Joined November 2012
39 story views
2d, 6h ago

Hmm, a bio ay? Well, not much to tell. I'm English and I love gaming, PC Mastur raic! Also, I eagerly await [DATA EXPUNGED] for his elegant, now non-pony, writing. He chose to remove himself from here


One, my Ezio blending skills. As a child I was intelligent, doing school stuff with ease. I was also socially inept. This stemmed from me being a) smartass and b) some sort of aspergers (Which by the way is amazing) that my nursery diagnosed me with. I learned how to blend with a crowd or just alter my appearance enough so people would look right past me. I was bullied a lot until I moved to an excellent but boring place, Bridport. At this point I had the basic social skills and a small fraction of the ability to calm the fuck down. But back to blending. I got into fights I couldn't win as a child because I was pretty weak physically. So I ran away and lost them. Then I blended into crowds so they couldn't see me. I thought it rather cool until it failed. This brings me onto my next point.

Stealth. I'm pro at stealth. As a kid I was always interested in special agents and Sam Fisher type things. Still am. I practice stealth on a daily basis. When my cover failed as I forgot to remove my glasses. So I ran again. Then they got a bunch of their friends to come after me. 1 weedy year 9 against twenty patrolling jock type year 11's. Not good matchup. I didn't fight these guys in the beginning. I got revenge for them stealing our football by stealing theirs. I stealthed it past five of them patrollin' trying to catch me (ridin' dirty) until I got to the offloading bay and hid in between two shipping crates.

Stealing. By this point you should know I'm an espionage type of guy, the third option in a fight or flight. Nickname says it all. Say I needed a piece of paper to scribble down an address? I'd steal it. Say I needed a tie because I left mine at home in year 10? I stole one and blended. Planted it back on the guy and went. At one point I even stole this admin guy's laptop from his case and planted a keylogger in it. Didn't get caught once out of those. Sure I did get caught a lot but those were my ones I didn't. The laptop one was 6th form. He didn't notice it for ages. At which point I had admin control as the school had linked server OS. Which I sold to certain people.

Businessman skills. As noted I sold stuff to people I shouldn't. Didn't do stuff like that often. But when I did I made a killing. Specifically on cigarettes. Oh you moneyprinters you! Never smoked a day in my life. But I knew people who did; people who would try to hack my stuff for one pack. A shipment of the cigs washed up on the shore of bridport one day. Stole some from other people who had the same idea and came home with about a hundred packs. I was selling to the shitheads who beat me up and to people who wanted to make a quick buck from selling it higher. Then stealing it from them with the help of the fucktards. Anyway, made quite a lot of money, won happiness for a time. I still have a fiver of that time in commemoration of my 1337 deception and selling skills. The fiver is a reserve fiver however, so eh. Mind you, I've kept stupider stuff, I still have Halo 4 mountain dew bottles, which I have super pic evidence of. So eh, take dat interwebz!

Macheviallism, one of the dark triad, ooooohhhhhh. But yes, I did and still do show traits of a sociopath. Not great for anyone who meets me. They either turn away or become sucked in like I'm a holy man. I always try to dominate a conversation and with my aforementioned intelligence I had quite a vocabulary of words. I could appeal to both teachers and students but they each needed different approaches. One however was like me. As such we had a rather tenuous relationship. Both had open dislike for the other. But, I was a child who due to mild aspergers or something so I couldn't feel empathy, she could. This was her weakness and I exploited it. Causing harm to my own body, (Which I recently restarted but feh, I'm weaning myself off again) to play on her empathy. She grew into the logic that she was insulting a poor weak child. So to hell with me if I didn't take that for everything it was worth. I won, she lost, that was all that mattered.

Mental conditioning. Due to bullying I had the thickest skin you could imagine. I read 120 Days of Blueblood and didn't huck once. I just read through it and grinned a bit because I'm a sick bastard. But not in that way. No fappy fappy for that. Not really much else. Couldn't really be shocked by anything, that was good.

Magic bullshit omniscience. Okay, I know this sounds batshit crazy. But it's true. My mum said to me when we lived in an urban area that we would live in a big house with a big garden with a stream running down the back. Guess what house we moved to when we moved to Bridport? That one. The only one in Bridport like that. But she didn't specify the surroundings. We lived right next to a petrol station. As such I can stand more fumes than your average Brit. Not as much as a Bejing Bastard however. But then when we got a notice the house (We rented houses) was going to be knocked down we started looking for other options in our price range. My mother envisioned the next house we moved into and the next. In this program (CASCAID) it gives you a list of questions that you should fill in. Well, I did that and previously she said that I would become a medical man in the field of cancer research, nuclear physicist to be exact (She didn't know the name but the description fit well). Guess what my most recommended job was? A Nuclear Physicist in the branch of cancer. She said this when I was seven. I still want to be a scientist.

I kind of inherited that. My sixth sense is highly attuned and sometimes I just know shit that I shouldn't know. I can guess the scores of a football match and get them right 70% of the time if I know a little bit about them. I can count down the seconds to a goal within five of them. I got 5/6 numbers on the wrong lottery when my Grandad asked me to fill out numbers. I did suggest the dream lottery (Which was what it was) but he said no and went just with the regular one. I even get some wacky dreams about shit that happens. Guess what, said shit happens. It doesn't come often in that form but sometimes it's just shit like what happened recently. My friend had the South Park Movie on his phone and downloaded it the night before this happened. When I went to school I asked if he had got to the part with the V-chip. He asked 'What?' I said about the 'South Park movie you were watching yesterday'. He said 'I didn't watch it yesterday.' When he turned it on, it was at the V-Chip part.

So, basically, my brain is epic but my physical body is frail and stupid. Oh wait, I have good stamina because I used to run from bullies a lot. But it's not great, I can't outpace people who do running clubs. But I can outpace my friends who don't. And used to be able to out pace those who didn't do the club then started. But as said I can't outrun a lot of people anyway so I rely on stealth and sixth sense.

I wrote all this because I wanted to. That's all my good points (In my eyes) I guess, so eh. G'day erryone.

Ghostmk1 · 21 views · Report



#1041955 · 5w, 1d ago · · ·

>>1041711 lolwut? I don't know if you mean it getting 404'd or uploading.

#1041711 · 5w, 1d ago · · ·

Dammit, why do you always take down your story at seemingly random times?

#900156 · 16w, 5h ago · · ·

Thanks a lot for the watch!

#893795 · 16w, 4d ago · · ·

Thanks for the fave on Viva Las Pegasus!

5 74196
Login or register to comment