filled with unfamiliar people. Or ponies. by Goldenarbiter 200,201 words · 7,554 views · 602 likes · 32 dislikes
  • The Fallen The story of a fallen angel as he finds his place amongst Equestria. by Goldenarbiter 4,113 words · 804 views · 27 likes · 5 dislikes

Watching

180 members follow Goldenarbiter

Goldenarbiter follows 109 members

Jun
5th
2016

First off, I am going to make it official. I am cancelling Flight 19. I am also cancelling my other stories. I would also like to apologies to the faithful who held on to hope that I would keep making content.

The reasons for this are probably pretty melodramatic, so if you are content with the information that I am doing these cancellations, then you may move on with your life, and forget I ever even existed. If you would like to see how we planned the story to pan out, you can skip to the bottom. For those of you who would like to know why, here is my answer:

I am empty inside. For the last 2 years I have sat down periodically (less so over time) and just stared at my screen, trying to bring something, anything to life. It is by no fault of the story that this happened, but rather, my own personality flaws, and a large number of real factors.

Nothing is going well at work, I have minimal contact with the outside (I think the last time me and the Co-author talked meaningfully was a year or more ago), my mental health is degrading quickly (massive memory loss issues caused by who knows what), and my physical health is declining as well.

Combine that with my lack of emotional health, and you have a pretty comprehensive answer: I am already dead.

Make no assumption; I do not, nor ever plan on ending my life. That is not the way for me.

That being said, I have no reason to live outside selfless things. I keep going so those around me don't have to deal with the paperwork, or so my family doesn't have to feel the loss. There is nothing for me in this life that makes me want to keep going, and every time I sit down to try and write, that comes out in my stories. I don't want to publish emo bullshit, so I don't. I delete it and try again. And again. And again.

Every day, I wake up, go to work, come home, eat sometimes, try and write, read a little, and go to bed.

That is not living. That is existing.

I have tried everything I can think of to live:

I went on a eurotrip, which while fun while it lasted, just gave me a comparison of what it feels like to be normal.

I tried dating, but every girl in (literally) 200km has rejected me, probably because of my shitty personality.

I tried faking being happy. That lasted literally until I went to work the next day.

The worst part about all of this, is I know what would make me happy. A literal change in scenery. The army sent me to my home town to work on the largest base in Canada. Some would think that's a good thing, but it isn't. This town has nothing that doesn't close at 5pm, most of the women are either married, pretending not to be married, or in highschool (good luck finding someone not in those categories), and nothing in the way of modern luxuries (IE: halfway decent internet (I am on a 6mb connection, shared with 300 people), a nightlife or... well anything really...).


Melodrama ends

So, I'm rambling on and not doing anything productive, so to sum up: Everything is horrible, my life is devoid of meaning, other emo shit, etc.

Here is what I had planned for F19 in the future. Notes

I'm sorry it's a mess, I'm pretty sure there is a full chapter in there somewhere, but it comes with a handy navigation bar on the left. You could probably just skip all the way down to 'storyboard'.

If anyone wants to complain, you know where to find me.

Report Goldenarbiter · 265 views · Story: Flight 19 ·

Stories that deserve a place in everyone's minds.

  • Our First Steps A tale of the Equestrian Space Programme, in the style of 50s science fiction novels. Poyekhali! by Mrakoplaz 197,232 words · 2,884 views · 302 likes · 5 dislikes
  • Friendship Is Optimal: Caelum Est Conterrens Set in the Optimalverse, a middle-aged woman confronts what emigration to Equestria - uploading to a virtual existence - really means. But can she truly understand - and more importantly, should she trust the artificial intelligence Celestia? by Chatoyance 56,871 words · 16,913 views · 600 likes · 168 dislikes
  • Abandoned Memories (2nd Person POV) Your memory is littered with gaps, with just the sole memory of a traumatic event. by Mika 122,964 words · 10,620 views · 634 likes · 21 dislikes

More amazing stories

  • The Gentle Nights: Audience of One A chance meeting at a ruined gala leads to opportunity. Luna longs to recover from her isolation and the shadows of her past, and she clings to the one pony whose music provides her comfort. She might not be the only benefactor in the arrangement... by PaulAsaran 127,575 words · 3,879 views · 476 likes · 16 dislikes
  • Viewing 167 - 171 of 171
#171 · 18w, 1d ago · · ·

>>2134105 It gets a lot easier when I use a text replacer.

Like I'm sure I said, you're a good author... Just... Using the word Anon in place of a name kills me... I literally feel pain when it happens...

#170 · 18w, 1d ago · · ·

Hey, thanks for following me and for reading my stuff and stuff.

#169 · 25w, 6d ago · · ·

>>2084191 Yah, I've read a few of your stories and probably watched you a few years back, then unwatched you in the great purge of '13.

But now you're back.

#168 · 25w, 6d ago · · ·

Thanks for the watch!

#167 · 38w, 5d ago · · ·

>>1985920 I'll look into it, time permitting.

  • Viewing 167 - 171 of 171
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