Dusty Sage

Joined June 2012
5,575 story views
54m, 47s ago

I've been writing online for nearly thirty years.  One of these days I might actually get good at it.

The TwiBrush Tales

  • The Sparkle Chronicles Okay, so the girl of your dreams turns out to be a pony. Now what? by Dusty Sage 18,479 words · 2,171 views · 82 likes · 6 dislikes
  • Second Act To be a Very Special Somepony, first you must be a pony. by Dusty Sage 12,307 words · 1,085 views · 42 likes · 8 dislikes
  • Somepony New New home, new life, new species. Now things start to get complicated. by Dusty Sage 9,156 words · 788 views · 46 likes · 2 dislikes
  • The Life That Late He Led The continuing adventures of Twilight Sparkle and Desert Brush. by Dusty Sage 16,859 words · 240 views · 18 likes · 4 dislikes

Latest Stories

  • The Life That Late He LedThe continuing adventures of Twilight Sparkle and Desert Brush.16,859 words ·240 views ·18 likes ·4 dislikes
  • The way she used to beYou never forget your first crush.10,527 words ·565 views ·44 likes ·0 dislikes
  • Second ActTo be a Very Special Somepony, first you must be a pony.12,307 words ·1,085 views ·42 likes ·8 dislikes
  • Somepony NewNew home, new life, new species. Now things start to get complicated.9,156 words ·788 views ·46 likes ·2 dislikes
  • Dead Pony FlyingRainbow Dash is scheduled for the Long Black Train, but first she has some flying to do.2,071 words ·726 views ·41 likes ·2 dislikes
  • The Sparkle ChroniclesOkay, so the girl of your dreams turns out to be a pony. Now what?18,479 words ·2,171 views ·82 likes ·6 dislikes

Inspirations I

  • Dreaming with Ponies They say you reap what you sow. As the world turns, one mare finally sees the reward of holding on. by ROBCakeran53 4,732 words · 18,345 views · 879 likes · 22 dislikes
  • Grief When something goes terribly wrong, Twilight begins to blame herself. by LunaUsesCaps 6,465 words · 5,304 views · 472 likes · 32 dislikes
  • For the Love of an Earth Pony You never dreamed of romance. That was until you met her. by AJ 30,212 words · 6,406 views · 305 likes · 28 dislikes
  • Tinkermane Twilight discovers true love in the heart of a steam engineer. by Razorbeam 130,524 words · 4,791 views · 505 likes · 15 dislikes
  • Background Pony "My name's Lyra Heartstrings, but you won't remember anything. Listen to my symphony, for it by shortskirtsandexplosions 432,377 words · 55,547 views · 4,603 likes · 145 dislikes

Inspirations II

  • A Twilight Landing A strange girl has shown up in another strange girl's garage. Together, can they figure out just what is going on? Will they be able to get the strange girl claiming to be Twilight Sparkle home? by MerlosTheMad 236,096 words · 9,047 views · 926 likes · 25 dislikes
  • Chaos Theory Those ponies are going to pay for what they've done, and Discord will be the one delivering the punishment by Harime Nui 4,751 words · 1,073 views · 444 likes · 31 dislikes
  • Colors of the Heart After an horrifically awful day, a young Manehattan painter somehow finds herself on the wrong end of the law. With no experience of life outside the big city and a secret she is ashamed of, she is forced to flee to a town completely foreign to her. by Azu 191,411 words · 4,222 views · 674 likes · 29 dislikes
  • Anthropology Lyra is determined to find out the truth behind the mysterious legends of humans. by JasonTheHuman 130,415 words · 101,580 views · 6,244 likes · 137 dislikes
  • Her Own Pony All of Pinkie's clones are gone. All but one. by Jorofrarie 55,102 words · 8,900 views · 1,229 likes · 31 dislikes

Inspirations III

  • Austraeoh Rainbow Dash flies east. by Imploding Colon 212,744 words · 12,215 views · 1,112 likes · 38 dislikes
  • Melodious Desideratum You dread the spotlight, but when opportunity arrises, you'll make an exception . . . for her. by Desideratium 55,674 words · 5,350 views · 440 likes · 11 dislikes
  • Inner Demons On her 21st birthday, Twilight reads a prophesy that starts a downward spiral into her own darkness. by SapphireLibra3 148,962 words · 11,574 views · 1,206 likes · 96 dislikes
  • I Would Give to You You move to Ponyville, and a certain mare catches your eye, but are you right for her? by Jet Howitzer 51,178 words · 5,156 views · 572 likes · 17 dislikes
  • Severed Roots Third and final installment in the "Tangled Roots" timeline. When our heroes of the West and our villains in the East clash at last, who will be left standing? by Bad_Seed_72 216,685 words · 992 views · 157 likes · 5 dislikes

This time with actual answers, kinda sorta:

1. What's your name?

Sez "Charles" on the birth certificate.

2. How old are you?


3. What country do you live in?

As Borat would say, the U. S. and A.

4. What do you look like?

I used to say I resembled the love child of Roseanne Barr by Rush Limbaugh, but that was 75 pounds ago.

5. Who do you wish you looked like?

Paul Giamatti, except taller.

6. How did you come across MLP?

A friend of mine -- college professor -- dropped a few pony references here and there, and if there's anything I hate, it's not being able to keep up with an individual with twice as much education.  

7. Favourite Ship and Why?

The one that makes most sense to me is AppleDash; however, I really, truly want Twilight Sparkle to find somepony.  

8. Least favourite ship?

Anypony with an inanimate object.  (Now two inanimate objects -- Scootareader has done one, and done it brilliantly -- that's fine.)

9. Have you admitted to anyone your love for ponies?

By now, just about everyone who will listen, and several who didn't plan to.

10. Were they family?

Some were, some weren't.

11. Favorite Episode?

Still "A Canterlot Wedding."

12. Favourite superhero?

I've been a Fantastic Four fan since ish #1 (which I have in a bound volume).

13. Fave Anti-hero?

Captain Yossarian in Catch-22.

14. Fave Supervillain?

Victor von Doom.  (See #12.)

15. Fave antivillain?

Dr. Horrible.

16. The last book you read?

King of the Mild Frontier: An Ill-Advised Autobiography by Chris Crutcher

17. Last movie you watched?

Idiocracy (again).

18. Favourite song at the moment?

Taylor Swift's "Back to December."

19. Fave song you keep coming back to?

Jackie DeShannon's "When You Walk In The Room."

20. Current job?

I tend a server farm for a sports operation in Central Time.

21. What's your ideal future job?

Same thing, with someone else doing the heavy lifting.

22. Dream job?

In no particular order: getting paid to write; getting paid not to write.

23. What's your greatest achievement so far in life?

I'm 3-0 against the Grim Reaper.

24. Greatest Failure?

When the Reaper finally scores.

25. Do you have pets?


26. What's your dream pet?

I really don't aspire to one.

27. Any weapons you own?

I've had a few guns in my day.

28. Any gun you want?

It's illegal to own one, but I really enjoyed what is officially described as "United States Machine Gun, Caliber 7.62 mm, M60," simply because I was better at it than I thought I should have been.

29. What religion are you?

Semi-relapsed Roman Catholic.

30. If you could hang out with one historical person for day?

G. K. Chesterton.  (See #29.)

31. If you could bring back one dead person for a day?

Any of three siblings who have gone before.

32. Are you political?

Not voluntarily, though it's hard to ignore it these days.

33. Are you married?

Not since 1987.

34. Do you have a special somepony?


35. Do you have a crush?


36. Care to explain?

The only way to get over someone is to find a replacement.

37. Do you consider yourself attractive?

Not in the least.

38. If you could hang with any living person?

P. J. O'Rourke.

39. Favourite Pony?

Twilight Sparkle.

40. Any embarrassing secrets?

After 18 years of running a blog, I don't have any secrets to speak of anymore.  

41. If you've done any art or writing, what are you most proud of?

Anything about which someone says "It's not as bad as you thought it was."

42. Are you a virgin?

Um, no.  And neither are my children.

43. Craziest thing you've done with no regrets?

Rode up a mountain on a bicycle in the dead of night -- and, then, of course, came back down.

44. Craziest thing you've done you do regret?

I'm really too old to have regrets at this point.

45. Do you have a fetish?

Not in any strict sense of the word.  Although see chapter 6 of The Sparkle Chronicles:  "A sweet smile and a decent pair of legs, I had said, would get my attention every time."  That's the one line in the whole story that exactly describes me.

46. Do you regret saying this fetish?

Not really.

47.  Fave FIM stories?

I have argued that Background Pony by SS&E will someday make college reading lists.

48. Fave quote?

It's been my blog slogan since ever:  "I couldn't possibly fail to disagree with you less."

49. Have you ever hurt someone just to hurt them?

Not really, though I've occasionally questioned my motivations.

50. Did you answer these questions honestly?

Perhaps more than necessary.

Dusty Sage · 67 views · Report

I am the very model of a modern minor generalist

I've been writing online for half my life, taking time out for meals of course, and in all that time, it has never occurred to me that someone might actually want to read something I'd written.

My range of interests may be fairly characterized as a thousand miles wide and about three-eighths of an inch deep.  And if you ever thought it was tricky explaining your devotion to pony to family members -- well, imagine what it's like when all those family members are younger than you are.


#1074274 · 2w, 6d ago · · ·


A very wise observation indeed.

#1072982 · 3w, 9h ago · · ·

Greetings! Do you like muffins? (Very likely; almost everypony does!)

And another thing that almost everypony likes; Followers! Yay!

Have a virtual muffin and a follower for you, dear sir or lady :moustache: Feel free to return it, or not.

Oh, and never forget the good part of life; Have fun! :twilightsmile:

#1063745 · 3w, 5d ago · · ·


Works for me.

Comment posted by Darksonickiller deleted at 7:11pm on the 22nd of March, 2014
#1041548 · 5w, 3d ago · · ·

Thank You for your favorite on An Evil Elixir.

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