As promised, I will now post a story I wrote during my "Flutterdude is actually productive" stage along with a bunch of other shit that I didn't finish. I'm posting it as a blog because I don't think it would be accepted as an actual story. Hope you guys like it, which you don't.
For Ms. Cheerilee's social studies class
Born: October 10th, 1985 (Ponyville) (age 26)
Cutie mark: Two beamed eighth notes
Occupation: Electronic music producer
Genres: Techno, electric pop, electronica (debatably), decks, rave
Years active: 2011-present
Labels: Independent (debatably), Anderson-Ingram Records
Vinyl Scratch (born October 10th, 1985), often referred to by her stage name DJ Pon3 (pronounced "DEE-jay POHN-three") is a techno electronic musician from Ponyville. She has quickly become one of the most prominent producers in the electronic music scene of the 2010s, releasing her first single, "No BGM", to critical acclaim on February 4th, 2011.
Her style is largely typical of the techno subgenre, taking non-electronic instrumentals (such as organs in "No BGM" or guitars in "Love is in Bloom") and re-arranging them in distinctly electronic manners (often adding an electronic drum beat, as is typical of techno), as well as making frequent use of samples, vocalists (such as Pinkie Pie in "Equestria Girls" and Twilight Sparkle in "Love is in Bloom"), and electronic alteration effects, such as saturation and sudden cuts.
She is slated to be featured in an upcoming release from Anderson-Ingram Records, MDC-Y2K RMX, a collaboration with a plethora of other artists, such as deadhor5 and DJ Raverider, remixing popular pieces of classical orchestra music.
Vinyl Scratch was born to unicorn parents on October 10th, 1985, in Ponyville.
As a child, Vinyl was fascinated by music. Her parents were certain her cutie mark would be music-related after noting their child's fixation with drumming on pots and pans. As Vinyl herself recalls, "My earliest memory takes place in my family's living room in 1987. I'm drumming with two wooden spoons on a skillet, a sauce pot, a griddle, a stock pot and a thin little cake pan. The skillet and sauce pot were toms, the griddle was the hi-hat, the cake pan was the crash cymbal, and the stock pot was the bass drum. I couldn't use magic yet, and my hoof-eye coordination was like that of a three-year-old, what with being three years old and all.
"Back in '87 it was excruciating drek, but nowadays I could've recorded it and released it as, like, 'break-dub' or something like that." 
Vinyl was quick to embrace the Digital Revolution affecting more and more aspects of contemporary life. As she reminisces, "Growing up in the '80s and '90s, the latest, coolest thing in the music scene was rave and electronica. Klopftwerk and Fatpony Slim and that sort of thing. I listened to it and I liked it, but I always thought that there was a lot of potential in it just waiting to be realized. Maybe the technology wasn't in place, I don't know, but I determined that one day I was going to be a music revolutionary, an innovator. I was going to be one of the biggest stars of an industry that didn't have a whole lot of huge names in it at the time." 
On March 10th, 1994, an eight-year-old Vinyl had just left big band practice, where she played the snare drum. She walked to her friend Octavia's house and found that her friend's uncle was visiting. "So Octy yanks the headphones of my Walkpony out and tells me about this newfangled thingamajigger that her goofy uncle had gotten. It was an electronic sampler that you played like a drum set. Her uncle was cool enough to let me fool around with it, and I figured out how to record samples to play on the pads. So I recorded some cookware samples: a skillet, a sauce pot, a griddle, a stock pot, and a little cake pan.
"So I tapped away at the sampler for a bit, got the hang of it, you know. And then bam, I was drumming away, trying to imitate this break-beat song I had been listening to. Boom, ti-ti-boom, boom-ti-ti-tuh, boom, ti-ti-boom, boom-ti-ti-tuh, boom, ti-ti-boom, boom-ti-ti-tuh, boom, ti-ti-boom, boom-ti-ti-tuh...
"When I was done Octy pointed to my flank. And there it was." 
At the age of 25, Vinyl Scratch sent a demo track (an early version of what would become "No BGM") to Anderson-Ingram Records. She received a response in three days and was signed onto the label's list the day following, in January 2011. 
In her words, "They didn't want me using my real name as an artist. I think my name fits well, but I just thought, whatever, it's either create a handle for myself or don't get signed on. It took me a grand total of thirty seconds to come up with 'DJ Pon3'." 
Her first single, "No BGM", was released on February 4th, 2011. It was met with overwhelmingly positive critical reception and DJ Pon3 was a sleeper hit in the electronic music scene.
Riding on the success of "No BGM", DJ Pon3 released a preview to a new song, "Equestria Girls", on May 24th. She surprised audiences by releasing her second single three days later, on May 27th. The song featured guest singer Pinkie Pie and was a massive chart hit.
At this point, Scratch had a dedicated cult fan base. Her followers began calling themselves "bronies", after a line in "Equestria Girls".
Scratch spent most of the remaining year working on new tracks, scheduling a tour, and making occasional live performances, her first being at a fashion show in February 2011 where she performed "No BGM" along with several untitled tracks that have yet to receive a studio release.
She performed at the wedding of Princess Cadence and Prince Shining Armor on April 21st, 2012, releasing her third single, "Love is in Bloom", featuring vocals from Twilight Sparkle, and handing free copies of the record to attendees afterwards.
She has not yet released a proper EP or album, but claims to be working on the matter.
In September of 2011, local Ponyville disc jockey Three Hound found a vinyl record on a mattress in an alleyway behind his studio, enscribed with the words "tu es Idioteque" ("you are Idiotic" in Fancy). He brought it inside, where he tested it on his phonograph player. "At first, I thought the disc was busted, 'cause it had all of these random noises in the background and it had this really wonky beat to it, but after a while I decided that the track was probably just weird. In any case, it was a trippy song, for sure." 
Three Hound played the track on his music program the next day, where he asked his listeners to identify the song and find out why it was left behind his studio for no discernable reason. Callers were stumped, and the song became something of a local topic of discussion in Ponyville. No one had ever heard the song before, and it appeared that the copy left in the alleyway behind Three Hound's studio was the only one in existence.
Eventually, ponies began asking Vinyl Scratch if she knew anything about the track. She made a guest appearance on Three Hound's program on October 2nd, 2011. After listening to it, she commented, "As a matter of fact, the beat rings a bell. I remember a certain record being in my studio. Really wonky, electronica, so it's outside of my usual style, but that track you just played does sound a bit familiar. But I have only the foggiest memory of the record. I haven't seen it in about a month. I'm sorry I don't remember very well, but in retrospect, let's just say I had placed a special order of brownies from Sugar Cube Corner earlier that day, and Pinkie Pie was kind enough to see it through." 
It is unknown to this day why the song was made, if any more copies of it exist, who is singing in the song, or if Scratch's spotty recollections of the record are legitimate mis-remembrance or deliberate vagueness.
In the wake of the "tu es Idioteque" record, a growing air of mystique began surrounding DJ Pon3 over the months. As she recalls, "I wanted to keep a couple secrets to see if anypony cared. I guess they did. I love monitering the fans and learning about all the sorts of things they debate and try to figure out. I guess you could say I'm a bit of a troll. All of my friends who know the answers to the questions fans ask have been great to me. They've played along. Including you! I'm surprised it's lasted this long without somepony spoiling it." 
One of the biggest debates recently surrounding DJ Pon3 regards her eye color. Fans are divided over whether her irises are red or magenta. General fan consensus imagined her eyes as being red before a concert she gave after the wedding of Princess Cadence and Prince Shining Armor in Canterlot on April 21st, 2012. During the concert, she briefly took off her signature purple eye glasses without warning. Many videos of the event were being taken at the moment, and individual interpretations of the evidence made some fans insist that her eyes were, indeed, red, but others believed her eyes were a magenta or cerise-like hue. Scratch has also released photographs of her recording songs in the studio, hanging out with guest singers and performers back-stage, and the like. Precisely half of the pictures show red irises, but an equal number show magenta eyes. It is unknown by the general public which photos are altered and which show her actual eye color.
"I just really like messing with my little bronies. I'm a troll, yes. But I'm a cute troll. I'm... I'm a 'twoll'!" 
DJ Pon3 has given several live performances, her first being in Ponyville in February 2011, and her largest being in Canterlot in April 2012.
Most of her live performances have been secondary to other events. Her February 2011 appearance was DJing at a fashion show, and her April 2012 appearance was at the after-wedding party of Princess Cadence and Prince Shining Armor. She has opened for other artists, played alongside fellow producers on equal hoofing, and DJed at private parties and other such things as well.
She has yet to begin any organized tour, but claims to be scheduling one for the near future.
DJ Pon3's specialty is techno, identified by taking non-electronic instrumentals and re-arranging them in distinctly electronic manners (often adding an electronic drum beat), as well as making frequent use of samples and electronic alteration effects, such as saturation and sudden cuts.
On her techno style, she elaborates, "When I decided I wanted to be an electronic musician, my parents thought I was crazy. Why would I ever want to make music on a computer? They made me go to big band class, they asked me if I had any interest in playing the piano, the guitar, the glockenspiel, just anything but computer music. But like I've said elsewhere, I wanted to be an innovator, and guess what the next frontier of music was when I was a kid? Electronic music. Nowadays you have genres like garage and house, but when I was a girl, we had rave and break-beat and electronica, and we were happy! And I had to walk five clicks to school in the snow and we dissected wooden blocks in science class, but we were happy!
"Anyway, back then, 'electronic music' was mostly viewed by non-fans - e.g., my parents - as lazy bums trying to use computers to imitate real music when they have no musical talent. That wasn't the case. Electronic music is music, just as legitimately as classical and jazz and folk and everything in between. Have you ever tried mixing a song live? It's a performance art, just like the piano and the guitar and the glockenspiel. It was just that when I was a girl, the industry hadn't fully discovered its incredible potential yet. I was determined to do that. And now look how much electronic music has evolved. The kind of stuff I hear kids listen to these days is a far cry from the break-beat and rave that I grew up on. That's not to say it's bad; it's brilliant. I love how diverse electronic music is, and I only hope it evolves more and more as time goes on. It's just that techno is more inside of my personal comfort zone. I take great non-electronic music and give it a great electronic flavor. That's just how I roll." 
Vinyl Scratch is currently single and resides in Ponyville, where producing electronic music is her full-time job.
To date, DJ Pon3 has released three singles: "No BGM" (2011), "Equestria Girls" (2011), and "Love is in Bloom" (2012).
She has not released an EP nor an album, but claims to have one currently in the works. She has hinted at untitled songs she has played live in the past as well as new, never-before-heard tracks both being included in her first album. She has not confirmed a title.
An upcoming project of hers is the collaborative effort MDC-Y2K RMX, which will feature herself and several other electronic artists remixing popular classical pieces. "MDC-Y2K RMX is, like, the magnum opus of techno. I'm surprised something like it hasn't been done before. It's just too perfect of a concept: take old music and make it new. Take great music and make it great in a fresh new way. That's, like, my entire musical philosophy. I'm just as stoked as the general public to see this project released, maybe even more so. You have break-beat and house and garage and trance on it, too, and I like them all, but this collab was born to be techno. I'm honored that they chose me to represent that party." 
- : Daily Equestrian interview with DJ Pon3, July 29th, 2011.
- : Equestria Inquirer interview with DJ Pon3, April 12th, 2012.
- : Anderson-Ingram Records client list, Equestrian Library of Congress.
- : Episode 315 of The Three Hound Show, October 2nd, 2011.
- : Rolling Shoe interview with DJ Pon3, February 27th, 2012.
- : Vinyl was kind enough to take time out of her day to go on a picnic with my big sister Rarity and I while we were visiting Canterlot a few days ago! I was a personal witness to those words coming out of her mouth, and my questions garnered them! Isn't that awesome?!
Oh, by the way, she showed us her real eye color. I'm not telling!
- Sweetie Belle
May 6th, 2012