Once upon a time, you were a pegasus stallion in Canterlot. Not just a pegasus, but a mechanic! Having just left home in search of avoiding your restrictive parents, you live in the most expensive city in the nation. You're a poor underachiever who wants nothing more than to get paid ludicrous amounts of bits and enjoy a pint of beer at the pub. One drunken night you manage to get your feathery self into a heap of trouble surrounding a barrel of apples, an airship, the Elements of Harmony, and their 'leader': Captain Twilight Sparkle.

Will you survive a crew of six mares and a baby dragon mistreating an airship into disrepair while riding it?

Will you find out why Princess Celestia is so concerned about a tiny mountainous nation?

Will Twilight Sparkle ever open up to you?

Will you ever manage to pay your landlady after being gone for this misadventure?

Find out the answers to these questions and more inside!

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Second person shipfic between OC and Twilight.

Teen rating for language, sarcastic narrative, and blatant use of alcohol throughout.

Comments are appreciated as much as favorites.

Numen was less than normal. Not that he minded, most of the time. He had his parents. He had freedom. The only snag? He was an alicorn in a world where there were only supposed to be two: Celestia and Luna. Growing up can be hard. Especially when other ponies expect you to be either a fiendish demon or their savior. Or when you accidentally release an elder god composed of pure chaos and entropy, and start what most ponies would consider the end of times.

Despite his terrible, horrible luck, a happy, grey-coated pegasus with golden eyes starts him on a journey that he never dreamed of. With his own fate undetermined, and a wide, huge world waiting for him, who knows what will become of the white and blue alicorn colt?

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This fic is the genesis of the Royal Road collaboration, telling of a dark Alternate Universe of Equestria where religion, politics, and war are all very real, very brutal things.

Warning for the intermittently butthurt: there's an alicorn OC.

Cover art done by:

ManicVerse