Crushric

Joined December 2011
211 followers
7,420 story views
1h, 42m ago

Crushric, n. — An egocentric mascochist, a Southern gentleman, and snarky smartass. If you're looking for someone to disappoint you, he won't disappoint you.

Wherein I monger my wares

  • The Lady Wore RedLike a stallion terrified of having children, they pulled me out of retirement. I was the best Special Agent they had, which was saying a lot, because I'm about as effective at my job as a mime having a stroke, and only half as hilarious.10,026 words ·954 views ·121 likes ·3 dislikes
  • JerichoIf you came to hear a story, I'm sorry to disappoint. I suspect this'll just end up as one big confession, really. Still, with enough wit, some Prussian ingenuity, a droll sense of humor, and wanton murder, I might just be able to survive.498,484 words ·6,466 views ·591 likes ·58 dislikes
Feb
18th
2014

Hail to you, stranger.

I'm sure you've noticed that I've not updated Jericho in an uncharacteristically long time. Why is this? Well, that's because I had a crazy idea and began working on a side project; that is, the writing of a full-length fantasy novel. It hight "Phoenix Fire", and some intrepid readers might recall me speaking thereof a while ago. See, it came into my hands as an idea and a world that I was fascinated by but that never reached the light of the day. Terribly incomplete, yet also with its own world and a history for me to mess with, I accepted stewardship over the world of Phoenix Fire, promising to give it the honor and respect it deserved in the form of a novel written in my tone of voice. It's a light fantasy novel (meaning not as magic-heavy as, say, Dungeons and Dragons) and is told from the point of view of the only character I know how to write, Jericho Amadeus Faust as he crosses the Glasslands and chases a dragon into the east. Have a sample of the work, which is how the story itself actually begins.

Curiosity.

In short, without this most suicidal of feelings, no one would be so stupid as to see a mighty dragon flying eastwards and think, “Hey, I should totally follow that across this ash-and-glass-filled desert, because that makes sense.” But that was all okay, for I’d done stuff like this twice before, and it had only ended in tragedy twice. Of course, I’d never seen a dragon before, but when I saw that silvern behemoth tearing through the skies, spewing flames and roaring so loud it shook the very earth, I knew that I had to follow it.

It's written in the same style wherein I speak in real life.

Now, what does this mean for Jericho the worst story you ever laid eyes upon? Nothing, really. Amacita, my friend and editor, got me to agree that once I finished the first third of the book, I would return to finishing up this part of Jericho. And, after a few weeks of working thereat, I finished successfully the first third of Phoenix Fire, clocking out at just under 30k words. I'm quite proud thereof, but you can expect more Jericho in the coming weeks, because I love you guys, and you're all masochists who continuously read the crap I spew forth.

And remembers kids, don't do drugs. Or I'll find you...

Crushric · 129 views · Report

Wherein you yell at me for not including your OC into my story

#1078324 · 2w, 4d ago · · ·

Crushric is best Knight Inductor. 10/10

#1001934 · 8w, 3d ago · · ·

10/ten wood reeeed.

#1001895 · 8w, 3d ago · · ·

>>997149

Well, I intend to go no closer than Jericho already is. It's a grimdark light fantasy world wherein Jericho is the narrator, thus making the horrible stuff (like dealing with an army of Spartan-esque rapists) less horrific that it actually is.

>>983430

It is high as "Phoenix Fire" (Subtitle pending?). It takes its name from a fantasy project I was looking into that never actually saw the night of day, but nevertheless had an interesting foundation. I offered to pic it up in honor of my friends over there, and then I bastardized it by putting Jericho thereinto.

#997149 · 8w, 6d ago · · ·

>>967512

Were I to describe what it's looking like so far, it's basically The Hitchhiker's Guide meets The Dark Tower, set in a hardcore realistic fantasy world with Jericho Amadeus Faust still out narrator, in name and everything, save for being basically like he is in the werekind world.

Sounds intriguing...

How close to HHGTTG do you plan to go? One thing that is interesting to realize is that once you look past the silly absurdities, that "trilogy" is incredibly dark and bleak.

Really the only difference between Lovecraft and Adams is that Adams gave the horror an extra helping of suck by making it absurd. In Lovecraft's universe, we exist in an ephemeral soap-bubble of a fool's paradise which could not hope to last and the horrible things that once ruled our planet would soon come again and exterminate us in an orgy of pain, corruption, and insanity. Adams is pretty much the same thing, except the god beings are pan-dimensional white mice looking for the question to 42.

#983430 · 10w, 21h ago · 1 · ·

>>967512 I say, that is how you open a fuckin' book. Besides the opening of Jericho.

But, anyway, yeah. Definitely would read your books.

Out of curiosity, what would the book series be called? Jericho? Or perhaps...Curiosity?

Whatever you call it, it'll be GRRRREAT. I want a super-adorable-depressed cards, I want Chapter 8 IN GREAT DETAIL, and I want so much Jericho that I burst.

Go forth, prophet of Jericho. Engage the unknown. Then kick it's sorry ass.

#968490 · 11w, 23h ago · · ·

>>967512  :pinkiehappy: Ha! Sounds like a really good way to capture someone's attention.

Keep it up, maestro...

#967512 · 11w, 1d ago · · ·

>>967326  

>>925514

Truly, I have already begun on writing that novel proper. Been spending all week thereupon instead of doing Jericho like I should. Were I to describe what it's looking like so far, it's basically The Hitchhiker's Guide meets The Dark Tower, set in a hardcore realistic fantasy world with Jericho Amadeus Faust still out narrator, in name and everything, save for being basically like he is in the werekind world.

To give you an idea of its tone, this is how it begins:

Curiosity.

In short, without this most suicidal of feelings, no one would be so stupid as to see a mighty dragon flying eastwards and think, “Hey, I should totally follow that across this ash-and-glass-filled desert, because that makes sense.”

What say you?

#967326 · 11w, 1d ago · · ·

>>925524 I understand that comment of yours was from weeks ago, but I agree with King: I believe you could write something pretty darn awesome not unlike The Hitchhikers guide to The Galaxy. Aside from some of the clichés in Jericho (still freakin hilarious, I really have nothing against them) I think you have potential bro. I hope to be a writer too one of these days, but here on FimFiction I can only hope to grace the shelf stories like yours are placed on.:twilightsmile:

P.S The Mane Six bashing makes me sad at times but they tend to make complete sense, and they're pretty hilarious.

#925524 · 14w, 2d ago · · ·

>>925514

Well, to be perfectly frank, Jericho is practice for such a thing. I wanted to test the waters, learn how not to suck, and then mayhap dabble into novelcraft once I've learned how not to suck at writing (something which I'm not entirely sure I've learned how to do). Honestly, were I to actually write this novel, the narrator-protagonist would still basically be Jericho, only it'd take place in a world not unlike that of the werekind land: lots of grimdark, lots of silly, and probaly some Cards to abuse.

Still, I really thank you for this comment. It's one of those that says unto me, "You can one day be a published author!"

#925514 · 14w, 2d ago · · ·

You are the greatest of writers. Go make a book. Please?

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