Either way, I think you are already a solid writer. You made captivating and well thought-out characters, and you are pretty decent at making the reader want more by the end of the chapter.
All I think you need to really work on is pacing. Like I said, I think your story went by a little too fast for my tastes. It was enough time to get to really like some characters, but others I feel really could have used more time to be developed. Like Seth again for an example. We barely know anything about the guy. I can't imagine the last 2 friends they have to find are gonna get much screen time either.
If you are gonna have a large cast of supporting characters, make sure not to leave 'em in the background too much, 'kay?
Just keep these things in mind and I'm sure you will do great on future works.
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>>455429
Huh, really? Surprising.
Either way, I think you are already a solid writer. You made captivating and well thought-out characters, and you are pretty decent at making the reader want more by the end of the chapter.
All I think you need to really work on is pacing. Like I said, I think your story went by a little too fast for my tastes. It was enough time to get to really like some characters, but others I feel really could have used more time to be developed. Like Seth again for an example. We barely know anything about the guy. I can't imagine the last 2 friends they have to find are gonna get much screen time either.
If you are gonna have a large cast of supporting characters, make sure not to leave 'em in the background too much, 'kay?
Just keep these things in mind and I'm sure you will do great on future works.
Thanks a bunch for the constructive comment! Yours is the first one in... oh, I don't know, around 2 months...
>>259970
No problem! A friend showed me the fic and I thought it looked quite promising. Looking forward to more!
Tia and Lu would like to say thanks for faving The Powers That Be!