Crushric

Joined December 2011
236 followers
8,126 story views
5h, 49m ago

Crushric, n. — An egocentric mascochist, a Southern gentleman, and snarky smartass. If you're looking for someone to disappoint you, he won't disappoint you.

Wherein I monger my wares

  • The Lady Wore RedLike a stallion terrified of having children, they pulled me out of retirement. I was the best Special Agent they had, which was saying a lot, because I'm about as effective at my job as a mime having a stroke, and only half as hilarious.10,026 words ·1,100 views ·132 likes ·4 dislikes
  • JerichoIf you came to hear a story, I'm sorry to disappoint. I suspect this'll just end up as one big confession, really. Still, with enough wit, some Prussian ingenuity, a droll sense of humor, and wanton murder, I might just be able to survive.508,015 words ·7,026 views ·634 likes ·60 dislikes
Jul
19th
2014

Your move, naysaying hamsters. I know you're out there!

But seriously, I've been slacking off. Need to work more.

And I got IRL!Cards to read Jericho. And I quote:

I am making angry squinty eyes in an attempt to be scary when it comes to Cards and all the terrible things that happen to her and the comparison to me. Maybe I should write a fanfic of your fanfic in which she stops crying and finally gets her bloody, badass revenge.

Clearly, the end is nigh. And I have brought it.

Crushric · 98 views · Edited 1w, 4d ago · Report

Wherein you yell at me for not including your OC into my story

#1255970 · 3w, 1d ago · · ·

>>1255939 Giraffe punching? Better then sports ball.

#1255939 · 3w, 1d ago · · ·

>>1255907

Wondering about. Punching Giraffes.

Very slowly writing bits of Jericho. Too damn slowly.

#1255907 · 3w, 1d ago · · ·

Hey, so uh... where have you been?

#1249018 · 3w, 6d ago · · ·

jerichos version of celestia ordering the viewer to prepare their anus, as a gaggle(?) of clowns lear ominously from behind her, holding up random phallic shaped tools of their trade.

hehe...

honestly cant think much beyond murderous grins, knives and blood splatters for suggestions. and i also sound insane at the moment. yup

#1224248 · 5w, 6d ago · · ·

I would like to see C on the new cover art.

#1221145 · 6w, 1d ago · · ·

I love your profile pic

#1201726 · 7w, 4d ago · · ·

Happy birthday, mate! :twilightsmile:

Hope you've been doing well for yourself!

#1160255 · 11w, 8h ago · · ·

>>1160000 Honestly, Jericho is one of those amazing, unforgettable fics. It has also taught me how badass Germany is and how funny sociopathy can be. I suppose I'm just surprised that your follower count is so low, considering how funny your stuff is.

#1160000 · 11w, 13h ago · · ·

>>1159430

Iunno. I don't have anything interesting to blog about nor a string of stories that warrant following?

Oh, 'cept for that upcoming Cards standalone side story thingy, should it ever see the light of day.

#1159430 · 11w, 1d ago · · ·

Crushric, how the hell do you only have 214 followers?

5 7075
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